Farkin' Links Vol. 101 6/30

It seems like a good time to start hyping up Newjen's fireworks extravaganza for Monday the 4th. Just check the previous people who have been there and they'll all tell you it's one hell of a show. True, there have been some casualties; Jon almost burned his eye out and there have been plenty of damaged clothing, but let me put it this way. Jon hasn't missed a show yet. Some things you'd give your right eye for...like this show. It's explosive.

"Success is not the result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire."
--Reggie Leach

I bet if Newjen did this, you'd all come watch his fireworks extravaganza...so, whattya say, Tony? Will you? I know I'd like to see this.

Holy...this is so not appropriate for work...hell, it's not appropriate for anything, but it's the craziest most bold "Japanese people are crazy" link I've ever seen. DO NOT watch this at work.

This is blatant evidence that you can never underestimate the stupidity of the public.

Uh oh, people...today is the last day of Toby's life.

Ouch. This is the reason people who ride motorcycles usual cause of death is...riding a motorcycle.

This guy has been watching too much German porn...but the funniest part of this story is the fact that the guy's name is Moody.

Pamela Anderson is aging much quicker than I thought...hell, she already needs depends.

Since I seem to be a in a dirty mood tonight, for our silly ebay auction of the day, we have a guy who ended up having far too much fun...so much, that a doctor had to remove it. Here are the X-rays.

Gee, maybe if Amnesty International wasn't going on about Gitmo being a GULAG with torture and murder, we might actually hear their complaints about some inhumanity going on in Iran.

Do you wish you could go hang out in the city that never sleeps, but can't afford it? Well, you can download these pictures and pretend.

Here's an impossibly hard baseball game for you to try out...only slightly less hard than actually standing in the batters box in the Majors.

Wow, a timber mafia and strippers? I really have to go to India now.

I dunno...it seems like a fair punishment. Little brats most likely deserved it.

Well, I haven't put in a Star Wars link in a while, so you can't complain. Besides, Darth Vader would probably be a really tight DJ.

Jeez...no drunkeness, drugs or porn? Does Bob Jones University even qualify as a college?

That's good to know. I wonder if this is posted in Gitmo?

Awww....poor bike. Wait a minute? Did I just feel bad for a bicycle? Damn, these guys are good filmmakers.

This chick got ripped off on her breast implants...still, I wish our commercials were as funny as foreign ones.

See, this isn't helping eliminate the prejudices people have about African Americans, but I gotta say, that boy can dance!

Hehe...that's about right...damn commies.

Farkin' Links Vol. 100 6/29

Holy cow...I've gotten to 100! I should make this special or double sized or something to mark the occasion...but I'm not going to. It's just going to be business as usual. Enjoy.

"It is a far, far better thing to have a firm anchor in nonsense than to put out on the troubled sea of thought."
--John Kenneth Galbraith


Well, this guy takes all the fun out of Batman Begins...what little there was to begin with, anyways.

This should come in handy for storing my...uhhh...personal pics.

How much do you want to bet this guy is a NASCAR fan? He's quite definitely the man.

This is pretty cool, but these things were hard enough to pedal when I was 10 years old and full of sugar...I'd be done in 5 minutes now.

Have you ever complained about having nothing to read? Of course not, you bunch of ADDers spend your time in front of a tv all the time. Still, for the low price of 7,000 bucks you can have 828 feet of books...that you'll never read.

Mmmmm....bacon....I don't think this is on my short list of gifts for Moody.

I suppose Michael would be good with videogames considering all the time he spends with children...

For the silly ebay auction of the day, wow...not only do I get this crappy toy, but I get the story as well? Oh wait, you gave me the story for free...

Hey, those two old guys from the Muppet Show are back. I remember them being funnier...of course, I remember Voltron and He-Man being wonderful shows with clever original scripts.

This is why you should never change clothes in front of a camera...even if you think it's not working.

These are some extreme athletes...extremely stupid athletes.

Hey ladies...if you're getting desperate, I found the perfect website for you. Surprise, surprise, he's still single.

I'm not sure why I played this game so long; maybe I just like the idea of being a psychopathic bunny with John Woo fetish.

Everybody kung fu fighting...

Only in Australia...I suspect he was more angry that it wasn't beer than the fact that his overtime was alcohol.

You know, with the way teachers are today, I'm really sad I wasn't born at a later date.

It's nice to see Paula Abdul getting involved in the government and caring about her community...wait a minute...this is over nails? What a stupid bi...

I'm not sure what's more ridiculous...the fact that they actually made 20 sided dice to hang in your rear view mirror, or the fact that it's sold out.

Where there's a will, there's a way...especially for horny inmates.

In the "Japanese people are crazy" link for the day, we have my dream of a gold plated toilet seat coming closer and closer to fruition.

Farkin' Links Vol. 99 6/28

I got around to watching the movie Hitch last night, the movie starring Will Smith as a dating doctor named Hitch who helps guys get the girl of their dreams. It's a silly, breezy romantic comedy that has enough actual funny to keep a guy watching it, but make no mistake, it's still a romantic chick movie. The first hour is much better than the last as it devolves into what is supposed to be an emotional rollercoaster and ends in the usual way; Will Smith's character makes a damn fool out of himself and begs like a dog to the girl he's in love with. Unlike in real life, where a woman ends up laughing about the sorry schmuck over a drink with her friends, in these movies she usually relents and deems him pitiful enough to take back...and you gals wonder why guys hate watching romantic movies. Kevin James, the fat schlub who Will Smith helps get with a billionaire beautiful heiress, manages to steal every scene he's in. I've never seen him before, but I understand he's on one of the countless sitcoms starring a fat blue collar everyman who is somehow married to a hot chick. Either way, his dance moves are worth watching the movie for alone. I gotta learn that "Makin' the pizza;" pure gold. This movie reminded me of why I like Will Smith; he hasn't been funny or cool in a while since he's been trying to be a real "actor." He's very much like Jim Carrey in this; sure, they can both do drama fairly well, but why? When they're on top of their game, nobody is funnier. Anyone can do drama, but like that old quote, "Dying is easy, comedy is hard." Oh yeah, the movie itself? I'll give it a 6.5/10. Eva Mendes, the female love interest to Hitch brings this movie down a couple points by herself...the main thing you'll have to suspend belief in is that Will Smith actually likes her.

"I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!"
--Tom Lehrer


Oooohhh...jus' like Sony! Toshiba guts inside.

"Japanese people are crazy," alright, but this is the best use for a water pistol I've ever seen. NSFW

This seems to defeat the whole point of video games ,which is being lazy.

Damn robots are taking all the cool jobs. It's only a matter of time before Skynet destroys us all.

If you needed any evidence that modern day sports stars are a bunch of pussies, here you go.

Hmmm...Jack spent a lot of time playing Street Fighter; I wonder if he learned any of these moves. Still, this guy gets knocked the pho-k out, so it's well worth the view.

This is a cool "Death Wish" vigilante story about a bastard getting turned into a hunka hunka burnin' love. They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, so when you mess with their children...

WOW! No, really, just WOW! If you're gonna do this, you shouldn't let people film you. This makes Leroy look cool by comparison.
(Hat tip: Uriel)

Jeez...suddenly, the annoyance of a speeding limit is put into perspective. I usually don't have to worry about getting killed if I drive to slowly.

So that's what happened to my missing package...Ummm...it was for research and stuff.

Jesus Christ is pretty cool and all, but I wouldn't describe him as a superhero. I mean, he's no Ghostrider or anything.

Hehe...according to this study, our friends down under are drinking less beer and more wine and liquor. Of course, less beer a night for an Aussie is called alcohol poisoning anywhere else.

In yet another blow to private businesses, those dirty jews show they control the world. Hehe, just kidding. That's what I get for reading the Democratic Underground again.

Hmmm...if this is what you get from living in Kansas, maybe Dorothy wasn't so bad off ending up in a land of lollipop midgets and flying monkeys.

See, this is why I don't like camping. You're basically a bag of chips for Yogi when he finds out you have no picnic basket.

I suppose that this is entirely inappropriate, but this principal is a total tease. I thought the new hotness for educators was personal and private sex education classes.

We are the world...we are the children...I know I'm supposed to be inspired by this film, but I can't help but be reminded by how much the rest of the world sucks.

Well, this survey shows Canadians are a bunch of gullible morons...but then, we already knew that, right?

Great...as though I needed another excuse to eat dark chocolate.

What a strange, strange link. Eh, enjoy.

Farkin' Links Vol. 98 6/27

I hope you all had a great weekend; mine involved a lot of driving. The most amazing thing about this weekend is the fact that our basketball team is somehow 5-0 and the first place team to beat. I'm not sure at what point we became good, but I'll ride with it. I think a lot of it is mental; even when the game is close now, we expect to pull it out and win. Just like the willow, we bend but do not break. A team on the other end of the spectrum would be Brian's team sitting at 1-4. Poor Brian; yesterday he started out having a poor game with a turnover leaping pass to no one and a layup that clanked off the rim which led to his first outburst with the refs. I turned to Newjen and told him,"Uh oh...I don't think B's gonna make it through this game." As if to reinforce my amazing psychic powers, moments later he goes for a steal and exchanges a Holyfield headbutt with an opposing player; unfortunately, he was Tyson in the incident. He busted his eyelid open and started to bleed all over the place. Now he gets to be in a wedding with a big ol' shiner like he attended a fight club the weekend before. Did his team rally and win, you ask? With this sort of luck, what do you think?

"So little time and so little to do."
--Oscar Levant


You could call it overreacting, but I say he's just taking Sean Connery's good advice from the Untouchables. "You wanna know how you do it? Here's how, they pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue." I bet they don't play anymore pranks on him anymore.

This is a pretty fun Batman flash game. At least as fun as this recent Batman movie.

...and here I thought that other stuffed animal guy was weird. Oh, well, I guess he was, but this is taking it a little too far.

Wow, that David Hasselhoff can do ANYTHING!

Crazy Australians and their beer.

Who knew Mario Bros. was totally metal? The guitarist, though? David Lee Roth called, he wants his hair back.

They will make a flash game out of anything...even pumping gas. Still, it's pretty fun; it reminds me of Burger Time.

Damn, I was just being facetious with that last link. I guess they really WILL make a flash game out of anything.

My dad's the one all into this Shroud of Turin business, but I just have to question the title of this article. They made something that's similar so that proves the Shroud is fake? No wonder nobody trusts the media anymore. They're logically challenged.

For those mad scientists out there(I guess only Ben, really) here are the top 10 ways to destroy the Earth. All you need is a lightbulb.

You gotta love this shirt...I know Bill Clinton certainly does.

O.K. I'm so pumped for this movie. Is Vince Vaughn just the funniest guy alive right now, or is it just me?

Is it just me, or shouldn't the whole kiddie rape charge be more important than the doggie rape? I mean, poor dog and all, but it's a damn dog.

Normally I'd be mocking another new reality TV show...but I'm tivo-ing this sucker. Why? Because it's my prerogative...

For the silly ebay auction of the day, we have a person who either has a weird fetish or knows absolutely nothing about selling.

Unless she was a stripper, I don't see a reason to be carrying money around in your bra. In her case, she must be one hell of a stripper.

That's pretty cool...these guys should be on Junkyard Wars.

For the "Japanese people are crazy" link...well, even for them this is pretty out there.

These emo hairdos are pretty damn bad...but even if they had normal haircuts they'd still be losers.

O.K...why the hell does Britney Spears need a baby registry? Is that goofball that she married really that expensive?

Farkin' Links Vol. 97 6/24

Friday is finally here. I had an interesting signing this morning, well, interesting for me, at least. I was cruising down Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. on my way to meet a man at his place of employment dodging racing cop cars with sirens blaring. Word of advice, if you're in any major city in the U.S. and you're on Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd at night, you're screwed. I knew King had a dream, but I don't think it was to have a street named after him in every crime addled and crack dealing neighborhood in the country. Anyways, I was counting down the numbers as usual,"1400, 1500, 1564. Cool. Hey...that's a police station." For a moment I was worried that I'd be signing with a guy in an orange jumpsuit passing papers between a glass wall, but then I remembered that it was this guy's place of employment; even if loans are being given out to anybody and their dog at this point, I'm pretty sure criminals don't list the police as their employers.

After walking into the station, I had to endure a cop doing a stand up routine to the enjoyment of another group of cops who obviously have a damaged sense of humor(Seriously, guy, don't quit your day job.) At least they weren't eating donuts, I suppose. After he declared he'd be there all week and they dispersed, I was finally assisted with the location of my guy, in the detective department. The man I was signing with was Detective Payne...quite the cool name I have to admit. I was a little disappointed that he wasn't a tall guy in a trenchcoat spouting third rate Chandleresque dialogue. Actually, he was a short black guy wearing a tan dress shirt and a hideous tie that I was tempted to tear off his neck and stomp on. Maybe that's part of his game. Instead of doing the signing at his desk, he leads me into the freakin' interrogation room! It's exactly how it looks in the movies; a small spartan room with a one way window/mirror, a scratched, faded wooden desk and two worn padded chairs. It's like a room out of time; it could be 2005 or 1905 in that place. Needless to say, I was feeling a little claustraphobic in there. It only got worse when I had to fingerprint this cop for my book. "Heh, this is a switch. Me getting fingerprinted in the police station?" Just as long as I wasn't getting fingerprinted, comedian. The one bonus of this trip is there was absolutely no way I could get mugged or shot in here...until I walked to my car.

"We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police."
--Jeff Marder


Hmmm...I guess the dolphins have competition for the ocean's most slutty creatures. Who knew Starbucks would take advantage of sex to sell coffee?

Oh my goodness...that's not good, is it? Drugs are bad, m'kay? Especially if you're thinking of taking it to Thailand. NSFW

That's a pretty cool guitar, although it would limit your rocking out and smashing it on the stage antics.

Looks like the American Film Institute has yet another top 100 list, this time with movie quotes. Too bad most of these movies are ones you've never seen. Sadly, no quotes from Army of Darkness.

For the "Japanese people are crazy" link for the day, we have new updated pillows for lonely men. Well, Cornershop said it best in their song Brimful of Asha, "Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow..."

I dunno about these urinals...they seem too nice to be peeing into. I just hope this exhibit doesn't let any homeless people in. I'm sure they have no problem testing them out.

Damn, marriage certainly sounds like lots of fun for this couple.

See? You don't need tv or videogames to entertain yourself. Just a couple of close friends and some dangerous wrestling moves is all you need for fun.

I'm not sure what he was expecting jumping down a cliff on a bike, but this is what is referred to as evolution in action.

Hehe...don't be hard on her, it was her first time. That, or the production values of Sweden are worse than your average high school in the States.

This game is kind of hard...but extremely bloody, so have fun killing goths. The dorks that dress up in black and listen to death metal, not the guys who sacked Rome.

Well, I guess that's one way to exorcise demons...although the whole death thing sort of defeats the purpose.

I think this soldier must have skipped that gun safety class...oh well, I bet he won't be making that mistake again, once he gets out of the hospital.

This is a fun game if you've seen way too many movies like I have. See how many you can guess correctly!

This is a neat site full of old advertisements from the 50's. People used to be easily impressed.

Yet another silly study by scientists...this one in likelihood to justify the fact that they can't get a date.

Hehe...this looks like what Uriel was doing on his last night in Cali. NSFW

O.K. Craig's list is a scary, scary place.

I know it's a joke and all, but this would be totally awesome. I think God really did love the world enough to give us Monster trucks.

This is a fun game, although I think I'm violating the first and second rules of Fight Club just showing you.

Farkin' Links Vol. 96 6/23

Today was Uriel's last day in the Southland before he heads off to Kentucky and ultimately Iraq for a year or so. Last night we ended up at one of those Vietnamese cafes, well at least I did after several signings that were not in the hood. No real amusing stories in these ones, other than the chick who kept talking about her broker named Napoleon. I jokingly asked her,"Is his last name Dynamite?" With a straight face she answered,"No...I think he's Greek." His name was probably even goofier than Dynamite. After the cafe we went and got some cheap Vietnamese food in Little Saigon that Newjen was insisting was better than the expensive restaurant up in San Francisco; I'll whole heartedly agree it was cheaper, but I would have rather eaten at McDonald's. The chicken I received was terrible as was the burned, crispy rice. I would tell you to avoid it, but I have no idea what the hell the name of it was. The conversation was fun, of course. What was really amusing was the dirty topics that were being discussed at the top of our voices(I'm not going into details) while we were sitting next to a family with 3 small kids. I sure hope they only spoke Vietnamese. Moody and I took off for home while the rest of them went out to cause some more trouble.

When I awoke this morning, there was a full group of people sitting in my living room playing Halo 2 with Jack passed out on the floor. I swear, it's like high school all over again. At least they weren't in the middle of a 4 hour game of RISK. Uriel, Dave and Newjen did learn an important lesson, though. People who used to actually be Army Ranger snipers are pretty good at a game that involves shooting each other. The fact that Brian, the sniper in question, tried to pretend he didn't know what was going on before they started has more to do with his poker bluff skills than false modesty. Good luck, Uriel. Stay safe.

"A witty saying proves nothing."
--Voltaire


I know I'm supposed to be impressed with the doggie here, but that guy must have some super aim for this scene to work.

Holy cow...as if I needed another reason to dislike Ben Affleck.

Hmmm...this sounds like one hell of a first impression.

So THAT'S where Beastmaster has wandered off to. Way to go, Dar.

This is an interesting flashback to WWII with everyone's favorite mass murderer, Uncle Joe Stalin. This clown got lucky there was someone to keep him from joining up with the Red Army, unless he really likes boiled beets for every meal for the next 40 years.

Oooohhh...black and white pictures of broken down Russian buildings...how...artsy.

Normally I'd denounce this sort of thing as Puritan and against freedom and democracy, but some women really should be thinking about wearing this instead of that bikini. Seriously, if you can't see your feet...think about it.

Great...with all the modern medicine, we're bringing back maggots. What's next? Bleeding leeches and enemas?

I hope Big Shot Bob was dissing those punk ass b*tches in Detroit...I hate those beer throwing 'tards almost as much as Philly fans. He was probably just picking his hernia off the floor, though.

I suppose this is healthier, but don't expect me or the world's chiropractors to be happy about it.

This was the dumbest flash movie I've ever seen...so of course I included it in today's links.

How can you improve on Rock, Paper, Scissors, the greatest game of all time? Why, add a gun, of course.

This is a pretty cool dictionary; it certainly helps when you can't spel coorectly.

I don't know who Dane Cook is, but this is a pretty good impersonation of Tom Cruise. Sadly, it's only half as crazy as the real Tom.

This isn't safe for work...this isn't safe for anyone. This is downright disturbing. Enjoy.

Damn Ninjas with their illegal moves...probably working for the government, too.

For the "Japanese people are crazy" link for the day, we have the government pissed they can't hunt endangered whales into extinction. Losers...why can't they just hunt dolphins like the rest of us?

Well, there you go. Straight from the horse's ass...I mean mouth. This will hopefully result in far more taser videos.

For the silly ebay auction of the day, we have a domain name for sale that sums up the feelings of NHL hockey fans everywhere...all 8 of them.

Wow...this guy needs a sedative. Sure, it's one hell of a dinette set, but still.

Farkin' Links Vol. 95 6/22

Damn hump day...it always seems too busy. I'd like to write more, but I'm just not going to today. Enjoy da links.

"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."
--George Bernard Shaw


So THAT'S what's going on with all the porn sites taking stuff down...uhhh...so I've heard I mean.

Talk about sick and wrong...who knew dolphins were such sluts?

Since I haven't put up a stupid Star Wars link in a while, I figure now is good. It's a faq on how to build your own lightsaber. No advice on how to keep living in your parents basement.

Uh oh...maybe I better change my name. Let's see...Joe Black? Tyler Durden? No, Rusty Ryan! That's a keeper.

Uh oh...this is even worse news. I better start doing some work before anybody notices. You too, you bunch of bored time wasters.

I didn't realize kid's egos these days are so fragile. Back in the day, we used to suck it up and take like a man...er...boy...whatever. Bunch of pussies, I say.

Damn...this really does look like something from John Carpenter's The Thing...keep him away from PETA, they'll probably try and kill it. (Hat tip: Azure)

I guess next time she should use Duracell...on second thought, maybe they should toss her ass in jail and throw away the key.

I don't want to shock any of you, but it appears that Bill Clinton is having an affair. Take a deep breath and try to remain calm...

This is kind of silly; if you're really an environmentalist, wouldn't you not want to waste wood on a coffin?

Wow...Barry White is alive and...whoa...I guess he had a good reason for pretending to be dead. (Hat tip: Vicky)

Damn, this may be the most frustrating game I've ever played. Enjoy.

War certainly is hell. I'm glad Amnesty International wasn't around during WWII or we never would have won. NSFW

Whoops...talk about a bad day. I don't know what the hell this artifact was, but it didn't have a chance in Shaky Mcfinger's paws.

This is a fun little snowboarding game you can play with your mouse. Avoid the obstacles so you don't end up like Marlon.

Holy cow! Homer Simpson is a genius! Not only is tomacco real, but it's fighting SARS!

For the silly ebay auction of the day, we have a piece of history, folks! Conspiracy theorists, only need apply.

Here's yet another soccer reference for Moody, just so he doesn't feel left out. Plus, it stars a cute baby...chicks did babies, right, Tony?

I'd like to have some of what Spin is smoking when they named OK Computer the best album of the past 20 years. It seems like just yesterday when they were getting booed at the WeenieRoast playing the new songs from that album.

This is why you should get out of the car when a cop asks you to. She sort of reminds me of that grape stomping lady; you really have to have sound for this clip to get the full effect.

Farkin' Links Vol. 94 6/21

I've finally watched Batman Begins this past weekend so I figured I'd put in my two cents with a little review. First off, it was much better than Batman and Robin, but so is getting your foot crushed by a moving car. This particular Batman has been getting rave reviews and I can only attribute that to the fact that the last one was so terrible. This one is a nice little popcorn movie that attempts a psychological analysis of why Batman is who he is, but it's nothing special.

I don't want to give off any spoilers, but, honestly, if you can't predict the "plot twists" on your own, you either haven't watched many movies or you're not allowed out in public without supervision. The last 2/3 of the movie is a by the numbers super hero action plot with no surprises and horribly directed action sequences. It should be hard to get bored of people getting beaten to a pulp and things going boom, but this movie managed to do it. The main problem seems to be that the director Christopher Nolan, who made one excellent movie, Memento, and one alright movie, Insomnia, doesn't know the first thing about directing an action sequence. The blurry confusing fights in darkened rooms was reminscent of the Bourne Supremecy by which I mean it gave me a headache. Seriously, invest in a tripod so we can tell what the hell is going on in a particular scene.

The performances were decent enough; Liam Neeson plays the wise man jedi who spouts idiotic new age psycho-babble perfectly as he should. I mean, he's been doing it every movie since the Phantom Menace. Christopher Bale is serviceable as is most of the cast. I think that's the problem; you have all these talented people like Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, hell, even the coolest killer replicant Rutger Hauer makes an appearance, but none of them is given much to do. While the beginning was a bit different for a Batman flick, the rest of it was same ol' same ol'. Oh no, madman set on destroying the city...been there, done that, already bought the dvd. I'm probably sounding as though I didn't enjoy the movie; I did, to a certain extent. It's just so lacking in anything substantive that just like Batman himself, the movie is already fading into the shadows of my mind. Although, I'm pretty sure he saved the city...oh darn, I just gave away the ending. For the attempt at something new in the beginning, I'll give it a 7/10, which I would say is generous.

"Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today."
--Herman Wouk


How Stuff Works shows us today how to pick locks. I wonder if next week's lesson is how to hotwire a car?

This belongs in that "With Friends like these, who needs enemies" category. Ouch. What a bastard.

McDonald's is going to be selling bikes and skateboards to encourage kids to quit getting fat by eating Big Macs. If they're as small and poorly made as their food, I smell a lawsuit.

If we can afford to pay for PBS and pork barrel products, we can definitely pay for a super laser, dammit!

Damn...people talk about bold magazines with sex and violence today, check out the stuff from the past! NSFW

Too bad I didn't have this link in time for father's day...although the visions of it being put to use probably far outweigh the benefit.

I guess one of the other side effects from joining Scientology, other than insanity, is a lack of sense of humor.

Hell ya! Teddy Ruxpin is back and digitized! I wonder if this means that weird worm friend of his is coming back as well...that thing used to scare me.

That's just sad...although this kid looks far too happy about it. NSFW

I guess your first instinct is to run away when a big black man starts charging you, but I expect more from the Japanese...don't they know judo and stuff?

Speaking of "Japanese people being crazy," why on Earth would they keep sports records on 90 year old men? I thought all the aged kung fu masters were in China?

I'm not even going to comment on this grusome story; I'm just going to let you check it out.

Damn...Leroy would be ashamed of these people. World of Warcraft is not supposed to actually kill anyone.

If you ever wondered what clubbing in the 70's was like, here's an interesting pictoral. It seems there was a lot more sex, nudity, and body hair. NSFW

Whoa...surely this guy can get a better job than this! I wonder if he leaks water like a cartoon character who gets shot.

That's one hell of a tree house. I'd be jealous, except for the fact that my place has plumbing.

Talk about the wheels of justice moving slowly. I hope our system is a little better...but probably not.

This is a fun little breakdancing game...although I'll be damned if your character is a boy or a girl.

Not even Chuck E. Cheese is safe anymore. Funny, I would have figured one of those annoying costumed fellas would have gotten the beat down.

...and one more side scroller for the heck of it.

Farkin' Links. Vol. 93 6/20

Joan had her bbq this Saturday in celebration for Uriel's last weekend here in the Southland before he goes off to defend our country in Iraq and most likely play many many video games. There's not much to do over there; I don't think they have much of a nightlife unless it involves car bombs. I brought Tristan along in hopes that he would play some Taboo as Joan needed to be taken down. She'd dominated too long and we needed to see her challenged for the title. I was not disappointed.

Well, technically, I was somewhat saddened; Joan went down in ignoble defeat several times that day. In fact, I don't think she won a round. There she was, just flailing about with terrible partners(including myself) and never really showed her skills. She was reminiscent of Mike Tyson getting knocked out by the chump of the week after such a long period of dominance. At least she didn't try and bite Tristan's ear off...although that would have been pretty cool. Just an example of how off the match-ups were, she had Chris as her partner one round where he used questionable clues. The first was the word "Bang", so Chris throws out,"O.K. You would gang-"blank" a woman." I'm pretty sure Joan doesn't watch porn, so I don't know what the hell Chris was thinking. Suprisingly, it got worse. Somehow, Chris went with the word "Blow" by giving this clue,"You would give a "blank" job to a guy. On his penis." I'm not sure what was funnier, that clue or the fact that Joan's first thought was "Hand." Either way, Chris followed up that "Blow" clue with the next word, "Mouthwash," and continued his silly sexual innuendo. "After you finish up the job, you would go into the bathroom to use this in your mouth." You gotta give him credit; he took that one and ran with it. As the Quotable Dave would say, "Good times, good times."

"It is not necessary to understand things in order to argue about them."
--Pierre Beaumarchais


OK, I need one of these toys right now. Seriously...right now.

MOVE B*TCH, GET OUT DA WAY! GET OUT DA WAY B*TCH, GET OUT DA WAY!

Hehe...this is pretty funny. Human cannonballer fired for being afraid of flying...in an airplane. Not that I blame him after my horrific flight back from South Carolina...I think I'll elect to be shot out of a cannon next time.

I'm happy to see South Koreans protesting against oppressive governments and all, but don't they have a guy a little closer they could be concerned with? You know, he was in Team America and he has a pompadour...and he's murdered millions of people. Just a though. (Hat tip: Moody)

I'm not sure I approve of all this violence against boys, but this game is pretty fun. I love throwing rocks.

These are some really cool photos...they make me want to go on vacation again.

Usually, the voice in my head says "have another cookie," not "slam a nail in my head."

So THAT'S what Darth Vader looks like without his mask. This makes the whole move to the Yankess make much more sense.

In this silly ebay auction of the day, we're about to find out just how much this guy's dignity is worth. I'm guessing not much more than 50 bucks.

There are some seriously frightening people out there...but at least they're good for a laugh.

Ummmm...speaking of seriously frightening people...I still can't help but be jealous of these corpses. They're totally getting more action than I am.

I'm not sure what's funnier; the fart this anchorwoman lets out or trying to decipher what the hell is coming out of her mouth. Is she the Swedish Chef's sister or what?

Let's hear it for free speech and offensive t-shirts; T-shirt hell has brought back it's Worse than hell section. "Dave Chapelle went back to Africa--One Down." Ouch.

This is a fun little shooter where you just run around and blow things up. Not that I'd be wasting precious work time doing this...it's a little loud.

"Japanese people are crazy," but they sure do some really cool things with paper.

Well, that settles it for me. Obviously smoking is good for you. A giant cigarette monoply owned by one of the most repressive and evil governments in the world wouldn't like, right?

One great result of our terrible school system is people attempting to express their views in insurance claims.

It might not be in the cards to own a gold plated toilet seat, baby, but I'll settle for this Gothic Commode seat.

Hehe...Ghosts and Goblins was the greatest game back in the day. Fake knife fights in parking lots usually get you in trouble though...I mean, back in high school...you know, forget about it.

I told all of you that PETA was murdering animals for the hell of it, but nobody believed me. Now, their reign of terror is exposed!

There's nothing quite like playing some drunken basketball at a dark court late on a Saturday night. It started as these things usually do; Newjen and B were talking smack back and forth about...well, it's not really important. Either way, it ended in a challenge. One on one, 1s and 3s to give Newjen a fighting chance since he couldn't drive to the hole on a midget paraplegic team. For some reason, Dave and Moody decided that we were rappers that weekend and had come back with several 40s which made everyone gung ho to see this particular game come to fruition. After we instigated several more taunts, they were both ready to go.

Twenty minutes later, we were all standing on a darkened court ready to watch this battle of the mouths. As you'd expect, after all the words exchanged, the actual game was a let down. Tony never had a chance since he couldn't hit a shot to save his life. The final score was a B victory of 958 to 3...or something like that. I may have exaggerated, but it seemed that bad. Either way, since we were all there, we decided to have a 2 on 2 match up; it should have been 3 on 3 but Moody and Dave both declined due to poor ability or something. The teams ended up being B and Newjen against Uriel and myself. Uriel and I came out a bit rusty; we had the height but really couldn't effectively guard either of those guys in the light, let alone on a darkened shadowy court. In the middle of the first game, B had to take a break due to cramps, I'm guessing it was that time of the month. I was tempted to make a Vince Carter joke, but I was sucking air; playing on a stomach full of Mickey's malt liquor is not recommended. Moody stepped in and claiming lack of skills and such, knocks down a 3 pointer bank which put them back up by one. This was the time B decides he's recovered and stepped back in. Dave and Moody decided they didn't need to see who won, so they took off before the final shot. Had Newjen been able to knock down a shot, any shot, they may have won it. Fortunately for Uriel and I, he was a damn loser.

We had one more game which had the exact same result; Newjen stinking it up and Uriel and I walking away with a victory. It was a nice flashback for me; Uriel and I were playing just like we used to at Rowland park with the inside/outside game. Uriel posts up and draws a double team, I knock down a 15 footer. Uriel posts up and doesn't draw a double team and takes his man to the hole. Either way, neither B nor Newjen had an answer for it and became progressively more frustrated. I believe several "Shit" and "Fuck" exclamations were spoken, or shouted. When all was said and done, Newjen came back to my place a total loser.

Usually Newjen will start making excuses about his back or some such nonsense, but this time the ass whuppin' was so complete and his lack of clutch so absent that he was just mad at himself. He decided to take off to the campsite where his youth group was staying to bring them propane or some other excuse. Moody heard this and mockingly declare,"Newjen! Where you going? You don't have to run away...if you need to have a good cry you can use the other room. We'll give you a half hour; you don't have to sit in your car and pout." Poor Tony. He had some choice words for Moody on his way out, but he vowed he'd be back again. I can't wait. Next time, I'll pass on the beer, though.

Farkin' Links Vol. 92 6/17

TGIFriday and all that. Uriel was in the office the other day and dropped off several pages to this comic book we were making several years ago which really brought back some memories. The comic had started in a way to make Uriel look less than competent, but they evolved into a space adventure in which he and his loyal band of cohorts fought off various aliens and miscellaneous miscreants around the galaxy. It was fun writing and drawing as well as giving us something to argue over every morning.

Anyways, Uriel's sidekick in the comic was a coworker named Cindy who, as Smashmouth once succinctly put it, was not the sharpest tool in the shed. In fact, she was such a big fan of that Sailor Moon cartoon that we jokingly called her Sailor Cindy which she took as a compliment. We had been getting Bazooka Joe gum at the time which is wrapped in these terrible elbow slapping comic strips that even 8 year olds would think was beneath their dignity. Of course, we took great delight in reading them to each other every day and I became inspired to draw my own terrible Bazooka Joe comic. It was a take off of stupid lawyer quotes where the character Sailor Cindy from the comic posing as a lawyer is interviewing a witness with the following exchange.

"So, what did he say then?"
"He said, 'You've seen my face, so now I have to kill you.'"
"So...did he kill you?"

I remember finishing it, giving it to Uriel to read, then him shaking his head with a rueful smile on his face saying,"Yep. That was a Bazooka Joe comic. Just terrible." He passed this comic to Sailor Cindy and she read it, read it again, then finally looked up and plainly stated,"I don't get it." Uriel and I were aghast; we attempted to explain it to her for the next ten minutes then finally declared it a lost cause. Later in the day at lunch, we're sitting in the back room when suddenly she breaks out into laughter. "Oooohhhh...I get it! That's pretty funny! Did Adam write that all by himself?" Never had I seen a brain move in slow motion like that before. Anyways, thanks for bringing back the comic and the memories, Uriel.

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool."
--Richard Feynman


In the immortal words of Marv Albert," YEEESSS!!!" I think this girl totally deserved to win Miss Universe. NSFW

Damn...I guess the lesson of this commercial is "Never help anyone."

This Brazilian Star Wars movie sounds almost as good as Attack of the Clones...but not quite up to Star Wars Holiday Special quality.

Speaking of Star Wars(yes, I know, I won't let it go)this is an extremely persuasive article showing how, in fact, the Empire were the victims and "good guys" in this battle with the evil Rebellion. Seriously...would you ever trust a Jedi? They can control your mind, man!

This is just too bad, but I can see why you wouldn't want someone with a perpetual frown hawking your wares. Maybe she could have made up with extra flair.

In this "Japanese people are crazy" link, feel the plight of the unemployed Yakuza. I guess that tech bubble bursting wasn't good for organized crime, either.

I've been neglectful of these updates; Old people will pho-ck you up...or totally humiliate you in a newstory.

Wow...maybe the Russians should start using metal detectors in their courts to keep people from bringing in knives or guns...or grenades!

Well, that's helpful. Maybe I can make myself a piece of toast with the haunting image of Abraham Lincoln now.

Ooooohhh...I hope he has dental coverage.

Maybe not everybody in Florida is completely retarded. I like this idea for paying parking meters.

Just goes to show you can buy or sell anything on the internet...even friends.

This Hooters waitress is obviously not a Star Wars fan. Still, she did get her toy-yoda.

This reminds me of riding around in Vietnam on a cyclo...and it's probably safer, too.

Maybe I'm getting desensitized to evil in the world, but the strangest news in this story to me is the fact that there is a cult that worships Tupac Shakur. I mean, Poetic Justice was alright, but this is a little excessive.

Maybe I'm not completely desensitized, because this story is just sick and wrong. Fetus, the other other white meat.

Huh...what a coincidence...I was just watching this clip last night on Jack's computer. The octagon is a dangerous place.

Why are these weird sexual crimes always going on in Germany? It's probably their abnormal pornography that does it.

I'm so sad I missed out on the silly ebay auction of the day...this mystery box is full of cultural gold!

I'm...I'm speechless. Wow.

Farkin' Links Vol. 91 6/16

I just have a question of the day for everybody. Would you call 22 victories in a row lucky, or would you consider that sort of dominance based more on skill?

"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff."
--Frank Zappa
Hehe...word.


I keep waiting for this Darth Vader quote to annoy me, but it just hasn't happened yet. Besides, this is a good excuse to watch Padme shake her money maker.

Ouch...and ouch again. This is one painful compilation.

Let's do one more, eh? I love the smell of blood in the morning...

I always thought Epcot Center would just bore you to death...this must be one hell of a ride.

You wanna tell me again how techno qualifies as actual music?

This clip almost gets you excited...then you realize it's just a soccer game.

Why can't we have nice commercials like this in America? Oh, right...the nudity. NSFW

If you ever find yourself living in a trailer park and need an air conditioner...can't get much better than this.

I guess the crazies are running the asylum again in New York. Giuliani would never have allowed this crap.

This is a totally stupid link...don't go here.

I dunno about you, but jumping a volcano doesn't seem good for your health.

That's a lot of ways to lace up your shoes. Probably more than there are uses for crazy glue.

In the "Japanese people are crazy" link, we have a life-like robot to do newscasting...which is different from the current automatons that currently give us the weather how?

In case you thought the obsession with sex is a new thing, well, history would disagree.

Cool! That crazy penguin swatting Yeti is back again!

Wow...that Yeti has been a busy beaver lately. Here's yet another penguin abusing game.

These guys definitely need a new hobby.

Hello Kitty has more crap than Barbie.

I don't think this girl passed her vocabulary test...at least I hope not.

Farkin' Links Vol. 90 6/15

Happy Hump Day! Hopefully this day rolls along nice and quick. An interesting coincidence happened last night in a game of Taboo last night that I thought fits in nicely with these recent links. Newjen and Uriel were taking on Kim and Jack in a battle for supremecy and as practice to take on the queen of all word games, Joan. Newjen's team had basically locked it up with 19 points whereas Kim and Jack needed to come up with 5 to take the victory. As the time ran down, Jack had only managed to get 3 right. As Kim turned over the next clue, Darth Vader, time ran down on their victory hopes. All that echoed through the condo was a death scream of "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" This Darth Vader quote is just the gift that keeps on giving.

"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday."
--Don Marquis


Wow...origami AND Yoda? Better than this does it get? Mmmmm....

Hehe, just one more Star Wars link. What's that? Noooooooo, you say? Too bad. Only a Sith deals in Absolut.

This guy puts the Bee Gees to shame with his falsetto...well, something to shame, anyways.

I've played this game before; it's actually more fun than Jenga.

I had no idea that the Aquabats had fallen on such hard times. Still, pizza delivery is a noble job and the best one Jack ever had.

I guess this is a "Japanese pets are crazy" link for today; I especially like these words of wisdom,"If you have a cat, or a dog for that matter, be careful where they urinate." (Hat tip: Azure)

This is a pretty funny picture of my favorite NBA psycho, Ron "Melee" Artest showing his support for WNBA player Holdsclaw. I suppose since he was suspended for the season, he's trying to cut back on expenses, but seriously, how much could a WNBA jersey cost? Don't they give those away with anyone dumb enough to buy a ticket? (Hat tip: Jon)

I suppose the lesson is to not piss off any Asian grocers...still, this guy fights like a girl. I thought all you Orientals knew kung fu?

Unless you're trying out for a porno, this doesn't seem to be the best way to attend a job interview.

This new type of tv looks about as practical as those vague looking Star Wars holograms that flicker. I think I'll stick with a plasma TV.

I wonder if this is how firefighters stay gainfully employed? You know, maybe when they get bored.

If you're looking for the perfect gift for a loved one, this ain't the place. Still, it's pretty damn funny.

Here's a bunch of crazy fun mini games for the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. If you like Warioware, you'll dig this.

WOW! That's all I can say about this video about the most realistic Zombie game of all time. Even if it's staged, this guy got the ride of his life!

Paris Hilton is retiring in 2 years...I suppose the question is, retiring from what?

These are the type of murals that Wily E. Coyote hates.

This may be the coolest time waster ever. My office mates are going to kill me after about two hours of this.

Nooooooo! They busted Big Worm! Playin' with his money is like playing with his emotions, man!

Cool...Zack, the Lego Maniac has nothing on these guys.

For the silly ebay auction of the day...I'm tempted to give them money never to do anything this scary with photoshop ever again.

Farkin' Links Vol. 89 6/14

Last night I did a disastrous signing, but this time it wasn't in the hood. It was actually in a great neighborhood full of million dollar homes and minor celebrities. The woman doing the signing turned out to be the sister-in-law to this comedian who has his own TV show on ABC called Rodney. Uriel insists he's heard of this guy, but hasn't heard of this show; it does look like a spoof show you'd see on Seinfeld, like that movie Sack Lunch. I certainly didn't recognize him and he didn't seem to take offense; he didn't even bring up what he did. Of course, if my show looked like that, I probably wouldn't either.

I forgot to mention that I watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith the other night. The basic plot is about a married couple who are both assassins for super secret organizations, have hidden it from each other since their marriage and have to eliminate each other once their secret is blown. It's a strange hybrid of a movie; it seemed that the writer wanted it to be a subtle, suspensful black comedy much like the original version whereas the the studio decided they needed crap "blowed up" and people shot or stabbed every 20 minutes or so. Too slow to be an action movie, yet too filled with mindless violence to be called clever in any way, it's basically a Frankenstein's monster that only a committee could have stitched with every Hollywood cliche that is held together only by the star power and chemistry of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. I have to admit, I really enjoyed both of their performances; I always thought of both of them as good supporting actors but not really strong enough to carry a movie. Still, this epic failure manages to be fun and entertaining for a couple of hours, although I've already forgotten most everything that happened. I'll give it a 5.5/10, with an extra .5 for Vince Vaughn. When they let him, he's one of the funniest men in movies today.

"Never judge a book by its movie."
--J. W. Eagan


This is just...sick and wrong. Still, I'm sure it reminds Vicky of a usual Saturday night, right?

You'd think I would get sick of seeing people smoke themselves on off roading vehicles...but you'd be wrong.

People like Mahir are why I really enjoyed my trip to Turkey..."Who is want to come TURKEY I can invitate ....."

I'd make fun of people in the 17th and 18th century for playing with dolls, but it's not like they had t.v. to waste their time.

Hey Ben Wu...I have a project for you. I want a Zoolander phone!

This is the first case I've ever heard of a cow going people tipping. I guess they just don't see the irony of it in Nigeria.

I think this blog might just be a cry for help.

Hey...that's pretty cool. Google really does know everything! Including where in the world Carmen Sandiego is!

Hoooooookaaaay....here we have a weightless spooky tootsie roll for our silly ebay auction of the day. This person put a lot of effort into this nonsensical story, so read it.

I wonder if Karl Malone will be advertising for this site now that he gave up on Rogaine?

Hmmm...this is a perfect reason never to marry a person obsessed with Star Wars.

This is a fun little shooter...pretend you're Clint Eastwood, the cool one from the westerns, not the old guy with rouge making crappy dramas like Mystic River.

Wow...I dunno about posting on the internet for all to see is what I'd do if I wet my pants.

This may be the creepiest doll company I've ever seen. If I had one of these as a kid, I would have buried it in the backyard.

Joe Doh is a formidable opponent. Tread with care...but he's good practice if you're going to join that Rock, Paper, Scissors championship this year.

This story gives me much confidence in the Indian law enforcement department. I can't wait to go and give a police officer an atomic wedgie.

For the "Japanese people are crazy" link of the day, we have a train groping scam which netted 100 million yen. Only in Japan. I hope Alex didn't pay too much to make this go away.

I GOT A BROTHER!?!

Ooohhh...how to extract DNA? Mr. Wizard would be proud.

...and I thought ebay had the strangest auctions.

Farkin' Links Vol. 88 6/13

Guess who's back? I know you all missed my delightful email every work day, so I'm happy to let you know I'm going to begin my reign of spam terror yet again. I spent half of last week in Charleston, North Carolina which was rather interesting. People actually walk up to you and say hello...it was quite disconcerting, really. Women talk like cartoon characters in a higher pitch which is usually only accomplished by huffing on helium. All in all, a very unique experience; South Carolina has a long history, much older than even the United States and they have a habit of being radicals. They were the first state to declare independence from England, they were the first state to declare independence from the Union and they were the first to fire a weapon in the Civil war on their attack of Fort Sumter. You wouldn't think it from the politeness you're greeted with on every street corner.

I hope you all enjoyed your weekend; I decided to add a new link at the bottom of this email as several people have bothered me about previous links. I've been keeping a blog for a while where I post each day's links as an archive, so I'll just let you go ahead and use it. Feel free to drop a comment or two if you'd like.

"I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!"
--Tom Lehrer


I'm not sure if this is the coolest mom of all time or the stupidest mom of all time. Actually, since no alcohol is involved, we'll have to go with stupid.

Study finds that 40 percent of French men would like to get pregnant if science permitted which would really help out their dying birth rates. Study also finds that 100 percent of French men are cheese eating surrender monkeys.

Didn't that show Jackass already do this? Still, I guess she's like the modern day Rosa Parks of bathroom discrimination. A piece of advice Salvation Army; if someone is shopping at your store, they already most likely do their business on the sidewalk.

Hmmm..."Japanese people are crazy" link is a touching Kapraesque story of the mugger who has his heart changed but still gets arrested. This is why they have no crime over there; they're too polite.

I'm not sure what's more strange about this story; the fact that someone actually paid Steven Seagal to make two movies, or that they had a potential budget of 14 million. Direct to video must be getting more expensive.

This is a pretty cool page full of music video downloads. If only MTV was still on, I wouldn't have to watch videos this way.

When people told this guy he needs a hobby, I'm pretty sure this isn't what they meant.

Speaking of people with strange hobbies, I like Mario Bros. as much as the next guy, but this is just silly...plus the boxes are way to high for me to jump and punch.

If you want to mess with the kids in your neighborhood, be sure to download these ice cream truck songs and drive around with the sound cranked up.

Wow! This guy has some strong arms!

After her soft porn Carl's Jr. Commercial, Paris just decided, "Screw it, I'm in Europe, let's just flash the headlights." The link is safe, but the video on the site is NSFW.

Hehe...I guess this can be put into the category, "...but what about all the good things Hitler did?"

Well, if people can advertise on their forhead, why not giant turtles? I give you the silly ebay auction of the day.

Oh wow...this is just sick and wrong.

Hehe...Triumph the Dog at the Jackson Trial...'nuff said.

Damn those wacked out Scientologists...free Katie!

...and you thought your job was bad. Actually, my job is great...but these ones suck. NSFW

I guess this is for the poseurs with the 2 wheel drive SUVs. Seriously...why the hell do you get an SUV with 2 wheel drive?

This girl's pretty amazing, but the things they can do in Thailand would blow her away...uhhh...so I hear, anyways.

The humiliation of the greatest movie villain of all time continues. Would you like to buy a vowel? NOOOOOOO!

Farkin' Links Vol. 87 6/3

Last night I attended a play with Moody and Uriel titled "A Long Bridge Over Deep Waters" at the Ford amphitheatre. Moody was trying to support his younger brother who had a part within the show but he didn't want to go alone so we volunteered to come along. All we knew about the show was this, so we really weren't sure what to expect. Other than a Bill Clinton speech, I doubt I've ever read so many words saying absolutely nothing. The show, while uneven and extremely confusing to start with, ended up being rather entertaining. It was a series of scenes with various characters interacting with each other much like that great movie Crash, only religion was the topic of the day as opposed to race. It was no Crash, but it managed to not be too heavy handed and used humor to lighten up even the more darker subjects. My only problem was that it didn't say anything new or daring, so it was rather pedestrian for a supposed controversial show. I'll give it a 6/10. Hey, at least it was better than Val Kilmer as Moses in the Ten Commandments. Oh yeah, I'll be gone next week, so you'll have to fend for yourself for time wasters. Later.

"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
--Mark Twain


What a wonderful page chock full of wisdom from the funniest man in basketball, Charles Barkley.

Hehe...what did the four knuckles say to the face? Bam!

For the "Japanese people are crazy" link today, we have just one Japanese dude who has WAAAY too much time on his hands. At least he gets to be in the World Records.

Damn...I hope South Carolina isn't anything like North Carolina, but either way, I'll try and not steal any TVs.

Alright! Dukes of Hazzard goes global, baby!

Hmmm...in California, you go to jail for selling pot. Maybe they're just trying to cut down on the competition for Oregon...I hope we're getting a cut.

Did I already say "Japanese people are crazy"? Well, so are their dogs. He's probably just happy he's not in Vietnam and on the dinner menu.

Uh oh, Austria! Mexico is angry with you! Seriously though, what are they gonna do? Send countless illegal immigrants into Europe to bankrupt their welfare state?

Holy crap! If I ever turn to a life of crime, I'm definitely doing it in England!

I bet this trophy was made in China.

Everybody has to have a hobby, I suppose, but if he tried this crap here, he'd be screaming for a whole other reason.

Whew...I'm just glad none of my pictures made this page. I'm gonna have to be careful from now on.

Hehe...the Darth Vader mockery continues...Nooooooooo!!!!

From the looks of this guy, I'm not surprised he has a lot of time on his hands to practice boomerang tricks...still, it's pretty cool William Tell impersonation.

For the silly ebay auction of the day, well, I don't think the Tooth Fairy would have left this guy any money.

Awwwww....isn't that touching.

Wow...this cat needs to lay off the lasagna.

I know, I know, you're all sick of Star Wars links, but this one is the last...until I find another one, that is. Seriously, though, this is one cool computer.

I don't understand how the 49ers are one of the worst teams in the league when they have great training videos like this.

...and since everybody seemed to love that Numa, Numa fat boy so much, it looks like there's a new dork in town. We need a lip-synch showdown!

Since I won't be here next week, I should include this game now. It has everything you need, lasers and cute monsters you blast into bloody stumps. (Hat tip: Tristan)