Farkin' Links Vol. 10 1/5
Did anybody watch that USC/Oklahoma championship game last night? Wow, that was like watching the Varsity team play some elementary school kids...or the San Francisco 49ers play a real NFL team. I thought I felt foolish when I had to change my tire yesterday wearing nice clothes on the wet ground...but if I was on Oklahoma I would have slipped out of my uniform and tried to blend into the crowd. Oh, right, here are the links.
This is interesting...sometimes I wish I had a remote control for my brain...so I could fast forward all the crappy parts and just relive all the good stuff...over and over...
Get your tin-foil hat ready for a tale of Nazis, UFO's and Pinochet! 12 to 7 they make either a video game or a movie about this. Actually, if that Resident Evil guy gets involved, make it both.
Just in case you ever get blown out of a plane at 15,000 feet, you might want to keep this wise advice in mind. Of course, you'll be too busy crapping your pants and screaming for mommy, but it's worth a shot.
I could play Mary Had A Little Lamb on the piano when I was 4 years old...so this little kid basically blows me out of the water.
Anti-Bullying wristbands have turned the wearers into big fat targets for bullies. Ooooh...the irony. Actually, the stupidity of the idea is far more amazing.
If you thought tests were tough back in school...thank the lord you didn't go to King William's College.
So a child's game had a little cursing...I don't see what the big fucking deal is.
Here's a very interesting fortune telling link. I gotta say, it told my fortune to a tee.
I know I take cheap shots at soccer players about being a bunch of cry baby pussies and actors...well, this is why.
Wow...this white boy can DUNK!
This game controlling a fireball is far harder than it needs to be. I'm just frustrated...and if I had any work to do, I'd so stop playing it.
...and one more silly game. At least you get to be Daffy Duck in this one. No doubt they'll be sued for this.
Holy Crap! That's just...sick and wrong! Although, I would like to breathe easier...I wonder if it works...
There are tons of good shirts on this site...I think my favorite is South Korea's got Seoul.
Have you ever fought anybody for a parking space? I'm not judging you or anything...freak. I mean, just walk the extra 20 feet.
What's wrong with the "Breast Christmas Ever?" I think those lesbians in NOW are just jealous.
This isn't how I remember it when I shot that homeless man for kicks...er...I mean, so I've heard from other people.
I know you're not supposed to beat up Burger King employees...as it's "against the law" and everything...but who the hell ever heard of a fast food joint running out of fries? I'd probably riot too.
Hehe...that's pretty funny. A woman was fired for not wearing enough makeup...she must have really needed it if it went to that extreme.
...and just so you don't think only Japanese people are crazy, this guy just sold a cup of water for 455 dollars on ebay.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
"Aside from his scintilla of candor, Mr. Bush is still not leveling with us. As he said at his press conference on Monday, 'the enemies of freedom' know that 'a democratic Iraq will be a decisive blow to their ambitions because free people will never choose to live in tyranny.' They may choose to live in a theocracy, though. Americans did."
-- Maureen Dowd
Lovely...I can't for the life of me think why she's still single.
Like I entered before, I'm going to try and post more often so this is as good a time as any. I had a signing today with this asian guy who's married to this white woman. He was funny because he had one of those well rehearsed voices with no visible accent that almost sounds like a stage voice...kind of like Captain Sulu on Star Trek. She was some bitter old bitch that I couldn't imagine being married to...I guess he just has a lot of patience. Marriage surely is a dangerous pastime.
I'm currently watching USC whoop the crap out of Oklahoma for the NCAA football championship right now and it's pretty damn entertaining. There's something fun about a serious ass whippin' where the other team doesn't even have a chance and looks totally outmatched. You can see the shell shocked looks in their expressions, the quarterback always looks like a spooked foal ready to run for his life...good stuff. I don't have a dog in this fight, but my dad's a big USC fan due to him attending USC for...oh, maybe a year. This is why I usually root against them, but only when he's in the same room. Ooooooklahoma, is the team that's getting it's butt kicked...
-- Maureen Dowd
Lovely...I can't for the life of me think why she's still single.
Like I entered before, I'm going to try and post more often so this is as good a time as any. I had a signing today with this asian guy who's married to this white woman. He was funny because he had one of those well rehearsed voices with no visible accent that almost sounds like a stage voice...kind of like Captain Sulu on Star Trek. She was some bitter old bitch that I couldn't imagine being married to...I guess he just has a lot of patience. Marriage surely is a dangerous pastime.
I'm currently watching USC whoop the crap out of Oklahoma for the NCAA football championship right now and it's pretty damn entertaining. There's something fun about a serious ass whippin' where the other team doesn't even have a chance and looks totally outmatched. You can see the shell shocked looks in their expressions, the quarterback always looks like a spooked foal ready to run for his life...good stuff. I don't have a dog in this fight, but my dad's a big USC fan due to him attending USC for...oh, maybe a year. This is why I usually root against them, but only when he's in the same room. Ooooooklahoma, is the team that's getting it's butt kicked...
Farkin' Links Vol. 9 1/4
I usually expect fools from the U.N. like Jan Egelend to criticize the U.S., but the nonsense is now coming out of our own papers. Howard Kurtz writes today in the Washington Post, "Like it or not, Bush fostered the impression that he was painfully slow to react to the post-Christmas disaster while at the ranch. Three full days with no appearance before the cameras? What else did he have to do that was more important?" Hey Howie...how about a nice big cup of shut the fuck up. The election is over, we'll probably raise far more money privately than through the incompetent government of ours and we have all the transports at our disposal over there helping. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. Mr. Kurtz, stop being part of the fucking problem. Sorry about that, I needed to rant today. Here's the happy-go-lucky links of the day.
I think South Africa is a little ahead of these car anti-theft systems with their flame throwers, but I'd use them.
Just in case you ever end up in a Russian prison and want to understand the tattoo culture...hey, you never know.
Did you ever wonder where the the phrase "fuckin' A" came from? Yeah, me neither. But hey, somebody wrote a piece on it anyways.
I guess the defnition of finger foods is different in Africa. I'll have to keep that in mind when I got to Zimbabwe. Well, keep that and a gun.
I guess these pillows beat the fake women's lap, but not by much. Why would you want to sleep on a piece of sushi?
This is a fun page full of all the nitpicking you can think of for movies. I certainly didn't notice Spiderman's mask changing.
Here's 100 things you didn't know last year...or weren't likely to care. I mean, is the fact that Brazilians are the nationality most likely to read spam really that necessary to know?
This is a pretty helpful eye chart for guys. Just keep in mind how true the beer section is.
Alright...one of the classic Fox Sports commercials! I'd give this dive an 8...damn Russians.
Wow...never bring a crybaby to a pillowfight. This is just...sad.
Here is a list of the wackiest police calls of last year. My personal favorite,"Oct. 15, 9:08 p.m.: A man violated a restraining order, entered a house in the 1000 block of Laurel Avenue, took a parrot and threatened to kill it." That parrot must have been laughing at him.
This story is just disturbing. Who wouldn't be mentally unstable after spending several weeks with decomposing bodies.
Yet another retrospective on weird stories in 2004. My personal favorite is the one about T I Double GG Er. I'm sure it was all a big misunderstanding...Tigger wouldn't do something like that.
Girls sure dress differently from when I was in High school. I blame Britney Spears. Thank you, Britney!
Well, it looks like they went ahead and did it, despite all logic and sense telling them no. Meet the new Los Angeles Angels! Who play in Orange County. Yeah, that's just great.
Gee...maybe Jack should have gone to college in the Ukraine. He definitely would have graduated in 10 years.
Hehe...if you're tired of Monopoly (and let's face it, who isn't? Even if you slap Star Wars or Star Whores onto it) check out these board games.
Here's a page where a man eats some almost food and gives you a review on it. It still has nothing on some of the crap I've seen eaten at Chinese restaurants, but it's still pretty entertaining.
This is very involved for a flash game...plus you get to shoot things. I'm sold.
...and to round out 2004, here's just one more weird stories of last year link. Makes you wonder about what happened to the chickens you eat, huh?
I usually expect fools from the U.N. like Jan Egelend to criticize the U.S., but the nonsense is now coming out of our own papers. Howard Kurtz writes today in the Washington Post, "Like it or not, Bush fostered the impression that he was painfully slow to react to the post-Christmas disaster while at the ranch. Three full days with no appearance before the cameras? What else did he have to do that was more important?" Hey Howie...how about a nice big cup of shut the fuck up. The election is over, we'll probably raise far more money privately than through the incompetent government of ours and we have all the transports at our disposal over there helping. If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. Mr. Kurtz, stop being part of the fucking problem. Sorry about that, I needed to rant today. Here's the happy-go-lucky links of the day.
I think South Africa is a little ahead of these car anti-theft systems with their flame throwers, but I'd use them.
Just in case you ever end up in a Russian prison and want to understand the tattoo culture...hey, you never know.
Did you ever wonder where the the phrase "fuckin' A" came from? Yeah, me neither. But hey, somebody wrote a piece on it anyways.
I guess the defnition of finger foods is different in Africa. I'll have to keep that in mind when I got to Zimbabwe. Well, keep that and a gun.
I guess these pillows beat the fake women's lap, but not by much. Why would you want to sleep on a piece of sushi?
This is a fun page full of all the nitpicking you can think of for movies. I certainly didn't notice Spiderman's mask changing.
Here's 100 things you didn't know last year...or weren't likely to care. I mean, is the fact that Brazilians are the nationality most likely to read spam really that necessary to know?
This is a pretty helpful eye chart for guys. Just keep in mind how true the beer section is.
Alright...one of the classic Fox Sports commercials! I'd give this dive an 8...damn Russians.
Wow...never bring a crybaby to a pillowfight. This is just...sad.
Here is a list of the wackiest police calls of last year. My personal favorite,"Oct. 15, 9:08 p.m.: A man violated a restraining order, entered a house in the 1000 block of Laurel Avenue, took a parrot and threatened to kill it." That parrot must have been laughing at him.
This story is just disturbing. Who wouldn't be mentally unstable after spending several weeks with decomposing bodies.
Yet another retrospective on weird stories in 2004. My personal favorite is the one about T I Double GG Er. I'm sure it was all a big misunderstanding...Tigger wouldn't do something like that.
Girls sure dress differently from when I was in High school. I blame Britney Spears. Thank you, Britney!
Well, it looks like they went ahead and did it, despite all logic and sense telling them no. Meet the new Los Angeles Angels! Who play in Orange County. Yeah, that's just great.
Gee...maybe Jack should have gone to college in the Ukraine. He definitely would have graduated in 10 years.
Hehe...if you're tired of Monopoly (and let's face it, who isn't? Even if you slap Star Wars or Star Whores onto it) check out these board games.
Here's a page where a man eats some almost food and gives you a review on it. It still has nothing on some of the crap I've seen eaten at Chinese restaurants, but it's still pretty entertaining.
This is very involved for a flash game...plus you get to shoot things. I'm sold.
...and to round out 2004, here's just one more weird stories of last year link. Makes you wonder about what happened to the chickens you eat, huh?
Monday, January 03, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 8 1/3
It's a new year, people. I hope you all had a fun New Years and managed to stay out of jail. Every year I decide to make some ridiculous resolutions that I have no intention of keeping, so this year I decided I'd go with something I could. I'm kicking my heroin and cigarette habits; this might hurt my burgeoning modeling career, but it's been 3 days and I'm still clean. Wish me good luck. Anyways, here's the first links of the year. Enjoy.
Robot jockeys and children racing camels? Who said the Middle East was stagnant and backwards.
O.K...this online gaming thing has gone too far. This guy actually paid more than the down payment for my real life condo for a fictional island in a video game. I bet he owns a segway, too.
He tossed a coin he flipped it up...I guess this beats cutting the child in half like King Solomon did.
If you're feeling in the mood to be in bad taste...might as well set this tsunami slide up next to a model of the Twin Towers.
Finally...someone doing the lord's work and fighting against that succubus, Oprah!
Whoever buys this calendar has some serious issues...I mean really, scantily clad women? That's just sexist!
Certainly not safe for work...but not due to pictures. College Sex advice is as bold as it gets.
Gee...the number one hit song on the day I was born was ABBA's "Dancing Queen." You can all just shut the hell up.
I found half a tree under my bumper once when I fell asleep driving to Vegas...it could have been worse...I could have found a severed foot.
Hmmm...Germany is charging Rumsfeld with war crimes due to Abu Ghraib. At least we can count on Germany to uphold the dignity and humanity of terrorists. Maybe they can volunteer their expertise on forgoing torture and going straight into the ovens.
This may be the coolest thing I have ever heard of...straight out of Lucifer's Hammer! Silver Surfer, eat your heart out!
What's in your wallet? I hope not Capital One, those thieving bastards.
Man...compared to this guy, I've wasted my life. Look at all the research he must have put in to review every food item ever put out by Taco Bell.
They say sex sells...apparently even for hot dog vendors.
Would you say it was bigger than a pepsi bottle? Well, that's what she said about Jay-Z's member. That's...wow.
Can you identify these celebrities by a pic of their butts? I'm not quite sure so far...I'm going to need some research time.
Great...so now the Mexican government is making comic books on how to illegally get into the U.S. I wonder if they'll make it into a movie? It's worked for X-men, Daredevil, Batman...
You think I have a lot of time to waste at work? Well, I do, but this is ridiculous.
Vikings didn't wear horns on their helmets? Say it ain't so! Next they're gonna tell us pirates didn't make people walk the plank. What? They didn't?
Australia doesn't fuck around where their warning signs are concerned.
It's a new year, people. I hope you all had a fun New Years and managed to stay out of jail. Every year I decide to make some ridiculous resolutions that I have no intention of keeping, so this year I decided I'd go with something I could. I'm kicking my heroin and cigarette habits; this might hurt my burgeoning modeling career, but it's been 3 days and I'm still clean. Wish me good luck. Anyways, here's the first links of the year. Enjoy.
Robot jockeys and children racing camels? Who said the Middle East was stagnant and backwards.
O.K...this online gaming thing has gone too far. This guy actually paid more than the down payment for my real life condo for a fictional island in a video game. I bet he owns a segway, too.
He tossed a coin he flipped it up...I guess this beats cutting the child in half like King Solomon did.
If you're feeling in the mood to be in bad taste...might as well set this tsunami slide up next to a model of the Twin Towers.
Finally...someone doing the lord's work and fighting against that succubus, Oprah!
Whoever buys this calendar has some serious issues...I mean really, scantily clad women? That's just sexist!
Certainly not safe for work...but not due to pictures. College Sex advice is as bold as it gets.
Gee...the number one hit song on the day I was born was ABBA's "Dancing Queen." You can all just shut the hell up.
I found half a tree under my bumper once when I fell asleep driving to Vegas...it could have been worse...I could have found a severed foot.
Hmmm...Germany is charging Rumsfeld with war crimes due to Abu Ghraib. At least we can count on Germany to uphold the dignity and humanity of terrorists. Maybe they can volunteer their expertise on forgoing torture and going straight into the ovens.
This may be the coolest thing I have ever heard of...straight out of Lucifer's Hammer! Silver Surfer, eat your heart out!
What's in your wallet? I hope not Capital One, those thieving bastards.
Man...compared to this guy, I've wasted my life. Look at all the research he must have put in to review every food item ever put out by Taco Bell.
They say sex sells...apparently even for hot dog vendors.
Would you say it was bigger than a pepsi bottle? Well, that's what she said about Jay-Z's member. That's...wow.
Can you identify these celebrities by a pic of their butts? I'm not quite sure so far...I'm going to need some research time.
Great...so now the Mexican government is making comic books on how to illegally get into the U.S. I wonder if they'll make it into a movie? It's worked for X-men, Daredevil, Batman...
You think I have a lot of time to waste at work? Well, I do, but this is ridiculous.
Vikings didn't wear horns on their helmets? Say it ain't so! Next they're gonna tell us pirates didn't make people walk the plank. What? They didn't?
Australia doesn't fuck around where their warning signs are concerned.
I should actually post something on my blog other than silly links I send to me friend once and a while. This is basically my main New Year's resolution...I'm going to try and post smaller little thoughts and such to stay in practice. Practice for what, you ask? I'm glad you did...I also made another resolution on vacations this year and I plan on going on at least 3 major vacations this year. My first trip should be to Cambodia, Thailand and Vietnam in March, which will once again require me to write a travel journal. I have been keeping a journal for the past three vacations I have been on and it's a fun exercise that is a good reference tool for where I've been and what I was thinking at the time. I'll be traveling with my buddy Newjen, which should be VERY interesting. I'll probably force him to keep some sort of a journal as well and put them both together as a sort of dueling banjos account of our trip. He still has the legendary "Jansporting with Newjen" story in which he invented the term "white boy heaven" to refer to ethnic girls getting obessed by white guys not to mention his Tone's Take in our fantasy sports leagues. You could do worse...you could read all of mine. My journals end up being little novellas and generally outstrip the length of reading Animal Farm.
I'll be traveling to Vegas this next weekend so there should be some interesting things afoot when I get there. I'll be meeting up with Abe and Changomo; Abe and Vegas always combine for some funny stories...like the time he had to wait outside of a strip joint to sober up because he couldn't stand up on his own. When he finally got in, he spent the entire time sleeping on a stripper's minidress. Hehe...hopefully good times ahead.
I'll be traveling to Vegas this next weekend so there should be some interesting things afoot when I get there. I'll be meeting up with Abe and Changomo; Abe and Vegas always combine for some funny stories...like the time he had to wait outside of a strip joint to sober up because he couldn't stand up on his own. When he finally got in, he spent the entire time sleeping on a stripper's minidress. Hehe...hopefully good times ahead.
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Farkin' Links Vol. 7 12/30
I hope you all have a fun New Year's Eve tomorrow. Here's the last links of the year. Enjoy...
This is an interesting link; a collection of the various inventions by prisoners...they wisely left out the shanks and other lethal weapons.
Hmmm...well, I can see why this guy got nuttin' for Christmas...
This is just bizarre...it's Pulp Fiction in legos...and in Japanese, apparently.
80,000 dollars plus benefits a year to do nothing? Who would be crazy enough to accept that job! I'd sue as well.
Wow...that's a lot of fags in one airport. Hey, I'm talking about cigarettes! What, do you think I'm some sort of intolerant bigot?
Speaking of fags however, or maybe it should be gafs. What a jackass.
Here's a man with far too much time on his hands...so, basically, a man after my own heart. Still, those are some cool card buildings.
Chocolate or beer? How about chocolate AND beer! Sam Adams, you mad genius, you!
Just like the British...even when they're intent on crime and beatings, they're still polite about it.
Cool. They have a t-shirt with Lynn's new man. It puts the lotion in the basket!
This dog could give Toonces the Driving Cat a run for his money.
People ask me why I watch Spanish tv when I don't speak spanish. No, it's not because of all the beautiful scantily clad women...well, not entirely, anyways. They have quality entertainment, like this guy.
Wait a minute...are they saying that before this law it was illegal to fish with your bare hands?
Looks like the law of gravity is in trouble. I always knew that was a bad law...very discriminatory against stupid people and cartoon characters.
Wow...that was by far the best video I've seen today. Ummm...not exactly safe for work...even if it does involve Lindsey Lohan.
This is kind of an old story, but what the hell, it involves exploding donkeys. (Hat tip to Jon the Oracle)
I like the original song...so I'll just include this as well.
Yeah, right. It was the nightwatch man's porn collection on my computer...sure...and please don't tell my wife.
...and speaking of porn, it's a true Christmas miracle!
I hope you all have a fun New Year's Eve tomorrow. Here's the last links of the year. Enjoy...
This is an interesting link; a collection of the various inventions by prisoners...they wisely left out the shanks and other lethal weapons.
Hmmm...well, I can see why this guy got nuttin' for Christmas...
This is just bizarre...it's Pulp Fiction in legos...and in Japanese, apparently.
80,000 dollars plus benefits a year to do nothing? Who would be crazy enough to accept that job! I'd sue as well.
Wow...that's a lot of fags in one airport. Hey, I'm talking about cigarettes! What, do you think I'm some sort of intolerant bigot?
Speaking of fags however, or maybe it should be gafs. What a jackass.
Here's a man with far too much time on his hands...so, basically, a man after my own heart. Still, those are some cool card buildings.
Chocolate or beer? How about chocolate AND beer! Sam Adams, you mad genius, you!
Just like the British...even when they're intent on crime and beatings, they're still polite about it.
Cool. They have a t-shirt with Lynn's new man. It puts the lotion in the basket!
This dog could give Toonces the Driving Cat a run for his money.
People ask me why I watch Spanish tv when I don't speak spanish. No, it's not because of all the beautiful scantily clad women...well, not entirely, anyways. They have quality entertainment, like this guy.
Wait a minute...are they saying that before this law it was illegal to fish with your bare hands?
Looks like the law of gravity is in trouble. I always knew that was a bad law...very discriminatory against stupid people and cartoon characters.
Wow...that was by far the best video I've seen today. Ummm...not exactly safe for work...even if it does involve Lindsey Lohan.
This is kind of an old story, but what the hell, it involves exploding donkeys. (Hat tip to Jon the Oracle)
I like the original song...so I'll just include this as well.
Yeah, right. It was the nightwatch man's porn collection on my computer...sure...and please don't tell my wife.
...and speaking of porn, it's a true Christmas miracle!
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Farkin' Links 6 12/29
The deathtoll by the tragedy in Southeast Asia seems to be growing by the minute. I hope all of you find it in your power to donate something to help ease the next disaster that they're about to suffer; disease. Amazon has a direct link to the red cross which seems to be growing every minute. Sorry for the downer this morning...anyways, let's look at the lighter side of life.
Hmmm...drunk people mixed with a fragile, easily destroyed building...what could go wrong?
Ex-Boss wakes up man in coma by telling him to "get his ass back to work." I wonder if he gave him his job back? That would be kind of cruel if he did that to tease the man.
Who are these researchers that study how much skin celebrities are showing in public? And how the hell do I get on this team?
Couple pays entire town's electricity bill for Christmas...top that one, jolly fat man!
Rain in the desert city of Dubai causes 500 accidents in a day...I'd still take that over driving on the freeways here in LA.
Hmmm...the BBC certainly sponsors some weird ass shit for their teenagers. Not exactly safe for work...unless your work allows cartoon nudity.
Yet another file for "Japanese people are crazy!"...I really don't want to ride the subway there anymore.
Hehe...this is for those poor suckers that live back east and suffer in the snow. Sorry Allan and Brett. Sorry you're foolish enough to live in that weather.
This movie is for Moody. What? I just know he happens to be a big fan of Sesame Street, that's all...
This sounds like something Jack would do...except for the Radio Shack part. I mean, nobody really shops at Radio Shack, right?
Something tells me this is a regular occurance on Greyhound buses...
Alright, this is a pretty good story. Nobody really does check the signature, do they?
Wow...that's an idea, forget renting the midgets, just rent children! You can pay them in candy!
Ecstasy 'May Ease Fears of Dying Cancer Patients'...hell, why stop there? Let's just get them some crack so they can go out with a bang!
A list of interesting urinals...what a wonderful lunch topic!
Gee...talk about a slow newsday...this actually makes a story? The writer pretty much went out to the parking lot and interviewed people. Eh...it's MSNBC, nobody reads or watches it anyways.
It's not quite a penguin getting wacked with a bat, but I like flying midgets. My best score was 50.14
Speaking of penguins...I really suck at diving. I can't get over 26. No wait....30!!! Yes!!! I win the gold! Sadly, that's the biggest accomplishment I've made today.
Did you ever wonder why everything tastes like chicken? No, it's not because we're in the Matrix...the Matrix 2 and 3 sort of killed that desire; check this article out.
One last link regarding Christmas...while I had no lights on my place(hell, I wasn't even home)these people seem to spend a whole lot of time and effort on their places.
The deathtoll by the tragedy in Southeast Asia seems to be growing by the minute. I hope all of you find it in your power to donate something to help ease the next disaster that they're about to suffer; disease. Amazon has a direct link to the red cross which seems to be growing every minute. Sorry for the downer this morning...anyways, let's look at the lighter side of life.
Hmmm...drunk people mixed with a fragile, easily destroyed building...what could go wrong?
Ex-Boss wakes up man in coma by telling him to "get his ass back to work." I wonder if he gave him his job back? That would be kind of cruel if he did that to tease the man.
Who are these researchers that study how much skin celebrities are showing in public? And how the hell do I get on this team?
Couple pays entire town's electricity bill for Christmas...top that one, jolly fat man!
Rain in the desert city of Dubai causes 500 accidents in a day...I'd still take that over driving on the freeways here in LA.
Hmmm...the BBC certainly sponsors some weird ass shit for their teenagers. Not exactly safe for work...unless your work allows cartoon nudity.
Yet another file for "Japanese people are crazy!"...I really don't want to ride the subway there anymore.
Hehe...this is for those poor suckers that live back east and suffer in the snow. Sorry Allan and Brett. Sorry you're foolish enough to live in that weather.
This movie is for Moody. What? I just know he happens to be a big fan of Sesame Street, that's all...
This sounds like something Jack would do...except for the Radio Shack part. I mean, nobody really shops at Radio Shack, right?
Something tells me this is a regular occurance on Greyhound buses...
Alright, this is a pretty good story. Nobody really does check the signature, do they?
Wow...that's an idea, forget renting the midgets, just rent children! You can pay them in candy!
Ecstasy 'May Ease Fears of Dying Cancer Patients'...hell, why stop there? Let's just get them some crack so they can go out with a bang!
A list of interesting urinals...what a wonderful lunch topic!
Gee...talk about a slow newsday...this actually makes a story? The writer pretty much went out to the parking lot and interviewed people. Eh...it's MSNBC, nobody reads or watches it anyways.
It's not quite a penguin getting wacked with a bat, but I like flying midgets. My best score was 50.14
Speaking of penguins...I really suck at diving. I can't get over 26. No wait....30!!! Yes!!! I win the gold! Sadly, that's the biggest accomplishment I've made today.
Did you ever wonder why everything tastes like chicken? No, it's not because we're in the Matrix...the Matrix 2 and 3 sort of killed that desire; check this article out.
One last link regarding Christmas...while I had no lights on my place(hell, I wasn't even home)these people seem to spend a whole lot of time and effort on their places.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Farkin' Links Vol. 5 12/28/04
I hope the rain isn't affecting everyone too much today...like the 2 frickin' hours it took me to drive into the office! I hate the rain; all it does is give Californian drivers a case of the stupids...Do you really need to drive 90 miles an hour and tailgate the guy in front while it's pouring? At what point did that seem like a smart idea? Anyways, here's da links...
You go Japan! Keep it up! "Japanese people are crazy!" links just never get old. Here's one on their cops...of course, who knows if this is weird compared to our cops. At least they don't pee in elevators.
Man saved from falling into a canal by McDonald's employee. I'm lovin' it.
When Lucy Ricardo pulled this stunt with Ethel, she didn't go to jail. I guess reality and t.v. just don't mix.
Hmmm...well, it turns out Love Birds aren't the only birds that swing both ways. I guess it's no surprise why penguins are so well dressed anymore.
Looks like the spirit of Ed Wood lives on in Germany. I still don't know the names of those stupid dwarves anyways. I mean, did they really need 7? That's just excessive.
Professor wants people to stop having sex on Mount Everest. I wonder if he works for the FEC?
Holy Crap! I want some magic sand! I'm not sure what I'd do with it, but gimmie gimmie!
I wouldn't say that his desire was crazy...just...well, stupid and irrelevant. There...I'm sure he feels better.
This is far more entertaining than the WNBA. O.K., that's not really saying much, but I'd pay to see women do this on a basketball court. Speaking of which, don't forget to play the cheerleader toss game. Forget the basket, aim for the scoreboard.
This seems kind of cool...except how does the piping work? I forsee many floods in this building.
This would have ruined my playboy magazine business back in elementary school, but it SO would have been worth it.
This is probably the most inane record I've heard of since that japanese guy ate all those hot dogs...but I'm impressed. I can't do one rubix cube.
I can't remember if I linked to this before...but damn, it's winter and this shit is cool.
Wow...this guy can smoke and drink all he wants, because if this is what he does for fun, he won't have to worry about old age.
What do you get when you cross air hockey with Star Wars? A highly addicting game...that's distracting me way too much from actual work.
I love the selling point on this item,"Perfect Holiday Gift!" For the alcoholic in the family, I suppose. Or Chih Hao. (Hat tip to Jon the Oracle)
I guess these militants weren't big fans of John Lennon. Give peace a chance!? Shut up!
This just in. George W. Bush won re-election! Unfortunately, there are some people who haven't gotten over it yet. Seriously, get a life.
Wow...apparently the White Power movement has gotten so bad, they've recruited some Mary Kate and Ashley look a likes to put a new face on it. It would be scary if it weren't so pathetic and sad.
Ooohhh...this link is for Alex. You now can rent a midget! For what...well, why don't you just keep it to yourself, you sicko.
I hope the rain isn't affecting everyone too much today...like the 2 frickin' hours it took me to drive into the office! I hate the rain; all it does is give Californian drivers a case of the stupids...Do you really need to drive 90 miles an hour and tailgate the guy in front while it's pouring? At what point did that seem like a smart idea? Anyways, here's da links...
You go Japan! Keep it up! "Japanese people are crazy!" links just never get old. Here's one on their cops...of course, who knows if this is weird compared to our cops. At least they don't pee in elevators.
Man saved from falling into a canal by McDonald's employee. I'm lovin' it.
When Lucy Ricardo pulled this stunt with Ethel, she didn't go to jail. I guess reality and t.v. just don't mix.
Hmmm...well, it turns out Love Birds aren't the only birds that swing both ways. I guess it's no surprise why penguins are so well dressed anymore.
Looks like the spirit of Ed Wood lives on in Germany. I still don't know the names of those stupid dwarves anyways. I mean, did they really need 7? That's just excessive.
Professor wants people to stop having sex on Mount Everest. I wonder if he works for the FEC?
Holy Crap! I want some magic sand! I'm not sure what I'd do with it, but gimmie gimmie!
I wouldn't say that his desire was crazy...just...well, stupid and irrelevant. There...I'm sure he feels better.
This is far more entertaining than the WNBA. O.K., that's not really saying much, but I'd pay to see women do this on a basketball court. Speaking of which, don't forget to play the cheerleader toss game. Forget the basket, aim for the scoreboard.
This seems kind of cool...except how does the piping work? I forsee many floods in this building.
This would have ruined my playboy magazine business back in elementary school, but it SO would have been worth it.
This is probably the most inane record I've heard of since that japanese guy ate all those hot dogs...but I'm impressed. I can't do one rubix cube.
I can't remember if I linked to this before...but damn, it's winter and this shit is cool.
Wow...this guy can smoke and drink all he wants, because if this is what he does for fun, he won't have to worry about old age.
What do you get when you cross air hockey with Star Wars? A highly addicting game...that's distracting me way too much from actual work.
I love the selling point on this item,"Perfect Holiday Gift!" For the alcoholic in the family, I suppose. Or Chih Hao. (Hat tip to Jon the Oracle)
I guess these militants weren't big fans of John Lennon. Give peace a chance!? Shut up!
This just in. George W. Bush won re-election! Unfortunately, there are some people who haven't gotten over it yet. Seriously, get a life.
Wow...apparently the White Power movement has gotten so bad, they've recruited some Mary Kate and Ashley look a likes to put a new face on it. It would be scary if it weren't so pathetic and sad.
Ooohhh...this link is for Alex. You now can rent a midget! For what...well, why don't you just keep it to yourself, you sicko.
Monday, December 27, 2004
Farkin' Links Vol. 4
I hope everyone had a nice Christmas...I certainly did. That is, my brothers didn't infect me with some horrible sickness this time; it's truly a Christmas miracle. Unfortunately, I still didn't get that B.B. gun. I'm starting to wonder about this Santa dude...
I knew that Mario and Luigi were a bunch of commies...
Damn...and I forgot this link for potential Christmas gifts to get your friends. Maybe you can save it for birthdays...
This is quite funny...if highly disturbing. Really, it's the evil that American Pie wrought with that phrase MILF.
Hmmm...well, I guess I'm ready to give peace a chance...
If you thought your name was funny, like, ooohh, I dunno, Chung Ping, get a load of this guy's name.
Now this is a diet I could get on board with.
Uh oh...it looks like you can no longer trust your car...Big Brother is watching your speed!
This whole treating pets like people is just getting ridiculous...next they'll be making doggie beer...mmmmmm....beer....
I guess love birds are bisexual...their children are going to be very confused.
I had been neglecting the "Japanese people are crazy!" links latey, but I got a nice one today. Of course, if you've seen their porn, you wouldn't be surprised by this story...not that I watch porn or anything...
You know, I couldn't name all of Santa's reindeer. Hell, I can't name the seven dwarves, either.
I'm not sure what's more amusing, the fact that this robber locked his keys in the car, or the fact that the police across the street didn't stop him until he took them on a chase where he could endanger lives.
This story is so strange...Finnish firefighters set their sauna on fire, hilarity ensues.
I'll have to ask Chih Hao, Tristan and Paul if they tried any of these tasty, Star Wars looking drinks.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and disagree that Jesus would have evicted a pregnant woman and her 3 children from a homeless shelter.
Jeez...I thought New York was exciting. When did everybody become librarians?
Yeah...lay down the law, Bill Cosby!
I wonder if this girl originally signed consent illegally before this occurred. If she did, Take Two should sue her ass.
A follow up to that story about the soccer player that stood up his bride at the altar. Looks like his team fired him for behavior tarnishing the state's image. Ron Artest to help in the appeal.
When will the criminals ever learn? DO NOT mess with old people! They'll fuck you up.
Hehe...is that a salami in your package or are you just happy to see me?
I hope everyone had a nice Christmas...I certainly did. That is, my brothers didn't infect me with some horrible sickness this time; it's truly a Christmas miracle. Unfortunately, I still didn't get that B.B. gun. I'm starting to wonder about this Santa dude...
I knew that Mario and Luigi were a bunch of commies...
Damn...and I forgot this link for potential Christmas gifts to get your friends. Maybe you can save it for birthdays...
This is quite funny...if highly disturbing. Really, it's the evil that American Pie wrought with that phrase MILF.
Hmmm...well, I guess I'm ready to give peace a chance...
If you thought your name was funny, like, ooohh, I dunno, Chung Ping, get a load of this guy's name.
Now this is a diet I could get on board with.
Uh oh...it looks like you can no longer trust your car...Big Brother is watching your speed!
This whole treating pets like people is just getting ridiculous...next they'll be making doggie beer...mmmmmm....beer....
I guess love birds are bisexual...their children are going to be very confused.
I had been neglecting the "Japanese people are crazy!" links latey, but I got a nice one today. Of course, if you've seen their porn, you wouldn't be surprised by this story...not that I watch porn or anything...
You know, I couldn't name all of Santa's reindeer. Hell, I can't name the seven dwarves, either.
I'm not sure what's more amusing, the fact that this robber locked his keys in the car, or the fact that the police across the street didn't stop him until he took them on a chase where he could endanger lives.
This story is so strange...Finnish firefighters set their sauna on fire, hilarity ensues.
I'll have to ask Chih Hao, Tristan and Paul if they tried any of these tasty, Star Wars looking drinks.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and disagree that Jesus would have evicted a pregnant woman and her 3 children from a homeless shelter.
Jeez...I thought New York was exciting. When did everybody become librarians?
Yeah...lay down the law, Bill Cosby!
I wonder if this girl originally signed consent illegally before this occurred. If she did, Take Two should sue her ass.
A follow up to that story about the soccer player that stood up his bride at the altar. Looks like his team fired him for behavior tarnishing the state's image. Ron Artest to help in the appeal.
When will the criminals ever learn? DO NOT mess with old people! They'll fuck you up.
Hehe...is that a salami in your package or are you just happy to see me?
Thursday, December 23, 2004
Farkin' Links Vol. 3
Well, I didn't have time to send this out like I normally do, but since most people are already on vacation at this point, be it in body or spirit, I'm sure you don't really care. I hope every one has a Merry Christmas and I'll see you on the other side.
This is an interesting site. You can see a composite of the people living in various cities in the world. I'd love to see Los Angeles, but it might break the system.
If you thought soccer was a game for pussies...well, that's still true, actually. But this is one hell of an injury.
Any list that includes Monty Python's The Life of Brian is good in my book. "All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"
This joker is a complete idiot. Not only is he going to go to jail, but he didn't even get to keep any of the money stole off of those credit cards.
This is a sign of how fat our country is getting. Let's face it, Diet Coke must make you fat...I only see fat people drinking it, and they ain't getting any smaller.
In case you were wondering which celebrities to blame...
Have you ever wondered what stars will look like when they're older? Now you don't have to...
I have nothing against Santa, but these are some scary ass Santas...almost as scary as a bunch of clowns...
This is a rather strange link...I suppose gays would have better taste in houses and furnishings as evidenced by Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
This seems like an expensive prank...unless you drive one of those golf ball collecting cars at the driving range.
Do you remember that fake phone number that you could give out to people you wanted to reject but not in person? Well, it looks like it's advanced to the 21st century.
...and you guys think I have too much time on my hands at work. Well, you're right, but this is a good sign they need to downsize.
Does it bother Chinese people that idiot white people get tattoos in various chinese symbols? I know it bothers me...and this guy too. Enough to have made one hell of a prank out of it.
Speaking of having waaaaay too much time on your hands at work...just scroll down this page and watch a master at work.
I always thought school bus drivers were complete weirdo freaks, but mine always knew how to drive to school.
Let's just continue with the pranks, shall we? Here's a huge list from those weirdos at Cal Tech. We'll have to verify them with Ben, but I wouldn't put it past them.
Just so Cal Tech doesn't get all the prank glory, here's a funny site with MIT pranks. Props to this one for including a reference to Monty Python.
Here's about 50 reasons to not fall asleep around your friends.
Now THIS is a cool prank. Unfortunately, McDonald's doesn't have much of a sense of humor.
...and just in case you're wondering, not only is Vince Carter half man/half bitch, but he's also a cheater who throws games. Thank goodness he's one of the leading vote getters in the All-Star game.
Well, I didn't have time to send this out like I normally do, but since most people are already on vacation at this point, be it in body or spirit, I'm sure you don't really care. I hope every one has a Merry Christmas and I'll see you on the other side.
This is an interesting site. You can see a composite of the people living in various cities in the world. I'd love to see Los Angeles, but it might break the system.
If you thought soccer was a game for pussies...well, that's still true, actually. But this is one hell of an injury.
Any list that includes Monty Python's The Life of Brian is good in my book. "All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"
This joker is a complete idiot. Not only is he going to go to jail, but he didn't even get to keep any of the money stole off of those credit cards.
This is a sign of how fat our country is getting. Let's face it, Diet Coke must make you fat...I only see fat people drinking it, and they ain't getting any smaller.
In case you were wondering which celebrities to blame...
Have you ever wondered what stars will look like when they're older? Now you don't have to...
I have nothing against Santa, but these are some scary ass Santas...almost as scary as a bunch of clowns...
This is a rather strange link...I suppose gays would have better taste in houses and furnishings as evidenced by Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
This seems like an expensive prank...unless you drive one of those golf ball collecting cars at the driving range.
Do you remember that fake phone number that you could give out to people you wanted to reject but not in person? Well, it looks like it's advanced to the 21st century.
...and you guys think I have too much time on my hands at work. Well, you're right, but this is a good sign they need to downsize.
Does it bother Chinese people that idiot white people get tattoos in various chinese symbols? I know it bothers me...and this guy too. Enough to have made one hell of a prank out of it.
Speaking of having waaaaay too much time on your hands at work...just scroll down this page and watch a master at work.
I always thought school bus drivers were complete weirdo freaks, but mine always knew how to drive to school.
Let's just continue with the pranks, shall we? Here's a huge list from those weirdos at Cal Tech. We'll have to verify them with Ben, but I wouldn't put it past them.
Just so Cal Tech doesn't get all the prank glory, here's a funny site with MIT pranks. Props to this one for including a reference to Monty Python.
Here's about 50 reasons to not fall asleep around your friends.
Now THIS is a cool prank. Unfortunately, McDonald's doesn't have much of a sense of humor.
...and just in case you're wondering, not only is Vince Carter half man/half bitch, but he's also a cheater who throws games. Thank goodness he's one of the leading vote getters in the All-Star game.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Farkin' Links Vol. 2
I have this recurring nightmare where I'm at work surrounded by screaming, crying children making a mess of all my work...no wait, that's actually happening today. If you haven't been discouraged from having children yet, just come visit the office Christmas party here.
For the ladies, if you're looking to make some extra cash and bartending just isn't for you; go back to school.
I wish my house was connected to this kind of pipeline. Well, this or oil. Actually, I'd have to go with oil.
Here's a website devoted to DeLoreans...we've got monster truck DeLoreans and hovercraft DeLoreans...sadly, no time traveling ones. But time travel is impossible anyways as someone would just be able to go back in time and stop anything from ever happening...which would mean nothing would happen. You see?
How much do you wanna bet this was thought up and invented by some Cal Tech graduates? A fish highway! Preposterous!
Wow...I guess it was only a matter of time before someone put vibrating phone and vibrator together. That brings phone sex to a whole new level.
...and you thought your drive to work was bad. Still, I'd love to have a flame thrower on my car...it would keep those damn window washing bums out of my way. Better still,"Hey buddy, I've got some change...just stand right next to my window..."
Bram Stoker's Dracula actually based on Irish history than Transylvania...claims an Irishman. Huh...go have another Guiness, Mick.
It's about time those lazy bastardos in Spain start working in the middle of the day. This ain't kindergarden...
So those giant desert spiders AREN'T dangerous afterall? Well, that just ruined my day.
Whoa...that reminds me of Saturday...well, every week.
This is a good reason not to wear briefs...of course, wiping completely before you pull your pants up might help too.
Now these are the gifts that keep on giving.
Mob boss arrested at Euro Disney. You mean, people actually GO to Euro Disney? Looks like they just lost their only client.
Potential juror thrown in jail for lying about taking her son to the doctor's after she already stated she had no children. Defense lawyers trying to get her reinstated, reasoning that anyone that stupid should help out their case.
Looks like I found the perfect gift for Moody this Christmas...sure as hell beats Star Wars Monopoly.
That's a novel way to escape from prison. Of course, this being Sweden, I don't see why the guy didn't just walk out the front door. Those aren't real prisons over there.
This is actually kind of cool. Except for the part about it affecting people's drinking water. People are confused about their sexuality enough in this world...no need to complicate it.
This should cheer up fat women everywhere. They should start looking for husbands in Ethiopia, apparently.
Wow...and you thought gas was expensive...oh wait, it is. Still, 200 dollar Christmas trees?
This should cheer you up. A current picture of Urkel...apparently trying out for a gay version of the Road Warrior.
I have this recurring nightmare where I'm at work surrounded by screaming, crying children making a mess of all my work...no wait, that's actually happening today. If you haven't been discouraged from having children yet, just come visit the office Christmas party here.
For the ladies, if you're looking to make some extra cash and bartending just isn't for you; go back to school.
I wish my house was connected to this kind of pipeline. Well, this or oil. Actually, I'd have to go with oil.
Here's a website devoted to DeLoreans...we've got monster truck DeLoreans and hovercraft DeLoreans...sadly, no time traveling ones. But time travel is impossible anyways as someone would just be able to go back in time and stop anything from ever happening...which would mean nothing would happen. You see?
How much do you wanna bet this was thought up and invented by some Cal Tech graduates? A fish highway! Preposterous!
Wow...I guess it was only a matter of time before someone put vibrating phone and vibrator together. That brings phone sex to a whole new level.
...and you thought your drive to work was bad. Still, I'd love to have a flame thrower on my car...it would keep those damn window washing bums out of my way. Better still,"Hey buddy, I've got some change...just stand right next to my window..."
Bram Stoker's Dracula actually based on Irish history than Transylvania...claims an Irishman. Huh...go have another Guiness, Mick.
It's about time those lazy bastardos in Spain start working in the middle of the day. This ain't kindergarden...
So those giant desert spiders AREN'T dangerous afterall? Well, that just ruined my day.
Whoa...that reminds me of Saturday...well, every week.
This is a good reason not to wear briefs...of course, wiping completely before you pull your pants up might help too.
Now these are the gifts that keep on giving.
Mob boss arrested at Euro Disney. You mean, people actually GO to Euro Disney? Looks like they just lost their only client.
Potential juror thrown in jail for lying about taking her son to the doctor's after she already stated she had no children. Defense lawyers trying to get her reinstated, reasoning that anyone that stupid should help out their case.
Looks like I found the perfect gift for Moody this Christmas...sure as hell beats Star Wars Monopoly.
That's a novel way to escape from prison. Of course, this being Sweden, I don't see why the guy didn't just walk out the front door. Those aren't real prisons over there.
This is actually kind of cool. Except for the part about it affecting people's drinking water. People are confused about their sexuality enough in this world...no need to complicate it.
This should cheer up fat women everywhere. They should start looking for husbands in Ethiopia, apparently.
Wow...and you thought gas was expensive...oh wait, it is. Still, 200 dollar Christmas trees?
This should cheer you up. A current picture of Urkel...apparently trying out for a gay version of the Road Warrior.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Farkin' Links Vol. 1
Well, I've settled on a name for these links...I figure if I can't beat them, I'll join 'em. Unfortunately, that means I have to give praise to Marlon since he was the one with the idea. How do you praise one so evil as Marlon? Well, we'll give it a try. I understand he's stopped torturing small animals...now he just devotes that energy to torturing Jack. That rumor I started about him selling ballistic weapons systems to the Chicoms? Well, I don't have any definitive proof, so I might not be true. Hmmm...well, that's about the best I can do. Either way, here's the links for today.
Harrison Ford gets tired of playing communist heroes and decides to be an american hero in a new movie based on the invasion of Fallujah.
There is just so much wrong with this story, I'm not even sure where to start. Maybe with the question, how does a woman end up named Ramon? Well, maybe the bestiality is a little strange, too.
What is this whole school craze of slapping the cuffs on children? Do handcuffs even stay on a 5 year old? What they need to bring back is a paddlin'.
If you're still looking for unique Christmas gifts...here's the best of two worlds, an ipod AND David Hasselhoff! In the immortal words of Keanu Reeves,"Whoa!"
Hey...who are you going to believe, Paris Hilton's words or your own eyes? Everybody has seen her debut video, right?
Yet another stupid criminal that won't heed my advice about old people...they'll fuck you up. That or give you a lecture.
Castro's granddaughter becomes a U.S. citizen. Oh sure, after taking advantage of the superior education system and free health care, she turns traitor. Viva la revolucion!
In case you're wondering why our health care is so expensive...it turns out we're still paying for the care of zombies. Have we learned nothing from Dawn of the Dead?
When I was a kid, I used to play with army men. This would have really made things more realistic.
So that's what Kurt Warner is doing these days...store clerk by day, crimefighter by...day, I guess. Remember, there's no Fiction in Crucifixion.
Too bad Scott Peterson didn't kill his wife in Canada...apparently, you spend less time in jail for murder than making racist remarks. Blame Canada, indeed.
In order to make the children feel more at home, the new school for troubled students get their new digs next to a strip joint and an adult video store.
A Mexican man took his gay lover far to seriously when he was told,"Eat me!"
Girl's high school basketball team one up Charlie Brown and reel off a 107 game losing streak. Their coach is very confident that with hard work, they can make it 108.
Missouri jails allow inmates to play video games. Think if they get to shoot and blow up people on the screen, it'll keep them from trying it out on the guards.
Oh great...Microsoft is going to charge us for new programs that fix their crappy operating system. If those linux users weren't such arrogant bastards...and I could actually play a game on it, I might switch.
Yet another example of how not to pull a prank. People tend to overreact when they see a dead body.
Michael Jackson to throw a kiddie Christmas party at Neverland Ranch...what could possibly go wrong?
Hmmm...I wanna know what school project that would justify having toppless pictures of women...and why the hell I never got any cool assignments like that!
Hey...if Michelle Wie can compete with men, why not let this guy compete in girl's gymnastics? It's not really a sport, anyways. Kind of like golf.
Well, I've settled on a name for these links...I figure if I can't beat them, I'll join 'em. Unfortunately, that means I have to give praise to Marlon since he was the one with the idea. How do you praise one so evil as Marlon? Well, we'll give it a try. I understand he's stopped torturing small animals...now he just devotes that energy to torturing Jack. That rumor I started about him selling ballistic weapons systems to the Chicoms? Well, I don't have any definitive proof, so I might not be true. Hmmm...well, that's about the best I can do. Either way, here's the links for today.
Harrison Ford gets tired of playing communist heroes and decides to be an american hero in a new movie based on the invasion of Fallujah.
There is just so much wrong with this story, I'm not even sure where to start. Maybe with the question, how does a woman end up named Ramon? Well, maybe the bestiality is a little strange, too.
What is this whole school craze of slapping the cuffs on children? Do handcuffs even stay on a 5 year old? What they need to bring back is a paddlin'.
If you're still looking for unique Christmas gifts...here's the best of two worlds, an ipod AND David Hasselhoff! In the immortal words of Keanu Reeves,"Whoa!"
Hey...who are you going to believe, Paris Hilton's words or your own eyes? Everybody has seen her debut video, right?
Yet another stupid criminal that won't heed my advice about old people...they'll fuck you up. That or give you a lecture.
Castro's granddaughter becomes a U.S. citizen. Oh sure, after taking advantage of the superior education system and free health care, she turns traitor. Viva la revolucion!
In case you're wondering why our health care is so expensive...it turns out we're still paying for the care of zombies. Have we learned nothing from Dawn of the Dead?
When I was a kid, I used to play with army men. This would have really made things more realistic.
So that's what Kurt Warner is doing these days...store clerk by day, crimefighter by...day, I guess. Remember, there's no Fiction in Crucifixion.
Too bad Scott Peterson didn't kill his wife in Canada...apparently, you spend less time in jail for murder than making racist remarks. Blame Canada, indeed.
In order to make the children feel more at home, the new school for troubled students get their new digs next to a strip joint and an adult video store.
A Mexican man took his gay lover far to seriously when he was told,"Eat me!"
Girl's high school basketball team one up Charlie Brown and reel off a 107 game losing streak. Their coach is very confident that with hard work, they can make it 108.
Missouri jails allow inmates to play video games. Think if they get to shoot and blow up people on the screen, it'll keep them from trying it out on the guards.
Oh great...Microsoft is going to charge us for new programs that fix their crappy operating system. If those linux users weren't such arrogant bastards...and I could actually play a game on it, I might switch.
Yet another example of how not to pull a prank. People tend to overreact when they see a dead body.
Michael Jackson to throw a kiddie Christmas party at Neverland Ranch...what could possibly go wrong?
Hmmm...I wanna know what school project that would justify having toppless pictures of women...and why the hell I never got any cool assignments like that!
Hey...if Michelle Wie can compete with men, why not let this guy compete in girl's gymnastics? It's not really a sport, anyways. Kind of like golf.
Friday, December 17, 2004
Need Your Help...with Links
I don't actually need your help in finding links as I seem to have that pretty well handled...no, you see, Vicky complained that I was getting repetious with the title and that I should have a permanent name for this "newsletter." We can't have Vicky complaining, so I decided that it's a good idea to have a name. Hey, I'm a people pleaser, and if you don't like that, go to hell. Seriously, if you have any suggestions on what I should call this instead of generic "Links", please drop me an email with your ideas. If you come up with something good and I use it, you'll be rewarded with loads of glowing praise from yours truly. Well, that, or half the profit I make from this email...your choice. Anyways, here's da links.
Gillette seeks to increase razor sales to women with their new vibrating razor...and to cut into the profit of adult sex toy stores too, apparently.
Hehe...it's only about 2 years too late, but this little flash movie is pretty damn funny.
Zee Germans want more Rammstein and less Britney Spears. I'm o.k. with that, but only if they stop sending us their German shize porn videos.
It's nice they got a scholarly opinion on the McRib...no, tax money isn't being wasted on wasteful things like educating students or anything.
This is a rather creepy interview from Jessica and Ashley Simpson's father...but hey, the man's right.
Living in an airport would suck...but given the choice between that or Kenya? At least the airport has a Starbucks.
Hehe...looks like they've been adding some more pictures of this poor kid.
"Give me your gold, old man!" If you're gonna pull that, you better hope they don't know karate.
Where would you find a reality show called "Who's your daddy?" Only on Fox...squeezed between When Animals Attack and World's Scariest Police Chases 7, no doubt.
Santa arrested for drug dealing! Say it ain't so! At least he'll get to experience someone coming down his chimney for a change.
Heart Surgeon doesn't want a McDonald's in the middle of his hospital. I say, why not? At least they'll be close when they have a heart attack...we're talking a one stop shop here.
Well, I've definitely found one thing I DON'T want for Christmas.
If you have your gieger counter, you could go make 2,500 dollars in reward money in Colorado.
"Nudity isn't me," says Lindsey Lohan as she poses for the cover of Entertainment Weekly wearing just pantyhose. Well, I guess pantyhose is clothing...technically...
The Oxford dictionary has decided to get with the times and add such words as "hoochie" and "crack ho"...word.
A lingerie store will have pole dancing strippers in their front window to attract clients this Christmas season. You know, that would work for lots of other stores, like Best Buy or Barnes and Noble...
Let me get this straight...the Canadian Prime Minister doesn't want to put any money into our missile defense system, not have any missiles located on their land but wants to have a say in how it's done? Can we start an embargo against these people?
Remember that cop who liked to urinate in the elevator? Turns out he suffers from a medical condition...although I'm not sure stupidity really qualifies.
Well, you learn something new everyday. Apparently, grenade fragment armor isn't the same as bullet armor...the guy in this story learned the lesson too...but he really doesn't have time to implement it now.
I don't actually need your help in finding links as I seem to have that pretty well handled...no, you see, Vicky complained that I was getting repetious with the title and that I should have a permanent name for this "newsletter." We can't have Vicky complaining, so I decided that it's a good idea to have a name. Hey, I'm a people pleaser, and if you don't like that, go to hell. Seriously, if you have any suggestions on what I should call this instead of generic "Links", please drop me an email with your ideas. If you come up with something good and I use it, you'll be rewarded with loads of glowing praise from yours truly. Well, that, or half the profit I make from this email...your choice. Anyways, here's da links.
Gillette seeks to increase razor sales to women with their new vibrating razor...and to cut into the profit of adult sex toy stores too, apparently.
Hehe...it's only about 2 years too late, but this little flash movie is pretty damn funny.
Zee Germans want more Rammstein and less Britney Spears. I'm o.k. with that, but only if they stop sending us their German shize porn videos.
It's nice they got a scholarly opinion on the McRib...no, tax money isn't being wasted on wasteful things like educating students or anything.
This is a rather creepy interview from Jessica and Ashley Simpson's father...but hey, the man's right.
Living in an airport would suck...but given the choice between that or Kenya? At least the airport has a Starbucks.
Hehe...looks like they've been adding some more pictures of this poor kid.
"Give me your gold, old man!" If you're gonna pull that, you better hope they don't know karate.
Where would you find a reality show called "Who's your daddy?" Only on Fox...squeezed between When Animals Attack and World's Scariest Police Chases 7, no doubt.
Santa arrested for drug dealing! Say it ain't so! At least he'll get to experience someone coming down his chimney for a change.
Heart Surgeon doesn't want a McDonald's in the middle of his hospital. I say, why not? At least they'll be close when they have a heart attack...we're talking a one stop shop here.
Well, I've definitely found one thing I DON'T want for Christmas.
If you have your gieger counter, you could go make 2,500 dollars in reward money in Colorado.
"Nudity isn't me," says Lindsey Lohan as she poses for the cover of Entertainment Weekly wearing just pantyhose. Well, I guess pantyhose is clothing...technically...
The Oxford dictionary has decided to get with the times and add such words as "hoochie" and "crack ho"...word.
A lingerie store will have pole dancing strippers in their front window to attract clients this Christmas season. You know, that would work for lots of other stores, like Best Buy or Barnes and Noble...
Let me get this straight...the Canadian Prime Minister doesn't want to put any money into our missile defense system, not have any missiles located on their land but wants to have a say in how it's done? Can we start an embargo against these people?
Remember that cop who liked to urinate in the elevator? Turns out he suffers from a medical condition...although I'm not sure stupidity really qualifies.
Well, you learn something new everyday. Apparently, grenade fragment armor isn't the same as bullet armor...the guy in this story learned the lesson too...but he really doesn't have time to implement it now.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
I was listening to a 70's station this morning when this song by Carly Simon came on, "You're so Vain." The main lyric is,"You're so vain/I bet you think this song is about you/don't you, don't you?" Isn't the fact that she's asking a question evidence that the song is, in fact, about him? Is she being ironic in this song or just stupid? Maybe this is just an example of female logic.
Have you ever wondered what those rich geeks who made a mint off the tech bubble do for fun?
This is an example of how not to play a practical joke. Dressing up like a terrorist and scaring people with guns isn't the safest pasttime.
Well...there you go. Yet another public service completed due to that miracle drink, alcohol.
Double your pleasure, double your fun...
This article isn't all that great...I just like the headline...
Doesn't getting married usually result in this already?
Hehe...hoist by his own petard...err...ducttape. This is what should happen to criminals. We need to bring the stocks back.
Ahhh yes...wise words to live by. Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow.
This sounds like the new fat excuse...you know, the I'm not fat, I'm big boned? It's not a toom-mah!
Wow...maybe Blockbuster isn't an evil empire afterall. The thing is, without late fees, how will they possibly make a profit? Oh yeah...the 5 dollar rental fees...
What the heck? Man bites dog? What kind of psycho is this guy? He looks like a member of N Sync, too.
Yeah, I'd have to pass on dipping my willy into a scalding hot cup of tea. What good is a million bucks gonna do if that don't work?
Looks like Denny Neagle's hook up with an hooker is going to disqualify his name being on a new baseball field. Well, let's just hope they don't name it after Barry Bonds.
Here's a follow up to that silly story about that girl getting arrested for carrying scissors to school. Cops said,"Sorry, our bad."
This judge thought he was the second coming of Al Jolson. He should know only Ted Danson can get away with doing a blackface routine...after all, he's a liberal.
Hehe...the obligatory "Japanese people are crazy" link of the day. If they really want to learn how to truly say the word Ho, they need to listen to more rap music.
Yeah, I can see how you could accidentally distribute a satanic sex calendar to Junior High School kids. Apparently, this school police officer CAN'T READ!!!
Now THAT'S a bonfire. I love this quote,"He loves children and he's beating himself up pretty bad. It was just a freak accident." Oh yeah, who knew a plastic container with diesel fuel thrown onto a raging fire would explode. Seriously, what are the odds?
Useless study of the day: Women with breast implants have higher suicide risk. Luckily, drowning themselves is almost impossible.
Lesson number 42 in selling drugs; do NOT use a sheriff's front yard as your exchange point.
Have you ever wondered what those rich geeks who made a mint off the tech bubble do for fun?
This is an example of how not to play a practical joke. Dressing up like a terrorist and scaring people with guns isn't the safest pasttime.
Well...there you go. Yet another public service completed due to that miracle drink, alcohol.
Double your pleasure, double your fun...
This article isn't all that great...I just like the headline...
Doesn't getting married usually result in this already?
Hehe...hoist by his own petard...err...ducttape. This is what should happen to criminals. We need to bring the stocks back.
Ahhh yes...wise words to live by. Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow.
This sounds like the new fat excuse...you know, the I'm not fat, I'm big boned? It's not a toom-mah!
Wow...maybe Blockbuster isn't an evil empire afterall. The thing is, without late fees, how will they possibly make a profit? Oh yeah...the 5 dollar rental fees...
What the heck? Man bites dog? What kind of psycho is this guy? He looks like a member of N Sync, too.
Yeah, I'd have to pass on dipping my willy into a scalding hot cup of tea. What good is a million bucks gonna do if that don't work?
Looks like Denny Neagle's hook up with an hooker is going to disqualify his name being on a new baseball field. Well, let's just hope they don't name it after Barry Bonds.
Here's a follow up to that silly story about that girl getting arrested for carrying scissors to school. Cops said,"Sorry, our bad."
This judge thought he was the second coming of Al Jolson. He should know only Ted Danson can get away with doing a blackface routine...after all, he's a liberal.
Hehe...the obligatory "Japanese people are crazy" link of the day. If they really want to learn how to truly say the word Ho, they need to listen to more rap music.
Yeah, I can see how you could accidentally distribute a satanic sex calendar to Junior High School kids. Apparently, this school police officer CAN'T READ!!!
Now THAT'S a bonfire. I love this quote,"He loves children and he's beating himself up pretty bad. It was just a freak accident." Oh yeah, who knew a plastic container with diesel fuel thrown onto a raging fire would explode. Seriously, what are the odds?
Useless study of the day: Women with breast implants have higher suicide risk. Luckily, drowning themselves is almost impossible.
Lesson number 42 in selling drugs; do NOT use a sheriff's front yard as your exchange point.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Damn...Santa went off on a ho, ho ho!
Jean Claude Van Damme demonstrates his humility while claiming to be a superhero...yeah, maybe Aquaman.
This is pretty funny. A Hummer2 managed to get caught onto a tree stump and had to be rescued by an old jeep.
I'd make fun of these "bear guys," but the guy in yellow looks like he could kick my ass...so I'll have to just snicker behind his back.
Ladies...would you like to collect child support without that pesky child to take care of? Check this story out.
Oh sure...a private bowling alley is a pretty good gift, but it can't compare with my 20 dollar gift certificate for Sam Goody!
Hey...if Trishelle from MTV Real World can sell herself on ebay, why not a judge?
This might be a joke...but how long before it becomes a serious movement? Especially with those clowns at PETA campaigning for fish rights.
Damn...that's the second biggest baseball bat I've ever seen.
Ozzy Osborne to star in the musical stage version of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang...I for once have nothing to say. How do you top that?
The good news is Tom Wolfe won a sex award...the bad news is, well...
What a freak accident...I'd feel really bad for the guy if he wasn't a Frenchman...so I'll just laugh at him instead.
Just in case you were looking for the best heroin in the states...road trip to New Jersey!
I think this is what happened to the A-Team. Damn that Colonel Decker! Why can't you just leave B.A., Hannibal, Face and Murdock alone!
I guess this goes to show that any man that represents himself has a fool for a lawyer. Schmuck.
Wonderbras recalled due to them exploding open...what a silly reason.
Wow...a deer managed to go through the front windshield, through the passenger area and out the back window...that would be the coolest thing you would ever see.
It's nice that you can still be rude in this country and not get sued. Still, I'd be careful about pissing off Jason Voorhies mother...he can't be stopped with conventional weapons and he's really good with a machete.
Hey Carol...if living in Chicago gets too expensive, you could always try this form of cheap housing.
This is a good way to go out...with a song!
It's the most deadliest time of the year,
with the blood flow a slowing
your hearts will be blowing
they'll be no next yeeeaaaar!!!!
it's the most deadliest time of the year.
Jean Claude Van Damme demonstrates his humility while claiming to be a superhero...yeah, maybe Aquaman.
This is pretty funny. A Hummer2 managed to get caught onto a tree stump and had to be rescued by an old jeep.
I'd make fun of these "bear guys," but the guy in yellow looks like he could kick my ass...so I'll have to just snicker behind his back.
Ladies...would you like to collect child support without that pesky child to take care of? Check this story out.
Oh sure...a private bowling alley is a pretty good gift, but it can't compare with my 20 dollar gift certificate for Sam Goody!
Hey...if Trishelle from MTV Real World can sell herself on ebay, why not a judge?
This might be a joke...but how long before it becomes a serious movement? Especially with those clowns at PETA campaigning for fish rights.
Damn...that's the second biggest baseball bat I've ever seen.
Ozzy Osborne to star in the musical stage version of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang...I for once have nothing to say. How do you top that?
The good news is Tom Wolfe won a sex award...the bad news is, well...
What a freak accident...I'd feel really bad for the guy if he wasn't a Frenchman...so I'll just laugh at him instead.
Just in case you were looking for the best heroin in the states...road trip to New Jersey!
I think this is what happened to the A-Team. Damn that Colonel Decker! Why can't you just leave B.A., Hannibal, Face and Murdock alone!
I guess this goes to show that any man that represents himself has a fool for a lawyer. Schmuck.
Wonderbras recalled due to them exploding open...what a silly reason.
Wow...a deer managed to go through the front windshield, through the passenger area and out the back window...that would be the coolest thing you would ever see.
It's nice that you can still be rude in this country and not get sued. Still, I'd be careful about pissing off Jason Voorhies mother...he can't be stopped with conventional weapons and he's really good with a machete.
Hey Carol...if living in Chicago gets too expensive, you could always try this form of cheap housing.
This is a good way to go out...with a song!
It's the most deadliest time of the year,
with the blood flow a slowing
your hearts will be blowing
they'll be no next yeeeaaaar!!!!
it's the most deadliest time of the year.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Poor Scott Peterson...if only he had shown remorse, the jury would have let him off the hook. I guess he never read Alber Camus' "the Stranger"...
You know those creepy ipod advertisements with the bright colors and the shadowy figures? Apparently you can make your own...for a small fee.
I guess China watches Fox for inspiration. I know I never miss The Swan. I'm sure Moody would like this competition; he loves what he refers to as "after market asians."
Rule # 2 in bank robbing...DO NOT write your name on the back of a stick up note.
Have you ever wanted to know how to pull off gang signs in the correct fashion? Well, here's your chance.
I'm really not a big fan of soccer...but I love soccer jerseys. How can you not? Especially with jerseys like the Sports Boys of Peru.
Screw you Brent Bozell! Grand Theft Auto isn't damaging to the youths of America...it's a potent crime fighter!
Is it just me, or does this plan for traffic lights sound like a recipe for disaster? I mean, it would take, what, 5 minutes for some punk hackers to figure out how the destroy traffic all day long.
I'm not sure if this is real...but COOL!
I think we're gonna need a bigger boat...
I dunno how safe this is giving coffee to elephants...I mean, it'll stunt their growth.
The "Japanese people are entirely crazy" link of the day...pillows shaped like a woman's lap.
This may be the dumbest arrest of all time...this is what we get when you combine that stupid zero tolerance policy and CSWB. "Carrying Scissors While Black."
This guy is bad ass...not only is he still serving in the army at 70 years old in Afghanistan...he's also an oral surgeon. I wouldn't mess with him...
The lesson of this story seems to be, never help out a supermodel. You'll regret it.
Apparently the animal kingdom didn't get my message either...Old people will fuck you up.
I'm not entirely surprised by this...after all, those can, do, those who can't, teach. Apparently, we've reached the point where those who can't teach go to Florida.
Is that a snake in your package, or are you just happy to see me?
This story is just bizarre...until you factor in that it happened in Ireland. Let's just say a lot of drinking goes on in Ireland.
I'm so glad I don't smoke...because it's only a matter of time before the idiots in charge of our state pull something like this. At least this will encourage the black market cigarette sales...
And for the last link...here' s a list of trends to invest and lose your money in this new year 2005.
You know those creepy ipod advertisements with the bright colors and the shadowy figures? Apparently you can make your own...for a small fee.
I guess China watches Fox for inspiration. I know I never miss The Swan. I'm sure Moody would like this competition; he loves what he refers to as "after market asians."
Rule # 2 in bank robbing...DO NOT write your name on the back of a stick up note.
Have you ever wanted to know how to pull off gang signs in the correct fashion? Well, here's your chance.
I'm really not a big fan of soccer...but I love soccer jerseys. How can you not? Especially with jerseys like the Sports Boys of Peru.
Screw you Brent Bozell! Grand Theft Auto isn't damaging to the youths of America...it's a potent crime fighter!
Is it just me, or does this plan for traffic lights sound like a recipe for disaster? I mean, it would take, what, 5 minutes for some punk hackers to figure out how the destroy traffic all day long.
I'm not sure if this is real...but COOL!
I think we're gonna need a bigger boat...
I dunno how safe this is giving coffee to elephants...I mean, it'll stunt their growth.
The "Japanese people are entirely crazy" link of the day...pillows shaped like a woman's lap.
This may be the dumbest arrest of all time...this is what we get when you combine that stupid zero tolerance policy and CSWB. "Carrying Scissors While Black."
This guy is bad ass...not only is he still serving in the army at 70 years old in Afghanistan...he's also an oral surgeon. I wouldn't mess with him...
The lesson of this story seems to be, never help out a supermodel. You'll regret it.
Apparently the animal kingdom didn't get my message either...Old people will fuck you up.
I'm not entirely surprised by this...after all, those can, do, those who can't, teach. Apparently, we've reached the point where those who can't teach go to Florida.
Is that a snake in your package, or are you just happy to see me?
This story is just bizarre...until you factor in that it happened in Ireland. Let's just say a lot of drinking goes on in Ireland.
I'm so glad I don't smoke...because it's only a matter of time before the idiots in charge of our state pull something like this. At least this will encourage the black market cigarette sales...
And for the last link...here' s a list of trends to invest and lose your money in this new year 2005.
Monday, December 13, 2004
I hope everyone had a good weekend. Mine was quite fun...in fact, I need another day or so off to recover. If you only check out one link, you need to see the Rock, Paper, Scissors link. You'd think it was a joke...but you'd be wrong.
This looks like my place after a Thursday night of my friends over...well except for all the facial hair. I'm pretty clean shaven.
Have you ever heard how they say that Hitler decided to take over the world and murder lots of people because he was a failed artist? This helps out the theory a bit.
Well, now we have the official Father of the Year award recipient. People are so naturally good, it makes me cry.
You may have seen or heard about this...but if not, watch and learn. This is a good example of how not to be a parent.
I guess mailmen all over the world are crazy bastards. Still, how much of this undelivered mail was actual correspondence? Surely you don't need 2,000 credit card applications.
I'm glad that I finally figured out who this Tommy Lee guy is...of course, I originally had THOUGHT he was a porn star. Go figure.
I'm gonna have to be careful the next time I walk into Starbucks next time. That, or just ask them to hold the animal droppings...if you wanna buy some...well, go here. Sicko.
It's no surprise being a computer geek isn't good for your sex life...but this will make me think twice about using my laptop. O.K., thought about it. It's worth it.
Italian shoe firm inspired by Punky Brewster now selling shoes individually. There's this one time I went out with two different shoes on...you know what? Let's just let that one go.
Hehe...I have a friend that once tried to use a driver's license from a go cart racing place as a real I.D., but this is inspired.
Yet another reason to be proud to be an American. This is why the British are a bunch of pussies...they're not even allowed to defend their own home.
This is interesting...a court actually refused to let a man get divorced again...stating he wasn't enough of a celebrity, probably.
This story is great. A Yankee fan faked an injury in order to watch game 7 of the ALCS...actually, let me quote, in his words, "Girlfriends come and go, but these kind of games only come once in a lifetime."
My dad used to send his car payment to Wells Fargo by spitting on the check, slapping the pay slip on top, then repeatedly stapling the envelope that is clearly marked, "Do Not Staple." As you can tell, he wasn't a fan of the bank. I think this man took things to a whole other level...as only a head doctor can.
Hmmm...I wonder if Ron Artest is now going to do a commercial saying,"I AM a role model. If someone messes with you, jump into the stands and fuck him up! But if you want great prices on all the new electronics and games, not to mention my new album, come to Circuit City!"
Gee...this story about anime catching on is only about 20 years too late. I guess they missed out on that whole Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Transformers, Voltron, Robotech, Speed Racer stuff that's been on television since I've been alive.
Here's a funny story about a man with no sense of humor...who is probably a paranoid fool.
Sometimes I think the Russians are on to something, but then I realize they're a bunch of commie losers. But still, really, what good is a car alarm? Do you run and call the cops when an alarm goes off?
Damn...those Muslims are even taking over Italy. At least they're pissing off the Vatican...they have that going for them.
I wanna be called Master Roshambollah...but I suck at Rock, Paper, Scissors. Just in case you thought that curling was the stupidest sport of all time... Speaking of which...he Brett...is that Ben Stein a stage name? I didn't know you were in the World RPS Society! If you'd like to compete, be sure to try the online trainer. Man...this site is the gift that keeps on giving. O.K., I promsie, this is the last one. But come on, Saddam playing Rock, Paper, Scissors!
In some actual good news, it appears they may have found a way to cure tuberculosis...no really, no joke.
This looks like my place after a Thursday night of my friends over...well except for all the facial hair. I'm pretty clean shaven.
Have you ever heard how they say that Hitler decided to take over the world and murder lots of people because he was a failed artist? This helps out the theory a bit.
Well, now we have the official Father of the Year award recipient. People are so naturally good, it makes me cry.
You may have seen or heard about this...but if not, watch and learn. This is a good example of how not to be a parent.
I guess mailmen all over the world are crazy bastards. Still, how much of this undelivered mail was actual correspondence? Surely you don't need 2,000 credit card applications.
I'm glad that I finally figured out who this Tommy Lee guy is...of course, I originally had THOUGHT he was a porn star. Go figure.
I'm gonna have to be careful the next time I walk into Starbucks next time. That, or just ask them to hold the animal droppings...if you wanna buy some...well, go here. Sicko.
It's no surprise being a computer geek isn't good for your sex life...but this will make me think twice about using my laptop. O.K., thought about it. It's worth it.
Italian shoe firm inspired by Punky Brewster now selling shoes individually. There's this one time I went out with two different shoes on...you know what? Let's just let that one go.
Hehe...I have a friend that once tried to use a driver's license from a go cart racing place as a real I.D., but this is inspired.
Yet another reason to be proud to be an American. This is why the British are a bunch of pussies...they're not even allowed to defend their own home.
This is interesting...a court actually refused to let a man get divorced again...stating he wasn't enough of a celebrity, probably.
This story is great. A Yankee fan faked an injury in order to watch game 7 of the ALCS...actually, let me quote, in his words, "Girlfriends come and go, but these kind of games only come once in a lifetime."
My dad used to send his car payment to Wells Fargo by spitting on the check, slapping the pay slip on top, then repeatedly stapling the envelope that is clearly marked, "Do Not Staple." As you can tell, he wasn't a fan of the bank. I think this man took things to a whole other level...as only a head doctor can.
Hmmm...I wonder if Ron Artest is now going to do a commercial saying,"I AM a role model. If someone messes with you, jump into the stands and fuck him up! But if you want great prices on all the new electronics and games, not to mention my new album, come to Circuit City!"
Gee...this story about anime catching on is only about 20 years too late. I guess they missed out on that whole Pokemon, Yu-Gi-Oh, Transformers, Voltron, Robotech, Speed Racer stuff that's been on television since I've been alive.
Here's a funny story about a man with no sense of humor...who is probably a paranoid fool.
Sometimes I think the Russians are on to something, but then I realize they're a bunch of commie losers. But still, really, what good is a car alarm? Do you run and call the cops when an alarm goes off?
Damn...those Muslims are even taking over Italy. At least they're pissing off the Vatican...they have that going for them.
I wanna be called Master Roshambollah...but I suck at Rock, Paper, Scissors. Just in case you thought that curling was the stupidest sport of all time... Speaking of which...he Brett...is that Ben Stein a stage name? I didn't know you were in the World RPS Society! If you'd like to compete, be sure to try the online trainer. Man...this site is the gift that keeps on giving. O.K., I promsie, this is the last one. But come on, Saddam playing Rock, Paper, Scissors!
In some actual good news, it appears they may have found a way to cure tuberculosis...no really, no joke.
Friday, December 10, 2004
Finally...Friday is here. Enjoy it while it lasts.
This reminds me of last weekend...at least I didn't have sushi.
Yet another foolish criminal that has yet to head my warning...Old people will fuck you up.
Just in case you were thinking of jumping onto the bandwagon of the next big movement...it seems it's nudism.
O.K., now that's pretty funny. If the Vatican is mad about it, that's a good sign.
Well, there you go. Left handers not only write funny, they're also more prone to homicidal tendencies. Probably due to using a right handed can opener all the time.
I think George Costanza tried this defense once to prove he wasn't gay...not that there's anything wrong with it...
Dude, I bet Winston would like this article.
Wow...you do this in Russia and you get arrested. You do this on MTV and they give you a television show.
Man attacks clerk with a burger. Hmmm...with what those creepy faux hamburgers are made out of in AM/PM, I wonder if they can charge him with assault with a deadly weapon.
This guy thinks he's found Atlantis in Tampa, Florida. Disney soon to buy up island and start a new theme park.
Somehow this story about fertilizer didn't come out of CBS.
Well, my last fortune said,"Do not dwell on differences with a loved one-try a compromise." I like these ones better.
Something tells me Santa is putting this kid on his naughty list for next year. Threatening to cut off people's heads usually isn't very nice.
If this is her idea of a column, she's too stupid to go to college.
Hmmm...could this be why ODB died? Usually, when you swallow a big bag of cocaine, bad things happen.
It must be Christmas time...because everyone is trying to piss off the Vatican. Hey, let's make fun of the immaculate conception!
Jeez...what is this guy driving? The Batmobile? How do you not notice a guy on the hood of your car?
Finally, a politican doing something useful. Actually, I think theatres should do this on their own, but if they're too useless, then let's start handing out some fines!
Hehe...I guess back in the 13th century, penises really did grow on trees...
It's nice to know Phoenix has such intelligent officials. I think he was inspired by Teen Wolf and attempted to surf on the top of his car...in other words...Evolution in Action.
This reminds me of last weekend...at least I didn't have sushi.
Yet another foolish criminal that has yet to head my warning...Old people will fuck you up.
Just in case you were thinking of jumping onto the bandwagon of the next big movement...it seems it's nudism.
O.K., now that's pretty funny. If the Vatican is mad about it, that's a good sign.
Well, there you go. Left handers not only write funny, they're also more prone to homicidal tendencies. Probably due to using a right handed can opener all the time.
I think George Costanza tried this defense once to prove he wasn't gay...not that there's anything wrong with it...
Dude, I bet Winston would like this article.
Wow...you do this in Russia and you get arrested. You do this on MTV and they give you a television show.
Man attacks clerk with a burger. Hmmm...with what those creepy faux hamburgers are made out of in AM/PM, I wonder if they can charge him with assault with a deadly weapon.
This guy thinks he's found Atlantis in Tampa, Florida. Disney soon to buy up island and start a new theme park.
Somehow this story about fertilizer didn't come out of CBS.
Well, my last fortune said,"Do not dwell on differences with a loved one-try a compromise." I like these ones better.
Something tells me Santa is putting this kid on his naughty list for next year. Threatening to cut off people's heads usually isn't very nice.
If this is her idea of a column, she's too stupid to go to college.
Hmmm...could this be why ODB died? Usually, when you swallow a big bag of cocaine, bad things happen.
It must be Christmas time...because everyone is trying to piss off the Vatican. Hey, let's make fun of the immaculate conception!
Jeez...what is this guy driving? The Batmobile? How do you not notice a guy on the hood of your car?
Finally, a politican doing something useful. Actually, I think theatres should do this on their own, but if they're too useless, then let's start handing out some fines!
Hehe...I guess back in the 13th century, penises really did grow on trees...
It's nice to know Phoenix has such intelligent officials. I think he was inspired by Teen Wolf and attempted to surf on the top of his car...in other words...Evolution in Action.
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Remember when you were a kid and they told you not to shove crayons up your nose? This guy never learned that lesson.
For those morbid people out there...unless you're into this sort of thing. Still, those torturers were much more creative than you might think.
This is why America should start taking up smoking again. It's done wonders for the European's physique.
Parents are upset about a sex-ed class giving links to pornography on the internet. Blame Canada, indeed.
I wonder if Naomi Campbell has been teaching these moves to Ron Artest? They'd make a great couple...
This is usually how I travel, eh...
Not for the faint of heart. Babe fights a python, and the python won. That'll do, pig, that'll do.
At least Angelina Jolie had fun making Alexander...I experienced something much different sitting through it...come to think of it, it was probably much like Colin Farrell in this story.
Crime does not pay...mostly because criminals are extremely stupid...
This doesn't sound good...it's not like you can call AAA up in space. OnStar ain't doing you any good without a repair kit.
Wow...jello shots in elementary school? The worst we got was old issues of Playboy...that I sold for a tidy profit...
Huh...japanese women are exporting themselves out for sex...great, how the hell is America gonna compete with that? They're smaller, faster AND more efficient.
Cool! They found Xena, warrior princess in Iran! No sign of lesbian mate, though.
Great...it was only a matter of time before telemarketers went postal. Wouldn't you, with a crappy job like that? The only thing we can do to avoid a crisis is to start hunting them down and killing them now.
This guy attempted to commit suicide with gas, but instead managed to blow up his entire house AND somehow survive. What a total failure he is.
Wow...that cat has more degrees and education than I do! Somebody forward this to Jack...
Jeez, this kid sure one ups Dennis the Menace. I used to get grounded, but it never involved a judge.
Well, I'm all for banning Catcher in the Rye...not because of it's subersive elements, but because it's a crappy book. Shouldn't they be reading Shakespeare or something?
Man wants to build a replica Sandcrawler from Star Wars in his yard. Says a disembodied voice told him,"If you build it, jawas will come." The sad part is that he has 6 kids.
This column by my favorite sports writer is pure comedy...and it has nothing whatsoever to do with sports. Enjoy.
For those morbid people out there...unless you're into this sort of thing. Still, those torturers were much more creative than you might think.
This is why America should start taking up smoking again. It's done wonders for the European's physique.
Parents are upset about a sex-ed class giving links to pornography on the internet. Blame Canada, indeed.
I wonder if Naomi Campbell has been teaching these moves to Ron Artest? They'd make a great couple...
This is usually how I travel, eh...
Not for the faint of heart. Babe fights a python, and the python won. That'll do, pig, that'll do.
At least Angelina Jolie had fun making Alexander...I experienced something much different sitting through it...come to think of it, it was probably much like Colin Farrell in this story.
Crime does not pay...mostly because criminals are extremely stupid...
This doesn't sound good...it's not like you can call AAA up in space. OnStar ain't doing you any good without a repair kit.
Wow...jello shots in elementary school? The worst we got was old issues of Playboy...that I sold for a tidy profit...
Huh...japanese women are exporting themselves out for sex...great, how the hell is America gonna compete with that? They're smaller, faster AND more efficient.
Cool! They found Xena, warrior princess in Iran! No sign of lesbian mate, though.
Great...it was only a matter of time before telemarketers went postal. Wouldn't you, with a crappy job like that? The only thing we can do to avoid a crisis is to start hunting them down and killing them now.
This guy attempted to commit suicide with gas, but instead managed to blow up his entire house AND somehow survive. What a total failure he is.
Wow...that cat has more degrees and education than I do! Somebody forward this to Jack...
Jeez, this kid sure one ups Dennis the Menace. I used to get grounded, but it never involved a judge.
Well, I'm all for banning Catcher in the Rye...not because of it's subersive elements, but because it's a crappy book. Shouldn't they be reading Shakespeare or something?
Man wants to build a replica Sandcrawler from Star Wars in his yard. Says a disembodied voice told him,"If you build it, jawas will come." The sad part is that he has 6 kids.
This column by my favorite sports writer is pure comedy...and it has nothing whatsoever to do with sports. Enjoy.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
I hate computers! Especially when I'm helping my dad with a problem over the phone.
Now this is cool...Pretty soon you won't have to do any sort of activity to surf the net.
Hey Marlon, there's hope for you yet. Maybe they can use some of that spare tire you have around your waist.
Cheech and Chong were apparently trying to help out the less needy...I'm sure it was for medical purposes, of course.
What do you do when a drunk, half naked woman walks into your house? Call the cops, apparently.
Wow...I don't know how I missed out on this tourist attraction when I was driving up north last time. I wonder if they decorate it for Christmas?
This girl needs to win the Sister of the Year award. If I was going to dispose of my brother, I'd at least bury him...with lime.
For those of you who still can't accept that George Bush won re-election, here's a new conspiracy for you to follow...
This story is just bizarre...I guess those email scams just aren't working out very well; they've been reduced to stealing coffins.
I'm sure this guy is all broken up about his divorce, too. Well, those 20 million dollars should keep him warm at night...
...speaking of awards...here is our Grandma of the Year award. I love this quote,"She also stated that she would rather be in jail than take care of these children," an investigator wrote in the affidavit.
Didn't Fox try this and fail miserably? Well, I wouldn't be surprised if they were married 50 years from now. Of course, I wouldn't be surprised if they pull a Britney Spears either.
O.K., they gave peace a chance. Now what? Did I mention I was going to Thailand next year?
Uhhhh....right. Kelly Osborne is just big boned; it works for Eric Cartman.
Hehe, that crazy Sprewell. Maybe if he practiced that "sex act" he was referring to, well, it's one way to feed your family.
Hmmm...the Mary Kay Letourneau of the week...with a twist. I like the whole lesbian/pagan rituals angle added. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to fit my criteria; I only support gay marriage if both the chicks are hot.
So, who wants to run a start up company in China?
I dunno...that sounds like a lot of oral history with Ted Kennedy. I mean, how many rape charges do we need to hear about at the Kennedy Compound, anyways?
Wow...I guess there is a whole lotta money in online casinos...the ghost cane AND the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich...they need to set up a cabinet of curiosities somewhere, maybe next to the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
Hey! I finally found out who that guy Tommy Lee is! Look, he's even reuniting with his band...I hope they tour in Los Angeles!
Yeah, I don't understand either. Why wouldn't you want to give a hunting license to a man who can distinguish between a deer and another hunter? It makes things more exciting out there.
Now this is cool...Pretty soon you won't have to do any sort of activity to surf the net.
Hey Marlon, there's hope for you yet. Maybe they can use some of that spare tire you have around your waist.
Cheech and Chong were apparently trying to help out the less needy...I'm sure it was for medical purposes, of course.
What do you do when a drunk, half naked woman walks into your house? Call the cops, apparently.
Wow...I don't know how I missed out on this tourist attraction when I was driving up north last time. I wonder if they decorate it for Christmas?
This girl needs to win the Sister of the Year award. If I was going to dispose of my brother, I'd at least bury him...with lime.
For those of you who still can't accept that George Bush won re-election, here's a new conspiracy for you to follow...
This story is just bizarre...I guess those email scams just aren't working out very well; they've been reduced to stealing coffins.
I'm sure this guy is all broken up about his divorce, too. Well, those 20 million dollars should keep him warm at night...
...speaking of awards...here is our Grandma of the Year award. I love this quote,"She also stated that she would rather be in jail than take care of these children," an investigator wrote in the affidavit.
Didn't Fox try this and fail miserably? Well, I wouldn't be surprised if they were married 50 years from now. Of course, I wouldn't be surprised if they pull a Britney Spears either.
O.K., they gave peace a chance. Now what? Did I mention I was going to Thailand next year?
Uhhhh....right. Kelly Osborne is just big boned; it works for Eric Cartman.
Hehe, that crazy Sprewell. Maybe if he practiced that "sex act" he was referring to, well, it's one way to feed your family.
Hmmm...the Mary Kay Letourneau of the week...with a twist. I like the whole lesbian/pagan rituals angle added. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to fit my criteria; I only support gay marriage if both the chicks are hot.
So, who wants to run a start up company in China?
I dunno...that sounds like a lot of oral history with Ted Kennedy. I mean, how many rape charges do we need to hear about at the Kennedy Compound, anyways?
Wow...I guess there is a whole lotta money in online casinos...the ghost cane AND the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich...they need to set up a cabinet of curiosities somewhere, maybe next to the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota.
Hey! I finally found out who that guy Tommy Lee is! Look, he's even reuniting with his band...I hope they tour in Los Angeles!
Yeah, I don't understand either. Why wouldn't you want to give a hunting license to a man who can distinguish between a deer and another hunter? It makes things more exciting out there.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
I should say something interesting here...but I'm not going to today. Oh yeah, Happy Birthday, Tristan. Today is the day, right?
I don't remember stuff like this happening when I played little league baseball...maybe it only happens at hockey games; she was probably just trying to put it on the glass.
See what happens when the government gets involved in salaries? I'm glad I'm not German. Oh wait...my Mom's maiden name is Spiker...
Speaking of government efficiency...someone took National Treasure a little to seriously, I guess.
More great advice from this Tommy Lee guy...whoever he is.
Damn...now that's a celebration! I bet next time he just sticks with a fist pump.
Wow, that's the first time I've ever heard of a benevolent casino. I wonder how these three came up with this Mission Impossible style grift?
This is interesting...but I can understand it. I wish I had an escalator in my house.
I'm not sure Kevin Costner belongs on this list...I don't really think of him as cheesy...just sad and pathetic.
I"m not sure anybody would wear this unless they had to ride the short bus to school with the "exceptional" kids.
Yeah, I'd hate a book that helped jumpstart a dying tourist trade in my country too. God, I hate the French.
One more example that the Japanese are completely insane. Still, I love the condom outfits.
Here's an interesting one. Frenchman shot in the butt with his own rifle. Promptly surrenders. God, I hate the French.
This story about a man running off with the daughter of his fiancee makes me miss the Jerry Springer show.
Uh oh...I hope they're not on to me. It's a lot harder hiding a 7 foot statue than you think.
More ebay strangeness...I like how they start the sale with,"This is not a joke." Yes...yes it is.
What's up with Stevie Wonder doggin' on Eminem? He doesn't owe his success to poor black people; poor black people don't buy his albums! He owes his success to middle class wiggas who think he's cool and have lots of money to waste!
Well, I'm sure glad there are unions to fight for the little man on important subjects like dress code. I, for one, like to keep my shirt untucked too.
I guess this is their idea of rehabilitation in our prison systems. At least with games like Hitman, you know they're learning a new trade.
Yikes...if this is true, ladies, just say NO to Lima time!
Damn...too late to bid on this puppy. You're the best, around...
One more bit of fake news...about those bozos striking in New Jersey.
I don't remember stuff like this happening when I played little league baseball...maybe it only happens at hockey games; she was probably just trying to put it on the glass.
See what happens when the government gets involved in salaries? I'm glad I'm not German. Oh wait...my Mom's maiden name is Spiker...
Speaking of government efficiency...someone took National Treasure a little to seriously, I guess.
More great advice from this Tommy Lee guy...whoever he is.
Damn...now that's a celebration! I bet next time he just sticks with a fist pump.
Wow, that's the first time I've ever heard of a benevolent casino. I wonder how these three came up with this Mission Impossible style grift?
This is interesting...but I can understand it. I wish I had an escalator in my house.
I'm not sure Kevin Costner belongs on this list...I don't really think of him as cheesy...just sad and pathetic.
I"m not sure anybody would wear this unless they had to ride the short bus to school with the "exceptional" kids.
Yeah, I'd hate a book that helped jumpstart a dying tourist trade in my country too. God, I hate the French.
One more example that the Japanese are completely insane. Still, I love the condom outfits.
Here's an interesting one. Frenchman shot in the butt with his own rifle. Promptly surrenders. God, I hate the French.
This story about a man running off with the daughter of his fiancee makes me miss the Jerry Springer show.
Uh oh...I hope they're not on to me. It's a lot harder hiding a 7 foot statue than you think.
More ebay strangeness...I like how they start the sale with,"This is not a joke." Yes...yes it is.
What's up with Stevie Wonder doggin' on Eminem? He doesn't owe his success to poor black people; poor black people don't buy his albums! He owes his success to middle class wiggas who think he's cool and have lots of money to waste!
Well, I'm sure glad there are unions to fight for the little man on important subjects like dress code. I, for one, like to keep my shirt untucked too.
I guess this is their idea of rehabilitation in our prison systems. At least with games like Hitman, you know they're learning a new trade.
Yikes...if this is true, ladies, just say NO to Lima time!
Damn...too late to bid on this puppy. You're the best, around...
One more bit of fake news...about those bozos striking in New Jersey.
Monday, December 06, 2004
"This team is one execution away from being a very good basketball team."
-- Doc Rivers on the Celtics
Hehe...I still say Ricky Davis isn't that bad. I mean, he's no Ron Artest.
It's been a while since I've posted here on anything going on in my life for a while; that's mostly because I'm bitter about the blogspot crapping out in the middle of a long post. I guess I'll just have to keep them a little shorter. This weekend was the birthday celebration of 4 of our friends...yeah, that's just great. I think maybe we should just pick a day in the middle of the year and celebrate everyone's birthday and get it over with. Either way, we ended up going to K-town to a Korean bbq. Now, I dunno about you, but if you have to cook your own damn food, should it cost you over 30 bucks to have dinner? Imagine if they ACTUALLY cooked it for you...it would be 50 dollar Lawry's. Anyways, afterwards, since that bastard Marlon wanted to sing some crappy songs, we ended up going to some Korean kareoke bar. This is when soju became heavily involved...wow, what a terrible decision this was. Since I am barely over a really bad stomach flu that my little brother Grant gave to me while I was up north, pounding shot after shot of dangerous alcohol really wasn't the best thing to do. Needless to say, I didn't borrow that alcohol for very long...I left it in several bathrooms, in the parking lot, on the freeway, out front of my door...I couldn't even open the front door when I got back. Chow had to get my keys and unlock it before I fell down and passed out. Not good times...bad times. But before that, it was pretty cool. I mean, Marlon sang Wind of Change by the Scorpions...how bad could it have been? He also had to toss his cookies as well...luckily I didn't have to watch that. What was pretty funny was the fact that when I finally got back to my place and had to throw up a little more, that managed to get to Mr. T finally and he let loose on the other side. I was waiting for Chow to join in and recreate that barfing scene from Stand By Me...
-- Doc Rivers on the Celtics
Hehe...I still say Ricky Davis isn't that bad. I mean, he's no Ron Artest.
It's been a while since I've posted here on anything going on in my life for a while; that's mostly because I'm bitter about the blogspot crapping out in the middle of a long post. I guess I'll just have to keep them a little shorter. This weekend was the birthday celebration of 4 of our friends...yeah, that's just great. I think maybe we should just pick a day in the middle of the year and celebrate everyone's birthday and get it over with. Either way, we ended up going to K-town to a Korean bbq. Now, I dunno about you, but if you have to cook your own damn food, should it cost you over 30 bucks to have dinner? Imagine if they ACTUALLY cooked it for you...it would be 50 dollar Lawry's. Anyways, afterwards, since that bastard Marlon wanted to sing some crappy songs, we ended up going to some Korean kareoke bar. This is when soju became heavily involved...wow, what a terrible decision this was. Since I am barely over a really bad stomach flu that my little brother Grant gave to me while I was up north, pounding shot after shot of dangerous alcohol really wasn't the best thing to do. Needless to say, I didn't borrow that alcohol for very long...I left it in several bathrooms, in the parking lot, on the freeway, out front of my door...I couldn't even open the front door when I got back. Chow had to get my keys and unlock it before I fell down and passed out. Not good times...bad times. But before that, it was pretty cool. I mean, Marlon sang Wind of Change by the Scorpions...how bad could it have been? He also had to toss his cookies as well...luckily I didn't have to watch that. What was pretty funny was the fact that when I finally got back to my place and had to throw up a little more, that managed to get to Mr. T finally and he let loose on the other side. I was waiting for Chow to join in and recreate that barfing scene from Stand By Me...
Monday is here...oh goody. I hope you all had a good weekend. My public service announcement today would have to be this, don't drink soju. It's bad mojo.
You say napalm, I say Mark 77...it still blows shit up and then burns it to a crisp.
Some of you know about the fact that Tristan is a screenplay writer who has written a wonderful movie named Demon Slayer. I hear tell that he wrote another action packed movie recently under a pen name...I, for one, am excited to see this.
Hehe...poor Germans...no wonder they keep trying to take over the world. Penis envy.
We need to revoke this boy's manhood. Why the hell would he want to help out women on something as stupid as a toilet seat? They'll only find something else equally stupid to complain about.
That crazy Einstein...if he's so smart, why would he waste alcohol like this?
Apparently, all the Nazis moved to the Netherlands...them and the crazed film murdering muslims that aren't in Iraq. Don't get sick there, they may just decide to put you out of their misery.
Wow...I bow down to the Yale pranksters...We Suck, indeed.
This robber needs a class in gun safety. He could seriously hurt someone.
Movies online aren't usually my thing...but this guy is cool. I could spend 18 years and not finish a Rubix Cube, 18 seconds is impressive.
This is a case of god having a sense of humor. I'm sure this monk isn't laughing anymore, though.
It's called New York changing...but it hasn't changed much in 70 years.
Wow...this is cool...now all I need is a chicken.
Arrested for too much cheer? I guess they drink because their football teams stinks.
A marriage that was over before the reception? Britney Spears, eat your heart out. I think he got it wrong...you're supposed to marry a woman 15 years younger, not older. She looks like his high school teacher.
Uh huh...yeah, we used to play games like this in school too. My favorite was the "getting kicked in the head game."
I guess the saying should be amended, Nothing is sure in life except death and taxes...and traffic tickets.
Wow...first Directv, now this. Flying might actually not be torture in the near future. All they need now are those massaging chairs from Sharper Image.
I can understand the drunk driving on a tractor...but what's with the kitten?
This is a homeowner with some serious bad luck. Are you even insured from flaming tires?
A couple of criminals that haven't heeded my warning about old people...they'll fuck you up.
Hehe...yeah! Stick it to the man! These arrogant government officials; they can't reject legal tender for payment.
I suppose this beats collecting stamps...but you better hope nobody gets a hold of one.
You say napalm, I say Mark 77...it still blows shit up and then burns it to a crisp.
Some of you know about the fact that Tristan is a screenplay writer who has written a wonderful movie named Demon Slayer. I hear tell that he wrote another action packed movie recently under a pen name...I, for one, am excited to see this.
Hehe...poor Germans...no wonder they keep trying to take over the world. Penis envy.
We need to revoke this boy's manhood. Why the hell would he want to help out women on something as stupid as a toilet seat? They'll only find something else equally stupid to complain about.
That crazy Einstein...if he's so smart, why would he waste alcohol like this?
Apparently, all the Nazis moved to the Netherlands...them and the crazed film murdering muslims that aren't in Iraq. Don't get sick there, they may just decide to put you out of their misery.
Wow...I bow down to the Yale pranksters...We Suck, indeed.
This robber needs a class in gun safety. He could seriously hurt someone.
Movies online aren't usually my thing...but this guy is cool. I could spend 18 years and not finish a Rubix Cube, 18 seconds is impressive.
This is a case of god having a sense of humor. I'm sure this monk isn't laughing anymore, though.
It's called New York changing...but it hasn't changed much in 70 years.
Wow...this is cool...now all I need is a chicken.
Arrested for too much cheer? I guess they drink because their football teams stinks.
A marriage that was over before the reception? Britney Spears, eat your heart out. I think he got it wrong...you're supposed to marry a woman 15 years younger, not older. She looks like his high school teacher.
Uh huh...yeah, we used to play games like this in school too. My favorite was the "getting kicked in the head game."
I guess the saying should be amended, Nothing is sure in life except death and taxes...and traffic tickets.
Wow...first Directv, now this. Flying might actually not be torture in the near future. All they need now are those massaging chairs from Sharper Image.
I can understand the drunk driving on a tractor...but what's with the kitten?
This is a homeowner with some serious bad luck. Are you even insured from flaming tires?
A couple of criminals that haven't heeded my warning about old people...they'll fuck you up.
Hehe...yeah! Stick it to the man! These arrogant government officials; they can't reject legal tender for payment.
I suppose this beats collecting stamps...but you better hope nobody gets a hold of one.
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