I guess this was the youth vote that P. Diddy was trying to get out.

Speaking of P. Diddy or Puff Daddy or whatever the hell he wants to call himself, this shirt pretty much sums it up.

Hehe...speaking of the election, ebay never fails to surprise or entertain.

In case you didn't think government is an evil that must be stopped...take a look at this law.

Sure, I guess it beats waiting a month in line for Star Wars to open...but not by much.

I hope this catches on...there's nothing I enjoy more than watching commercials...

I don't see the big deal...she's far less sleezy than the lawyers in her courtroom. "Yes, your honor...punish me!"

An unsuccessful attempt at bringing the bartering system back into the mainstream. I am a little curious about the baseball bat, though. Did this guy walk around with one over his shoulder like a gang member out of that movie The Warriors?

Hehe...that's one way to give the finger...

Sigh...if only these people would move already and quit whining to the newspapers. We can't miss you if you don't leave!

Isn't that wonderful...ly selfish. When they're 10, she'll most likely be dead.

More stupid studies, at least not done with our tax dollars for once. Still, I could have told them this for free. Burgers=very cool. Carrots=rabbit food.

They should watch more porn starring Ron Jeremy. That should make them feel much better about themselves.

This just in...ABBA stays retired. Nobody really notices.

This I just can't believe. There's no way that such a well spoken and intelligent man such as he could be smoking pot.

While these guys need to get over themselves, this is the main reason men have stopped watching television. Well, that and Halo 2.

Yeah right...I can barely figure out how to send text messages. I'll stick to Snake, thank you very much.

Only in San Francisco...I guess cocaine is still pretty expensive. Still, I'd be happy to get a lap dance in order to contribute to a worthy cause like this.

Everyone needs goals. I think I broke the record for longest time in the lavatory the time I went to Egypt, already. Local food may be tasty, but you'll regret it later.

This organization needs to be stopped before they fully organize and form a resistance. Once united, they cannot be stopped!

And finally...these look like some fun destinations to visit when you're in New York, as long as you look out for the C.H.U.D.'s. And alligators.

Isn't this how the future was destroyed in the Terminator? We're all doomed. Doomed, I say!

Get in my belly! Hehe...you know, she could probably service both these guys without having to crouch or anything...

Life is just one damned thing after another.
-Elbert Hubbard

Damn straight...

Wow...I can't believe I've actually been consistent for about a week in posting on this stupid blog. Might as well keep it up. Last night I had yet another signing with these two yuppie professionals that were an interesting contrast to one another. The man...well, male of them, was this really anal new-age sensitive guy who literally had to read every page and his wife was extremely gruff and signed whatever was put in front of her in order to get it over with. I suppose they balance each other out. They also had these two dogs that must take the place of actual children in their lives. They talked about these dogs as though they were people or something. They were both in their 40s so an actual child probably wasn't likely; they seemed to self absorbed to be bothered with raising anything more complex than a puppy anyhow.

After a seeming eternity of paperwork, I finally extracated myself from their place and headed on down to the O.C., bitch! Sorry, ever since that show O.C. has been on the air, I have the urge to add that little expletive to the end of every mention of Orange County...bitch! I met up with Moody and we got some dinner and watched the Sacramento "Queens" get punked by the Seattle SuperSonics...actually, more punked by Danny Fortson in particular. This guy seemingly gets larger with each passing year. He looks to be about 400 pounds now and also has taken to wearing his dreadlocks into two little pony tails...which might be cute on a girl, but on a monstrous black guy...well, really, who's going to make fun of him? To his face, anyways. Moody's theory for this new fashion in basketball, as it seems that all dreadlocked individuals have been doing this, is that the league put some new rule in effect about long hair covering their jersey names. Sounds good enough for me, and at least it gives them the benefit of the doubt as opposed to them doing this voluntarily as a fashion statement. Of course, this is the sport where guys wear lime green suits with no buttons...

Afterwards, we went and watched the Incredibles as everyone has been raving about it. As Newjen told me before hand,"The Incredibles is pretty incredible!" I'd have to agree. It actually did live up to it's name as the storyline was very entertaining and managed to get you involved with the various characters as most Pixar films do. The action scenes were full of heart-pumping excitement...more so do to the fact that I cared what was happening. This is in direct contradiction with a movie like Van Helsing where there isn't a moment of quiet in it's entire run and you really stop caring what the hell is going on at about 20 minutes in. My personal favorite character was the sorely underused villian at the beginning named Bomb Voyage, who was a french mime that used explosives...If only he had been in it more. Moody loved Frozone, the character voiced by Samuel L. Jackson mostly because the guy was pretty much Iceman from the X-men except that he actually skated on the ice he created...he even put his hand behind his back like the Olympic skaters. All in all, a very good time. The preview for the next Pixar movie looked like crap, however. It's called "Cars" and it appears to be a world inhabited by those annoying talking cars from a Chevron commercial. I HATE those commercials. Oh well, they're due for a bad movie anyways.

Well, I may have to change my opinions on diets. This is one I can get on board with!

If you have problems with those damn aliens trying to control your mind like I do, then this site is a lifesaver! As a bonus, you get a jammin' new hat!

I have a pretty crappy phone, but this takes it to a whole new level.

This competition makes Curling and Golf seem exciting.

Oh boy...those wacky English people. I suppose this is what passes for humor over there. Don't worry if you don't laugh...it might only be funny of you're British.

Nice start, but they should have added a television and a playstation.

I'd make fun of this if I wasn't tempted to build one myself. To the bat poles!

I use the Thurston method myself, but I suppose whatever works.

That is the coolest thing I've ever seen! Ironically, their insurance policy didn't cover this incident.

Heh...I bet this guy had freezer burn. He certainly wasn't a Foster Farms chicken. We're Fugitives!

Whoops! I guess she doesn't believe in banks.

Wow...this guy should be in the circus, not in jail. How the hell do you swallow syringes?

Hey, I may be a meth-head, but I ain't no crack head!

Hehe...this is just too bizarre. At least they worked at an ice business so they had something to put on those bruises.

Well...ain't that a pisser.

Heh...Viagra even works on flowers. That's some powerful stuff. The rest of this article is pretty good.

We may have earthquakes, floods and fires here in California, but at least we don't get attacked by drunked Moose...or is it Meese?

I dunno about you, but if this guy wanted to show me his scrapbook, I'd have to decline.

For sale: A judgment that you can't collect on. I bet she has a bridge she'd like to sell you too.

I'm not quite sure I get this...I mean, monkeys don't use tampons! They're probably more into the pads.

Either this guy was real persuasive, or this cop was just that dumb. I'm leaning toward the latter.

What do you get when you try and cock-block a bear?

Word of caution...if somebody ever asks you to play "hot potato" while you're in the Middle East, just say No!

When you're trying to make a quick getaway, using the valet for your car is probably not a good choice. Still, if women used this method of protest more often, they might actually convince someone.

Well, that proves two points; never bring a knife to a gunfight and never make fun of a man's dog.

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
-George Bernard Shaw

Well, consider my life pretty damn honorable then.

I didn't really do much last night. I had a signing which was a big pain in the ass as it was located right in Westwood. For a guy who's been there on more occassions than one should have who's not going to UCLA, I still can't find my way around there without getting lost. The signing went pretty smoothly, except for the part where the receptionist and the security guard were convinced that the guy I was looking for didn't actually work there. Luckily, they were wrong as I would have had to kill both of them if he didn't. I had to sit in all this damn traffic just to get there and the drive back was already going to be a nightmare, so the chances of me just walking out of there without finishing my job were slim and none. This compounded with the fact that this contact chick Brianne had been pestering my all day about status on this signing as she couldn't leave work until I finished. Originally she wanted me to fax the documents once I was done...after I wiped my eyes and finished laughing, I let her know that that wasn't going to happen. There was no way I was driving back to the office just to fax her some documents at 7 in the evening. These loan officers are a pain in the ass; they screw up the documents all the time and expect you to fix them and put yourself out for less and less money...actually, that's pretty much any client, I suppose. Well, she got her call when I was done and I told her to go home and leave me alone.

Once I arrived home, I had unexpected company. Turns out Moody and Newjen were already there watching basketball on directv. They both have a key to my place as I seem to be out of town frequently and they supposedly come by and take out the trash and get my mail while they're actually partying and making a mess. I'm not anal about my place, so the more the merrier. B and Jimmy showed up a little later so we all had a big fantasy football conversation in which we all got to make fun of B's terrible team this season. He's already lost a bet to Newjen; they wagered 20 bucks that B's team would not lose more than 3 games this season...the loser lost that bet by week 7. So, pretty much, we just shot the shit and talked about nothing important for most of the night. Eventually, Newjen pulled out a new copy of FIFA05, a soccer game for the playstation. Apparently, when I was in Peru, these clowns played last year's copy for about 40 hours over a weekend. I'm not sure what's sadder, the fact that they wasted a whole weekend playing video games or that the game they were playing was soccer. Moody, who considers himself a cultured, knows way too much about soccer. Hell, I know way too much about soccer just by being around him and actually listening to him. Either way, Moody is usually the master of all things soccer including video games, so when Newjen whooped his ass 3 times in a row he felt it was time to go home. Well, that and all the mockery he got while he losing. He doesn't really like to lose.

One thing that did come up that was rather bizarre was Newjen's story about his girlfriend, KimPossible. That's our nickname for her which, oddly enough, started before the Disney cartoon of the same name. That's no excuse for such a stupid name, but hey, at least I'm not a totally unoriginal bastard. Either way, her sister pulled a stunt ditching school last Friday in which she got caught by KP in the act. Moody was pretty sympathetic to the sister as he was in trouble at least half the time he was in high school and spent the other half getting into trouble. Anyhoo...KP decided to call her mom out about being to lenient on her sister and pretty much questioned her parenting skills which led to her mother bitch slapping her with a butcher knife. I dunno about you, but I know my mom never tried to shank me when I was a kid. That's an episode of COPS waiting to happen. Not surprisingly, she's considering moving out now. Newjen had to do the "love line" with her for at least half an hour in the empty bedroom in my place with her while she presumably whined and complained. It's pretty simple to me; if you pull a knife on me, I'm not going to stay. This ain't Thunderdome, you can't just attack people with deadly weapons.

Luckily, I have tomorrow off from work for Veteran's day, so I'm going to honor the veterans by sleeping in. They fought to give me that right.

I suppose this could be dangerous, but seriously, what are they going to crash into? Corn?

See people, this is what happens when you become a huge pop star/sex symbol and don't go to school...

How the hell did a llama get in Minnesota? It's not like they go on vacation or anything. I say he had it coming to him.

Well Jack, I guess that's one more scam you'll have to cross off your "To-Do-List."

Of course, if this happened in Los Angeles, the boy would have been awarded 2 million dollars in compensatory damages and a copy of Half Life 2. Stupid juries.

Wow...that's a motivated criminal. Motivated by what, I'm not quite sure.

I dunno...I think I'd be afraid I didn't lock up the beetles well enough and wake up with my nose eaten.

This sounds scientifically legitimate. I know I was testing alcohol with Chih Hao the other night. We're gonna need more testing.

I'm not sure which is sadder, performing in a cover band that's covering your actual band, or appearing in a Hillary Duff movie.

More scientists talking out of their asses so they can write an article. And they say religious people are fantasists.

Yeah...now that's a MAN! Directions are for suckers!

Wow...darwinism at work yet again. I bet that hurt.

Heh...and they say global warming has no use.

History of the Mini Cooper...that's a pretty long history for a toy car.

Mary Kay LaTourneau's sister, apparently. I'm more amazed as to how an 8 year old could be such a pimp already.

Wow...it's a bad week for Jack and his scams. Best Buy is apparently on to you.

This would explain a lot about my coworkers. Of course, they may just be mentally deranged beforehand.

Breaking news just in! Eating healthy makes you lose weight! I repeat, eat healthy, lose weight.

Who says guns and alcohol don't mix? This sounds like a great party! Especially the knife fight finale. Personally, I blame those extreme anti-drunk driving commercials.

Hi, I'm Japanese and I'm totally talking out of my ass right now.

Well, since Churchill did it, I guess I don't feel so bad I taught my friend's bird to curse anymore.

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
-Samuel Goldwyn

I'm trying to figure out something to write today, but I have no idea. The only thing I did yesterday was watch Peyton the Man-ning whoop that Viking ass on MNF and watch those poor Clippers lose yet another close game due to stupidity and bad luck. That was helpful as it put me over the top to win in my fantasy football league this week. Even better, B not only lost again, but was humiliated by having the lowest score and lost to the guy with the second lowest score. There will be much clowning and mocking these next few weeks...

I know we're going on the offensive in Fallujah as I write...which really means we're just killing a whole bunch of terrorists and blowing up shit while they run around like chickens with their heads sliced off. I can't say I feel bad for them and I wish our soldiers well. The amount of force our military can inflict on the enemy is frightening and terrible, which I must say is a good thing. Nobody should enjoy war. We need to make sure they pay such a price that they don't consider doing it again...at least for another couple of hundred years. Five of our soldiers have died so far in the battle, which is always sad, but actually rather encouraging when you think about the type of operation they're engaged in. Two hundred years ago, something like this would have resulted in hundreds, perhaps thousands of casualties on our side. Go American technology and innovation!

One headline that really bothered me today, well, in a completely silly personal way and not to be confused with the previous paragragh, is that the Anaheim Angels are going to be renamed the Los Angeles Angels. Talk about redundancy; the Angels Angels. Oh goodie...maybe we can just start calling them Angels squared or something. If they don't stop changing their name, I'm gonna have to do something drastic. I can barely figure out each year what they've changed. They were the California Angels only a couple of years ago, then the stadium was Anaheim stadium, then Edison field, now Angel Stadium of Anaheim...what the hell is next? Are they going to just go with a weird symbol like Prince did it? This can't be good karma for next season...

I'd say this is ridiculous, but you know someone is working on canine contacts as we speak.
http://www.hinduonnet.com/thehindu/holnus/003200411081715.htm
This is surprising...not their position on the law, but the fact that a bunch of potheads could get motivated enough to actually form a political party. Wouldn't they just blow off voting to eat brownies instead?
http://www.canada.com/vancouver/theprovince/soundoff/story.html?id=e5dbc922-05b1-40ac-8bf3-9e0a17d64c70
Those crazy Japanese. Have they learned NOTHING from Godzilla?
http://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory?id=234286
Am I the only one excited about this online game?
http://www.sanriotown.com/onlinegame/index.php?s=introduction
Guns don't kill people...but only when you're facing a maniac with a machete. I bet this guy was an immortal from Highlander. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/aplocal_story.asp?category=6420&slug=WA%20Machete%20Defense
I don't know about you, but I can't wait for a glow in the dark pussy.
http://www.smh.com.au/news/National/2020-vision-live-to-120/2004/11/08/1099781305947.html?oneclick=true
Hmmm...I've never heard of this guy. Do you think he can play center for the Lakers?
http://feeds.bignewsnetwork.com/?sid=7f55fe6fecae8471
Well, it's nice to know some serious science goes on at Ohio State University. I wonder if you can major in drinking?
http://www.omaha.com/index.php?u_pg=57&u_sid=1249879
Larry Hagman is still alive? Oh well...check the end of this article...it's Solyent Green! We're eating people!
http://www.montgomeryadvertiser.com/NEWSV5/storyV5dallas04.htm
It's about friggin' time. We've been living in the 50s far too long. Of course, with the way taxi drivers drive, do we really want them flying around?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3990329.stm
What is it with Japanese people? No, really.
http://mdn.mainichi.co.jp/news/20041107p2a00m0dm002000c.html
Hey Chih Hao, better put this beer on your list.
http://news.newkerala.com/india-news/?action=fullnews&id=41385
In case you were wondering...yes, Oklahoma is the most boring place on earth.
http://www.mcalesternews.com/articles/2004/11/06/news/local_news/news04.txt
I would have considered voting for her if she wasn't a Philosophy major...and a chick. Women are insane.
http://hotabercrombiechick.blogspot.com/2004/11/even-i-beat-ralph-nader.html
I guess this is what a compassionate conservative is. Well, color me compassionate!
http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/news/bizarre/110804_APsn_brothel.html
There is so much wrong with this I don't even know where to start.
http://www.maskon.com/marti/Ella/Ella.htm
It's nice to know they're spending that money wisely in Chicago on important studies like this. I'm just curious...do they go around measuring size or what? Do they take volunteers for this?Is this why Carol decided to go to Chicago?
http://www.technewsworld.com/story/Women-Not-as-Faithful-as-Gorillas-37952.html
Wow...it's Michael Jackson!
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_365484.html
This guy must have gone to the Carribean medical school that Dr. Nick from the Simpsons went to. But hey, at least it's free health care, right?
http://pub.tv2.no/nettavisen/english/article299699.ece
Love-making specialist? I hope he doesn't practice while he's alone. But more importantly, is this squad taking volunteers?
http://www.manilatimes.net/national/2004/nov/08/yehey/opinion/20041108opi7.html

O.K. that's enough. Back to "work."

"Feminism was established to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream."
- Rush Limbaugh

Hehe...ouch.


I've been trying to get over this sickness, this malaise going on in my health. I think it's a throat thing, but I dunno. Hopefully it goes away soon. Feeling sick is very debilitating to my life...I can't go on like this!!! I need my life back, dammit! Sorry, it must be the virus talking.

Friday night I bought a six pack of Red Stripe and went over to that bastard Marlon's place to watch the Lakers get beat up on by the Spurs. It actually was a lot closer than I thought it would be as Kobe will not be denied when he wants to score. They ended up losing by 12, but it was down to 6 with 2 minutes left. It certainly gave those chumps in San Antonio a little scare. I'm beginning to wonder if the Spurs are even all that good of a team. Tim Duncan seems to have peaked as a player and really doesn't dominate the game like he used to. It is early in the season, but I can't see him getting much better as he played in the Olympics and will be probably hurting for the rest of the year. The big fundamental better bring it this year, because it's theirs to lose.

I headed off with Marlon and his girl to meet Mr. Chow and co. at Q's, a pool hall/bar in Westwood. Once I got there, I found out that we were WAAAAAAY behind in the alcohol consumption dept. I ended up getting talked into ordering a pitcher of beer(yeah, they really twisted my arm)and somehow got stuck finishing most of it all by my little lonesome. This didn't do my health any good as I ended up getting home after 2 and probably contributed to this terrible mood I'm in.

I took all of Saturday off to just sleep and drink water all day. I thought this would flush out all those evil alcoholic demons and for the most part, it did. Well enough for me to make it to my league basketball game the next day which we promptly lost by the same score as the Lakers. We're obviously not the Lakers, but we do have a problem with having no real point guard. The only sorry excuse for one on our team is dat Newjen who was at a Vietnamese wedding the night before and was so hung over he couldn't even keep water down. It was like watching a small Vin Baker out there, weaving, stumbling and thowing the ball away to the other team. Quite sad. We now have a losing record, but at this point we've already won more games than last season...that's certainly a statement about how bad last season was.

I love my job.
It's called evolution in action...tonight on FOX! World's stupidest protesters! http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/afp/20041107/wl_afp/france_germany_nuclear
Would you like to see everything on your next scuba trip underwater? All you have to do is look like a total tool. http://www.falsegods.com/waterboy/bh.html
I don't know how Tivo doesn't make this list.
http://www.thehenryford.org/innovations/default.asp
Not only am I the president of the Hair Club for men, I patented that bitch!
http://coolgov.com/index.php?p=36
Here we feature the first of Adam's Heroes. The mighty inventor of the Veg-O-Matic and many other useless items that bored housewives have blown good money on.
http://www.ronco.com/history_of_ronco.di4
Hehe...that's gotta be the dumbest thing I've ever seen...I'll take 5.
http://www.amazingflygun.com/main.asp
Hey Marlon...isn't that your dad? I didn't know you were rich.
http://www.drfad.com/
O.K. Seriously, we need to start getting Japanese TV. How is this show not running here? Beats the hell out of Survivor or Donald Trumps silly hair.
http://mdn.mainichi.co.jp/waiwai/0411/1106realityTV.html
You know, Chih Hao was drunk enough to have done this Friday night. Make a note for next time.
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/04307/405463.stm
Awww...that's so touching. We're talking Kodak moments and stuff. But more importantly, I bet they went at it like wild rabbits once they got home, Cialis or not.
http://www.mansfieldnewsjournal.com/news/stories/20041106/localnews/1546701.html
If nominated, I will not run, if elected...Holy crap, I won! YES!!!
http://www.nwanews.com/story.php?paper=adg§ion=News&storyid=97779
I can understand taking a break...what I can't understand is why the hell they'd do this in the first place.
http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/stlouiscitycounty/story/3E837EBFD693D8B586256F44001A425F?OpenDocument&Headline=Lewis+and+Clark+re-enactors+will+come+back+home+for+a+break
This chick got lucky...I mean, imagine if she had actually had sex with Ozzy? Nothing good could have come from that.
http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/celebrity/13022004.htm
Hey Tristan...have you tried using this to find dates yet? You could tell them all about that horror movie you made.
http://film.guardian.co.uk/features/featurepages/0,4120,1344653,00.html
O.K., maybe we also need English television too. Makes you wonder what the heck is going on in the rest of the world.
http://observer.guardian.co.uk/review/story/0,6903,1345128,00.html
Damn...they're on to you Jack! Time for a new ebay scam. Oh wait, this can't be you; these people are actually selling something.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=509&ncid=509&e=4&u=/ap/20041107/ap_on_bi_ge/ebay_phony_bidding
For people supposedly devoted to science, they may need to take another class and learn exactly what the definition of "theory" is.
http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20041107/ap_on_re_us/evolution_debate
According to Jim, he's being targeted by Catwoman. Time to put out the Bat Signal!
http://entertainment.tv.yahoo.com/entnews/ap/20041107/109988922000.html
Well, it seems sexism seems to be falling by the wayside. Women have a ways to go, but they're catching up to us guys!
http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20041107/ap_on_re_us/prison_population
This is a pretty good way to do it, but they should have gone all the way and had a Texas Hold'em tournament and televised it instead.
http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/11/04/high.card.ap/index.html
...and just a follow up. Remember that crazy kicker who tried to kill Siegried and Roy? Not that it's hard to see a professional athlete kill someone,(ex. O.J. Simpson)but a kicker? They're not even really football players.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/041103/480/nvjc10411032222

I sort of played hookey yesterday from work. I have a bunch of days off still, so I'm not too bothered by it. The thing is, I really am a little sick; I have a sore throat that doesn't seem to be getting much better. All I can do is just keep drinking water and praying to my God for salvation...well, I'll keep drinking water, anyways. That bastard Marlon is supposed to be having people over to watch the Laker game at his new apartment tonight and to avoid sitting in traffic I'll probably head over there after work. This should be the revenge game the Spurs have been waiting for since they got spanked years ago during the Lakers 2nd title with the Kobe-Shaq team. I expect a serious ass-whuppin', so it should be a fun game for commentary. That cheapskate Marlon doesn't want to buy any alcohol because he's broke, so we have to bring over anything we want. I don't buy this whole poverty scheme, but I guess I'll bring him over a box of wine. Only the good stuff for him.



Well, the weekend is almost upon us and if you're like me and manage to do practically nothing on Friday at work, this should give you something to look at.
Gee, I figured at her age she'd be flattered. Hehe...or maybe not.
http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/celebrity/13062004.htm
The hypocondriac's list right here. Of course, extra-marital affairs can damage more than your heart. Ask John Wayne Bobbit.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/allnews/tm_objectid=14823624%26method=full%26siteid=50143%26headline=don%2dt%2dread%2dthis%2don%2dthe%2dloo%2d%2d%2dyou%2dll%2dget%2dpiles-name_page.html
I can think of some great pranks you could pull with this puppy.
http://www.onlypunjab.com/real/fullstory1004-newsID-471.html
Man...must be a slow newsday for this to qualify as an article. Then again, Bill Clinton thought it was a good question.
http://www.statepress.com/issues/2004/11/04/arts/688641
What's wrong with these Indians? Why would you complain about this?
http://www.boston.com/news/odd/articles/2004/11/04/complaints_after_women_motorists_dance_nude/
Gee...I hope this isn't my grandmother's site. This seems like the type of thing she'd do. The description fits, too.
http://www.stargazy.org/hamstersinhats/
Now this is would certainly liven up CSpan. I wouldn't mind seeing some Senators get slapped upside the head.
http://blennus.com/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=63&Itemid=
Now...do you wash this dress or is it disposable?
http://cellar.org/iotd.php?threadid=7097
This article is worth looking at just so you can see the picture of the Michelin man.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2004512257,00.htm
Hehe...ooohhhh, sweet irony. That could be a public service announcement. Steal electricity, die by electricity.
http://www.azcentral.com/news/articles/1104taser-safety-ON.html
Being a cop in Hong Kong must be pretty fun. This usually gets you fired.
http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=29&art_id=qw109954746380B252
Well, this sounds MUCH better than Queer as Folk or Will and Grace.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/allnews/tm_objectid=14830526&method=full&siteid=50143&headline=schoolgirl-lesbian-sex-drama-for-c4-name_page.html
This first guy is great. I can just imagine a drunk Jack challenging cops to a UFC match.
http://www.ucsbdailynexus.com/news/2004/8281.html
Wow...that statue is VERY happy to be there.
http://riverfronttimes.com/issues/2004-11-03/news/unreal.html
That's one way to win a court case.
http://komotv.com/stories/33793.htm
He's made mistakes...but not as big a mistake as his wife. Then again, she probably slipped and fell repeatedly onto that knife.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=391&e=3&u=/ibsys/20041104/lo_ksat/2439167
YES! The wheels of justice turn slowly, but eventually even they get fed up with spam about enlarging your penis.
http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/technology/2004-11-03-spam_x.htm
Once again, poor you're crazy. Rich you're eccentric.
http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/1102kirstie02-ON.html
This would explain the extra energy I used to have as a kid after lunchtime.
http://apnews.myway.com//article/20041104/D864NUP80.html
NO! Say it ain't so, Jake the Snake!
http://news.scotsman.com/latest.cfm?id=3699605&vm=r
Just a follow up on that link about the dumbest rapist of all time.
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1103043blinddate1.html
I guess it's harder to not be an American than I thought.
http://www.harpers.org/ElectingToLeave.html
Isn't this what led to all those murders in Sleepaway Camp?
http://www.globalspot.com/strangenews/mistakeson.shtml
Maybe this is a silly question...but how the hell do you accidentally swallow a toothbrush?
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1162246.html
That's a pretty safe bet...I mean, what did she really have to lose?
http://reuters.myway.com/article/20041104/2004-11-04T140418Z_01_N04253355_RTRIDST_0_ODD-ODD-BET-DC.html
If this had happened at Jack's old place...do you think he would have noticed?
http://www.wftv.com/news/3886750/detail.html
I really can't top this last link right here. Word to the wise, don't mess with Spanish authorities.
http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=6353

I've spent far too much money this past week. This comes with going on almost every night...on freakin' week nights, no less. Tuesday night it was Beer Appreciation Night at BJ's...which I must say I have a healthy appreciation and respect for the power of mead. That stuff is as strong as wine with a much worse hangover. Last night, a friend from school was back in town from New York so we headed to Hooters. I have to say, I'm not that impressed with the talent on display at this particular Hooters in West Covina which may directly coincide with the fact that it's the most well lit Hooters in the world. I felt like I was in the supermarket or something. Let's just say that everyone looks better when the lights are dim so I'm not quite sure what this restaurant was trying to accomplish.

We watched the Lakers get punked by a bunch of white guys from Utah. That was rather amusing...it was kind of like watching the ending of Hoosiers. Go Jimmy Chitwood! Afterwards, we went to go visit our bartender friend No-Guns. He works in a bar that has a kareoke night pretty much every night...so my prayers go out to him for his sanity. Since my buddy Al from New York is technically a broadway singer and was actually in Les Miserables, he couldn't resist joining in the festivites. Since I had a drink or 4, I ended up joining him. I'll never turn down a chance to sing Baby Got Back. We sat around listening to all the bad singing until they closed, at which time Jimmy, No-Guns and Al decided to go to Commerce to play some Texas Hold'em. And find a prostitute...well, at least, that was plan B I suppose. Me, I have work, dammit. Plus, with all the money I've spent this week, I can't even afford a whore...at least, one that won't infect me with ebola or something. Either way, here were my links for the day.



Well, now that we got all that frustration out of the way regarding Bushitler or whatever we're supposed to call him, let's move on with the links.
Hehe...I suppose this guy must be from Jesusland. Maybe he's a fan of the Chronicles of Narnia.
http://www.local6.com/news/3887764/detail.html
I guess if you can't afford the cream, this is horny goat weed is second choice. Funny, I'd expect something like this to come out of China.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2004/11/03/naphro03.xml&sSheet=/news/2004/11/03/ixhome.html
Speaking of Asia...Jon, didn't we play this guy in that asian basketball league?
http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=1914310
Just to show that women will complain about pretty much anything.
http://www.ncbuy.com/news/2004-11-02/1010975.html
If this happens, I'd invest in a bomb shelter and 6 months of dried food. Armageddon can't be far off.
http://www.ananova.com/entertainment/story/sm_1163572.html
It's nice to see our homeland security doing their job...I guess. Still, what do you expect from a Canadian?
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/nm/20041103/od_uk_nm/oukoe_odd_jet&e=2
I feel the need...the need, for speed!
http://iftk.com.br/modules.php?name=Forums&file=viewtopic&t=1749
Just so you guys know...Lenard Nemoy is one groovy cat!
http://www.myprecious.us/ballad_of_bilbo_baggins.php
I missed piling on Ashlee Simpson...hmmm...that's a thought, but here's something slightly amusing in that vein.
http://www.stereogum.com/archives/000982.html
For those of you that think wine in a box is just too classy...
http://www.packworld.com/articles/Departments/18241.html
Like George Costanza said,"Where's my flying car? It's like we're living in the 50s, here!"
http://www.lib.berkeley.edu/news_events/exhibits/futuristics/
Yep...that's our Governator!
http://japander.com/japander/schwarz.htm
Largest industry? Are you sure it's not cartoon porn? I mean...so I hear. Not that I watch anything like that...cough...
http://ballz.ababa.net/uninvited/pachinko.htm
I would love to visit one of his sculptures...just so I could jump all over it and pretend I was Godzilla.
http://www.frostbitestudios.com/sand.htm
Are they using reverse psychology?
http://www.esquire.com/brutal/profile.html?single=3
See, when you're poor, you're crazy. But when you have money, you're only eccentric.
http://www.paloaltoonline.com/weekly/morgue/2004/2004_10_22.hiken22jt.shtml
I, for one, am grateful for this comprensive listing of Donald Duck's family. Ever since Ducktales, I can't tell how they're all related to each other.
http://goofy313g.free.fr/calisota_online/trees/rosa.html
You know, for an animation studio famous for their artistry, you'd think they could do better than stick figures.
http://www.patentlyobviousblog.com/2004/10/patent_suit_all.html
Is it bad that I qualify for most of the hobbies on this list?
http://www.thewavemag.com/printarticle.php?articleid=24184.
I wonder how his date went...
http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/1103rapecase-TV.html
Wow...their english is about as good as my spanish. That's probably why people kept laughing at me on my last vacation. That, or my dad's hawaiian shirts.
http://www.chowchow.gr.jp/inova/eindex.html
O.K. This guy is the king of all pranksters. I bow down to his skills.
http://www.zug.com/pranks/powerbook/index.html
I really can't top that last one. Enjoy.

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So, I was victorious today against my arch nemesis in fantasy football, a smart ass named B who's team is named "The Goods." Actually, he's not really a nemesis as he's more of just my bitch that I slap around everytime I play him. I knocked him out of the playoffs last year even when he had the number 1 team and I seeded number 8, so this victory wasn't all that impressive. Still, he ran away and avoided me last year when I won, so I figured I'd make sure he knew I had his number this year by leaving this post on our board.

Dear Not-So-Goods,

That was a valiant effort by glassy eyed Pennington to make your score respectable and you really would have beat almost everybody else. Unfortunately, even with Bulger and Horn on the bench, Boller was just too much for you team and you came up a little bit short. But hey, you should be used to that by now. Don't let this get you down, Damaged Goods, you need to stay ahead of Reo and Abe. I still want to be the one who Franz Ferdinand's your ass and takes you out of the playoffs.

Sincerely owning you since last season,

B Killer


I might as well keep track of all the stupid links I send out every day.

Hey folks...here you go again. Don't slack off too much; not all of you have as much time on your hands as I do.


It must be all that pasta.

http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,11261418%255E13762,00.html

Oh sure, the IRS won't let me write off trips to strip joints as business expense but they let this go?

http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5478,11204720%255E1702,00.html

Wow...shot and stabbed to death? I guess they didn't like Nightwatch. It's not like he kicked an own goal in a soccer match. I thought Europe was supposed to be safer!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/3974179.stm

This is why I stay in the shallow end of the pool.

http://travel.discovery.com/news/afp/20041101/diving.html

Who says actors are strange and eccentric?

http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/celebrity/12502004.htm

This guy needs a serious beat down like that Fan man.

http://www.alainrobert.com/en/photo.htm

Hehe, I really need to forward this to Moody.

http://www.growyourownshit.com/mystats/overall//

Gee, maybe I need to start going trick or treating again.

http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/1101halloween-beer01-ON.html

I don't want to make you guys hungry before lunch, but check out these crazy creatures.

http://www.conceptart.org/forums/showthread.php?t=19383

Man, those Cal Tech graduates sure have some strange blogs.

http://puzzlephotos.blogspot.com/

...and I really hope this guy didn't have anything spicy to eat on his plate.

http://charges.uol.com.br/bobagens/lavando.jpg

Case in point of honesty NOT being the best policy.

http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/news/11022004_bb_crackdriver.html

O.K. Now this is pretty silly. Of course, game 7 of the ALCS last year was more important than some stupid dance.

http://contest.howlowdidyougo.com/vote.asp

Wow...hey Tristan, stop sleeping. It'll kill you!

http://my.webmd.com/content/article/71/81370.htm?z=1728_00000_1000_td_01

The last line of this story says it all. Freakin' IRS.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200411/s1232964.htm

Hehe, if only there were more boys at this club, Michael Jackson would be all of it.

http://www.standartnews.com/archive/2004/10/29/english/features/index.htm

This happened to me once...except for the crashing into a building and totaling my car part. I really hate pickles, though.

http://abclocal.go.com/ktrk/news/110104_local_carbldg.html

Hehe, this is...well, pretty gay. It's also another bonus to the world that we won the cold war.

http://funreports.com/2004/10/28/56851.html

Wow...Ukranian chicks are scary.

http://funreports.com/2004/10/18/56666.html

I can think of several teachers that need some lashings.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=4&u=/nm/20041102/od_nm/saudi_lashes_dc

I don't watch this show, but is he pulling an Ashlee Simpson?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6357379/

Something tells me this isn't going to lead to a gangland shooting. I'd advise Jay Z to not get caught in the bathroom alone with R. Kelly though.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=495&ncid=762&e=3&u=/ap/20041101/ap_en_mu/people_r_kelly

O.K. That's enough. I should probably get some work done.

You know what? I'm not even going to try and be consistent and post everyday. It's just not worth it. But, hey, I'll make sure I post something from time to time, especially since I send out stupid emails all the time. First of all, this guy Marlon that I know wants me to maintain a blog because it'll entertain him or something. Well, I gots to say, Screw you, buddy! Do you think I'm here to entertain you? Like a clown?

Before women's fashions began to feature exposed navels, I had no idea how many gals had unattractive midriffs.

--Thomas Sowell

I can see where he is coming from; I've been going back to the Diamond Bar gym since my visit to Shangri Lai, land of the beautiful people over in La Verne, and I have to say that there are some women who really need to rethink their wardrobe options. When your stomach is resembling a third breast, do you really want to wear a spandex shirt that lets it all hang out? Do you really want to be confused with the prostitute in that movie Total Recall? I really don't think so.

I went to see Fahrenheit 9/11 this Friday with my quasi-liberal friends Mr. T and Chow, who both appeared to really enjoy it. I, on the other hand, thought it was full of crap. Michael Moore seems to think just throwing out allegations of Bush being a traitor and a liar is proof enough...no need to find any actual evidence. In fact, the documentary, if you really can call it that, was rather scatter-brained and seemed to contradict itself in several spots. If you've looked at some of the reviews, you'd have heard them. Such as, if Bush is in the control of the Saudis, how come he invaded Iraq and Afghanistan against their strong, public objections? Or why would he say that we shouldn't have gone into Afghanistan then then follow it by saying we didn't bring enough troops? He states that all of the Taliban got away, but in his opinion, they weren't dangerous anyways so why is that important? The only thing you can really take away from this movie is that Moore thinks Bush is the devil. Or a Nazi secretly plotting to take away all our rights. Or a moron who needs to be told what to do at all times or he's helpless. Well, whenever he decides, maybe he'll make another movie.

Saturday was the day of the big hike. There were many of us, about 10 or so who all went hiking. I ended up going with Joan, a friend from high school. To be honest, we weren't really friends, more like acquaintances. We've seen each other more often now due to other other people, so it wasn't weird or anything. She's a smart girl; got her Phd. in English and is teaching right now at Whittier. Anyways, we met up with Jack, Chow, Marlon, Fong, Paul, Vicky, Jerry, and some of Jerry's friends. When we got to our hiking location, the road turned out to be closed for repairs. Luckily, they had a second option, although it wasn't as strenious as I would have liked. We're trying to get ready for hiking the Half-Dome in Yosemite this summer and this hike isn't the best training in the world. It was seven miles, but most of it was flat. The one bonus of that is we could all have a conversation about various things. Joan and I debated whether or not Angel was worthy of a spin off of Buffy the Vampire Slayer; I conceded that the first season was a little formulaic but I won the point of the show picking up momentum and creating a mythos of it's own as the seasons progressed. Yeah, quite the thinker, aren't I? Well, it's more fun than discussing whether a progressive tax system is inherently wrong, isn't it?

When we reached the halfway point, we were greeted with the wafting smell of sewage. It turns out that the end of this trail ends at a damn of sorts with some of the funkiest smelling water I've smelled since Venice. This didn't stop two of Jerry's friends from deciding to walk right through it. Their stupidity should have tipped us off, but when they proposed climbing up this makeshift path along the concrete edge, we ended up going along with it. Obi Wan once said,"Who's the bigger fool? The fool, or the one who follows him?" I'm going to have to go with us, as we followed them all the way past the damn over tricky ledges and through prickly bushes only to find a bigger hill to climb. This one turned out to be chock full of lose gravel and rocks, which Jerry managed to start rolling down the hill as though he was Donkey Kong. Vicky and Fong got smacked with several rocks; Vicky took a football sized one right in the chest. This only got them pelted with insensitive comments like,"If you can dodge a rock, you can dodge a ball!" Well, o.k., most of the comments came from me, but hey, I'm a jerk. I can't help myself. We ended up having to climb back down the way we came all the while cursing those two buffoons we followed up. Well, not all of us had to climb back down--Jerry managed to make it all the way to the top and find the trail. All it cost him was a bunch of scratches and his hundred dollar Oakley sunglasses. Yeah...that was worth it.

My uncle Jimmy passed away this Monday. He was my grandmother's older brother and he was a big FDR liberal; the kind that aren't around anymore. I really liked the guy; he was the first adult I ever had a real political debate with. I was 12...and I won many of my points. That's not really a compliment to my intelligence, not that I want you to think he was stupid. He wasn't; he was...simple, I guess. I mean, he knew what he wanted in life and he made up his mind long ago on issues. He wasn't one to change his opinions. Either way, he was also the first man to show me how to use a gun and the first man to show me how to hunt. I bagged my first and only wabbit with a 22 rifle...I can't say I really enjoyed killing an animal, but I did learn first hand about the circle of life. He carved that sucker up and we had rabbit jerky the next day. Well, he lived a full life into his seventies so it's not as though he was cheated out of years, but I have to say that I will miss him and I'm regretful that I didn't visit him more often in his final years.

"It's sad they would put a price tag on the animals," said Kathy Riordan, a member of the Los Angeles Animal Services Commission and daughter of Schwarzenegger advisor and former Mayor Richard Riordan.

--In reference to cost cutting measures by repealing the 6 day stay on killing stray animals.

What the hell is this woman smoking? No, really...being dogs cost upwards of thousands of dollars for pure breeds, does she think pet stores are sad and cruel as well? Last time I checked, dogs and cats weren't self sufficient.

I went to a new L.A. Fitness the other night to change things up with my workout. I ended up driving to La Verne which took about 5 minutes longer then the one I go to...apparently there is also one 5 minutes in the other direction. L.A. Fitness has more franchises than Jack in the Box. When I entered, I felt like I just walked into a Bally's Gym commercial. Nothing but beautiful people; gorgeous, slim women and muscular, raging hulks wandering about doing their routines. it was a little disconcerting really; I'm used to seeing the fat housewives trying not to break a sweat that would ruin their make up and the fat old men who do 2 reps per machine. Not at this one...they could take Global Gym's slogan from Dodgeball,"We're better than you, and we know it!" I have to say, the gym was much cleaner and had some better equipment than the one I usually go to. If I can get over feeling out of place surrounded by all the models and action heroes working here, I think this one might be my regular stop. The eye candy is much nicer.

I went to an Angel game this Wednesday with Moody and Newjen; we bought a 20 game pack before the season started so we're commited to seeing a whole bunch of games this year. They were playing their arch-nemesis the A's, so it was an important game for control of their division. Due to that Son of a Newjen, the biggest jinx there ever was, the Angels preceded to lay an egg and get whupped on 7-1. If Newjen puts out another guarantee in my presence, I swear to Bob I'm gonna lay him out. We decided that we'd seen enough and since Moody was heading out on Friday on a 2 week cruise to northern Europe, we decided to go see Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Well, I should say, Moody and I decided that and set about persuading Newjen to go along. He didn't want to see it as he's never read any of the books nor even seen the first two movies. Well, after he screwed the Angels with his reverse Midas touch, we figured he could suck it up. It's not like he understands half the movies he sees anyways; walking out of a theatre with him you get barraged with 20 questions...sometimes I wonder if he even actually watches these movies. Maybe he takes a nap or something. On the way out, these two older women were...for lack of a better word, leering at us. This has to be the first time I've ever been stared at like that by a woman and it was...well, actually, it felt pretty good. I don't know what women are complaining about. This is a perfect example of the differences between men and women. Either way, after we got past them, Moody was so shocked that while talking about the incident he made up a word.

"Those chicks were bold! I was staring at her to see who would blink first...and I blunk."

He blunk...blunk indeed.

We watched Harry Potter that night and I have to say I think it was misnamed. It should have been Hermoine Granger and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Harry is little more than a sidekick to one of this best friends in this effort to go all women's power on the audience. I like the character of Hermoine as much as anybody; she's a much more complicated and fleshed out female character than you normally get in books, but this movie took it to the extreme. if I wanna watch empowered chicks, I'll wait for Charlie's Angels 3...I better not hold my breath, though. I'm pretty sure that last one was a big bomb.

Since I haven't written a word about this past weekend, I figure I should mention before the next weekend is already over. Saturday night was Jack's big scheme; this girl Julie that he's got the hots for was celebrating her birthday, so Jack decided to set up this VIP room at the Highlands club to impress her. He was trying to get all the usual suspects together to go to this thing, but nobody was all that motivated as it seemed like it was going to be quite pricey. VIP rooms aren't like getting a room at the Motel 6. In fact, it might have been cheaper if he just propositioned Julie and got a room at the Motel 6. Ahhh...the foolishness of Jack is quite incredible...then again, this is year 10 of college for him and he still hasn't even gotten his Batchelor's degree. I was supposed to go to this club with Moody, Brian and probably TG as he was in town from Michigan for the weekend. Of course, reality set in. Depending on Moody not to flake is like expecting Jack to pass a college course.

I sat around waiting for Moody to show until about 8 that evening, then finally decided to track his ass down. I left several messages and finally resorted to calling B who informed me that Moody had "left" is phone at home and didn't have it on him. Also, he wasn't planning on going to the club now and conveniently forgot to call me. Stupid bastard. Anyways, not to be completely deterred, I found Mr. Chow instead and headed out with him and our other friend Paul. Because we didn't get moving until almost 10, we ended up in the crazy Saturday night traffic and didn't arrive to the club until around midnight. Once we got to the front, it was packed with all the usual miscreants and hustlers trying to get in. Theoretically, we were supposed to be on the guest list, but it didn't turn out to be the case. After several calls to Jack or Winston inside, Jack finally told us he found the lady that let him in and she would be coming out to take care of us. It turns out, depending on Jack is equivalent to depending on Moody as the lady denied any knowledge of Jack or of letting us in when we finally saw her. That was the last straw for Mr. Chow and we bounced. I'd say I blame Moody for being late, but it's probably a good thing as the club did turn out to be ridiculously expensive...I can't complain about saving some money on a club that I was only marginally interested in going to.

Sunday was a day of pain and suffering. I decided I need to go to the gym despite the fact that I had a league basketball game to play in later in the afternoon. Our team ended up being short of players as we only had one sub. We ended up running against one of those little asian teams who all shoot lights out and, much like the Energizer bunny, keep going and going...Most of my team is big, slow and out of shape, so you can imagine the unmitigated disaster that occurred by the second half of the game. We did only lose by ten, but it was much worse than it ended up. I also managed to take a terrible fall trying to block a shot on a break away. After I bounced off two players, I hit the ground belly up on my elbows. Hell, they're still swollen and bruised as of today. That is the lesson of the day; never try too hard.

I had quite an entertaining weekend, but let's start with Thursday night. I met up with Marlon, Fong, Jack and Carol to attend a party at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, or LACMA. They were opening two new exhibits and to celebrate, they were having drinks and music, including a DJ. DJ Diabetic, to be exact. Marlon wanted to eat twinkees in front of his set to mess with his mind. Marlon just wouldn't accept that he probably wasn't diabetic; then again, he probably thinks Dr. Dre is a pediatrician. I'm sure Dr. Dre considers himself a gynecologist...but I digress. We had dinner that night beforehand and tried to show up fashionably late, but ended up in a huge line instead. So much for RSVPing; the line for those on the list was as long as the rest of the rabble showing up on a whim. On the way to the line, we witnessed this really bizarre act out front. There was what appeared to be an asian woman dressed in white spandex with a huge blonde wig singing some weird disembodied vocals which seemed to have nothing to do with her background dance music. We all wanted to stop and see where she was going with this, except for Jack. He seemed rather frightened by her act; of course, I'm not even sure it was totally a she. But hey, what with the lack of facial hair and delicate features, it's often hard to tell asian men from women anyways. Either way, I teased Jack all the way to the line that he wanted us to leave this independent performer because it was, in fact, his mother moonlighting and trying to jump start a singing career and he didn't want us to see her. He wasn't amused, but everyone else was. It really did kind of look like his mother...

After waiting around in line for a while and witnessing a street performer who bore a striking resemblance to the singer from Jamiroquai(Hey, have you seen him anywhere lately? I'm not ruling it out)we finally made it into the museum and were met with a huge crowd of trendy looking people hanging out and drinking...well, it was the liveliest I've ever seen a museum, anyways. We ended up getting a couple of drinks; or I should say Jack and Marlon had a couple of drinks. They managed to get nice and drunk. I'm always entertained by Marlon when he's drunk as he ignores that little voice in the back of his head that regulates his speech and just says what's on his mind; let's just say what's on his mind would get him beat up on a daily basis. our first choice on the evening was to go into the exhibit titled Geometry: Art from the 40s-70s.

When modern art gets brought up, I usually go on a rant about what a bunch of useless crap it is. Lo and behold! This Geometry exhibit is a perfect illustration of what I'm talking about. This is the usual art deco garbage that's all about perceptions and lines as opposed to skill or beauty. I like to think of art as made up of two parts, skill and innovation. While you can get by completely on skill, your work generally seems derivative and somewhat boring. Most of the great artists were able to do things that were inventive and original with their incredible skills; this is generally what separates the wheat from the chaff. If you go in the other direction, you have modern art. The concept of total originality is what powers modern art today. If you take a look at any of this junk, you can tell that your kid brother probably has about as much skill. The historian Paul Johnson compared pop art with the fashion industry and I think that's a perfect analogy; both are quickly outdated and have to be updated every "season" which perpetuates the industry as a whole. You won't ever not have customers if what you made last year is suddenly "out." Let me just bring up a couple of pieces of shi...er...art. My personal favorite was a steel box painted black titled, "Black Box." I'm sure there are layers upon layers of complexity with this piece that I can't ever fathom, but I suspect it's actually just a black box. Another winner was a piece of tape ran along a wall with blue crayon surrounding it with random numbers written upon it. How this qualifies as art when done by an adult but as rampant vandalism when done by a child, I dunno...age discrimination I suppose. Either way, if this qualifies as high art, my little brother Jackson is a genius. Look out Da Vinci!

The next exhibit actually consisted of art. Titled "Inventing Race: Casta Painting and Eighteenth Century Mexico," it was made up of paintings that used to decorate the walls of the upper crust of Spanish artistocracy in the new world. It seems that with the influx of black slaves and a mix of the native population, they were having a really hard time classifying all the different racial categories. The Spaniards thought of themselves as superior to the cultures around them, no surprise really, since they dominated so easily with better technology. The way they separated the cultures, however was based on the color of the skin. Casta refers to caste, or your ranking in society. It was quite popular with the Indian culture, but it hardly was confined there. They would come up with different classifications of race due to the combinations of Spaniards and indians, Spaniards and blacks, blacks and indians, etc...From that they came up with various new ways to title them such as mulatto, mestizo, you know the drill. An interesting new category was "Held up in the air" to define someone you couldn't tell what the hell their race was. Although the art wasn't anything special, it's an interesting glimpse into the minds of the people of 300 years ago. Eh...what do you expect from the Spaniards, anyhow?

On a side note, there was this really funny story I heard on Sirius radio this morning that I just had to share. It was regarding this actress who was doing a rather racy show where it begins with her and her husband having sex. She was doing the part completely nude even though it wasn't necessary; must be a method actress. Anyways, at the end of the encounter, she's supposed to sit on her husband's back as they continue the scene. Unbeknownst to her(how often do you get to use that word in a sentence?), he had a bad back and had completely covered his back with Bengay. For those of you not familiar with the cream, it is a muscle pain reliever which eventually numbs the muscle and relaxes it. Bengay also burns like hell on a normal part of the body, so you can imagine her surprise when her private area came into contact with it...I bet all of New York heard that scream. All I can say is, ouch.

So, the Laker empire is no more. The king is dead, long live the king! Of course, if the king is Chauncey Billups, stop the ride, I wanna get off. The fact that the finals mvp award went to a man named after a butler is not going to be forgotten too soon. He has to be one of the worst MVPs I can remember; the guy has been on 5 teams because of his inability to pass...this is usually a problem when you're a point guard. You know, since your job is to PASS THE BALL! It really shouldn't come as a surprise, because he did get to play the Lakers who have been making superstars out of mediocre point guards for the past couple of years. Do you really think Mike Bibby is that good? Of course, when either Gary "if the glove don't fit, you better quit" Payton and Derek Fisher are the defensive specialists covering you...well, that must be like Christmas for any decent player with a first step. I'm having a hard time seeing the Pistons doing this again, but we'll see. They work really well as a team, but they don't have a bonafide superstar who can take over when they need it. If anything, their superstar is their defense, but I'm sure with a summer off teams will figure out how to deal.

Now that basketball is done with, I get to concentrate on my baseball team the Angels. It turns out, the Angels pitching just plain stinks. I had a feeling this was going to happen, but I was hoping for them to just be able to score enough runs until their bullpen takes over. Unfortunately, they're dropping like flies from injuries which means their offense can't quite make up for their poor ass pitching...well, I'll just have to wait. It is a long season, after all.

This week so far has been fairly uneventful; Newjen and some other folks came over yesterday and we grilled up some chicken and burgers. I was doing my best to ruin my eating habits what with the hotdogs as well. Luckily, I can still fit into my pants this morning, so all is well. Newjen is quite the cook when a grill is involved; in fact, I'd rather have him in charge than Chris, the expensively schooled chef friend of mine.

I'd like to make mention of a sad event that occurred this week. Ralph Wiley, a sports writer for Sports Illustrated passed away from a sudden heart attack. I hate SI, but he was also one of the founding writers of the columns on Page 2 on ESPN.com. This is one of the more fun sections of the website as it has columnists who write opinion pieces on various events, not always sports related. Since about a year ago, however, there have only been 2 regular contributors which were actually worth reading and he was one of them. He had just started to write point-counterpoint pieces with the other good writer on the site, Bill Simmons or the Sports Guy, and had breathed new life into the genre. He was very opinionated and had years of knowledge and expertise in almost all sports; those two combinations made his pieces readable. His sense of humor and personality made it a must read. I, and many other sports fans, will miss his columns.