Farkin' Links Vol. 168 11/30

I had a pretty easy signing last night in the quasi-hood. It's basically a nice section of South Central; yes, they do exist. The fact is that 90 percent of the people in the hood aren't a bunch of wild criminals or homeless people trying to wash your windshield with a newspaper and a spray bottle, they're average, law abiding folk who are as pissed about all the delinquents that give their area a bad name. You can tell these nice sections because the yards are always prestine, the houses generally look freshly painted, and the second you show up, people start looking out the window to figure out who the hell you are. It's probably the neighborhood watch or something. Either way, these are usually nice places to live; plus, you're always really close to a fast food chicken joint.

The signing was with an older black couple. When I say old, I'm talking they remember WWII and not from a textbook or the History channel sort of old. The husband was retired, but the wife was still a teacher at the Compton School district. She was that older no nonsense type of teacher that always dresses up, takes no crap from any of the students and forces them to actually learn something. The type you hate in school, but respect and never forget when you're older. Their house was something else entirely; it hadn't been redecorated since the 1970's, and boy, could you tell! They had the great faux gold colored walls, the cheesy fogged mirrors with the colored cracks, and even the shag carpet. It's the type of place you can't feel comfortable in unless you're wearing polyester and sporting a mustache...which I can't grow, curse the Native American and Filipino sides of my family. Some days, I just love my job. You meet such interesting people...

"Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once."
--Tallulah Bankhead


Not exactly Public Enemy No. 1 here, but that's one hell of a crime. I'm totally jealous...except for the part where he gets a boyfriend named Bubba in the county jail.

Yet more proof that news reporters are not the sharpest tools in the shed. Hell, they're not even smarter than the 10 year olds in this clip.

Damn...talk about the kiss of death. I had no idea peanuts were this dangerous.

I always wanted to do this at church, but I don't want to go to hell...aw, who am I kidding? I'm so going to hell. I might as well start punching everyone I don't like.

Yet another reason to hate gas station attendants, as if you needed one. It turns out their Europhiles...this guy's excuse is the same one used by France for not supporting the Iraq war, right?

What terrible journalism is on display here...where the hell are the damn pictures?

Hehe...border patrol uniforms are made in Mexico. I don't see that as a big problem; they came in legally.

I've been neglecting the "female teacher giving private sex education lessons" stories lately, so here's one from England. Apparently, she got caught before they could get to the final exam.

I'm glad I don't believe in Santa Claus anymore like Paris Hilton, because this video would have put me in therapy.

After reading this article, I'd have to say that sexologists are pretty cool people.