Farkin' Links Vol. 167 11/29

I had a signing last night in a new development out by Marina Del Rey. This ended up being a problem because it didn't show up on my GPS system nor my 6 year old map book. I had to do something I haven't done in years; ask for directions. It was quite embarrassing, really. Either way, I did finally find my way to this place and it's quite an impressive place. The condo complex this guy lives in is the largest I've ever seen; the damn thing could have been a self contained eco system. We did the whole signing thing...but then a strange thing happened. He kept talking to me. Usually, people are quick to get rid of me, and I really can't blame them. I'd get rid of me if I could. This guy, on the other hand, just started talking about random crap and remained seated after I stood up as if to trap me by good manners. Well, that didn't delay me for too long, so I started trying to make my way out, and the guy takes this as an offer to show me the way back to the exit of the condo complex. Then, he keeps talking to me for another ten minutes once we get there...at this point, I just wanted to get the hell out of there, but he's still talking. I finally took to nodding and trying to create an akward silence that would let me make my exit, but the bastard just took that as an invite to keep flapping his lips. Eventually, my natural kindness was overcome by my desire to get the hell out of there, so I finally just told him I had to leave and ran to my car. He's a single engineer, and apparently a very lonely one at that. I feel for him, but I certainly don't want to spend all night listening to him tell me about World of Warcraft. I think what that guy needs is a Russian mail order bride...or groom. Whatever floats his boat. Still, I pray to God that I don't have to go back to fix anything...it might turn into a "Misery" like situation with me getting my feet lopped off and forced to play Dungeons and Dragons with him for the rest of my life. Well, as long as I get to DM, I guess it wouldn't be all that bad.

"Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home."
--Bill Cosby


It looks like it's going to be easy to find stories for the "India is a freakshow." In this one, these two ladies were accused of being witches and forced to eat crap...which is probably marginally better tasting than the usual food they eat there.

So sad...the world's ugliest dog has died. I don't know how you could tell, but I'd cut it's head off and stake it through the heart just to be sure.

China jumps ahead of the U.S. in yet another industry; the condom industry. Well, knowing how high in quality made in China items are, I think I'd pass on this one. Still, cool concept.

This is rather ironic. This news story couldn't have been timed any better; still, this reporter is impressing no one with his dramatic flair.

Now THAT is a cool Christmas t-shirt. Too bad I'm not black.

Wow...who knew it's against the law to be an idiot in Austria?

Hehe...I don't think this guy would like going to a movie theater with me in attendance. Hey Jon, Moody and Uriel...how many times did we almost get in a fight with some random person at those screenings?

Sure, Google is evil and trying to take over the world and all that...but it still has to contend with Bill Gates. I don't envy them in that task.

This is a cool concept; it's here to help you remember that one movie with those mutants that lived in the New York sewers that were eating people...what the heck was the name of that?

This is a tragedy, but why should the bartender suffer because some stupid Euro can't hold his liquor? It's a fairly reasonable amount to drink; I've seen Chris Hsieh polish this much off and still annoy us with drunken commentary for the rest of the night.