Farkin' Links Vol. 176

So, I'm going for two days in a row. Not bad, although it'll take me some time to get used to sending out useless e-mails again. I'm sorry that I didn't make any mention of Newjen's big fireworks extravaganza this past 4th of July. It lived up to the previous shows and even better, nobody got burned, arrested or killed. Since this was the 3rd annual final show, I guess I have to say that I'll miss it next year...of course, considering it was the 3rd annual, I guess you never know. I'd venture to guess he'll be blowing crap up sooner than anybody thinks.

I'm attending a wake and a funeral the next couple of days for a co-worker. I didn't know the man very well, but it's still shocking to be talking to someone one day and finding out that they're dead all of a sudden. You know; it makes you question your own mortality...unless you're an immortal like myself. I just have to look out for sword wielding rivals. At least he went out nice and quick; he giving a private Tae Kwon Do lesson when he developed a blood clot in his lung and just died before anybody could react. He did lead a full life, but I doubt that's any consolation for his family. Anyways, on to other more ridiculous things.

It warms my heart to know that we have such intelligent and technologically informed senators running things in Washington. This genius is also the guy behind that bridge to nowhere in Alaska. He's over 70, so don't miss out on his brilliance before it's too late.

Hehe...stupid lion.

Jeez...who knew Eddie Griffin belonged on the Trail Blazers? Things are already looking bad for Garnett and his Timberwolves and the season hasn't even started yet.

These are some crazy ass chairs. My personal favorite is the tank chair. Sorry Abe, there is a Nintendo controller chair, but not the Turbo Grafix one...it must have just missed the list.

This kind of reminds me of last year's roman candle wars...except that this guy must have lost a really big bet.

Oh boy...somebody needs to actually put Sean Penn in a movie so he'll stop doing stupid publicity stunts. A rolling hunger strike? I think that's the definition of style over substance.

This guy is one hell of an Etch-a-Sketch artist. The best I could do was draw a really crappy circle before I tossed it across the room in frustration and started playing Nintendo again.

This may seem harsh...but really, soccer must be stopped at all costs! It's even infiltrating this country like some virus...

So...despite all the soccer fans showing up in Germany for the World Cup, the prostitution business didn't increase at all. I'd make a crack about soccer fans having no balls, but really, I blame the oh so sweet beer that Germany is famous for. Unless you're traveling with Rush Limbaugh, you're probably not rising to the occasion after a liter of beer.

Sofia Loren is posing nude for a calendar? Well, I guess she is pretty hot for a 72 year old woman. I'd hit it...after about 6 of those German beers I discussed previously.