Farkin' Links Vol. 189

So, we had our championship game this weekend, and we won...the first half. If only the games were only 20 minutes and not 40. In the first half, we stuck to our gameplan and ended it by being up 2. In the second half...not so much, and we ended up losing by 18. It's hard to win a game when the second best player on the other team hits ten 3 pointers. Well, at least we got a dinky second place trophy; Newjen was planning on just removing the 2nd and hope nobody notices.

I attended a quinceanera this weekend, which was quite entertaining. I've never been to one, what with not being Mexican and all. For those of you who aren't familiar, this is a big celebration for girls when they turn 15 years old and become a woman...or something. Sort of like a barmitzva, or I guess those sweet 16 parties that rich people are throwing and having filmed to be a show on MTV.

It starts with a mass in a Catholic church, which I never really liked ever since my grandmother used to drag me to while I was growing up. I personally didn't think it was fair since I'm not even Catholic; it's like drinking a non-alcoholic beer. You have to suffer through the bad stuff, but get absolutely no benefits from it. This mass ended up being a little more entertaining for several reasons, though. First, there was a mariachi band perfoming religious songs at the intermissions. Second, the priest did the ceremony in English, most definitely not his first language...it might not even be his second. I'm glad they were wise enough to provide us with a pamplet of subtitles; it was like watching Antonio Banderas give mass.

After that, we attended the reception hall, which was actually this Italian club dedicated to Giuseppe Garibaldi. He's a very intruiging character, who, despite all the honors, didn't really seem to do much. Well, it's almost as tough picking out an Italian war hero to celebrate as it is finding a French one. Anyways, a lot of seats were empty, which leads me to believe they didn't have quite the turnout that was expected. If I were the family, I'd be pissed as hell. They spend 17,000 bucks, as much as a wedding, on some party to play on every woman's princess fantasy and half the people didn't show. It's not as though these people have a lot of money; I'm still trying to figure out who they had to kill to come up with that much in the first place. I'm thinking that money might actually come in handy to...oh, I dunno, buy a car, or for college, or part of a down payment for a place to live, even a future wedding. For a group of people that aren't well off to be blowing this kind of money...well, I just don't get it.

The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.
-Katharine Whitehorn


This is rather disturbing; I'm sure there are people who support Hezbollah, but in San Francisco? I'm pretty sure Hezbollah wouldn't be down for the tenderloin district.

This is even more disturbing...Jeez, Tucker Max, you are one crazy bastard. This story is mostly for Alex, since I know he has a thing for midgets.

Speaking of tiny, check out this weird gallery full of tiny animals on fingers. Yes, I know that sounds dirty, but there's no sexual innuendo...I'm serious. It's totally safe for work.

This is perfect example why rushing a job only makes it take longer. But, on the plus side, you get to see a soccer player get hurt. You know that always warms my heart.

Well, this guy makes a very strong argument. It's hard to argue with a flying chair.

While this is totally unnecessary, I'd like to have 31 different options for lacing my shoes.

This Ladder Theory has obviously been around for a while...but it's my first time reading it. Yep, seems about accurate. Damn b*tches.

That's certainly one way to get a remote control. I would never, EVER, resort to drinking fake beer. It's not as though beer tastes good.

Uh oh...looks like the Alien invasion is going to start. We've found facehuggers in the bottom of the ocean.

Wow...this is like discovering how to turn lead in to gold or cold fusion. The Japanese may be crazy, but they sure do come up big sometimes.