Farkin' Links Vol. 193

So, I was very amused by the strange email thread from yesterday. To make a long story short, it revolved around whether Andy would rather spend lunch with David Gahan, the lead singer for Depeche Mode, or some supposedly famous go-go dancer. Andy would rather spend the time with his idol from Depeche Mode, which caused the general reaction of, "What! Are you gay!" from everyone else. I can totally understand where he's coming from, though. I mean, there are thousands of go-go dancers, but only one lead singer of his favorite band. I could open up a phone book to escorts, and get any number of women to attend lunch with me. If the argument had been, lunch with Dave, or a night of wild sexcapades with said go-go dancer, the argument would be more difficult. Still, I can open a phone book to escorts and...well, you get the idea.

Thinking outside the box, however, I figured the best idea would be to have your cake and eat it too. I mean, if you go to lunch with Dave, but then invite the go-go dancer to come along and meet a rock star, chances are she's coming. From there, there are two likely scenarios. One, Dave starts hitting on the dancer, and is somewhat grateful for you for bringing something to the table, so you can use it to your advantage in backstage passes or some such nonsense. I think Andy wants to be a roadie. The other scenario would be that Dave is gay, but the go-go dancer is suitably impressed with your connections and you can parlay that into something as well. All in all, a pretty good situation for you. Andy, you wanna give this a try for us and tell us if it works?

On another subject, I watched Poseidon last night. This is the remake of the Poseidon Adventure from 1972. Now, everyone was on a lot of drugs back in the 70s, so I can understand how they somehow greenlighted a sequel. But, in this day and age, what were the powers that be thinking when they created this remake? The original was part of the disaster movie craze; Towering Inferno, Earthquake, Airport 77, that sort of thing. Take a group of well known actors, give them all shallow, one note personalities, place in a given life or death situation involving falling buildings, fires, or explosions where they're forced to work together in order to survive, rinse and repeat. That's basically the plot for all of these movies, and it remains the storyline for the new Poseidon. There are some pretty fun death scenes, lots of explosions for seemingly no reason(I think the ship may have been built out of asbestos, dynamite, and napalm) and lots of hold your breath water sequences. Does anybody else try to hold their breath along with a movie character to see if you could have swam down that 150 meter hallway, open a metal door with no leverage, and somehow find that one pocket of air? No...well, me neither. Forget I asked. Anyways, it's a fairly enjoyable popcorn flick, in that you're sort of rooting for everyone to die, if only to see how creative the filmmakers can make it. You may have noticed I've said absolutely nothing about the characters; well, the less said the better. They're just props that react to a giant cruise ship flipped over, on fire, and sinking. This movie is best viewed in the background while you're doing something else, or with 2 parts coke, 1 part Jack Daniels. I'll give it a 6/10, or in Tristan speak, a C+.

Hehe...many of you have seen the fauxtography going on with the Lebanon-Israeli war. The fakes, lies, and photoshopping. Well, now they have a do it yourself kit. This chick has been EVERYWHERE!

Wow! Not only do these ants bite faster than any living animal, but they know kung fu! They're like, flippy, ninja ants.

I wonder if Chris Hsieh had anything to do with this guide on not tipping bad waiters. It looks like his handiwork...I'm really gonn have to try the boxed lunch one, though. That one is flippin' brilliant.

I think I saw this goalie in the World Cup playing for Paraguay. No, wait, this guy sort of tried to stop the ball. Ads not safe for work.
Wow...that's just wrong. Tigger wouldn't go out like a punk...even though I've never seen Deadwood, this is still pretty funny.

This guy's going for father and husband of the year. Lighting your family on fire, then settling down for a beer? That's a Miller High Life man.

It's a darn good thing I don't steal cable anymore...I mean, why, I would never, EVER steal cable! That would be dishonest and wrong.

Sometimes the only way to fight bacteria is with bacteria...but I sure as heck don't want it in my toothpaste.

This is a poorly made side scroller...but it gets included because it has zombies. That one addition alone salvages the game.Adding zombies is almost equivalent to adding monkeys, ninjas, midgets, or pirates.

Man shoots his wife after seeing an Indian movie on marriage. Well, having sat through Bollywood movies myself, I would understand more if she had killed him for forcing her to watch one of those ridiculous movies.