Farkin' Links Vol. 194

Well, billing is tomorrow, so it's likely you ain't getting another one of these until next week. So enjoy your spam free day tomorrow. I had an ethical dilemma to deal with today. I was picking up lunch for Glenn in the office today, when I was jostled in the street by some crazy Asian lady with an umbrella. I was forced to break her umbrella in half and push her in front of a bus. By the way, that's not the ethical question yet. I dropped Glenn's fork into the street after this incident. Now, if you're not familiar with downtown Broadway, just imagine the most disgusting toilet you've ever seen, be it real or imagined; now imagine it covering an entire street. It's a place where you can actually see someone taking a crap right in broad daylight. Obviously this fork was not gonna be in good shape even with the 3 second rule in effect. The question is...should I tell him after he eats his meal with the fork, or should I keep it to myself?

I'm tired of these muthaf*cking snakes on this muthaf*cking helicopter! Uriel, I hope you do a better job of keeping these vermin off our nation's helicopters.

Hehe...listen to that engine purr...hey, did it just meow at me?These would be pretty cool ads for the Little League World Series; I think they should broaden the sponsors for this thing anyways. More people watch it than hockey.

I'm going to have to get my dad this shirt. This gives me flashbacks of growing up.

Hmmm...Lysol used to advertise itself for feminine hygiene. I'm just imagining the lovely Pine scent...

So...who wants a 29 year old virgin? No, I'm not talking about you, Jack, I'm talking about this chick who's pimping herself out on the internet.

Damn, who knew those cute, fluffy clouds could crush you like an empty beer can?

Ol' granny gets her profane personalized license plate, NWTF, back. I dunno; I think her last name is much more offensive, really.

Awww...Lindsay Lohan is mad about the fact that the media ignored Ashlee Simpson's nosejob. Can you blame them? They were too busy following your drunken escapades, b*tch!

...and last but certainly not least, is a gallery just for Andy. It's a collection of nipple slips from famous celebrities...don't get your hopes too high, Andy. Dave Gahan doesn't make an appearance. Not safe for work.