Farkin' Links Vol. 195

First off, I think everyone should congratulate Moody on his engagement to his lovely and charming fiance, Fatima. They had a really nice engagement party this past Sunday which involved weird Arabic music, Moody's dad telling embarrassing stories about his son (I'm sure he's been waiting for 29 years to do that; of course, his were cute, funny stories, not like the embarrassing we could have told. We'll just have to save those for his wedding), and this weird Xena: Warrior Princess war cry from the women at various times during the party. All in all, a very successful event and I wish nothing but happiness and success for the two of them.

The only other notable thing I did this weekend was change an air filter in a car. What should take 2 minutes took me about 20. I think car designers go out of their way to make it almost impossible to access parts of their engine without breaking another component. Personally, I think that's for our safety. I certainly don't want to be on the road with people who do their own brakes, which is why I try to not drive with Jack. I only bring this up because it reminded me of an incident when Jiffy Lube tried to take advantage of me. The "mechanic" comes in holding a horrifically dirty air filter and asks me if I'd like to get it changed out. I answer,"Well, maybe if you showed me my actual air filter, I could tell you." Acting confused he asked me what I meant. I told him that the air filter in his hand isn't the same type as the one in my car, so either he's an idiot, or a liar. He chose option number one and pretended that it was another guy's air filter and went off to find him. I don't mind paying professionals to make sure my car runs correctly, but I don't like being insulted. According to Scott Adams, the definition of a professional is someone who knows a little bit more than you. I'd recommend everyone look into learning a bit about their car in order to discourage this type of robbery.

For our "Japanese people are crazy" link, we revist that wacky exercise/English lesson show. They're doing prep work for visiting Detroit, learning what to say to potential muggers, rapists, and murders.

Those wacky Chinese keep trying to take away that crazy title from Japan. Probably revenge for that Nanking incident...anyways, in this story involves a woman trying to teach her dog how to drive. Maybe the dog realized she was taking him to her restaurant for dinner.

I bet you thought I was done with China...well, apparently the authorities had to step in and ban strippers being hired to perform at funerals. Personally, I think it's a wonderful idea. I'm sure my grandfather would have heartily approved.

Jumping across the Strait, Taiwan apparently has the worst drinking water in the world. Of course, dead bodies floating in your water supply will do that.

Here's a nice list of insane weathermen...although, I figured that was part of the job description. That, and a George Hamilton tan.

Darn it! I missed another nipple slip...this time at the Emmy's. Oh well, I'll just have to be content with my porn collection.

Wow...and you thought YOU had a bad weekend. Let this be a lesson; if you're planning on playing with dildos, make sure you use proper lubricant.

I dunno about you, but I want my tongue nowhere near my *ss...or vice versa.

From the Norweigan Department of Obviousness, 1 in 5 woman have been harrassed by drunken men the past year. Oddly enough, women 20-29 seem most at risk. Funny, I would have thought it was the 60-69...they look hot enough when I'm drunk.

This is rather amusing; the marines guarding Saddam are making him watch the South Park movie where he plays the gay lover of Satan. I'm not sure whether he's insulted or flattered.