Farkin' Links Vol. 196

USA! USA! Our little leaguers just kicked the crap out of the world's little leaguers, so it's reason to celebrate. Nothing like putting the intense pressure of all your country's expectations on 11 year olds. That won't result in any long term scarring, right? It's not like parents aren't already living vicariously through their children when they're competing in the local championship in butt-f*ck nowheres; imagine what kind of crap they go through when they're representing their damn country on ESPN. There's gonna be a lot of therapists making some good money 10 years from now.

The great part about the victory by the Georgia team is that they beat a Japanese team. Nothing warms my heart like seeing Japanese children bawling their eyes out as their dreams lie broken and strewn about the ballfield like so much litter. I'm still bitter over Pearl Harbor. I mean, if they can act like victims every anniversary of Hiroshima and Nagasaki which only occurred due to a war they started, than I can remain angry about the death and destruction they reigned down on the world because of an arrogant, racist, self importance. On the other hand, they do make really good cars. Of course, so do zee Germans. I wonder if there is a correlation?

Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.
--Evan Esar

Since I've just bashed on the Japanese, I will give them their props with this article. They do make the coolest food...I mean, chocolate goldfish? BRILLIANT!

Stretching is always a good thing when you're working out. This, however, is called getting a little TOO loose.

I know Paul may disagree, but I'd say this was a much better prank than making it look like his car was stolen. Of course, we managed not to get prosecuted.

Here's Maxim's greatest 11 movie coaches. I don't see how they missed the Fonz' turn in the Waterboy...but mostly I love the fact that they managed to reference Big Trouble in Little China. That may be the greatest movie ever made.

I'd say this guy's theory that Fight Club really revolves around a grown up Calvin and Hobbes is nutty...if it weren't so eerily spot on. I want you all to complete the discussion questions so we can have a roundtable discussion later.

This is a ridiculously terrible game involving Bill Cosby, pudding, and murder. I only include it because The Hoff is in it. Everything is better with the Hoff. In fact, he goes on the pirates, ninjas, monkeys, and midgets list.

Speaking of the Hoff...this would be the best birthday present ever! I can't understand this kid. He's obviously a damn loser.

Cool...this commercial is a nice blast from the past. I have no idea what this game was, but I suddenly want to buy it. NSFW.

This site just keeps on giving. This one is for Moody; this was his favorite song in Germany...other than Nelly Furtado's Promiscious.

Newjen should love this one; it's not quite as good as his fireworks special on the 4th, but neither is the one at Disneyland. Still, these bunch of rednecks put on quite a potential forest fire.