Farkin' Links Vol. 191

Another day, another season for 24. As I mentioned before, I got through the 2nd season of 24 in about 3 days...which is either impressive or pathetic, depending on your point of view. It's easily my new favorite show, although one I could never actually watch while it's on tv. There's no way I'd want to wait a week to find out what happened; for some reason, cliff hanging type events always seem to occur around the end of any particular hour. A strange coincidence, no?

Jack Bauer has officially become the baddest man to ever appear on television. I don't care if he's played by one of the brat pack who can't be more than 5'5", nor do I care that he's incessantly screaming "Tell me where the bomb/virus/insert storyline MacGuffin here is!" He's easily the most ruthless hero character that has ever been put on prime time. He makes Batman look like a queer in tights...of course, the tights don't help out Batman in this argument. Still, how many heroes have you seen develop a heroin addiction trying to go undercover with a drug cartel? How many heroes would shoot a protected witness, remove his head with a knife, and deliver it to a villian in order to penetrate his inner circle?

Oh sure, there are plenty of plot holes and ridiculous contrivances to make the plot work. I mean, come on, a Senator getting elected President? Ha, you wish, John Kerry, Bob Dole, etc. The most ridiculous plot point is the fact that people can drive around Los Angeles at will. Just once I wanna see Jack Bauer stuck on the 101 downtown listening to KFI for and episode and a half. He thinks his day is bad? It would be much worse if he had to sit in traffic for 4 hours.

I think one of the major draws to this show is that they kill off a man character every couple of episodes. It's like Survivor, only the person voted off the island is either shot in the head, or infected with some ebola virus...which, I think would make Survivor much more watchable. In fact, unless your name is either Keifer or Sutherland, chances are you're not making it through the day. In fact, you're more likely to actually be shot in the head by Jack Bauer than anyone else...and that includes the good guys. I'm telling you, Jack is one bad mutha...

The second half of a man's life is made up of nothing but the habits he has acquired during the first half.
-Fyodor Dostoevsky

This "kid" is in little league...and it's not even the Dominican Republic? I call shenanigans.

This bartender just guaranteed he's getting no tips. This is why bartenders rank very high on the list of people who wield far too much power for their job title.

Firefighters were almost murdered for not rescuing a cat from a tree. Well, maybe that's excessive, but isn't that really all they're good for most days? I'd rather have them doing something useful instead of playing playstation at their station.

Damn; this little 6 year old is one bad...actually, he doesn't need counseling. He needs a swift kick in the *ss.

The average age of a child prostitute in Phoenix is 13. I wonder how much field testing was required?

This is a fun little racer...that I totally suck at. It's a damn good thing I don't drive as bad in real life as I do in video games.

Wow...Indian man wants one of his two functioning penises removed. I say keep it and go into Japanese porn. I'm sure Alex would buy at least two copies of all your films.

Awww...I love all my moms too. Of course, my dad hasn't been married to them at the same time.

This is a cute site with basic football 101 identifying positions and plays. It's a good start for the ladies...and Abe, who picks his fantasy football players with his eyes closed and a strong faith in God. Not a chance this season, Abe. Not a chance.

This is quite an impressive weed factory. Moody, don't book the flight to Tennessee just yet. I'm guessing this place has already been shut down.