Farkin' Links Vol. 97 6/24

Friday is finally here. I had an interesting signing this morning, well, interesting for me, at least. I was cruising down Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. on my way to meet a man at his place of employment dodging racing cop cars with sirens blaring. Word of advice, if you're in any major city in the U.S. and you're on Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd at night, you're screwed. I knew King had a dream, but I don't think it was to have a street named after him in every crime addled and crack dealing neighborhood in the country. Anyways, I was counting down the numbers as usual,"1400, 1500, 1564. Cool. Hey...that's a police station." For a moment I was worried that I'd be signing with a guy in an orange jumpsuit passing papers between a glass wall, but then I remembered that it was this guy's place of employment; even if loans are being given out to anybody and their dog at this point, I'm pretty sure criminals don't list the police as their employers.

After walking into the station, I had to endure a cop doing a stand up routine to the enjoyment of another group of cops who obviously have a damaged sense of humor(Seriously, guy, don't quit your day job.) At least they weren't eating donuts, I suppose. After he declared he'd be there all week and they dispersed, I was finally assisted with the location of my guy, in the detective department. The man I was signing with was Detective Payne...quite the cool name I have to admit. I was a little disappointed that he wasn't a tall guy in a trenchcoat spouting third rate Chandleresque dialogue. Actually, he was a short black guy wearing a tan dress shirt and a hideous tie that I was tempted to tear off his neck and stomp on. Maybe that's part of his game. Instead of doing the signing at his desk, he leads me into the freakin' interrogation room! It's exactly how it looks in the movies; a small spartan room with a one way window/mirror, a scratched, faded wooden desk and two worn padded chairs. It's like a room out of time; it could be 2005 or 1905 in that place. Needless to say, I was feeling a little claustraphobic in there. It only got worse when I had to fingerprint this cop for my book. "Heh, this is a switch. Me getting fingerprinted in the police station?" Just as long as I wasn't getting fingerprinted, comedian. The one bonus of this trip is there was absolutely no way I could get mugged or shot in here...until I walked to my car.

"We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police."
--Jeff Marder


Hmmm...I guess the dolphins have competition for the ocean's most slutty creatures. Who knew Starbucks would take advantage of sex to sell coffee?

Oh my goodness...that's not good, is it? Drugs are bad, m'kay? Especially if you're thinking of taking it to Thailand. NSFW

That's a pretty cool guitar, although it would limit your rocking out and smashing it on the stage antics.

Looks like the American Film Institute has yet another top 100 list, this time with movie quotes. Too bad most of these movies are ones you've never seen. Sadly, no quotes from Army of Darkness.

For the "Japanese people are crazy" link for the day, we have new updated pillows for lonely men. Well, Cornershop said it best in their song Brimful of Asha, "Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow..."

I dunno about these urinals...they seem too nice to be peeing into. I just hope this exhibit doesn't let any homeless people in. I'm sure they have no problem testing them out.

Damn, marriage certainly sounds like lots of fun for this couple.

See? You don't need tv or videogames to entertain yourself. Just a couple of close friends and some dangerous wrestling moves is all you need for fun.

I'm not sure what he was expecting jumping down a cliff on a bike, but this is what is referred to as evolution in action.

Hehe...don't be hard on her, it was her first time. That, or the production values of Sweden are worse than your average high school in the States.

This game is kind of hard...but extremely bloody, so have fun killing goths. The dorks that dress up in black and listen to death metal, not the guys who sacked Rome.

Well, I guess that's one way to exorcise demons...although the whole death thing sort of defeats the purpose.

I think this soldier must have skipped that gun safety class...oh well, I bet he won't be making that mistake again, once he gets out of the hospital.

This is a fun game if you've seen way too many movies like I have. See how many you can guess correctly!

This is a neat site full of old advertisements from the 50's. People used to be easily impressed.

Yet another silly study by scientists...this one in likelihood to justify the fact that they can't get a date.

Hehe...this looks like what Uriel was doing on his last night in Cali. NSFW

O.K. Craig's list is a scary, scary place.

I know it's a joke and all, but this would be totally awesome. I think God really did love the world enough to give us Monster trucks.

This is a fun game, although I think I'm violating the first and second rules of Fight Club just showing you.