Farkin' Links Vol. 99 6/28

I got around to watching the movie Hitch last night, the movie starring Will Smith as a dating doctor named Hitch who helps guys get the girl of their dreams. It's a silly, breezy romantic comedy that has enough actual funny to keep a guy watching it, but make no mistake, it's still a romantic chick movie. The first hour is much better than the last as it devolves into what is supposed to be an emotional rollercoaster and ends in the usual way; Will Smith's character makes a damn fool out of himself and begs like a dog to the girl he's in love with. Unlike in real life, where a woman ends up laughing about the sorry schmuck over a drink with her friends, in these movies she usually relents and deems him pitiful enough to take back...and you gals wonder why guys hate watching romantic movies. Kevin James, the fat schlub who Will Smith helps get with a billionaire beautiful heiress, manages to steal every scene he's in. I've never seen him before, but I understand he's on one of the countless sitcoms starring a fat blue collar everyman who is somehow married to a hot chick. Either way, his dance moves are worth watching the movie for alone. I gotta learn that "Makin' the pizza;" pure gold. This movie reminded me of why I like Will Smith; he hasn't been funny or cool in a while since he's been trying to be a real "actor." He's very much like Jim Carrey in this; sure, they can both do drama fairly well, but why? When they're on top of their game, nobody is funnier. Anyone can do drama, but like that old quote, "Dying is easy, comedy is hard." Oh yeah, the movie itself? I'll give it a 6.5/10. Eva Mendes, the female love interest to Hitch brings this movie down a couple points by herself...the main thing you'll have to suspend belief in is that Will Smith actually likes her.

"I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!"
--Tom Lehrer


Oooohhh...jus' like Sony! Toshiba guts inside.

"Japanese people are crazy," alright, but this is the best use for a water pistol I've ever seen. NSFW

This seems to defeat the whole point of video games ,which is being lazy.

Damn robots are taking all the cool jobs. It's only a matter of time before Skynet destroys us all.

If you needed any evidence that modern day sports stars are a bunch of pussies, here you go.

Hmmm...Jack spent a lot of time playing Street Fighter; I wonder if he learned any of these moves. Still, this guy gets knocked the pho-k out, so it's well worth the view.

This is a cool "Death Wish" vigilante story about a bastard getting turned into a hunka hunka burnin' love. They say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, so when you mess with their children...

WOW! No, really, just WOW! If you're gonna do this, you shouldn't let people film you. This makes Leroy look cool by comparison.
(Hat tip: Uriel)

Jeez...suddenly, the annoyance of a speeding limit is put into perspective. I usually don't have to worry about getting killed if I drive to slowly.

So that's what happened to my missing package...Ummm...it was for research and stuff.

Jesus Christ is pretty cool and all, but I wouldn't describe him as a superhero. I mean, he's no Ghostrider or anything.

Hehe...according to this study, our friends down under are drinking less beer and more wine and liquor. Of course, less beer a night for an Aussie is called alcohol poisoning anywhere else.

In yet another blow to private businesses, those dirty jews show they control the world. Hehe, just kidding. That's what I get for reading the Democratic Underground again.

Hmmm...if this is what you get from living in Kansas, maybe Dorothy wasn't so bad off ending up in a land of lollipop midgets and flying monkeys.

See, this is why I don't like camping. You're basically a bag of chips for Yogi when he finds out you have no picnic basket.

I suppose that this is entirely inappropriate, but this principal is a total tease. I thought the new hotness for educators was personal and private sex education classes.

We are the world...we are the children...I know I'm supposed to be inspired by this film, but I can't help but be reminded by how much the rest of the world sucks.

Well, this survey shows Canadians are a bunch of gullible morons...but then, we already knew that, right?

Great...as though I needed another excuse to eat dark chocolate.

What a strange, strange link. Eh, enjoy.