Farkin' Links Vol. 66 5/3
For those of you who care at all, the basketball playoffs have been fairly entertaining this year. Usually it's the same damn teams doing the same damn thing, but this year we've had a changing of the guard. The Chicago Bulls are back, sort of, and are playing the Washington Wizards who haven't been in the playoffs since last century. Last night saw an epic matchup between the youngsters on the Denver Nuggets led by "Not Lebron" Carmelo Anthony vs. the playoff veterans and the big fundamental himself, Tim Duncan. I like the Nuggets because they have Earl Boykins, a point guard who's just a little taller than my mom at 5'5". You'd think a midget like that wouldn't be able to do much in the NBA, but he only went for 32 points last night. Unfortunately, it was a losing effort, but they look to be back next year and even more pissed off. When these two teams play, you'd think a rugby game broke out. The only thing it's missing is a penalty box and legalized fighting like in hockey.
"Playoff basketball you don't play in skirts."
--Nate McMillan
Hmmm...just in case the Axis powers invade, you'll be able to send out a warning to the Allies with this handy little program.
Man...this game maybe harder than actually playing horseshoes! It is kind of addictive, though.
Ooohhh....off the second floor...nothing but net.
Damn...I've said it before and I'll say it again. Old people...they'll pho-k you up.
Haha...this is why guns and alcohol don't mix.
You know, that's pretty affordable to join the mile high club...and cheap champagne to boot!
Hehe...I thought I was a bad parker..and I am, but this is just classic. Makes Tyrone from that movie Snatch look like a stunt driver.
What the hell is wrong with guys in Norway? This is normally something a guy fantasies about, in Norway, it's a crime.
I guess if you want a life of crime with the Yakuza, you have to learn to talk the talk. These helpful lessons should get you started.
So this is what happened to Calvin when he grew up. He can't blame this one on Hobbes.
I could park my car like this...just not on purpose. (Hat Tip: Uriel)
Wow...this guy is a worse driver than Chih Hao. How do you almost drown yourself in a car? (Hat tip: Uriel)
In case you thought having a monkey butler would be cool, you might want to check this site out first. They're not always bright, clever and fun to be around.
I guess everyone has to have a hobby...I'm just not sure that stalking is the best choice.
Is it just me, or these two chicks hot?
Ahhh man...so THAT'S what that green drink surprise they served me at that bar in Lima was!
In the past, full bodied women were considered desirable and beautiful because they were obviously able to feed themselves regularly, so I'm not really surprised by this competition. I didn't see a whole lot of fat chicks in Thailand...except for the tourists, of course.
Wow...these people are making money selling their bodies and it's not science?
This would be pretty cool, as long as Amtrak isn't involved in any way. Can you imagine a derailment of one of these babies?
...and for the best link of the day that is TOTALLY UNSAFE FOR WORK! Here's a ranking of the top ten lesbian movie scenes...with pictures. Outside of porn, I suppose it's pretty good.
Friday, April 29, 2005
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 65 5/2
I hope you all had a nice weekend; I got to say goodbye to my little brother who's joining the Airforce next month. Since we're not chicks, we didn't have a tearful goodbye or anything; we basically goofed around and watched silly movies like Starsky and Hutch and Spinal Tap. He's supposed to be going into intelligence and he's being sent off to some school to train him how to speak German. If the military thing falls though, he'll at least be able to get roles in movies playing a Nazi. Nazis never go out of style for villians in movies even though they've been dead and buried for 60 years. Speaking of old people, we all visited my grandmother this weekend who's turning 71 this year. She's at that point where she can't hear very well anymore so she shouts everything and thinks it's normal; in other words, she suffers from Voice Immodulation like that Will Ferrell skit on SNL. She's cool because she believes in all these crazy conspiracies and talks about them as matter of fact like she's talking about the weather. Things like how the Illuminati controls the government and are angling the world towards Armaggedon which will take place in Israel...it's like having my own personal Michael Moore in the family. Well, that was a ramble; enjoy the links.
"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped."
--Elbert Hubbard
That's just sick and wrong...although I bet his ears were kept pretty clean.
Although only a Cal-Tech nerd would even consider going through the trouble of doing this(Read Ben Wu)I can think of several things I'd like to record on those annoying talking fish.
A phone with a 4 gigabyte harddrive for mp3s, a 2 megapixel camera AND high speed wireless access? It's...so...beautiful...I think I'm gonna cry...
This is pretty cool site with vintage pictures of my hometown. L.A., I mean, Not Diamond Bar. I mean, that would just be silly.
What do you get when you combine that old arcade game Asteroids and a bunch of sheep? Sheepteroids, I guess. Hehe...sounds like an STD.
Paul should enjoy this game and the treatment of kitties...
I don't remember Excitebike being this violent.
I supposed this gives this fella some street cred, but seriously, how can anybody competing on American Idol be called a "rocker?" I just can't see Vince Neil up there crooning "Girls, Girls, Girls" to compete with Kelly Clarkson.
This link is for Chih Hao if he ends up in Alabama again with nothing to do. It sounds like a fun game to play in Walmart.
Well, I'll be reading more of Shelly the Lesbian Love Doctor more often. Especially if the letters are this bizarre every time.
I, for one, can't wait to see the Wirlyball finals which will probably be coming to ESPN6 sometime this year sandwiched between the Magic:the Gathering competition and the Rock, Paper Scissors finals.
This is new; an urban dictionary where individuals get to put in their own definitions of words. This Cap'n Bullmoose has some interesting definitions which are totally chungus.
For the silly ebay auction of the day, we have a pair of lucky underwear. Lucky, in that you'd be lucky not to contract chlamdyia just touching this thing.
Wow! Maybe Cliff Claven WAS on to something with his Buffalo theory regarding alcohol consumption!
Hey Vicky, if you're still looking for a tattoo, this is a good site to get some ideas for. I say you go for the full sleeve Boba Fett tat...
Back when I was in elementary school, all I had to worry about was getting in a fight; I certainly didn't have to worry about getting infected with AIDS.
These people need to be publicly flogged; who the hell would stiff the Girl Scouts? I mean, I understand how great those cookies are, but come on! They're 4 bucks a box!
Well, here's some tax money well spent. This is what Britney Spears and Paris Hilton hath wrought with their stupid toy dogs.
Hehe...in the "Japanese people are crazy" link for the day, we have a former racing model who decided she could drive one of those F1 cars just as well as the fellas.
Here's a news flash for you health experts, Shut your pho-kin' traps! Nobody wants your useless and contradictory advice!
I hope you all had a nice weekend; I got to say goodbye to my little brother who's joining the Airforce next month. Since we're not chicks, we didn't have a tearful goodbye or anything; we basically goofed around and watched silly movies like Starsky and Hutch and Spinal Tap. He's supposed to be going into intelligence and he's being sent off to some school to train him how to speak German. If the military thing falls though, he'll at least be able to get roles in movies playing a Nazi. Nazis never go out of style for villians in movies even though they've been dead and buried for 60 years. Speaking of old people, we all visited my grandmother this weekend who's turning 71 this year. She's at that point where she can't hear very well anymore so she shouts everything and thinks it's normal; in other words, she suffers from Voice Immodulation like that Will Ferrell skit on SNL. She's cool because she believes in all these crazy conspiracies and talks about them as matter of fact like she's talking about the weather. Things like how the Illuminati controls the government and are angling the world towards Armaggedon which will take place in Israel...it's like having my own personal Michael Moore in the family. Well, that was a ramble; enjoy the links.
"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped."
--Elbert Hubbard
That's just sick and wrong...although I bet his ears were kept pretty clean.
Although only a Cal-Tech nerd would even consider going through the trouble of doing this(Read Ben Wu)I can think of several things I'd like to record on those annoying talking fish.
A phone with a 4 gigabyte harddrive for mp3s, a 2 megapixel camera AND high speed wireless access? It's...so...beautiful...I think I'm gonna cry...
This is pretty cool site with vintage pictures of my hometown. L.A., I mean, Not Diamond Bar. I mean, that would just be silly.
What do you get when you combine that old arcade game Asteroids and a bunch of sheep? Sheepteroids, I guess. Hehe...sounds like an STD.
Paul should enjoy this game and the treatment of kitties...
I don't remember Excitebike being this violent.
I supposed this gives this fella some street cred, but seriously, how can anybody competing on American Idol be called a "rocker?" I just can't see Vince Neil up there crooning "Girls, Girls, Girls" to compete with Kelly Clarkson.
This link is for Chih Hao if he ends up in Alabama again with nothing to do. It sounds like a fun game to play in Walmart.
Well, I'll be reading more of Shelly the Lesbian Love Doctor more often. Especially if the letters are this bizarre every time.
I, for one, can't wait to see the Wirlyball finals which will probably be coming to ESPN6 sometime this year sandwiched between the Magic:the Gathering competition and the Rock, Paper Scissors finals.
This is new; an urban dictionary where individuals get to put in their own definitions of words. This Cap'n Bullmoose has some interesting definitions which are totally chungus.
For the silly ebay auction of the day, we have a pair of lucky underwear. Lucky, in that you'd be lucky not to contract chlamdyia just touching this thing.
Wow! Maybe Cliff Claven WAS on to something with his Buffalo theory regarding alcohol consumption!
Hey Vicky, if you're still looking for a tattoo, this is a good site to get some ideas for. I say you go for the full sleeve Boba Fett tat...
Back when I was in elementary school, all I had to worry about was getting in a fight; I certainly didn't have to worry about getting infected with AIDS.
These people need to be publicly flogged; who the hell would stiff the Girl Scouts? I mean, I understand how great those cookies are, but come on! They're 4 bucks a box!
Well, here's some tax money well spent. This is what Britney Spears and Paris Hilton hath wrought with their stupid toy dogs.
Hehe...in the "Japanese people are crazy" link for the day, we have a former racing model who decided she could drive one of those F1 cars just as well as the fellas.
Here's a news flash for you health experts, Shut your pho-kin' traps! Nobody wants your useless and contradictory advice!
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 64 4/29
Another day, another bowl of pho. I better stop eating it all the time or I'm going to ruin it for my tastebuds like I did with Tequila that one night where...uhhh...nevermind. Still, I tried a new pho place that Newjen had found and it tasted...well, it tasted a whole lot like pho. Kim and Tony attempted to convince me that the broth was different, but I do believe they're talking out of their asses. They can fool themselves, but they can't fool me. We did come to the conclusion last night during a baseball videogame that any sort of glitch which screws one team over on a play is now officially called a "Dirt Newjinski." This named in dishonor of Tony's ability to take advantage of existing errors in code or to just plain play outside the spirit of fair play which he excels at. The funny part is that he's rather proud of being known to be a dirty player; if only he'd been bigger he would have made a great heel in wrestling. He could have given the Iron Sheik a run for his money.
"The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible."
--Jean Kerr
See, this is why I don't go to any Renaissance fairs...or is it faires?
Poor Bruce Willis...he was forced, FORCED to kiss Jessica Alba in Sin City. It sure is tough being a movie star.
So, if anybody is looking for a birthday present for me later in the year...DO NOT get me this.
One bonus of men getting married is that they're stopped from buying furniture like this.
Talk about slow! This guy took 7 years to get a joke...and then promptly killed the joker. I guess it wasn't very funny.
Wow...cell phones...what CAN'T they do!?
Not only is being a movie star tough, but I guess partying like a rock star is hazardous to your health.
The Governator really is the coolest guy. Seriously, folks, would you rather have Ahnold and his great quotes like this or that bland loser Gray Davis?
After you get used to the controls, this paintball game is pretty fun and it leaves less bruises than the real thing.
Didn't like that one? How about a parachuting Daffy Duck?
O.K., fine, that one sucked too. Everyone loves darts, though, right?
I'm not really a fan of the whole giant rubber band as a bracelet thing, but I think I might wear this one.
Whoops...I guess the Auschwitz model BMW should be just around the corner at this point.
Hulk Hogan IS the real American! I didn't know he could play the guitar!
I guess his wife just isn't that kinky.
I dunno what's wrong with these youngsters today; I'm definitely not bored of porn yet.
This headline is about as surprising as learning that water makes you wet.
Wow...this just isn't Vader's week, is it? First that terrible commercial, now getting hassled by the "man?"
This seems like a lot of work to keep your drink from getting spiked...you might as well hire a midget to taste it first.
Whoa...this is just like that Pina Colada song, only with prostitution.
Another day, another bowl of pho. I better stop eating it all the time or I'm going to ruin it for my tastebuds like I did with Tequila that one night where...uhhh...nevermind. Still, I tried a new pho place that Newjen had found and it tasted...well, it tasted a whole lot like pho. Kim and Tony attempted to convince me that the broth was different, but I do believe they're talking out of their asses. They can fool themselves, but they can't fool me. We did come to the conclusion last night during a baseball videogame that any sort of glitch which screws one team over on a play is now officially called a "Dirt Newjinski." This named in dishonor of Tony's ability to take advantage of existing errors in code or to just plain play outside the spirit of fair play which he excels at. The funny part is that he's rather proud of being known to be a dirty player; if only he'd been bigger he would have made a great heel in wrestling. He could have given the Iron Sheik a run for his money.
"The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible."
--Jean Kerr
See, this is why I don't go to any Renaissance fairs...or is it faires?
Poor Bruce Willis...he was forced, FORCED to kiss Jessica Alba in Sin City. It sure is tough being a movie star.
So, if anybody is looking for a birthday present for me later in the year...DO NOT get me this.
One bonus of men getting married is that they're stopped from buying furniture like this.
Talk about slow! This guy took 7 years to get a joke...and then promptly killed the joker. I guess it wasn't very funny.
Wow...cell phones...what CAN'T they do!?
Not only is being a movie star tough, but I guess partying like a rock star is hazardous to your health.
The Governator really is the coolest guy. Seriously, folks, would you rather have Ahnold and his great quotes like this or that bland loser Gray Davis?
After you get used to the controls, this paintball game is pretty fun and it leaves less bruises than the real thing.
Didn't like that one? How about a parachuting Daffy Duck?
O.K., fine, that one sucked too. Everyone loves darts, though, right?
I'm not really a fan of the whole giant rubber band as a bracelet thing, but I think I might wear this one.
Whoops...I guess the Auschwitz model BMW should be just around the corner at this point.
Hulk Hogan IS the real American! I didn't know he could play the guitar!
I guess his wife just isn't that kinky.
I dunno what's wrong with these youngsters today; I'm definitely not bored of porn yet.
This headline is about as surprising as learning that water makes you wet.
Wow...this just isn't Vader's week, is it? First that terrible commercial, now getting hassled by the "man?"
This seems like a lot of work to keep your drink from getting spiked...you might as well hire a midget to taste it first.
Whoa...this is just like that Pina Colada song, only with prostitution.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 63 4/28
I reminded myself why I never go to Best Buy anymore since I walked out of there with a huge box full of electronics that cost well over 200 bucks. Since I had already spent the equivalent of my car payment, I figured a nice dinner that didn't involve a drive-thru would barely be a drop in the bucket. I had been craving some pho since Newjen got me tuned to it in preparation for the Vietnam trip. Pho, which is pronounced fa, as in a long long way to run(Thank you, Julie Andrews)is a hot noodle soup with fish sauce. I have a Vietnamese restaurant right by my place with a very uninteresting name, Saigion Noodle House, which did the trick. Speaking of names, out in L.A. the other day, I saw a place named Pho-bulous. That's far more memorable than the place by me which makes me think maybe they should go with a more edgy name. You know, like Pho-kin' Good! Not only is it a name that sticks like peanutbutter to the brain, but it's crass without actually violating any city ordinances. But enough about my pho-kin' day, here are your links.
"Everyone is as God has made him, and oftentimes a great deal worse."
--Miguel De Cervantes
Something tells me this guy failed all his classes...but looked damn cool doing it.
This is one of my favorite games in the arcade, but playing it during work makes it even better.
This guy ain't no Tony Hawk...I'm not even sure he ranks Tony Nguyen, and he's a poseur skater.
Looks like Marlon is at it again...maybe he should start wearing body armor to go with that helmet.
Remember that stupid hoser that couldn't remember the words to the National Anthem and then feel on her keister? They got some video, eh.
Speaking of crappy winter sports that nobody watches, check out dog curling, or as Charles Barkley refers to it, Sweeping!
This game starts out pretty easy...then gets progressively harder. Damn aliens! You drive like a woman! Oh wait...I'm driving...
Damn...talk about having some bad luck. I guess this is what happens when you piss of Itchy and Scratchy.
This restaurant owner definitely deserves a fine for throwing out two chicks kissing...but only if the lesbians were hot.
Oohhh...how the mighty have fallen. First he gets portrayed by that jackass Hayden Christensen, now he's doing cell phone commercials. Next thing you know, he'll be doing another Christmas special...and we definitely don't want that!
I guess domestic violence isn't the best theme for a "Bring it On" dance competition. At least they didn't go with an Eminem song.
Whoa...that settles the matter. I am NEVER going sky diving.
Wait a minute...this is the country that gives us legalized prostitution, marijuana and porn you've never even dreamed of. Is this really that big of a shock? Of course, if she had been an American, she probably would have molested one of her students in the photoshoot.
Oh man...this guy really got carried away with what our gay friend Vladimir would call his "foreign aid."
In the "Japanese people are crazy" link, Japan complains about China's version of World War II in textbooks. Besides, Japan claims, Mao killed far more Chinese than they ever did.
Well, this is just embarrassing. First, they change their name to the silly Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, now they're wearing magical bags and mystical amulets. If they start trying to sacrifice the rally monkey in order to win the division, I'm getting off the bandwagon.
Legend Bobby Orr is worried that hockey is in danger of becoming irrelevant. I'm going to have to do a little research about this hockey thing...I think it might be a sport.
This is pretty exciting, for a flash video about stick figures, anyways.
Wow...I need to purchase one of these when they're ready for the market.
Maybe they're not eating enough carrots up there in Washington, but these two separate incidents can't just be a coincidence.
I reminded myself why I never go to Best Buy anymore since I walked out of there with a huge box full of electronics that cost well over 200 bucks. Since I had already spent the equivalent of my car payment, I figured a nice dinner that didn't involve a drive-thru would barely be a drop in the bucket. I had been craving some pho since Newjen got me tuned to it in preparation for the Vietnam trip. Pho, which is pronounced fa, as in a long long way to run(Thank you, Julie Andrews)is a hot noodle soup with fish sauce. I have a Vietnamese restaurant right by my place with a very uninteresting name, Saigion Noodle House, which did the trick. Speaking of names, out in L.A. the other day, I saw a place named Pho-bulous. That's far more memorable than the place by me which makes me think maybe they should go with a more edgy name. You know, like Pho-kin' Good! Not only is it a name that sticks like peanutbutter to the brain, but it's crass without actually violating any city ordinances. But enough about my pho-kin' day, here are your links.
"Everyone is as God has made him, and oftentimes a great deal worse."
--Miguel De Cervantes
Something tells me this guy failed all his classes...but looked damn cool doing it.
This is one of my favorite games in the arcade, but playing it during work makes it even better.
This guy ain't no Tony Hawk...I'm not even sure he ranks Tony Nguyen, and he's a poseur skater.
Looks like Marlon is at it again...maybe he should start wearing body armor to go with that helmet.
Remember that stupid hoser that couldn't remember the words to the National Anthem and then feel on her keister? They got some video, eh.
Speaking of crappy winter sports that nobody watches, check out dog curling, or as Charles Barkley refers to it, Sweeping!
This game starts out pretty easy...then gets progressively harder. Damn aliens! You drive like a woman! Oh wait...I'm driving...
Damn...talk about having some bad luck. I guess this is what happens when you piss of Itchy and Scratchy.
This restaurant owner definitely deserves a fine for throwing out two chicks kissing...but only if the lesbians were hot.
Oohhh...how the mighty have fallen. First he gets portrayed by that jackass Hayden Christensen, now he's doing cell phone commercials. Next thing you know, he'll be doing another Christmas special...and we definitely don't want that!
I guess domestic violence isn't the best theme for a "Bring it On" dance competition. At least they didn't go with an Eminem song.
Whoa...that settles the matter. I am NEVER going sky diving.
Wait a minute...this is the country that gives us legalized prostitution, marijuana and porn you've never even dreamed of. Is this really that big of a shock? Of course, if she had been an American, she probably would have molested one of her students in the photoshoot.
Oh man...this guy really got carried away with what our gay friend Vladimir would call his "foreign aid."
In the "Japanese people are crazy" link, Japan complains about China's version of World War II in textbooks. Besides, Japan claims, Mao killed far more Chinese than they ever did.
Well, this is just embarrassing. First, they change their name to the silly Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, now they're wearing magical bags and mystical amulets. If they start trying to sacrifice the rally monkey in order to win the division, I'm getting off the bandwagon.
Legend Bobby Orr is worried that hockey is in danger of becoming irrelevant. I'm going to have to do a little research about this hockey thing...I think it might be a sport.
This is pretty exciting, for a flash video about stick figures, anyways.
Wow...I need to purchase one of these when they're ready for the market.
Maybe they're not eating enough carrots up there in Washington, but these two separate incidents can't just be a coincidence.
Monday, April 25, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 62 4/27
I must have jinxed myself by saying how much I enjoy my side job as a notary, because last night's events were surreal and scary enough to be called kafkaesque(But only if you're an English major like Tristan or Carol.) The fact that I was driving around Compton at 9 p.m. was bad enough; I had to pull a Michael Bolton from Office Space and pump up some rap station so I wouldn't stick out like a white man in the hood. I was assisted by this rather eloquent homeless crackhead who knew his directions better than the useless speed freak at the Mobil station. Since everything I know comes from the movies, I'm assuming this guy was one of those magical black men that wanders the earth helping out white people, like in The Legend of Bagger Vance or Morpheus in the Matrix. I very glad I met one of them instead of one looking to shoot me and steal my shoes. Well, any adventure in Compton that I come out without having been mugged or stabbed is a successful one. Oh, the links. Enjoy...
"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."
--Dorothy Nevill
Just a follow up on that Natasha Lyonne is a crack head story...it seems her father isn't too happy about the charges.
The inspiration for one of the great Seinfeld episodes is back!
I found the Triumph the Dog skit at the Star Wars movie line. Not safe for work because you'll be laughing your ass off.
How the heck does a Swedish right's group get mad about an ice cream having a racist name towards blacks? Did the 1 black guy living there complain? I know how to solve the problem; change the name nogger to nogga. It seems to work for the rappers.
I'm not real fond of the whole pimp my ride thing, but even I have to admit; this is pretty cool.
Boy...becoming a police officer sure looks fun! I always wanted to taser a man just for the hell of it.
They say everyone is a whore, it's just a matter of the price. I'd accept far less than this chick, but, hell, good on ya!
This better not be the future of hybrid engines! If it is, I'm gonna have to replace my horn with a big whistle and add a cow catcher.
Look out, Fong! Robots are gunning for your job. Since it's built by Honda, it's probably far more efficient too...
Hehe...I saw this sign the other day while I was out and about. They still haven't gotten over that Mexican-American war, have they?
Damn...Robert Downey Jr. is my hero! Not just because of the whole drug addiction and prison time, either.
I haven't gone on about how much France sucks, lately, but this seems like a good story to illustrate it. Miss France is going to lose her title for licentious behavior, or posing in Playboy. I'm guessing it's not the nudity since you could see that at their beaches, it must be the fact it's an American company.
Jeez, a jurist pulled this a couple of weeks ago and got fined for being in contempt. I guess it's good to be the "Judge."
I guess not all newsreporters are complete lying bastards...they just get fired by their complete lying bastard bosses.
Hehe...this is probably the best history of Pac-Man I've ever seen. NSFW
Alright, the Yeti is back! Unfortunately, he's in a poor surfing game, but he's still walloping penguins.
This game is for those weird people who like European games...you know...basically Moody.
If you've ever wanted to know what those dorks who use leet speak are trying to say, here's a translation program.
Human sacrifices, dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!
Hmmm...I wonder if she's missing a finger? This could solve that weird Wendy's Chili story that's been going on around here.
I must have jinxed myself by saying how much I enjoy my side job as a notary, because last night's events were surreal and scary enough to be called kafkaesque(But only if you're an English major like Tristan or Carol.) The fact that I was driving around Compton at 9 p.m. was bad enough; I had to pull a Michael Bolton from Office Space and pump up some rap station so I wouldn't stick out like a white man in the hood. I was assisted by this rather eloquent homeless crackhead who knew his directions better than the useless speed freak at the Mobil station. Since everything I know comes from the movies, I'm assuming this guy was one of those magical black men that wanders the earth helping out white people, like in The Legend of Bagger Vance or Morpheus in the Matrix. I very glad I met one of them instead of one looking to shoot me and steal my shoes. Well, any adventure in Compton that I come out without having been mugged or stabbed is a successful one. Oh, the links. Enjoy...
"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."
--Dorothy Nevill
Just a follow up on that Natasha Lyonne is a crack head story...it seems her father isn't too happy about the charges.
The inspiration for one of the great Seinfeld episodes is back!
I found the Triumph the Dog skit at the Star Wars movie line. Not safe for work because you'll be laughing your ass off.
How the heck does a Swedish right's group get mad about an ice cream having a racist name towards blacks? Did the 1 black guy living there complain? I know how to solve the problem; change the name nogger to nogga. It seems to work for the rappers.
I'm not real fond of the whole pimp my ride thing, but even I have to admit; this is pretty cool.
Boy...becoming a police officer sure looks fun! I always wanted to taser a man just for the hell of it.
They say everyone is a whore, it's just a matter of the price. I'd accept far less than this chick, but, hell, good on ya!
This better not be the future of hybrid engines! If it is, I'm gonna have to replace my horn with a big whistle and add a cow catcher.
Look out, Fong! Robots are gunning for your job. Since it's built by Honda, it's probably far more efficient too...
Hehe...I saw this sign the other day while I was out and about. They still haven't gotten over that Mexican-American war, have they?
Damn...Robert Downey Jr. is my hero! Not just because of the whole drug addiction and prison time, either.
I haven't gone on about how much France sucks, lately, but this seems like a good story to illustrate it. Miss France is going to lose her title for licentious behavior, or posing in Playboy. I'm guessing it's not the nudity since you could see that at their beaches, it must be the fact it's an American company.
Jeez, a jurist pulled this a couple of weeks ago and got fined for being in contempt. I guess it's good to be the "Judge."
I guess not all newsreporters are complete lying bastards...they just get fired by their complete lying bastard bosses.
Hehe...this is probably the best history of Pac-Man I've ever seen. NSFW
Alright, the Yeti is back! Unfortunately, he's in a poor surfing game, but he's still walloping penguins.
This game is for those weird people who like European games...you know...basically Moody.
If you've ever wanted to know what those dorks who use leet speak are trying to say, here's a translation program.
Human sacrifices, dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!
Hmmm...I wonder if she's missing a finger? This could solve that weird Wendy's Chili story that's been going on around here.
Farkin' Links Vol. 61 4/26
Tuesday...the day after Monday. That's really all I can say about this day. It might actually be worse than Monday because it's not quite halfway into the work week like Hump Day nor is it close to the weekend like Thursday...it just sucks. Something that doesn't suck is my notary gig that I do after work; it's the perfect fit for my voyeuristic proclivities(Word of the day 4/5/02...only took me 3 years to apply it in a sentence). Just yesterday I signed loan docs with a lesbian couple(Which fit my stance on gay marriage to a tee; I support gay marriage only if both the chicks are hot) and a truck driver who competed in the Olympics in their powder shot shooting category. I didn't realize this was an Olympic event, but they let curling in. At least this one could theoretically kill someone. Even better, I did a signing last week with a family of carnies. I actually met them in their trailer right behind the carnival ring toss game. I considered pulling a Homer and asking if I could join the circus until I took a close look at the freak show of folks running it. They were the type of people who could seriously ask, "If I get a divorce from my wife, are we still brother and sister?" Hmmm...I got carried away with this into today. Anyways, enjoy.
"If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?"
--Art Hoppe
You know, he has a point.
I guess I can't fault a Canadian for not knowing the words to the Star Spangled Banner, but how did she fall down on the ice? Aren't those people ice skating at 2?
This pimpin' your ride thing has gone far enough. My pizza cutter doesn not need to be pimped.
This gum artist is still going strong. He has even more pictures of famous women...made out of used bubblegum. I'm not sure what's weirder, the fact that he uses used gum in his portraits, or that it's not his used gum.
Hmmm...somebody needs to have a talk with this guy about the difference between fantasy and reality. You are not a body builder!
This is interesting; a stripper was charged with an immoral act with a sex toy. I know there's that whole don't touch the stripper rule, who knew it applies to themselves as well?
This is one crazy freak accident. Jumping out of a plane isn't exactly safe, but you usually don't expect to lose body parts like an extra in Sin City.
These 100,000 dollar bottles of wine make me feel better about getting fleeced in Vietnam over a bottle of Johnny Walker blue.
These coloring books are fun and educational too!
Well, he's got a point. These kids suck at art.
This guy is collecting images of Jesus and putting a new one up for each day. Why? Because Jesus is cool, that's why.
That can't be right...this hot wheel car on ebay is selling for more than Jack's MR2. Yeah, it's in better shape and probably breaks down less, but still.
Damn...this table tennis game is just like playing a real one...I keep getting my ass handed to me.
Whoa...nobody needs to hear their mom tell them that. It's just sick and wrong.
Speaking of sick and wrong...this is wrong on so many levels. It's what you get when you combine the already insane people of Japan and MTV.
I need to get adopted by the Jenkins family. Other than their penchant for watching Attack of the Clones, this is the greatest hoem theater I have ever seen.
First the woman and the finger in her chili, now this? When did the world turn into Soylent Green? The most amazing part was that they were able to differentiate it from the usual crap they serve at Arby's.
These anti-religious people need to work on their substitute wording..."Under your belief system?"
I guess living with a multitude of cats isn't just for old female spinsters anymore.
Hehe...Pamela Anderson calls J. Lo and P. Diddy idiots, not for their silly nicknames, but because they wear fur. "They look really immature and unenlightened," she says, presumably in her tight leather pants.
I am not going to be wearing any slippers when I go to India after reading this article.
Tuesday...the day after Monday. That's really all I can say about this day. It might actually be worse than Monday because it's not quite halfway into the work week like Hump Day nor is it close to the weekend like Thursday...it just sucks. Something that doesn't suck is my notary gig that I do after work; it's the perfect fit for my voyeuristic proclivities(Word of the day 4/5/02...only took me 3 years to apply it in a sentence). Just yesterday I signed loan docs with a lesbian couple(Which fit my stance on gay marriage to a tee; I support gay marriage only if both the chicks are hot) and a truck driver who competed in the Olympics in their powder shot shooting category. I didn't realize this was an Olympic event, but they let curling in. At least this one could theoretically kill someone. Even better, I did a signing last week with a family of carnies. I actually met them in their trailer right behind the carnival ring toss game. I considered pulling a Homer and asking if I could join the circus until I took a close look at the freak show of folks running it. They were the type of people who could seriously ask, "If I get a divorce from my wife, are we still brother and sister?" Hmmm...I got carried away with this into today. Anyways, enjoy.
"If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?"
--Art Hoppe
You know, he has a point.
I guess I can't fault a Canadian for not knowing the words to the Star Spangled Banner, but how did she fall down on the ice? Aren't those people ice skating at 2?
This pimpin' your ride thing has gone far enough. My pizza cutter doesn not need to be pimped.
This gum artist is still going strong. He has even more pictures of famous women...made out of used bubblegum. I'm not sure what's weirder, the fact that he uses used gum in his portraits, or that it's not his used gum.
Hmmm...somebody needs to have a talk with this guy about the difference between fantasy and reality. You are not a body builder!
This is interesting; a stripper was charged with an immoral act with a sex toy. I know there's that whole don't touch the stripper rule, who knew it applies to themselves as well?
This is one crazy freak accident. Jumping out of a plane isn't exactly safe, but you usually don't expect to lose body parts like an extra in Sin City.
These 100,000 dollar bottles of wine make me feel better about getting fleeced in Vietnam over a bottle of Johnny Walker blue.
These coloring books are fun and educational too!
Well, he's got a point. These kids suck at art.
This guy is collecting images of Jesus and putting a new one up for each day. Why? Because Jesus is cool, that's why.
That can't be right...this hot wheel car on ebay is selling for more than Jack's MR2. Yeah, it's in better shape and probably breaks down less, but still.
Damn...this table tennis game is just like playing a real one...I keep getting my ass handed to me.
Whoa...nobody needs to hear their mom tell them that. It's just sick and wrong.
Speaking of sick and wrong...this is wrong on so many levels. It's what you get when you combine the already insane people of Japan and MTV.
I need to get adopted by the Jenkins family. Other than their penchant for watching Attack of the Clones, this is the greatest hoem theater I have ever seen.
First the woman and the finger in her chili, now this? When did the world turn into Soylent Green? The most amazing part was that they were able to differentiate it from the usual crap they serve at Arby's.
These anti-religious people need to work on their substitute wording..."Under your belief system?"
I guess living with a multitude of cats isn't just for old female spinsters anymore.
Hehe...Pamela Anderson calls J. Lo and P. Diddy idiots, not for their silly nicknames, but because they wear fur. "They look really immature and unenlightened," she says, presumably in her tight leather pants.
I am not going to be wearing any slippers when I go to India after reading this article.
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 60 4/25
I hope you all had a good weekend. I spent the time rehabbing my injured knee...which means I sat around in my underwear eating pizza and watching real basketball players in the playoffs. Speaking of basketball, I still can't get that great Dikembe Mutombo website out of my head; it has to be one of the greatest quotes of all time. I think it mainly works because he's a funny looking foreigner with a silly accent. I'm not sure it would work if I walked into a party and raised up my arms shouting,"Who wants to sex Castagno?!" I might get some laughs, but I doubt I'd get any takers, nor inspire a website. Anyways, here are you time wasting links. Enjoy...
"Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself."
--Peter da Silva
Wow...this person likes video games just a little too much, methinks.
Hehe...somebody has an inferiority complex. Of course, how much faith can you put into this study when it's obviously biased? They probably used porn stars as their test subjects.
Here's a lawyer that can screw you inside the court and out. Don Hollywood isn't quite up to standards of Randy West or John Homes, but it'll do.
O.K., this is even funnier than that Mutumbo page. Who could possibly give better advice than a foreign professional NBA player? Dear Dirk...
This guy is a magnificent bastard...pranking poor peons at Starbucks? I guess it beats working there.
I know Kim is really into survival guides, so here's a useful tip on how to make fire out of two items sure to be in your camping gear, a soda and some chocolate.
The Olympic committee foolishly allowed the Greeks to channel the movie Tron and make yet another ridiculously ugly mascot for the 2010 Winter Olympics.
Sho em yo motto! I think I'd change my name if it looked like this.
One of my favorite sites is back around again; Awful Plastic Surgery. I think you can figure out from those obscure clues what it's about.
I figured I'd add a shameless promotion of Tristan's employer, G4 with this clip of a completely ridiculous yet extremely cool Nintendo controller.
I dunno about these not being good starts to a eulogy; laughter cures all.
For those of you feeling depressed and as though life isn't worth living, make sure you heed this page. We wouldn't want you to be a total failure at suicide, too, loser.
Wow...the currents run deep in symboligy on this flash movie. Well, deep in something, anyways.
I know Abe has been missing the mildly offensive, stupid Jewish links, so here's one with 50 Cent, a robot and...well, I don't want to ruin it.
Here's a nice link for Newjen about fireworks...hopefully he can put this to good use and avoid setting anyone on fire this year.
Well, that black cat had it coming.
This is the beauty of live t.v., you never know what could happen.
This game's for Moody...because I know he likes flash games and I know he's had to play this game for real at one point or another. Incriminati!
I always sucked at Simon says, but at least this version has an easy mode. Crap...I still suck.
...and since no links of the day can be complete without some tacky Hollywood slut news, I give you Eva Longoria with an interesting message on her shirt.
I hope you all had a good weekend. I spent the time rehabbing my injured knee...which means I sat around in my underwear eating pizza and watching real basketball players in the playoffs. Speaking of basketball, I still can't get that great Dikembe Mutombo website out of my head; it has to be one of the greatest quotes of all time. I think it mainly works because he's a funny looking foreigner with a silly accent. I'm not sure it would work if I walked into a party and raised up my arms shouting,"Who wants to sex Castagno?!" I might get some laughs, but I doubt I'd get any takers, nor inspire a website. Anyways, here are you time wasting links. Enjoy...
"Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself."
--Peter da Silva
Wow...this person likes video games just a little too much, methinks.
Hehe...somebody has an inferiority complex. Of course, how much faith can you put into this study when it's obviously biased? They probably used porn stars as their test subjects.
Here's a lawyer that can screw you inside the court and out. Don Hollywood isn't quite up to standards of Randy West or John Homes, but it'll do.
O.K., this is even funnier than that Mutumbo page. Who could possibly give better advice than a foreign professional NBA player? Dear Dirk...
This guy is a magnificent bastard...pranking poor peons at Starbucks? I guess it beats working there.
I know Kim is really into survival guides, so here's a useful tip on how to make fire out of two items sure to be in your camping gear, a soda and some chocolate.
The Olympic committee foolishly allowed the Greeks to channel the movie Tron and make yet another ridiculously ugly mascot for the 2010 Winter Olympics.
Sho em yo motto! I think I'd change my name if it looked like this.
One of my favorite sites is back around again; Awful Plastic Surgery. I think you can figure out from those obscure clues what it's about.
I figured I'd add a shameless promotion of Tristan's employer, G4 with this clip of a completely ridiculous yet extremely cool Nintendo controller.
I dunno about these not being good starts to a eulogy; laughter cures all.
For those of you feeling depressed and as though life isn't worth living, make sure you heed this page. We wouldn't want you to be a total failure at suicide, too, loser.
Wow...the currents run deep in symboligy on this flash movie. Well, deep in something, anyways.
I know Abe has been missing the mildly offensive, stupid Jewish links, so here's one with 50 Cent, a robot and...well, I don't want to ruin it.
Here's a nice link for Newjen about fireworks...hopefully he can put this to good use and avoid setting anyone on fire this year.
Well, that black cat had it coming.
This is the beauty of live t.v., you never know what could happen.
This game's for Moody...because I know he likes flash games and I know he's had to play this game for real at one point or another. Incriminati!
I always sucked at Simon says, but at least this version has an easy mode. Crap...I still suck.
...and since no links of the day can be complete without some tacky Hollywood slut news, I give you Eva Longoria with an interesting message on her shirt.
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 59 4/22
Happy, happy Friday. Last night, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim managed to pull out a victory over the Cleveland Indians, a team that has owned them for far too long. I think it might be the wacky names on their team that gave them special powers, but Coco Crisp got himself tossed out and Milton Bradley is now going postal for the Dodgers. Poor Ohio, first LeBron being a loser, now this. Speaking of losers, the Dodgers also lost last night breaking their 8 game winning streak. I'm so happy baseball is back in season...
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But, naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
--Cliff Clavin (John Ratzenberger)
Holy Corey, Batman! Whoever thought Haim would make Feldman look sane and healthy? Still, he's not nearly as embarrassing as the host of this interview.
Jeez...I thought a bloated Corey Haim was scary until I saw this Craigslist ad. Not that there's anything wrong with it...no, actually there's all kinds of wrong going on in it. Not safe for work.
Who ever thought that Michael Vick would be as engrossing of a character off the field as on? I wanna be just like Ron Mexico!
This guy is pretty good; I like the giant computer painting.
Gee...my reaction times aren't too good. I guess I need to get back onto the smack. How did you fare?
I had no idea Rally races were as exciting and dangerous as running with the bulls in Pamplona.
This game is a little hyper for me...especially with my reaction times, but you might enjoy shooting down some birds.
This is a novel sale on the ebay link for the day. How much do you want to bet that the winner of this bid will be Goldenpalace.com?
Here's another silly shirt site...I dig this Iraq one...it's the Shiite.
Transformers really ARE more than meets the eye. Who knew they could dance like that? It took a lot of control to not make a doing the robot joke...I hope you appreciate that.
Hmmm...meet Henry Earl...a man, a legend, hopefully not a role model.
I bet this guy went to Cal Tech...hell, it might even be Ben with a "Ron Mexico" last name for all I know.
Alright! I'm a technical virgin! You can be too...all you have to do is take the pledge!
This is an interesting virtual tour...the bonus is you don't even need to bring a bunch of one dollar bills with you. Not safe for work.
This may be the funniest site I've ever seen...Who wants to sex Mutombo!
I haven't paid much attention to Conan's Walker, Texas Ranger clips, but this one got me. That's just sick and wrong.
Here is all the evidence you need to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that William Shatner is truly insane...and that everyone in the 70s must have been on drugs.
Well, this chick sure plays hard to get. I guess this is the Asian version of Axe deordorant.
Norweigans are upset with McDonald's new McAfrica sandwich since much of Africa is starving. I dunno...it looks pretty tasty. If people down there would stop murdering each other for fun, maybe McDonald's could build a couple of restaurants.
Science has finally solved one of the most troubling crises in our society; why does some popcorn not pop? This should make paying 12 dollars for popcorn at the movies somewhat of a better deal.
Happy, happy Friday. Last night, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim managed to pull out a victory over the Cleveland Indians, a team that has owned them for far too long. I think it might be the wacky names on their team that gave them special powers, but Coco Crisp got himself tossed out and Milton Bradley is now going postal for the Dodgers. Poor Ohio, first LeBron being a loser, now this. Speaking of losers, the Dodgers also lost last night breaking their 8 game winning streak. I'm so happy baseball is back in season...
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But, naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
--Cliff Clavin (John Ratzenberger)
Holy Corey, Batman! Whoever thought Haim would make Feldman look sane and healthy? Still, he's not nearly as embarrassing as the host of this interview.
Jeez...I thought a bloated Corey Haim was scary until I saw this Craigslist ad. Not that there's anything wrong with it...no, actually there's all kinds of wrong going on in it. Not safe for work.
Who ever thought that Michael Vick would be as engrossing of a character off the field as on? I wanna be just like Ron Mexico!
This guy is pretty good; I like the giant computer painting.
Gee...my reaction times aren't too good. I guess I need to get back onto the smack. How did you fare?
I had no idea Rally races were as exciting and dangerous as running with the bulls in Pamplona.
This game is a little hyper for me...especially with my reaction times, but you might enjoy shooting down some birds.
This is a novel sale on the ebay link for the day. How much do you want to bet that the winner of this bid will be Goldenpalace.com?
Here's another silly shirt site...I dig this Iraq one...it's the Shiite.
Transformers really ARE more than meets the eye. Who knew they could dance like that? It took a lot of control to not make a doing the robot joke...I hope you appreciate that.
Hmmm...meet Henry Earl...a man, a legend, hopefully not a role model.
I bet this guy went to Cal Tech...hell, it might even be Ben with a "Ron Mexico" last name for all I know.
Alright! I'm a technical virgin! You can be too...all you have to do is take the pledge!
This is an interesting virtual tour...the bonus is you don't even need to bring a bunch of one dollar bills with you. Not safe for work.
This may be the funniest site I've ever seen...Who wants to sex Mutombo!
I haven't paid much attention to Conan's Walker, Texas Ranger clips, but this one got me. That's just sick and wrong.
Here is all the evidence you need to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that William Shatner is truly insane...and that everyone in the 70s must have been on drugs.
Well, this chick sure plays hard to get. I guess this is the Asian version of Axe deordorant.
Norweigans are upset with McDonald's new McAfrica sandwich since much of Africa is starving. I dunno...it looks pretty tasty. If people down there would stop murdering each other for fun, maybe McDonald's could build a couple of restaurants.
Science has finally solved one of the most troubling crises in our society; why does some popcorn not pop? This should make paying 12 dollars for popcorn at the movies somewhat of a better deal.
Farkin' Links Vol. 58 4/21
Well, my knee seems to be getting better so I suppose I can put off my basketball retirement for now. Speaking of basketball, LeBron James has once again failed to reach the post season in the crappy East of the NBA. Hopefully, this means less Sprite and Bubblicious commercials.
"It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues."
--Abraham Lincoln
Wow...I would have loved to do this to my old car, that Suzuki Samurai piece of...
Well, I wonder what a ruling like this will do to office sex? I need to start taking more breaks like this guy.
Germany is on a tear...first they give us the new Pope, now more life-ike sex dolls? The Rhineland is on the rise again...
How would you like to sit through all six Star Wars movies in one try? I'd probably walk out after number 3...maybe I could get a half price ticket.
Hmmm...someone has even more time on their hands than I do. Abe, was this you taking these Vegas pictures?
Just for your safety, a page on How To Not Get Hit By Cars. Of course, a good tip to remember is to just not get in their way.
I'm not sure this headstone is as cool as the Russian mafia guys in their Adidas jogging suits, but I suppose it fits. I mean, Jews really, REALLY like to talk.
Alright, first the bunny hostages, now the thumb? These donation sites are really getting carried away.
This story should amuse Chih Hao, who took great pains to tell us about a Law and Order episode about a rapist dentist. I bet the guy in that episode is glad he's not living in Iran.
Damn...these guys must have really been inspired by that Michael Jordan/Larry Bird McDonald's commercial back in the day.
I know we have our problems with Europe and all, but do they really need to try and elect terrorists just to piss us off?
I thought they wanted the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth in a court of law? I guess they can't handle the truth...
These shirts aren't as cool as my WWJD for a Klondike Bar? shirt, but at least they seem to be pissing off people.
My hero of the day is this Vietnam Veteran. I wonder if this incident will make the cut in Hanoi Jane Fonda's follow up to her book,"My Life so Far"?
Cool...Real Genius has come to life. I wonder if Cal Tech had anything to do with it...maybe I should ask Ben.
Church of Body Modification? Ha! I wouldn't recognize a silly cult like that, nor would my bretheren at the Church of What's Happening Now.
Uh oh...according to this Chinese scientist, the arctic icecap will completely melt by 2080. That's not good...I mean, the Chinese never make mistakes, right?
In case you thought frivolous lawsuits occurred only in the U.S...I guess Russia is learning far too much about our system.
...and one last link for the bored. Having trouble with your putting game? Well, who isn't. Now you can practice and get paid at the same time.
Well, my knee seems to be getting better so I suppose I can put off my basketball retirement for now. Speaking of basketball, LeBron James has once again failed to reach the post season in the crappy East of the NBA. Hopefully, this means less Sprite and Bubblicious commercials.
"It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues."
--Abraham Lincoln
Wow...I would have loved to do this to my old car, that Suzuki Samurai piece of...
Well, I wonder what a ruling like this will do to office sex? I need to start taking more breaks like this guy.
Germany is on a tear...first they give us the new Pope, now more life-ike sex dolls? The Rhineland is on the rise again...
How would you like to sit through all six Star Wars movies in one try? I'd probably walk out after number 3...maybe I could get a half price ticket.
Hmmm...someone has even more time on their hands than I do. Abe, was this you taking these Vegas pictures?
Just for your safety, a page on How To Not Get Hit By Cars. Of course, a good tip to remember is to just not get in their way.
I'm not sure this headstone is as cool as the Russian mafia guys in their Adidas jogging suits, but I suppose it fits. I mean, Jews really, REALLY like to talk.
Alright, first the bunny hostages, now the thumb? These donation sites are really getting carried away.
This story should amuse Chih Hao, who took great pains to tell us about a Law and Order episode about a rapist dentist. I bet the guy in that episode is glad he's not living in Iran.
Damn...these guys must have really been inspired by that Michael Jordan/Larry Bird McDonald's commercial back in the day.
I know we have our problems with Europe and all, but do they really need to try and elect terrorists just to piss us off?
I thought they wanted the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth in a court of law? I guess they can't handle the truth...
These shirts aren't as cool as my WWJD for a Klondike Bar? shirt, but at least they seem to be pissing off people.
My hero of the day is this Vietnam Veteran. I wonder if this incident will make the cut in Hanoi Jane Fonda's follow up to her book,"My Life so Far"?
Cool...Real Genius has come to life. I wonder if Cal Tech had anything to do with it...maybe I should ask Ben.
Church of Body Modification? Ha! I wouldn't recognize a silly cult like that, nor would my bretheren at the Church of What's Happening Now.
Uh oh...according to this Chinese scientist, the arctic icecap will completely melt by 2080. That's not good...I mean, the Chinese never make mistakes, right?
In case you thought frivolous lawsuits occurred only in the U.S...I guess Russia is learning far too much about our system.
...and one last link for the bored. Having trouble with your putting game? Well, who isn't. Now you can practice and get paid at the same time.
Monday, April 18, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 57 4/20
I've learned an important lesson this past weekend; never play a double header of basketball games. Now my knee is swollen up like a basketball and I'm gimping around like Leapin' Larry. Have a happy hump day...if that's possible.
"I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. "
--Dave Barry
This is a game right up Paul Chua's alley...Kill a Kitten.
Hehe...this girl is SO fired.
Whoa...Barney shouldn't have eaten Mexican food before going to work.
Stop me if you've heard this one before...a Rabbi and a Nazi walk into an airport...
Al-Jazeera is starting a children's station...well, when you're trying to teach people how evil America is, it's best to start young.
That answers my question about whether reindeer could really fly or not.
Wow...this guy definitely makes the cut for my Hero of the day!
OH MY GOD!!!! Air pollution takes 7 months off your life?!? That means if I was meant to live 77 years...I'd be dead at 76! Oh the humanity!
I wouldn't be part of any club that would have me as a member...but, I doubt this site would take me anyways.
Coldplay's singer thought about blowing his own head off to make sure his new album was successful. That's some serious dedication to his art...or insanity...one or the other.
This headline is probably only possible in California...but here it is. Porn Star Politician Arrested In Strip Club Raid.
That crazy Arizona sheriff strikes again. You'd think being locked in jail would be more embarrassing than wearing pink underwear.
Well, Starbucks is an evil empire...I suppose this could all be part of their master plan, whatever that is.
Talk about a man making the world a better place; give that man a medal!
...and the girlification of men continues. At least hot wax hasn't entered into it.
Cheaters may be the greatest show ever made.
I know there's that old stereotype that women can't drive...well, this doesn't help.
These fortunes would make getting Chinese food much more interesting.
In case you thought Stoner Creek is a bad name for a street to live on, check this one out.
"Why in the world would you think your (cell) phone would work in your house?" he asked. "The customer has come to expect so much..." Wow...I don't even need to comment on that one.
I've learned an important lesson this past weekend; never play a double header of basketball games. Now my knee is swollen up like a basketball and I'm gimping around like Leapin' Larry. Have a happy hump day...if that's possible.
"I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me. "
--Dave Barry
This is a game right up Paul Chua's alley...Kill a Kitten.
Hehe...this girl is SO fired.
Whoa...Barney shouldn't have eaten Mexican food before going to work.
Stop me if you've heard this one before...a Rabbi and a Nazi walk into an airport...
Al-Jazeera is starting a children's station...well, when you're trying to teach people how evil America is, it's best to start young.
That answers my question about whether reindeer could really fly or not.
Wow...this guy definitely makes the cut for my Hero of the day!
OH MY GOD!!!! Air pollution takes 7 months off your life?!? That means if I was meant to live 77 years...I'd be dead at 76! Oh the humanity!
I wouldn't be part of any club that would have me as a member...but, I doubt this site would take me anyways.
Coldplay's singer thought about blowing his own head off to make sure his new album was successful. That's some serious dedication to his art...or insanity...one or the other.
This headline is probably only possible in California...but here it is. Porn Star Politician Arrested In Strip Club Raid.
That crazy Arizona sheriff strikes again. You'd think being locked in jail would be more embarrassing than wearing pink underwear.
Well, Starbucks is an evil empire...I suppose this could all be part of their master plan, whatever that is.
Talk about a man making the world a better place; give that man a medal!
...and the girlification of men continues. At least hot wax hasn't entered into it.
Cheaters may be the greatest show ever made.
I know there's that old stereotype that women can't drive...well, this doesn't help.
These fortunes would make getting Chinese food much more interesting.
In case you thought Stoner Creek is a bad name for a street to live on, check this one out.
"Why in the world would you think your (cell) phone would work in your house?" he asked. "The customer has come to expect so much..." Wow...I don't even need to comment on that one.
Friday, April 15, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 56 4/19
So, the new pope is Benedict the 16th...that's great. I mean, if I cared about that sort of thing. Still, this new pope is one of zee Germans. I'm not sure I trust those guys.
"I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world."
--Georges Duhamel
I didn't realize Method Man was part of the Illuminati.
So, who's digging the new Los Angeles Angels...of Anaheim? This guy makes a strong case for keeping the new name. I really don't care, just as long as they keep winning.
For those of you who thought that my friend Uriel was Superman's father, you're wrong. He's an Angel. Check it out...he even has a cool backstory.
In case you forgot; Old people will f*ck you up.
Just in case that last story didn't convince you, check this one out, with the assist from a garden gnome...and stay away from Page 3, they have naked women and stuff. The link is on the left bar, just so you don't accidentally click on it.
That's just sick and wrong. This is why I want no part of a marathon, regardless of what Fong says. I don't want to be wearing a diaper...I'll wait till I'm 67 like everyone else.
Just in case you thought you'd seen everything, this place is selling pregnancy piercings.
Jenna Jameson and Judith Reagan are having a "catfight" over monetary issues regarding a TV show. Although I included this story just so I could mention Jenna Jameson, I like the idea of the catfight; they should settle it in the octagon...or a mud pit.
Penis enlarging spam is branching out to a car near you.
Wow...this video ain't safe for work, but it's pretty damn funny. It's certainly a novel way to push a button.
This montage video of people getting smoked has some fan favorites, including Marlon's grape crushing anchorwoman.
It's about time they made a Too Fast Too Furious flash game. It would have saved Zhi at least 40,000 dollars in upgrades on his phantom car.
This basketball team obviously sold their souls to the devil...I wish we had some of that this past Sunday when we got our butts handed to us.
See...this is a true friend. When you're being a fool, he'll let you know.
What's wrong with these people! Don't they know marriage is between a man and a woman...except in Massachusetts?
Crossword puzzles are now guard training in California. Your tax dollars at work, folks!
Speaking of your tax dollars, it seems San Francisco fire and police departments have a drinking problem. Hell, if i had to live in SF, I'd have one too.
Hehe...teacher proposes a "Get Naked" day and is surprised when he gets in trouble. I'm assuming he was just following the trends; there's been a lot of female teachers having a get naked day with their students lately.
This story makes me wonder...is there an official streaking club?
...and a game for those who like to smash things.
So, the new pope is Benedict the 16th...that's great. I mean, if I cared about that sort of thing. Still, this new pope is one of zee Germans. I'm not sure I trust those guys.
"I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world."
--Georges Duhamel
I didn't realize Method Man was part of the Illuminati.
So, who's digging the new Los Angeles Angels...of Anaheim? This guy makes a strong case for keeping the new name. I really don't care, just as long as they keep winning.
For those of you who thought that my friend Uriel was Superman's father, you're wrong. He's an Angel. Check it out...he even has a cool backstory.
In case you forgot; Old people will f*ck you up.
Just in case that last story didn't convince you, check this one out, with the assist from a garden gnome...and stay away from Page 3, they have naked women and stuff. The link is on the left bar, just so you don't accidentally click on it.
That's just sick and wrong. This is why I want no part of a marathon, regardless of what Fong says. I don't want to be wearing a diaper...I'll wait till I'm 67 like everyone else.
Just in case you thought you'd seen everything, this place is selling pregnancy piercings.
Jenna Jameson and Judith Reagan are having a "catfight" over monetary issues regarding a TV show. Although I included this story just so I could mention Jenna Jameson, I like the idea of the catfight; they should settle it in the octagon...or a mud pit.
Penis enlarging spam is branching out to a car near you.
Wow...this video ain't safe for work, but it's pretty damn funny. It's certainly a novel way to push a button.
This montage video of people getting smoked has some fan favorites, including Marlon's grape crushing anchorwoman.
It's about time they made a Too Fast Too Furious flash game. It would have saved Zhi at least 40,000 dollars in upgrades on his phantom car.
This basketball team obviously sold their souls to the devil...I wish we had some of that this past Sunday when we got our butts handed to us.
See...this is a true friend. When you're being a fool, he'll let you know.
What's wrong with these people! Don't they know marriage is between a man and a woman...except in Massachusetts?
Crossword puzzles are now guard training in California. Your tax dollars at work, folks!
Speaking of your tax dollars, it seems San Francisco fire and police departments have a drinking problem. Hell, if i had to live in SF, I'd have one too.
Hehe...teacher proposes a "Get Naked" day and is surprised when he gets in trouble. I'm assuming he was just following the trends; there's been a lot of female teachers having a get naked day with their students lately.
This story makes me wonder...is there an official streaking club?
...and a game for those who like to smash things.
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 55 4/15
Happy Friday and all that.
There it was, hidden in alphabetical order.
--Rita Holt
Osama's master poisoner wanted to kill as many Britons as possible by poisoning their toothbrushes with ricin. Obviously, this guy's never seen British people's teeth...
Man...didn't these guys watch Jurassic Park? You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could and before you even knew what you had you patented it and packaged it and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox, and now you're selling it, you want to sell it!
Hehe...so John Paul II Avenue is home to sex shops in Poland? I hope they're not following the church's idea of sex...that would be illegal.
Damn...yet another teacher having extra-curricular studies with another student. This one has an interesting twist; she only gave him a 65 % in her class. I guess she doesn't play favorites.
Would you like to know what you'll look like in 40 years? I sure as hell don't, but check this link out anyways...and bring a pic.
This is an interesting multi-purpose purse...although the wearer will still hit like a girl.
Apparently this is a running feature, but it's the first I've seen of it. People really will do anything to get their 15 minutes of fame.
...I'm talking ANYTHING! Bunch of sickos, really.
Speaking of people who will do anything to be on tv, this foreign show is way better than Jerry Springer. I've never seen a guy get drop kicked on Springer before.
On the subject of foreign shows, I always thought the Teletubbies were the creepiest things on t.v., until now. I mean, these things can water ski, dammit! Why? How?
Hehe...this is the reason guys take aerobics classes.
My hero of the day...take that PETA!
I guess there really are monsters living in the closet.
Here's an interesting collection of absurd British patents...how absurd, you ask? Where would you rate a fart collecting device?
Oh sure...these golfers try and pretend they're tough in the cold, but it's only a 9 hole course! Do the full 18, you pussies!
Wow...I always thought Utah was only full of weirdo cultists and polygamists, but there be black gold in dem hills.
I KNEW being too clean could kill me. That's why I never wash my hands after I use the bathroom.
It looks like Fire Marshall Bill is back at work again.
I know what would solve the issue with this particular student; a severe beat down.
Hmmm...well, it looks like I've figured out where my next vacation will be. Sweden, here I come!
Happy Friday and all that.
There it was, hidden in alphabetical order.
--Rita Holt
Osama's master poisoner wanted to kill as many Britons as possible by poisoning their toothbrushes with ricin. Obviously, this guy's never seen British people's teeth...
Man...didn't these guys watch Jurassic Park? You stood on the shoulders of geniuses to accomplish something as fast as you could and before you even knew what you had you patented it and packaged it and slapped it on a plastic lunchbox, and now you're selling it, you want to sell it!
Hehe...so John Paul II Avenue is home to sex shops in Poland? I hope they're not following the church's idea of sex...that would be illegal.
Damn...yet another teacher having extra-curricular studies with another student. This one has an interesting twist; she only gave him a 65 % in her class. I guess she doesn't play favorites.
Would you like to know what you'll look like in 40 years? I sure as hell don't, but check this link out anyways...and bring a pic.
This is an interesting multi-purpose purse...although the wearer will still hit like a girl.
Apparently this is a running feature, but it's the first I've seen of it. People really will do anything to get their 15 minutes of fame.
...I'm talking ANYTHING! Bunch of sickos, really.
Speaking of people who will do anything to be on tv, this foreign show is way better than Jerry Springer. I've never seen a guy get drop kicked on Springer before.
On the subject of foreign shows, I always thought the Teletubbies were the creepiest things on t.v., until now. I mean, these things can water ski, dammit! Why? How?
Hehe...this is the reason guys take aerobics classes.
My hero of the day...take that PETA!
I guess there really are monsters living in the closet.
Here's an interesting collection of absurd British patents...how absurd, you ask? Where would you rate a fart collecting device?
Oh sure...these golfers try and pretend they're tough in the cold, but it's only a 9 hole course! Do the full 18, you pussies!
Wow...I always thought Utah was only full of weirdo cultists and polygamists, but there be black gold in dem hills.
I KNEW being too clean could kill me. That's why I never wash my hands after I use the bathroom.
It looks like Fire Marshall Bill is back at work again.
I know what would solve the issue with this particular student; a severe beat down.
Hmmm...well, it looks like I've figured out where my next vacation will be. Sweden, here I come!
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 54 4/14
No philosophical quandries today, I'm just not in the mood. I didn't even put as many links as I normally do. If you don't like it, well...
"Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. "
--Josh Billings
Damn...Mr. Miyagi was right...this really is hard!
Here's a group of Choose Your Own Adventure books that never quite made it. I like "In Soviet Russia, the Adventure Chooses You!"
This game is all for Moody...since he's the only one who seems to find soccer entertaining in any way. I gave it a try, and ended up with a tie. Gee, what a surprise.
Wow...they've managed to move off of ebay and set up their own marketable website. I didn't realize that there were this many guys in need of an imaginary girlfriend.
Hehe...I guess this is the result of No Ma'am. They make a strong case, though. I especially like the article about only marrying foreign women.
This may be the creepiest website yet...and that's saying a lot after some of the stuff I've seen.
This seems like good advice.
Wow...it's a visual representation of the lowest form of comedy. Uriel would absolutely LOVE this page. I do appreciate the old piece of string joke.
Well, that was helpful...now I can tell someone I love them in two different ways with sign language. I already knew how to tell them to commit a loving act with sign language, so this should come in handy.
Do you need to write a sappy love letter but are too lazy to do it yourself? With this site, you no longer have to! I'm anxiously awaiting the Fireprince's website for a random poetry generator.
Hehe...this happened to me once at the gym; although I wasn't lifting the equavlent of a small car. Ouch.
Ahhh...so this is our choice regarding women, puppy or dog?
No philosophical quandries today, I'm just not in the mood. I didn't even put as many links as I normally do. If you don't like it, well...
"Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute. "
--Josh Billings
Damn...Mr. Miyagi was right...this really is hard!
Here's a group of Choose Your Own Adventure books that never quite made it. I like "In Soviet Russia, the Adventure Chooses You!"
This game is all for Moody...since he's the only one who seems to find soccer entertaining in any way. I gave it a try, and ended up with a tie. Gee, what a surprise.
Wow...they've managed to move off of ebay and set up their own marketable website. I didn't realize that there were this many guys in need of an imaginary girlfriend.
Hehe...I guess this is the result of No Ma'am. They make a strong case, though. I especially like the article about only marrying foreign women.
This may be the creepiest website yet...and that's saying a lot after some of the stuff I've seen.
This seems like good advice.
Wow...it's a visual representation of the lowest form of comedy. Uriel would absolutely LOVE this page. I do appreciate the old piece of string joke.
Well, that was helpful...now I can tell someone I love them in two different ways with sign language. I already knew how to tell them to commit a loving act with sign language, so this should come in handy.
Do you need to write a sappy love letter but are too lazy to do it yourself? With this site, you no longer have to! I'm anxiously awaiting the Fireprince's website for a random poetry generator.
Hehe...this happened to me once at the gym; although I wasn't lifting the equavlent of a small car. Ouch.
Ahhh...so this is our choice regarding women, puppy or dog?
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 53 4/13
I had an interesting philosophical conversation with my dad the other night about the nature of man. He had an interesting take that I'd never heard before which is that man is basically selfish(a fact that is blatantly obvious to anyone with a pulse) but that mankind is basically good. He thinks that most people are sheep and that they are always willing to put someone else in charge as long as that person demonstrates their superior judgment. Even though everyone's definition of "fair" is different due to their ego-centric nature, people are able to think beyond themselves when the wise man or judge makes a ruling and see it as "just." Basically, the ability of man to think outside of himself and willing to make sacrifices for the good of the group is that good nature within him...at least according to my pops. Anyone have any thoughts on that?
"An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows. "
--Dwight D. Eisenhower
Because scientists have discovered everything important, they are now making computers that track your dog so you can check up on his social life and presumably find out why his breath always smells like the toilet.
Wow...Margaret Thatcher makes an appearance at a glitzy strip club! Stow the fantasies guys, she was just there for a fundraiser. Thankfully, she kept the clothes on her 78 year old body.
Oh no! Say it ain't so, Britney! First it's Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, now Spears is having marital issues? I was sure that one was gonna last.
Gee...chocolate makers have found that chocolate is good for women? That's not a biased study or anything.
I was thinking of getting a Prius until I found out they're even more expensive when used...well, that and they look like a Yugo and perform like one.
Why don't American politicians show this kind of passion?
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link of the day...crazy like a fox that is. I KNEW it was a conspiracy! There's just no way people voluntarily want to eat with chopsticks.
You know what Panda has for lunch? It ain't bamboo today...maybe he's on that Atkins diet.
Well...with gas prices rising, I'm sure glad the government is on the case and setting up ceiling fan energy standards. That should fix things in a jiffy.
The competition was fierce for the Village Idiot just outside of Indianapolis...
Now this is modern art I can totally support. Even the dispassionate Germans love it!
Hehe...unintentionally sexual comic book covers...who knew the Rifleman was carrying a bazooka in his pants?
Yikes...it's lucky she's a girl with a name like that.
I hope no animals were killed or injured in the pimping out of this motorcycle...it wouldn't be worth it.
I've heard some strange Harry Potter conspiracy stories, but this one has to take the cake.
This must be why Chih Hao has been pushing to travel to Eastern Europe. Hell, I'm sold.
This may be the most unlucky person alive. This crazy fire incident is something you might see in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
I hope this isn't a foreshadowing of democracy in action in the Middle East.
Politicians are angry about a bill accidentially past that makes English the official language of the state. Wait...what the hell was the state official language in West Virginia before this bill? Pig latin?
Wow...looks like Robocop really is just around the corner now...that or Ironman.
I had an interesting philosophical conversation with my dad the other night about the nature of man. He had an interesting take that I'd never heard before which is that man is basically selfish(a fact that is blatantly obvious to anyone with a pulse) but that mankind is basically good. He thinks that most people are sheep and that they are always willing to put someone else in charge as long as that person demonstrates their superior judgment. Even though everyone's definition of "fair" is different due to their ego-centric nature, people are able to think beyond themselves when the wise man or judge makes a ruling and see it as "just." Basically, the ability of man to think outside of himself and willing to make sacrifices for the good of the group is that good nature within him...at least according to my pops. Anyone have any thoughts on that?
"An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows. "
--Dwight D. Eisenhower
Because scientists have discovered everything important, they are now making computers that track your dog so you can check up on his social life and presumably find out why his breath always smells like the toilet.
Wow...Margaret Thatcher makes an appearance at a glitzy strip club! Stow the fantasies guys, she was just there for a fundraiser. Thankfully, she kept the clothes on her 78 year old body.
Oh no! Say it ain't so, Britney! First it's Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, now Spears is having marital issues? I was sure that one was gonna last.
Gee...chocolate makers have found that chocolate is good for women? That's not a biased study or anything.
I was thinking of getting a Prius until I found out they're even more expensive when used...well, that and they look like a Yugo and perform like one.
Why don't American politicians show this kind of passion?
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link of the day...crazy like a fox that is. I KNEW it was a conspiracy! There's just no way people voluntarily want to eat with chopsticks.
You know what Panda has for lunch? It ain't bamboo today...maybe he's on that Atkins diet.
Well...with gas prices rising, I'm sure glad the government is on the case and setting up ceiling fan energy standards. That should fix things in a jiffy.
The competition was fierce for the Village Idiot just outside of Indianapolis...
Now this is modern art I can totally support. Even the dispassionate Germans love it!
Hehe...unintentionally sexual comic book covers...who knew the Rifleman was carrying a bazooka in his pants?
Yikes...it's lucky she's a girl with a name like that.
I hope no animals were killed or injured in the pimping out of this motorcycle...it wouldn't be worth it.
I've heard some strange Harry Potter conspiracy stories, but this one has to take the cake.
This must be why Chih Hao has been pushing to travel to Eastern Europe. Hell, I'm sold.
This may be the most unlucky person alive. This crazy fire incident is something you might see in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
I hope this isn't a foreshadowing of democracy in action in the Middle East.
Politicians are angry about a bill accidentially past that makes English the official language of the state. Wait...what the hell was the state official language in West Virginia before this bill? Pig latin?
Wow...looks like Robocop really is just around the corner now...that or Ironman.
Monday, April 11, 2005
Return of the Links! Farkin' Links Vol. 52 4/12
Because nobody demanded it! After a full month off, I'm ready to waste more time with useless stories and video clips! I really needed that vacation...I mean, it had been 5 whole months since my last one. Anyways, I'm back!
"This isn't right. This isn't even wrong."
--Wolfgang Pauli
This makes me feel good about sending any kids to public school on a bus. Then again, I survived my bus driver back as a kid and I think she actually won several races while taking us to school.
Well...some ladies doing the lord's work right here. Good job! Definitely not safe for work.
Dammit! How come I didn't find out about this until they finally decided to ban it? I'm not sure if it's worth moving to Montana, but it sure would have been a plus.
What a bunch of losers...it's just so un-American to ask to lower your pay...
I really wish I had cool teachers like this when I was in school. What's going on? Are strippers just using teaching as a fallback job now or what? At least she's living up to her title as a "Special Education" teacher.
Wow...when you carry a straw in order to drink the spilled alcohol you attempted to steal...you might have a drinking problem.
Poor doggies...I blame Disney and their horrible 102 Dalmatian movies for this kind of crap. Hey, if we can blame Grand Theft Auto, why not Glenn Close?
Damn...you know that line "With friends like these, who needs enemies?" You would not want to go drinking with these guys.
First drinking, now this? Montana...how far you have fallen.
With the invention of the camera phone, you would think this happens a lot more often. Hell, I bet there is a website devoted to it already.
This isn't all that interesting of an assault and battery, but any story that starts off about a Miss Cleavage is gonna catch my attention. Of course, I had to track down a pic of this McCormack...you know, for perspective...and what a perspective it is.
I'm not really sure why this is the theme of the day, but...actually, I can think of several reasons. Regardless, I guess parties like that one in Old School really do happen.
Hehe...this must be a relative of that person who makes cat purses. Death threats are a little over the top though.
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link, here's an old broad who wants to Rock and Roll all night and party every day...unfortunately, her neighbor wasn't part of the KISS nation.
Well...I guess Walmart really DOES have everything. I wonder if you can get married there too? Maybe in the Home and Garden section.
Someone managed to make a game with a soccer ball entertaining...before you call me a bald faced liar, check it out.
...and I thought those Cialis commercials were over the top. Check out this Viagra commercial.
I'm pretty sure this is why Marlon had to start wearing a helmet when he goes snowboarding.
Man...I really miss hockey.
Hehe...that ex-football player who shot at Siegfreid and Roy's compound wanted to warn the world about them. I'm pretty sure we already knew they were gay. The sequined blouses and prancing about sort of tipped us off.
Because nobody demanded it! After a full month off, I'm ready to waste more time with useless stories and video clips! I really needed that vacation...I mean, it had been 5 whole months since my last one. Anyways, I'm back!
"This isn't right. This isn't even wrong."
--Wolfgang Pauli
This makes me feel good about sending any kids to public school on a bus. Then again, I survived my bus driver back as a kid and I think she actually won several races while taking us to school.
Well...some ladies doing the lord's work right here. Good job! Definitely not safe for work.
Dammit! How come I didn't find out about this until they finally decided to ban it? I'm not sure if it's worth moving to Montana, but it sure would have been a plus.
What a bunch of losers...it's just so un-American to ask to lower your pay...
I really wish I had cool teachers like this when I was in school. What's going on? Are strippers just using teaching as a fallback job now or what? At least she's living up to her title as a "Special Education" teacher.
Wow...when you carry a straw in order to drink the spilled alcohol you attempted to steal...you might have a drinking problem.
Poor doggies...I blame Disney and their horrible 102 Dalmatian movies for this kind of crap. Hey, if we can blame Grand Theft Auto, why not Glenn Close?
Damn...you know that line "With friends like these, who needs enemies?" You would not want to go drinking with these guys.
First drinking, now this? Montana...how far you have fallen.
With the invention of the camera phone, you would think this happens a lot more often. Hell, I bet there is a website devoted to it already.
This isn't all that interesting of an assault and battery, but any story that starts off about a Miss Cleavage is gonna catch my attention. Of course, I had to track down a pic of this McCormack...you know, for perspective...and what a perspective it is.
I'm not really sure why this is the theme of the day, but...actually, I can think of several reasons. Regardless, I guess parties like that one in Old School really do happen.
Hehe...this must be a relative of that person who makes cat purses. Death threats are a little over the top though.
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link, here's an old broad who wants to Rock and Roll all night and party every day...unfortunately, her neighbor wasn't part of the KISS nation.
Well...I guess Walmart really DOES have everything. I wonder if you can get married there too? Maybe in the Home and Garden section.
Someone managed to make a game with a soccer ball entertaining...before you call me a bald faced liar, check it out.
...and I thought those Cialis commercials were over the top. Check out this Viagra commercial.
I'm pretty sure this is why Marlon had to start wearing a helmet when he goes snowboarding.
Man...I really miss hockey.
Hehe...that ex-football player who shot at Siegfreid and Roy's compound wanted to warn the world about them. I'm pretty sure we already knew they were gay. The sequined blouses and prancing about sort of tipped us off.
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