Farkin' Links Vol. 120 7/28
I got around to watching Collateral the other night, thank you Netflix. The movie stars recent Oscar winner Jamie Foxx as Max, a Los Angeles taxi driver who talks big dreams but never acts on them. You know, like most of us. He picks up a very unkempt and graying Tom Cruise who introduces himself as Vincent. At first he just wants a ride to several locations that night, but things take a turn for the worse. It turns out Vincent is a hitman and he needs to take out various people in one night, presumably for a special bonus points or something, and he elects Max to be his driver for the night. It could have been worse; he could have tried to convert Max to Scientology. That's the basic story; it's very character driven as you would guess considering the unbelieveable and shallow plot line. I was actually impressed with Jamie Foxx as he's normally that annoying "funnyman" from his In Living Color days when I've seen him in movies, but it turns out he can portray a complex, layered character. Tom Cruise, in case you're wondering, was excellent as usual. I know he's completely insane in real life, but as an actor, nobody can carry a movie quite as well as he does. He also manages to make everyone he's with look good; ask Dustin Hoffman and Paul Newman. The movie actually flows rather well, which is a surprise considering Michael "I don't need no stinkin' editor" Mann was directing. He actually kept it below two hours for once. I certainly wouldn't want to watch it again, but I can't help but appreciate good performances. I'll give it a 6.5/10; the story alone brings this movie down several points.
"The one serious conviction that a man should have is that nothing is to be taken too seriously."
--Nicholas Butler
Small Claims court is about this ridiculous...at least from the cases I've read.
...and the French wonder why we don't take them seriously.
Speaking of people not to be taken seriously, Florida is at it again with it's "Ghetto Talent Show" and "Watermelon Eating Contest." Gee...that might offend people? But I thought all black from the ghetto liked watermelon?
Here's an update from an old link about an automatic guitar playing machine. It's now the Crazy J and seems to be getting bigger and bigger, sort of killing the point of having a small, portable instrument like a guitar in the first place.
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link, we have a chick who really needs a dentist...oh, and she's showing off their new laser ads on her hands. Seriously though, lady, you should get those checked out.
I think we've discovered the biggest whipped wussy on the face of the Earth...even bigger than Doug Christie.
Here's a cool example of fighting the man. Remember, old people will pho-k you up! Or is it feel you up?
Well, if you ever wanted to see the end of Mario 64...this guy recorded himself beating it, in 20 minutes! Even if you're not into videogames, this is some serious skill.
I'm not sure I could get away with this mouse at work. Still, it looks ergonomically designed.
Look out Japan! China continues it's crazy ways with tattoo pigs...you read that correctly. I don't even have a comment for that.
It's a bird...it's a plane...no, it's another extreme sports idiot looking to end up another death statistic!
They're selling magnetic paint now, so I suppose your kid can hang his crappy artwork all over his room instead of sullying your refrigerator. I think this sort of takes away the option of him having a computer in his room, so that's another bonus.
This must be that guy who was living in van, down by the river.
That Sharia law sure is a bummer, huh?
This stunt could have ended really badly, instead it's really cool...and I don't even like BMX bikes.
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 119 7/27
I had an interesting signing yesterday very close to my office downtown. I stepped up to the door, I was greeted by the borrower, which is normal enough, when I was suddenly pounced upon by Cujo. It actually turned out to be a very friendly black doberman who, mercifully, wasn't hungry at the time. After the man pulled his dog off of me and I stepped into the house, I was suddenly attacked by smaller but much more rabid beagle. I was luckily wearing demin pants because the little bastard tried to bite me. Right before I punted him through the window, his owner grabbed him by the collar and tossed him to the ground and yelled for him to calm down. I dunno about you, but I think he needs to call Uncle Matty the dog trainer; you can't have dogs attacking guests and I'm pretty sure PETA wouldn't like to see you doing judo moves on your pets. They'd prefer to murder them in their sleep, of course...damn PETA.
Anyways, the man was a very interesting character. He was wearing these tight brown pants that were pin striped with bright yellow, orange and green. I think I may have had a pair of those when I was 5 years old. With his shaggy, shoulder length hair, boyish face that needed a shave about 2 days ago, he looked like he belonged onstage with the Strokes. Think John Mayer in need of a haircut. All this combined with the cheesy tattoo of a star on his arm, I quickly assumed I was dealing with a musician of some sort. I couldn't wait to get out of there due to the fact that I'm fairly allergic to dog hair and, well, he's a musician. He wasn't particularly interested in vaccuuming and cleaning up after his dogs. By the time I was able to leave, I could barely see between my teared up eyes and my sneezing. I did manage to get out of the door before I was attacked by his two dogs yet again. The lesson seems to be, it would be better to do a signing in the hood than deal with a "rockstar." Unless he's surrounded by groupies, that is.
I have taken out all references to the identity of the band at the request of said band. Actually, they didn't request at all, they just apparently threatened my employer to have me take it down instead of actually requesting me to remove it from my site. Being a total of 30 people might actually read this blog, all of whom are my friends, it seems a little overly sensitive of them. Oh well...
"Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers."
--T. S. Eliot
I'd blame the tv show Jackass for foolishness like this, but you know people are dumb enough to this kind of thing on their own.
Speaking of jackasses...ads on this site aren't safe for work.
Hmmm...looks like Napoleon Dynamite made himself a jacket out of coke cans.
For our "Japanese people are crazy" link, we have some questionable ads for condoms. I know they're handing these out to kids in elementary school now, but do they really need to come with candy?
Speaking of condoms, it turns out we should have been using them for water balloons as kids. 5 gallons of water? Damn!
Poor Lindsay...her eating issues has gone so far that there's been a flash game made out of them. You know you've gone too far when someone will take the time to do that.
I'm not sure any of these pranks are good for your career, but they sure are pretty funny. Give them a try.
Here's a fun bunch of mini games involving a lego remote control car and a bunch of angry dogs.
Remote control cars not your thing? How about being a bald sniper instead?
Come on...going to a strip club isn't THAT embarrassing...now prison, that's much worse.
Isn't that cute...women are playing pretend by ordaining themselves as Catholic priests. If they wanted to be ex-communicated, they could have just asked.
I think the Russians have the right idea on spam blocking.
I guess that's yet another fun use that breast implants bring to the table.
Hmmm...he wrestled with Mike Hawk, did he? This announcer doesn't sound like Bart Simpson, but does a very good facsimile of his shtick.
Dude, I'm getting a part on Broadway!
I had an interesting signing yesterday very close to my office downtown. I stepped up to the door, I was greeted by the borrower, which is normal enough, when I was suddenly pounced upon by Cujo. It actually turned out to be a very friendly black doberman who, mercifully, wasn't hungry at the time. After the man pulled his dog off of me and I stepped into the house, I was suddenly attacked by smaller but much more rabid beagle. I was luckily wearing demin pants because the little bastard tried to bite me. Right before I punted him through the window, his owner grabbed him by the collar and tossed him to the ground and yelled for him to calm down. I dunno about you, but I think he needs to call Uncle Matty the dog trainer; you can't have dogs attacking guests and I'm pretty sure PETA wouldn't like to see you doing judo moves on your pets. They'd prefer to murder them in their sleep, of course...damn PETA.
Anyways, the man was a very interesting character. He was wearing these tight brown pants that were pin striped with bright yellow, orange and green. I think I may have had a pair of those when I was 5 years old. With his shaggy, shoulder length hair, boyish face that needed a shave about 2 days ago, he looked like he belonged onstage with the Strokes. Think John Mayer in need of a haircut. All this combined with the cheesy tattoo of a star on his arm, I quickly assumed I was dealing with a musician of some sort. I couldn't wait to get out of there due to the fact that I'm fairly allergic to dog hair and, well, he's a musician. He wasn't particularly interested in vaccuuming and cleaning up after his dogs. By the time I was able to leave, I could barely see between my teared up eyes and my sneezing. I did manage to get out of the door before I was attacked by his two dogs yet again. The lesson seems to be, it would be better to do a signing in the hood than deal with a "rockstar." Unless he's surrounded by groupies, that is.
I have taken out all references to the identity of the band at the request of said band. Actually, they didn't request at all, they just apparently threatened my employer to have me take it down instead of actually requesting me to remove it from my site. Being a total of 30 people might actually read this blog, all of whom are my friends, it seems a little overly sensitive of them. Oh well...
"Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers."
--T. S. Eliot
I'd blame the tv show Jackass for foolishness like this, but you know people are dumb enough to this kind of thing on their own.
Speaking of jackasses...ads on this site aren't safe for work.
Hmmm...looks like Napoleon Dynamite made himself a jacket out of coke cans.
For our "Japanese people are crazy" link, we have some questionable ads for condoms. I know they're handing these out to kids in elementary school now, but do they really need to come with candy?
Speaking of condoms, it turns out we should have been using them for water balloons as kids. 5 gallons of water? Damn!
Poor Lindsay...her eating issues has gone so far that there's been a flash game made out of them. You know you've gone too far when someone will take the time to do that.
I'm not sure any of these pranks are good for your career, but they sure are pretty funny. Give them a try.
Here's a fun bunch of mini games involving a lego remote control car and a bunch of angry dogs.
Remote control cars not your thing? How about being a bald sniper instead?
Come on...going to a strip club isn't THAT embarrassing...now prison, that's much worse.
Isn't that cute...women are playing pretend by ordaining themselves as Catholic priests. If they wanted to be ex-communicated, they could have just asked.
I think the Russians have the right idea on spam blocking.
I guess that's yet another fun use that breast implants bring to the table.
Hmmm...he wrestled with Mike Hawk, did he? This announcer doesn't sound like Bart Simpson, but does a very good facsimile of his shtick.
Dude, I'm getting a part on Broadway!
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 118 7/26
I watched the movie Identity last night, starring John Cusack and Ray Liotta. The story concerns a group of people trapped at a motel during a rain storm and one of them seems to be a murderer? Which one? Well, it wouldn't be much of a mystery if I told you, would it? I really can't tell you much about the movie without giving away the twists and secrets as it's that kind of movie. Unfortunately, it's a lot like Saw, where the twists and turns don't make a whole lot of sense after you're done watching it. Still, it's well made and rather suspenseful which helps you get engrossed instead of trying to pick out plot holes. I enjoyed it, but it's not a movie you'd want to watch again, after the big twists have been revealed. I'll give it a 7/10.
"With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another."
--Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
I dunno about you guys, but after seeing this site, a condom doesn't seem so bad.
You really can find anything on Google...you can even punk a traffic cop in court.
It appears a certain woman on that Big Brother reality show was a wanted woman. Not really smart appearing on a t.v. show, but at least she chose one nobody watches.
Is it just me, or is Martha Stewart hitting on Cookie Monster? She was in prison for a while, so maybe she just misses the carpet mu...uhhh...nevermind.
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link, we have a skyrocketing sex blow up doll industry to replace the live women in the red light district. This might explain the low birthrate in Japan; plastic women don't get pregnant.
Yeah, well, if someone wants to pull a William Tell style stunt on me, I'm just gonna say no. Samurai swords and vulnerable necks aren't a good combo.
While we're on the subject, why not build your own Samurai sword? I'm sure it'll be better than that crap they sell on QVC.
Ouch...what a horrible way to go. Still, that's what you get for squatting around naked in the wild.
Great, now the Democrats are trying to destroy the internet. Don't they know that Al Gore invented it? Why would they hurt their own? I could have sworn they were the party that was all in favor of pornography, too.
This is one hell of a cool prank and a great way to get back a spam mailing. Fight the man!
Ooohh, that's gotta hurt. I hope this diver didn't have HIV like Greg Louganis...I'm just sayin', that caused one hell of a firestorm.
While it's cool popping a water balloon in space, shouldn't these guys be conducting important tests? We didn't send them up there to be clowns...hmmm...sending clowns into space, I might be on to something...
This is a pretty fun game brought to you from the Wedding Crashers...quail huntin'! You gotta play it just to try and fire a shotgun drunk. Good times...
This is kind of cool; it's pictures of a family as they get older starting in 1977 to the present.
For those of you who haven't seen the Grand Theft Auto sex scene that's got everyone in a tizzy...here you go. It's almost as funny as the scene in Team America.
Cool...with this device, everyone can be a techno dj. I say you give it a try, Vicky.
This is a high-larious interpretation of Gwen Stefani's inane song Holla Back Girl, which also happens to be Dave Granados' theme song.
Well, if this guy can teach lighter tricks, I think I'm going to start teaching lion hunting.
Sure, I look bad, but you should see the other guy!
Talk about a Freudian slip; I wouldn't be able to concentrate on decifering this word puzzle, so I have no idea how these priests managed it.
I watched the movie Identity last night, starring John Cusack and Ray Liotta. The story concerns a group of people trapped at a motel during a rain storm and one of them seems to be a murderer? Which one? Well, it wouldn't be much of a mystery if I told you, would it? I really can't tell you much about the movie without giving away the twists and secrets as it's that kind of movie. Unfortunately, it's a lot like Saw, where the twists and turns don't make a whole lot of sense after you're done watching it. Still, it's well made and rather suspenseful which helps you get engrossed instead of trying to pick out plot holes. I enjoyed it, but it's not a movie you'd want to watch again, after the big twists have been revealed. I'll give it a 7/10.
"With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another."
--Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
I dunno about you guys, but after seeing this site, a condom doesn't seem so bad.
You really can find anything on Google...you can even punk a traffic cop in court.
It appears a certain woman on that Big Brother reality show was a wanted woman. Not really smart appearing on a t.v. show, but at least she chose one nobody watches.
Is it just me, or is Martha Stewart hitting on Cookie Monster? She was in prison for a while, so maybe she just misses the carpet mu...uhhh...nevermind.
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link, we have a skyrocketing sex blow up doll industry to replace the live women in the red light district. This might explain the low birthrate in Japan; plastic women don't get pregnant.
Yeah, well, if someone wants to pull a William Tell style stunt on me, I'm just gonna say no. Samurai swords and vulnerable necks aren't a good combo.
While we're on the subject, why not build your own Samurai sword? I'm sure it'll be better than that crap they sell on QVC.
Ouch...what a horrible way to go. Still, that's what you get for squatting around naked in the wild.
Great, now the Democrats are trying to destroy the internet. Don't they know that Al Gore invented it? Why would they hurt their own? I could have sworn they were the party that was all in favor of pornography, too.
This is one hell of a cool prank and a great way to get back a spam mailing. Fight the man!
Ooohh, that's gotta hurt. I hope this diver didn't have HIV like Greg Louganis...I'm just sayin', that caused one hell of a firestorm.
While it's cool popping a water balloon in space, shouldn't these guys be conducting important tests? We didn't send them up there to be clowns...hmmm...sending clowns into space, I might be on to something...
This is a pretty fun game brought to you from the Wedding Crashers...quail huntin'! You gotta play it just to try and fire a shotgun drunk. Good times...
This is kind of cool; it's pictures of a family as they get older starting in 1977 to the present.
For those of you who haven't seen the Grand Theft Auto sex scene that's got everyone in a tizzy...here you go. It's almost as funny as the scene in Team America.
Cool...with this device, everyone can be a techno dj. I say you give it a try, Vicky.
This is a high-larious interpretation of Gwen Stefani's inane song Holla Back Girl, which also happens to be Dave Granados' theme song.
Well, if this guy can teach lighter tricks, I think I'm going to start teaching lion hunting.
Sure, I look bad, but you should see the other guy!
Talk about a Freudian slip; I wouldn't be able to concentrate on decifering this word puzzle, so I have no idea how these priests managed it.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 117 7/25
The march for the perfect season in the local basketball adult league continues for our team. We had our first playoff game against the main competition in our 4 team bracket and we handled them fairly easily. Even better, the other team that might give us a scare managed to lose to the worst team in the league. They picked a good time to get their first win; with that upset, we only need to win one of two to make the finals. Of course, that's loser talk; I expect to win the next two games. I had an extremely efficient game this particular time, scoring 6 points on 3/3 shooting. It's usually pretty easy to hit a shot when you're two feet from the basket, but an opponent hanging on your shoulder hitting you in the face ups the difficulty a bit. Still, it's the playoffs; we have to go big or go home.
Oh, I also attended a live concert for the first time in I don't remember when. Beck was very entertaining; this is the second time I've watched one of his concerts and I have to say I've yet to be disappointed, what with his weird combination of Southwest twang and 70's funk. He played his various hits as well as some new songs from his latest album, while adding some interesting twists to the show. He seems to have recruited one of his percussionists to basically just dance around during the show, much like the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, and his geeky dress shirt, tie and glasses look seemed to fit his white guy dance moves. In the middle of the concert, his band decided to sit down at a folding table and have dinner while he did several solo numbers with just his guitar. When they finished their meal, they assisted with a Stomp like accompaniment that involved their utensils banging on their plates and glasses. The show was even more entertaining with Chih Hao there being very expressive, he being assisted by 5 very large beers. I'd say a good time was had by all, but a certain two that came to the concert with us decided to bail out early, because someone was sick, or they left the iron on at home, or some other ridiculous excuse. Either way, Beck rocks.
"Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important."
--Eugene McCarthy
Yet another quality job of personnel by the Lakers front office. Maybe next time they can pick a guy who isn't in danger of dropping dead on the court...I suppose they can take comfort that they picked a guy with heart.
This a nice release...I know I've always wanted to gun down those evil little Care Bears. Care Bear Stare me, will ya!
I know I've wanted to do this to a couple of bus drivers in my years, but, damn! Still, this bus driver is a big pussy.
Building this origami house must have taken forever. It's pretty cool, but somewhat dull. It needs to be fixed up by one of those home improvement people from Home and Garden TV.
Man, Florida is getting as crazy as Japan. Besides the weirdness of a naked guy breaking into people's house to tickle their feet...how the hell does he get away? I mean, naked people sort of stand out.
Bubbles...tiny bubbles...
If you drink an entire bottle of Jaggermeister in one sitting, you might have a drinking problem. At least he never drinks alone.
CATFIGHT! This was a better fight than that last Bernard Hopkins one.
I thought fat people were jolly? Anyways, this is a good nominee for Teacher of the Year.
The "Japanese people are crazy," alright, crazy fast! This boxer didn't mess around; I wonder how bad a chump his opponent was?
Speaking of crazy Japanese people, it seems they are starting to forget those expensive shrines and bringing the dead home with them. No wonder there's all these ghost movies coming out from there.
I thought I may have linked this creepy Oompa Loompa before, but maybe I hadn't. Either way, it's worth checking this guy out just for the freak factor. We can look down on him because he's a child molester, not because he looks like one of those stress balls with the red eyes that pop out. (Hat tip: Abe)
The craze of not growing up moves on from dodgeball to kickball now. Well, I wouldn't want to take on Napoleon Dynamite; he's a tough competitor.
Wow, I wonder what drugs this old man was on.
Hehe...speaking of old people...they're pho-k you up. Especially if you're a cop.
This site must be looking to get shut down. They post reviews of albums...and the actual album to download. They better not tick off Metallica.
Only in San Francisco could there be a Pee Wee Herman day of celebration...bunch of freaks. Well, that and the fact that they have more XXX theaters per square capita than anyone in the world.
I know it's hard to think straight when you've been huffing spray paint, but if you're gonna get a refill, you should check the mirror before you go out.
Well, this dog learned a valuable lesson...porcupines are not your friends.
Hey Vicky...I found a new clubbing partner for you. He's a sharp dresser and he really likes techno.
The march for the perfect season in the local basketball adult league continues for our team. We had our first playoff game against the main competition in our 4 team bracket and we handled them fairly easily. Even better, the other team that might give us a scare managed to lose to the worst team in the league. They picked a good time to get their first win; with that upset, we only need to win one of two to make the finals. Of course, that's loser talk; I expect to win the next two games. I had an extremely efficient game this particular time, scoring 6 points on 3/3 shooting. It's usually pretty easy to hit a shot when you're two feet from the basket, but an opponent hanging on your shoulder hitting you in the face ups the difficulty a bit. Still, it's the playoffs; we have to go big or go home.
Oh, I also attended a live concert for the first time in I don't remember when. Beck was very entertaining; this is the second time I've watched one of his concerts and I have to say I've yet to be disappointed, what with his weird combination of Southwest twang and 70's funk. He played his various hits as well as some new songs from his latest album, while adding some interesting twists to the show. He seems to have recruited one of his percussionists to basically just dance around during the show, much like the Mighty Mighty Bosstones, and his geeky dress shirt, tie and glasses look seemed to fit his white guy dance moves. In the middle of the concert, his band decided to sit down at a folding table and have dinner while he did several solo numbers with just his guitar. When they finished their meal, they assisted with a Stomp like accompaniment that involved their utensils banging on their plates and glasses. The show was even more entertaining with Chih Hao there being very expressive, he being assisted by 5 very large beers. I'd say a good time was had by all, but a certain two that came to the concert with us decided to bail out early, because someone was sick, or they left the iron on at home, or some other ridiculous excuse. Either way, Beck rocks.
"Being in politics is like being a football coach. You have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important."
--Eugene McCarthy
Yet another quality job of personnel by the Lakers front office. Maybe next time they can pick a guy who isn't in danger of dropping dead on the court...I suppose they can take comfort that they picked a guy with heart.
This a nice release...I know I've always wanted to gun down those evil little Care Bears. Care Bear Stare me, will ya!
I know I've wanted to do this to a couple of bus drivers in my years, but, damn! Still, this bus driver is a big pussy.
Building this origami house must have taken forever. It's pretty cool, but somewhat dull. It needs to be fixed up by one of those home improvement people from Home and Garden TV.
Man, Florida is getting as crazy as Japan. Besides the weirdness of a naked guy breaking into people's house to tickle their feet...how the hell does he get away? I mean, naked people sort of stand out.
Bubbles...tiny bubbles...
If you drink an entire bottle of Jaggermeister in one sitting, you might have a drinking problem. At least he never drinks alone.
CATFIGHT! This was a better fight than that last Bernard Hopkins one.
I thought fat people were jolly? Anyways, this is a good nominee for Teacher of the Year.
The "Japanese people are crazy," alright, crazy fast! This boxer didn't mess around; I wonder how bad a chump his opponent was?
Speaking of crazy Japanese people, it seems they are starting to forget those expensive shrines and bringing the dead home with them. No wonder there's all these ghost movies coming out from there.
I thought I may have linked this creepy Oompa Loompa before, but maybe I hadn't. Either way, it's worth checking this guy out just for the freak factor. We can look down on him because he's a child molester, not because he looks like one of those stress balls with the red eyes that pop out. (Hat tip: Abe)
The craze of not growing up moves on from dodgeball to kickball now. Well, I wouldn't want to take on Napoleon Dynamite; he's a tough competitor.
Wow, I wonder what drugs this old man was on.
Hehe...speaking of old people...they're pho-k you up. Especially if you're a cop.
This site must be looking to get shut down. They post reviews of albums...and the actual album to download. They better not tick off Metallica.
Only in San Francisco could there be a Pee Wee Herman day of celebration...bunch of freaks. Well, that and the fact that they have more XXX theaters per square capita than anyone in the world.
I know it's hard to think straight when you've been huffing spray paint, but if you're gonna get a refill, you should check the mirror before you go out.
Well, this dog learned a valuable lesson...porcupines are not your friends.
Hey Vicky...I found a new clubbing partner for you. He's a sharp dresser and he really likes techno.
Friday, July 22, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 116 7/22
I had a funny signing experience the other day that I figured I'd share with you. I work with this Hispanic guy named Frank, who happens to be totally obsessed with Morrisey. He's straight...or so he says, but this is something we tease him about all the time. He'll always insist that it's not a gay thing even though he can't explain why there are so many gay men at this guy's conventions and concerts. Either way, I went out to do a signing with these two men yesterday. It was in Hollywood, so, surprise surprise, they turned out to be gay. Not prancing around in spandex, but very out. While I was in their office taking care of the documents, I couldn't help but notice a big poster of Morrisey on their wall. I managed to not laugh out and save it for when Frank walks into the office today.
"Gratitude is merely the secret hope of further favors."
--Francois de La Rochefoucauld
So, it looks like the clowns have organized and put together these 8 commandments to lend credibility to themselves. I seem to have missed the commandment about murdering children and drinking their blood...
Hmmm...like I said before, old people...they'll pho-k you up, even online. Frag this, foo!
I'm usually not a fan of clothing at fashion shows...but I have to say, I really like this dress. NSFW
It seems Britney and The Fedster are spoofing their own image...but, being they really are white trash, does that really qualify as a spoof? Oh, the pics...here they are. Just ads on this site are NSFW
That's something you don't see everyday. There must be some poor homeless man wondering what he did with his shopping cart on that last alcohol/drug bender.
Check out these strangely deformed animals...unless you like animals, then this might not be the site for you. Especially the spider kitten.
It appears Korea hasn't gotten over that whole raping and pillaging by the Japanese during WWII. Still, I don't remember being this angry as a kid.
Wow...that may be one of the most disturbing commercials I've ever seen...of course it's foreign. What you see is what you get.
Spanish nurses are upset that a cosmetic firm marched out 50 miniskirted models dressed as nurses at their market share launch. I'm upset too...there's no damn pictures in this link.
For those of you with a yard or the foolish notion of hanging around out in the sun this summer, here's a home made outdoor mister.
Damn, and I thought Hawaii was paradise. Well, I guess even muggers and criminals have to go on vacation every once in a while.
In the ongoing struggle of craziness between Japan and China, the communists strike another blow with this story about a man wanting to donate his penis to a female going through a sex change. Brings to mind that Detachable Penis song, doesn't it?
Damn...that's gotta be the second biggest gummy bear I've ever seen. Who knew college could actually help you contribute to society?
Wow...this guy is pretty damn fast. Although, I'm not sure that's such a good thing.
I wonder what was on the mind of the guy who designed this logo? Well, I suppose it's pretty obvious what was on his mind.
Blame Canada, alright, for being a bunch of politically correct killjoys. How the hell is this even a law?
Gee, a game where you get to be a waitress. How fun...what's next? A game where you play a janitor?
I had a funny signing experience the other day that I figured I'd share with you. I work with this Hispanic guy named Frank, who happens to be totally obsessed with Morrisey. He's straight...or so he says, but this is something we tease him about all the time. He'll always insist that it's not a gay thing even though he can't explain why there are so many gay men at this guy's conventions and concerts. Either way, I went out to do a signing with these two men yesterday. It was in Hollywood, so, surprise surprise, they turned out to be gay. Not prancing around in spandex, but very out. While I was in their office taking care of the documents, I couldn't help but notice a big poster of Morrisey on their wall. I managed to not laugh out and save it for when Frank walks into the office today.
"Gratitude is merely the secret hope of further favors."
--Francois de La Rochefoucauld
So, it looks like the clowns have organized and put together these 8 commandments to lend credibility to themselves. I seem to have missed the commandment about murdering children and drinking their blood...
Hmmm...like I said before, old people...they'll pho-k you up, even online. Frag this, foo!
I'm usually not a fan of clothing at fashion shows...but I have to say, I really like this dress. NSFW
It seems Britney and The Fedster are spoofing their own image...but, being they really are white trash, does that really qualify as a spoof? Oh, the pics...here they are. Just ads on this site are NSFW
That's something you don't see everyday. There must be some poor homeless man wondering what he did with his shopping cart on that last alcohol/drug bender.
Check out these strangely deformed animals...unless you like animals, then this might not be the site for you. Especially the spider kitten.
It appears Korea hasn't gotten over that whole raping and pillaging by the Japanese during WWII. Still, I don't remember being this angry as a kid.
Wow...that may be one of the most disturbing commercials I've ever seen...of course it's foreign. What you see is what you get.
Spanish nurses are upset that a cosmetic firm marched out 50 miniskirted models dressed as nurses at their market share launch. I'm upset too...there's no damn pictures in this link.
For those of you with a yard or the foolish notion of hanging around out in the sun this summer, here's a home made outdoor mister.
Damn, and I thought Hawaii was paradise. Well, I guess even muggers and criminals have to go on vacation every once in a while.
In the ongoing struggle of craziness between Japan and China, the communists strike another blow with this story about a man wanting to donate his penis to a female going through a sex change. Brings to mind that Detachable Penis song, doesn't it?
Damn...that's gotta be the second biggest gummy bear I've ever seen. Who knew college could actually help you contribute to society?
Wow...this guy is pretty damn fast. Although, I'm not sure that's such a good thing.
I wonder what was on the mind of the guy who designed this logo? Well, I suppose it's pretty obvious what was on his mind.
Blame Canada, alright, for being a bunch of politically correct killjoys. How the hell is this even a law?
Gee, a game where you get to be a waitress. How fun...what's next? A game where you play a janitor?
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 115 7/21
Damn that Harry Potter...I was about to go to sleep last night at a normal time when I foolishly decided to start reading that new book. Next thing I know it's 2 in the morning, which is a lesson, I suppose. Never read a book; just stick to magazines with great articles, like Playboy. Thank goodness this week is almost over.
"I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize."
--George Bernard Shaw
I guess monkeys aren't as cute and cuddly as...oh who am I kidding? This is what I expect from wild animals, but it doesn't make them any less funny.
Well, there you go. Not only are cameras set up to ticket speeders Big Brother like, but they also kill.
Wow, check this headline out,"Ukrainian vampire drugged children and drank their blood." It's even weirder than it sounds.
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link, we have slot machine games added to ATM machines. They usually are on the cutting edge, so how long before Vegas adds this feature?
Feeling artistic today? Go ahead and draw a picture. Maybe of a vampire?
This would have made my silly ebay auction links, if I had caught it before it was taken down. She was probably tipped off after Michael Jackson made a bid.
Sure, these type of antics occur in every live action Disney movie, getting knocked down isn't that much fun...these kids must be sniffing glue.
Damn...this Asian dude can rock!
Hanging out with Simba is generally a bad idea. Lions aren't really like the pranksters they were protrayed as on South Park.
There are enough embarrassing pictures on the internet...why would you volunteer to post more?
What's up with all these stories of women stripping their clothes off in public? Not that there's anything wrong with that...
I'm just shocked and offended someone would keep a collection of photos showing compromising pictures of starlet's crotches like this...check it out and let me know if you're offended as well. Especially the 11th down on the right. NSFW
Wow...talk about having a bad morning. I guess cooking and bj's just don't mix.
I guess this is why trucks don't do drive-thru.
Buffy wants to show off her funbags, huh? I'm totally in favor of movie nudity, but really, what's there to look at?
Those wacky Aussies...instead of re-enacting Sin City, they should have just gone to a pub and gotten a beer. Then again, that's probably what led to the nose biting thing.
Damn that Harry Potter...I was about to go to sleep last night at a normal time when I foolishly decided to start reading that new book. Next thing I know it's 2 in the morning, which is a lesson, I suppose. Never read a book; just stick to magazines with great articles, like Playboy. Thank goodness this week is almost over.
"I can forgive Alfred Nobel for having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize."
--George Bernard Shaw
I guess monkeys aren't as cute and cuddly as...oh who am I kidding? This is what I expect from wild animals, but it doesn't make them any less funny.
Well, there you go. Not only are cameras set up to ticket speeders Big Brother like, but they also kill.
Wow, check this headline out,"Ukrainian vampire drugged children and drank their blood." It's even weirder than it sounds.
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link, we have slot machine games added to ATM machines. They usually are on the cutting edge, so how long before Vegas adds this feature?
Feeling artistic today? Go ahead and draw a picture. Maybe of a vampire?
This would have made my silly ebay auction links, if I had caught it before it was taken down. She was probably tipped off after Michael Jackson made a bid.
Sure, these type of antics occur in every live action Disney movie, getting knocked down isn't that much fun...these kids must be sniffing glue.
Damn...this Asian dude can rock!
Hanging out with Simba is generally a bad idea. Lions aren't really like the pranksters they were protrayed as on South Park.
There are enough embarrassing pictures on the internet...why would you volunteer to post more?
What's up with all these stories of women stripping their clothes off in public? Not that there's anything wrong with that...
I'm just shocked and offended someone would keep a collection of photos showing compromising pictures of starlet's crotches like this...check it out and let me know if you're offended as well. Especially the 11th down on the right. NSFW
Wow...talk about having a bad morning. I guess cooking and bj's just don't mix.
I guess this is why trucks don't do drive-thru.
Buffy wants to show off her funbags, huh? I'm totally in favor of movie nudity, but really, what's there to look at?
Those wacky Aussies...instead of re-enacting Sin City, they should have just gone to a pub and gotten a beer. Then again, that's probably what led to the nose biting thing.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 114 7/20
I still got nothing. Enjoy the links.
"Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers."
--Alfred Lord Tennyson
Personally, I think most rapper names are as ridiculous as their terrible spelling, but this guy has a list of what he thinks are the worst.
Damn...that's just sick and wrong. Of course it's a foreign commercial, this one involving some robbers and a sperm bank.
Looks like Al Bundy is on vacation in Cancun. Look at the guy on the left side.
How many times do I have to say this? Fire and alcohol just don't mix, unless you're making moltov cocktails.
This isn't safe for work, but I know you've all wanted to see that sexy bastard Mr. Burns from the Simpsons naked. Feast your eyes on this!
Oh...my...god...this dog is going to give me nightmares. This is even more disturbing than Mr. Burns.
A flash movie about a kung fu monkey in his underwear fighting an army of cows with music by Kool and the Gang? It's a dream come true! The only thing it's missing is penguins.
I'm pretty sure telling a cop, "You know what? We are drunk!" is a really bad idea. Still, I fully support the stripping off all your clothes if you're a hot chick. You'll still get arrested, but at least you'll create a nice video for your grandchildren.
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link, we have more robot madness. Who knew Skynet was going to be born in Japan? Of course, this is from Al Jazeera, so who knows if it's true or not.
Who knew math was so cool?
Hmmm...a follow up on that weirdo that was arrested inside a woman's outhouse. He know says he was looking for a ring. Word of advice, if you lose something into an outhouse...it's gone, man. Let it go.
Here's the self proclaimed ugliest man in the world. He should consider himself lucky; does he really want to pay alimony?
That's quite a trick this octopus can do, but doesn't have him open a jar sort of ruin the purpose of a jar?
Crazy limeys, how do you forget what kind of bus you were driving? Still, that must have been really cool to watch.
Hehe, flaming squirrels, huh? Sounds like an episode of Happy Tree Friends.
This is one hell of a billboard filled with real live people. Still, no drinking or risque behavior? What are they? Mormons?
I've always wanted to break into a race track and drive around. I guess I just need to drink more.
Damn, stealing money from a blind man. This kid needs to be sent to Singapore for a caning.
I guess that's one way to become a eunich. Even Newjen wouldn't do something this stupid with fireworks...of course, his partner in crime Thomas, well, you never know.
For those of the mathematic bent...which would probably just be Ben, still, it's a pretty fun game, planarity.
I still got nothing. Enjoy the links.
"Knowledge comes, but wisdom lingers."
--Alfred Lord Tennyson
Personally, I think most rapper names are as ridiculous as their terrible spelling, but this guy has a list of what he thinks are the worst.
Damn...that's just sick and wrong. Of course it's a foreign commercial, this one involving some robbers and a sperm bank.
Looks like Al Bundy is on vacation in Cancun. Look at the guy on the left side.
How many times do I have to say this? Fire and alcohol just don't mix, unless you're making moltov cocktails.
This isn't safe for work, but I know you've all wanted to see that sexy bastard Mr. Burns from the Simpsons naked. Feast your eyes on this!
Oh...my...god...this dog is going to give me nightmares. This is even more disturbing than Mr. Burns.
A flash movie about a kung fu monkey in his underwear fighting an army of cows with music by Kool and the Gang? It's a dream come true! The only thing it's missing is penguins.
I'm pretty sure telling a cop, "You know what? We are drunk!" is a really bad idea. Still, I fully support the stripping off all your clothes if you're a hot chick. You'll still get arrested, but at least you'll create a nice video for your grandchildren.
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link, we have more robot madness. Who knew Skynet was going to be born in Japan? Of course, this is from Al Jazeera, so who knows if it's true or not.
Who knew math was so cool?
Hmmm...a follow up on that weirdo that was arrested inside a woman's outhouse. He know says he was looking for a ring. Word of advice, if you lose something into an outhouse...it's gone, man. Let it go.
Here's the self proclaimed ugliest man in the world. He should consider himself lucky; does he really want to pay alimony?
That's quite a trick this octopus can do, but doesn't have him open a jar sort of ruin the purpose of a jar?
Crazy limeys, how do you forget what kind of bus you were driving? Still, that must have been really cool to watch.
Hehe, flaming squirrels, huh? Sounds like an episode of Happy Tree Friends.
This is one hell of a billboard filled with real live people. Still, no drinking or risque behavior? What are they? Mormons?
I've always wanted to break into a race track and drive around. I guess I just need to drink more.
Damn, stealing money from a blind man. This kid needs to be sent to Singapore for a caning.
I guess that's one way to become a eunich. Even Newjen wouldn't do something this stupid with fireworks...of course, his partner in crime Thomas, well, you never know.
For those of the mathematic bent...which would probably just be Ben, still, it's a pretty fun game, planarity.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 113 7/19
"The Constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a damn fool of himself."
--John Ciardi
It's been a while, but this is a great video. Old people...they'll pho-k you up.
Here's a bunch of pictures of stars then and now...some fare better than others. Terri Hatcher certainly looks better now.
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link of the day, we have a cult member getting his just deserts. Seriously, only in Japan would we have a cult dedicated to feet...well, maybe possible Amsterdam. I saw some crazy stuff there.
Some of these are pretty lame, but there are several good movie cliches in this top 40 list.
Hehe, for a second I thought this was called Marlon for Hire. Maybe someone can convince him to set up a rival website to compete.
O.K. Dubai just made my list for places to visit.
Wow, somebody needs to get out of the house more often.
Jeez, the Japanese aren't just crazy, they're also stupid. What a terrible, terrible law. I wonder if McCain or Feingold had anything to do with this.
A 9,000 dollar donut budget is way out of hand...I mean, it's not even a police precinct we're talking about.
I guess the Weekly World News had a slow newsday of batboys and aliens, so they put together this list of dos and don'ts for attending a strip joint. Good advice too; strippers don't really like coins very much.
I'm so glad I grew up 20 years ago...I would have been spending so much time in juvie for the things I did when I was a kid.
Hehe...for a second I thought this was Alex. He's the only guy I know who would wear a shirt like this.
I haven't seen anything this crazy or stupid since Sabu was still wrestling in the ECW...well, at least when they're crippled in a wheelchair, they can be proud that they didn't cry. Ads not safe for work.
Speaking of morons getting tossed around and crushed after doing a stupid stunt...well, just watch it.
I can understand this guy's confusion. This chick is totally sending mixed signals.
This kid got stuck in a hole...hehe...just like Winnie the Pooh.
For the silly ebay auction of the day, we have a condom box full of goodies! I was going to make a joke, but is it really necessary?
"The Constitution gives every American the inalienable right to make a damn fool of himself."
--John Ciardi
It's been a while, but this is a great video. Old people...they'll pho-k you up.
Here's a bunch of pictures of stars then and now...some fare better than others. Terri Hatcher certainly looks better now.
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link of the day, we have a cult member getting his just deserts. Seriously, only in Japan would we have a cult dedicated to feet...well, maybe possible Amsterdam. I saw some crazy stuff there.
Some of these are pretty lame, but there are several good movie cliches in this top 40 list.
Hehe, for a second I thought this was called Marlon for Hire. Maybe someone can convince him to set up a rival website to compete.
O.K. Dubai just made my list for places to visit.
Wow, somebody needs to get out of the house more often.
Jeez, the Japanese aren't just crazy, they're also stupid. What a terrible, terrible law. I wonder if McCain or Feingold had anything to do with this.
A 9,000 dollar donut budget is way out of hand...I mean, it's not even a police precinct we're talking about.
I guess the Weekly World News had a slow newsday of batboys and aliens, so they put together this list of dos and don'ts for attending a strip joint. Good advice too; strippers don't really like coins very much.
I'm so glad I grew up 20 years ago...I would have been spending so much time in juvie for the things I did when I was a kid.
Hehe...for a second I thought this was Alex. He's the only guy I know who would wear a shirt like this.
I haven't seen anything this crazy or stupid since Sabu was still wrestling in the ECW...well, at least when they're crippled in a wheelchair, they can be proud that they didn't cry. Ads not safe for work.
Speaking of morons getting tossed around and crushed after doing a stupid stunt...well, just watch it.
I can understand this guy's confusion. This chick is totally sending mixed signals.
This kid got stuck in a hole...hehe...just like Winnie the Pooh.
For the silly ebay auction of the day, we have a condom box full of goodies! I was going to make a joke, but is it really necessary?
Monday, July 18, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 112 7/18
I hope you all had a fun weekend. My basketball team pulled off our perfect regular season by beating B's team on Sunday; it was a lot closer than it needed to be due to our not taking them very seriously. They're kind of hard to take serious; it's the only team that after playing together for several seasons, they continue to get worse. It's completely unprecedented. B even managed to end up in the hospital the night before our game due to some allergic reaction, no doubt worried about getting embarrassed for the umpteeth time by our team. Unfortunately for him, they released him from the hospital that night and he still had to play. Playoffs are next; hopefully we don't perform like the Oakland A's when we get there.
"Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river."
--Nikita Khrushchev
Here's a list of the top ten most dangerous animals. Somehow penguins manage to stay off the list...I knew mosquitos were up to no good.
This clip should amuse Paul Chua...it involves a curious cat who tries to play with a ceiling fan...turns out they don't land on their feet when they hit a wall.
Wow, this is just like actually playing softball, complete with attempting not to drunkenly fall over.
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link, we have a renactment of that famous Flaming Moe's episode of the Simpsons...Revenge is a noodle dish best served cold.
Hehe...this is a very creative way to tell a story using traffic signs...the plot is all too familiar, though.
Whoa...Snoop Dogg has been married for eight years?!? The same dude who has his own production of Girls Gone Wild? That's an understanding wife...then again, he's a very wealthy guy.
Yep...there are a lot of sick, twisted individuals with websites. I'm just glad they keep providing me with hours of entertainment. This one is not safe for work.
Remember people, No means No! Or neigh...in this case, who really knows?
Just when you thought Britney couldn't get anymore white-trash hillybilly media whoreish, she continues to surprise.
Damn, Texas justice is harsh on psychics who scam people out of money...but then, I'm sure she already saw this coming, right?
So, now SpongeBob is a gay vegetarian? I guess it makes sense...I didn't know sponges even ate food, period.
In a continuing quest to take the Japanese crazy label, this Chinese writer has written a touching novel using nothing but punctuation. Well, it could work; their writing already looks like scribbled punctuation anyways.
I knew sitting around in my underwear playing videogames when I'm sick was a fast track to recovery! If only this study was around when my mom was yelling at me while I was in school.
Hehe...here's a hazardous materials data sheet on women which speaks for itself.
Sure, this guy has way too much time on his hands, but he is pho-king amazing at quarters...seriously, this guy should go on the road and charge for this show.
Wow...I've never seen a jumping roundhouse kick land on someone outside of a movie. Methinks this guy was victorious.
Rodney Mullin is a pretty good skateboarder...I mean, I could probably do these tricks too, just not on purpose.
Damn, check out this bar in Poland apparently designed by Salvador Dali...this must totally mess with your mind once you leave it.
Cool...a complete collection of every Garbage Pail Kids card ever made. I know I had a complete collection of serious 1 and 2.
Never have I seen such a collection of studly dudes in my life. Suddenly I feel inadequate, especially compared to Garvis.
For the silly ebay auction of the day, we have a chick selling ad space on her chest...trust me, it's a lot of space.
I hope you all had a fun weekend. My basketball team pulled off our perfect regular season by beating B's team on Sunday; it was a lot closer than it needed to be due to our not taking them very seriously. They're kind of hard to take serious; it's the only team that after playing together for several seasons, they continue to get worse. It's completely unprecedented. B even managed to end up in the hospital the night before our game due to some allergic reaction, no doubt worried about getting embarrassed for the umpteeth time by our team. Unfortunately for him, they released him from the hospital that night and he still had to play. Playoffs are next; hopefully we don't perform like the Oakland A's when we get there.
"Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river."
--Nikita Khrushchev
Here's a list of the top ten most dangerous animals. Somehow penguins manage to stay off the list...I knew mosquitos were up to no good.
This clip should amuse Paul Chua...it involves a curious cat who tries to play with a ceiling fan...turns out they don't land on their feet when they hit a wall.
Wow, this is just like actually playing softball, complete with attempting not to drunkenly fall over.
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link, we have a renactment of that famous Flaming Moe's episode of the Simpsons...Revenge is a noodle dish best served cold.
Hehe...this is a very creative way to tell a story using traffic signs...the plot is all too familiar, though.
Whoa...Snoop Dogg has been married for eight years?!? The same dude who has his own production of Girls Gone Wild? That's an understanding wife...then again, he's a very wealthy guy.
Yep...there are a lot of sick, twisted individuals with websites. I'm just glad they keep providing me with hours of entertainment. This one is not safe for work.
Remember people, No means No! Or neigh...in this case, who really knows?
Just when you thought Britney couldn't get anymore white-trash hillybilly media whoreish, she continues to surprise.
Damn, Texas justice is harsh on psychics who scam people out of money...but then, I'm sure she already saw this coming, right?
So, now SpongeBob is a gay vegetarian? I guess it makes sense...I didn't know sponges even ate food, period.
In a continuing quest to take the Japanese crazy label, this Chinese writer has written a touching novel using nothing but punctuation. Well, it could work; their writing already looks like scribbled punctuation anyways.
I knew sitting around in my underwear playing videogames when I'm sick was a fast track to recovery! If only this study was around when my mom was yelling at me while I was in school.
Hehe...here's a hazardous materials data sheet on women which speaks for itself.
Sure, this guy has way too much time on his hands, but he is pho-king amazing at quarters...seriously, this guy should go on the road and charge for this show.
Wow...I've never seen a jumping roundhouse kick land on someone outside of a movie. Methinks this guy was victorious.
Rodney Mullin is a pretty good skateboarder...I mean, I could probably do these tricks too, just not on purpose.
Damn, check out this bar in Poland apparently designed by Salvador Dali...this must totally mess with your mind once you leave it.
Cool...a complete collection of every Garbage Pail Kids card ever made. I know I had a complete collection of serious 1 and 2.
Never have I seen such a collection of studly dudes in my life. Suddenly I feel inadequate, especially compared to Garvis.
For the silly ebay auction of the day, we have a chick selling ad space on her chest...trust me, it's a lot of space.
Friday, July 15, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 111 7/15
Friday is finally here. I haven't had any strange signing stories lately because I've been doing so many that they're all sort of running together at this point. One thing I can say is that older black couples are usually really damn entertaining. Last night I did a signing with this guy who is a metalsmith; about 6'2", arms like Paul Bunyan and hands that could probably tear a phone book in half; you wouldn't even think he was 65 years old. His loan company seemed to be trying to take advantage of him, he knew it, but didn't much care. That didn't stop him from calling up his loan officer and cursing him out threatening to not sign all the while smiling at his officer's reactions. He really didn't get exactly want he wanted, but at least he made that guy's day a little more stressful and gave me a free show.
"Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question."
--Albert Camus
Man...these monks are weak. They're supposed to be showing their mad kung fu skillz, not stabbing themselves. Still, they don't look half as bad as the keystone cops trying to arrest them.
Oh no! Toxic baby avengers! Yet another scare tactic study that is looking to enrich scientists...so they can conduct more studies.
Damn, I wish my coke tasted like this. Why does it only happen to people who can't appreciate it? Well, if I go to Germany, I supposed I can buy it.
Great, let's open Al Capone's vault in Egypt! They're going to send the robot back into the great pyramid after the last failure and hope that drilling through a recently discovered door will reveal treasure I suppose. If only they could get Geraldo to host it.
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link of the day, we have a television that shows two different channels at the same time if you look at it at different angles. All this television watching might be why they have the lowest birthrates in the world. I'm scared...they might die out and I'd have no Japanese links anymore.
It seems the new pope isn't going to be purchasing a pre-sale of the new Harry Potter book. Maybe he'll go with another copy of Mein Kampf.
Here's another case of political correctness run amok. Amok, I say! That's a fun work, amok. Amok amok amok! Sorry, got distracted...If they wanna be dykes and ride around on bikes, who's to stop them?
Awww...Juwana Mann actually got jail time for masquerading as a woman. I demand tests on that Michelle Wie chick...or is she?
That's interesting; this marriage got annulled because this 95 year old man didn't understand what he was doing. I agree; this chick was 58...obviously he could do much younger and hotter with all his millions.
Look for the bare necessities, the simple bare necessities...I better not have any children. It seems this is the result of alcoholism.
Wow...I guess owning that stupid Chocolate Factory does some strange things to you. A handle bar mustache? At least he doesn't look as bad as Johnny Depp.
Yes, these are our brave fighting men over there in Iraq. Maybe they're preparing to appear in an episode of Fear Factor. Uriel, don't get any ideas.
I've heard tales of this crazy kung fu movie...now that I've seen the clip, I can tell it's disgusting, tasteless and completely horrible. I have GOT TO SEE IT!
People in Germany have no taste...of course, they like to crap on each other in porno videos too, so I'm not too surprised by this headline.
Oh yeah, this is going to piss off some parental groups something awful. It pisses me off too, but only because it resembles a useless videogame device in the vein of the power glove and that crappy robot that came with the Nintendo.
I think I may have posted this before...but hell, it's so good I'll post it again.
See, online games will ruin your life. Of course, murdering and kidnapping people will usually do that anyways.
Normally Japanese people are crazy, but I'm down with the Tokyo governor. France sucks.
The lesson here is to not answer any dating emails from crazy Russians who want to take you out for a Night at the Roxbury's. This guy's picture is worth the link alone. I'm still laughing...
Sure, you could learn how to paint or play a musical instrument...but this...this is true talent.
Friday is finally here. I haven't had any strange signing stories lately because I've been doing so many that they're all sort of running together at this point. One thing I can say is that older black couples are usually really damn entertaining. Last night I did a signing with this guy who is a metalsmith; about 6'2", arms like Paul Bunyan and hands that could probably tear a phone book in half; you wouldn't even think he was 65 years old. His loan company seemed to be trying to take advantage of him, he knew it, but didn't much care. That didn't stop him from calling up his loan officer and cursing him out threatening to not sign all the while smiling at his officer's reactions. He really didn't get exactly want he wanted, but at least he made that guy's day a little more stressful and gave me a free show.
"Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question."
--Albert Camus
Man...these monks are weak. They're supposed to be showing their mad kung fu skillz, not stabbing themselves. Still, they don't look half as bad as the keystone cops trying to arrest them.
Oh no! Toxic baby avengers! Yet another scare tactic study that is looking to enrich scientists...so they can conduct more studies.
Damn, I wish my coke tasted like this. Why does it only happen to people who can't appreciate it? Well, if I go to Germany, I supposed I can buy it.
Great, let's open Al Capone's vault in Egypt! They're going to send the robot back into the great pyramid after the last failure and hope that drilling through a recently discovered door will reveal treasure I suppose. If only they could get Geraldo to host it.
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link of the day, we have a television that shows two different channels at the same time if you look at it at different angles. All this television watching might be why they have the lowest birthrates in the world. I'm scared...they might die out and I'd have no Japanese links anymore.
It seems the new pope isn't going to be purchasing a pre-sale of the new Harry Potter book. Maybe he'll go with another copy of Mein Kampf.
Here's another case of political correctness run amok. Amok, I say! That's a fun work, amok. Amok amok amok! Sorry, got distracted...If they wanna be dykes and ride around on bikes, who's to stop them?
Awww...Juwana Mann actually got jail time for masquerading as a woman. I demand tests on that Michelle Wie chick...or is she?
That's interesting; this marriage got annulled because this 95 year old man didn't understand what he was doing. I agree; this chick was 58...obviously he could do much younger and hotter with all his millions.
Look for the bare necessities, the simple bare necessities...I better not have any children. It seems this is the result of alcoholism.
Wow...I guess owning that stupid Chocolate Factory does some strange things to you. A handle bar mustache? At least he doesn't look as bad as Johnny Depp.
Yes, these are our brave fighting men over there in Iraq. Maybe they're preparing to appear in an episode of Fear Factor. Uriel, don't get any ideas.
I've heard tales of this crazy kung fu movie...now that I've seen the clip, I can tell it's disgusting, tasteless and completely horrible. I have GOT TO SEE IT!
People in Germany have no taste...of course, they like to crap on each other in porno videos too, so I'm not too surprised by this headline.
Oh yeah, this is going to piss off some parental groups something awful. It pisses me off too, but only because it resembles a useless videogame device in the vein of the power glove and that crappy robot that came with the Nintendo.
I think I may have posted this before...but hell, it's so good I'll post it again.
See, online games will ruin your life. Of course, murdering and kidnapping people will usually do that anyways.
Normally Japanese people are crazy, but I'm down with the Tokyo governor. France sucks.
The lesson here is to not answer any dating emails from crazy Russians who want to take you out for a Night at the Roxbury's. This guy's picture is worth the link alone. I'm still laughing...
Sure, you could learn how to paint or play a musical instrument...but this...this is true talent.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 110 7/14
Whew...what a day. This is being sent out late because I was actually expected to work. Crazy talk, I know, but sometimes it happens. I'm surprised I was able to wake up coherent what with the Tatunka Stout still swimming about my stomach. Damn Marlon for wanting that crap beer...of course, he had to drive home like that too, so I guess he didn't emerge unscathed either. Either way, it's one more day to the weekend. Keep a stiff upper lip, folks. Friday is just around the corner.
"When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice."
--Marquis de la Grange
Uh oh...Planet of the Apes is closer than we think. Help me Doctor Zaius!
Here's a picture of those evil strippers who sexually abused that poor man a couple of days ago...damn, what a loser he was.
Have you ever wanted strange pictures on your nails? Yeah, me neither, but this company is intent on making it happen. Why am I not surprised there's a Japanese group involved?
I guess you really can eat sort of healthy at McDonald's...but doesn't that sort of negate the whole point of going there?
Wow...these crickets make Ron Jeremy look celibate.
Well, now I know what I want for my birthday.
Here's a triathalon game. Why play one crappy game when you can play three?
For the silly ebay auction of the day, we have what looks to be Jack's next car purchase. I mean, he's only got one MR2 now...that can't last for long.
Hehe...Brazil is a dangerous place. I can imagine Lil' Ze running an underground breast implant operation in the City of God.
Awww...poor bi-sexual women are being pressured to be full time lesbians. I'll comfort you...and your female friend.
Wow...it's true. I guess dog really is the other white meat. Ads NSFW
What with summer here, I'm gonna have to get me one of these, at least until those hydro suits from Dune get made. It sure beats lugging around an air conditioning unit on my back.
Looks like another wannabe Leroy, only this guy is all about the headshot.
I guess you really can block bullets with a katana...just not for very long.
No way this can be true...if it is, there are a bunch of people who spent thousands on sex changes are have to be really mad.
Those guys who run with the bulls in Pamplona are a bunch of crazy retards...God, I gotta do that one of these days.
Whew...what a day. This is being sent out late because I was actually expected to work. Crazy talk, I know, but sometimes it happens. I'm surprised I was able to wake up coherent what with the Tatunka Stout still swimming about my stomach. Damn Marlon for wanting that crap beer...of course, he had to drive home like that too, so I guess he didn't emerge unscathed either. Either way, it's one more day to the weekend. Keep a stiff upper lip, folks. Friday is just around the corner.
"When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice."
--Marquis de la Grange
Uh oh...Planet of the Apes is closer than we think. Help me Doctor Zaius!
Here's a picture of those evil strippers who sexually abused that poor man a couple of days ago...damn, what a loser he was.
Have you ever wanted strange pictures on your nails? Yeah, me neither, but this company is intent on making it happen. Why am I not surprised there's a Japanese group involved?
I guess you really can eat sort of healthy at McDonald's...but doesn't that sort of negate the whole point of going there?
Wow...these crickets make Ron Jeremy look celibate.
Well, now I know what I want for my birthday.
Here's a triathalon game. Why play one crappy game when you can play three?
For the silly ebay auction of the day, we have what looks to be Jack's next car purchase. I mean, he's only got one MR2 now...that can't last for long.
Hehe...Brazil is a dangerous place. I can imagine Lil' Ze running an underground breast implant operation in the City of God.
Awww...poor bi-sexual women are being pressured to be full time lesbians. I'll comfort you...and your female friend.
Wow...it's true. I guess dog really is the other white meat. Ads NSFW
What with summer here, I'm gonna have to get me one of these, at least until those hydro suits from Dune get made. It sure beats lugging around an air conditioning unit on my back.
Looks like another wannabe Leroy, only this guy is all about the headshot.
I guess you really can block bullets with a katana...just not for very long.
No way this can be true...if it is, there are a bunch of people who spent thousands on sex changes are have to be really mad.
Those guys who run with the bulls in Pamplona are a bunch of crazy retards...God, I gotta do that one of these days.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 109 7/13
I guess this is movie week, because I ended up watching Fantastic Four last night. A new, fun game to play when you're at the movie theatre nowadays is Sequel, Remake, or New. Try and call out whether the movie is one of these three, but go easy on the new. The only preview we saw that wasn't a sequel was Sky High...in a time when they'll even make a sequel to the Transporter, you know Hollywood is short on ideas. Since I always hated the Fantastic Four comic book and had heard rather tepid reviews, I wasn't expecting a damn thing from it. In that way, I was pleasantly surprised. The movie seems to be aimed at a younger audience as it stays fairly light and never takes itself too seriously. Of course, any movie that casts Jessica Alba as a genius scientist isn't trying very hard. I think it was easier to believe a guy could fly around on fire than to believe Alba knew half the "science" explanations coming out of her mouth. It must be hard being an attractive woman trying to convince the world you're not just a pretty face, especially when you're as wooden and lost looking as she is.
The basic story is this; brilliant but mistake prone scientist Richard Reed and his buddy pilot Ben Grimm convince a wealthy industrialist and college friend, Von Doom(Yeah, right...I dunno where they get these names either), to study this cloud from his space station which may assist in understanding the human genome better. Reed's ex-girlfriend and current head scientist with Von Doom, Sue Storm(no really, that's her name)and her goofy pilot brother Johnny Storm accompany the three to the space station and they get exposed to the cloud, or bitten by a radioactive spider, or whatever. When they come back, they find out they now have various powers, much like the Incredibles. (Just kidding, the Incredibles stole most of their superhero powers from Marvel and especially Fantastic Four...they just happened to do it much better) Reed is trying to build a machine that will reverse the effects for poor Ben Grimm who has transformed into a big rock while Johnny Storm is running around trying to be a celebrity. In line with the new superhero movie cliche, Von Doom starts to lose power of his company through some impossible boardroom shennanigans(much like Batman Begins, Spiderman...you get the picture)and he decides to start killing people. As far as villians go, he's not particularly impressive, but he is made out of metal and can blast people with electricity or something. Anyways, you can guess what happens; lots of property damage gets done, many clever lines and taunting occurs and the 4 face off against this "Dr. Doom" fella. All in all, it was a pretty funny movie. In fact, I enjoyed it at least as much as the humorless Batman Begins, so I'll give it a 7/10.
"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."
--Will Rogers
I guess you don't have to be rich to have an indoor pool...just an idiot.
In case you needed evidence that CIA agents are complete dolts, here's yet another case.
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link...we have a fun street magician making Japanese people look even more confused than normal.
Every party has to have a pooper. This guy needs to be beaten by his friends.
I wonder who's pocket this fell out of? I usually have lots of change, pens and other junk in my sofa...certainly not explosives.
Damn that Godzilla...it's time he and Mothra went and got themselves a room instead of destroying the Japanese countryside.
Even the trailer trash in Los Angeles are millionaires. Property values have officially entered bizarro world.
If this is what needs to happen for a cleaner, environmentally safe world, count me out...and women think men are disgusting...
Oh my god...this is just sick and wrong. I know Dustin Hoffman played a woman, but I didn't realize he took to it so well. NSFW
Hey, buddy, I think you're riding that bike all wrong.
This is a pretty fun game keeping a paper airplane flying...although I've never had one break into pieces when it landed. Maybe it's a glass plane.
Here's a pretty interesting collection of minigames. Check out the bug one.
Alright! The Yeti and his little penguin friends are back...and they've brought a llama! Hehe...Tina you fat lard! Come get some dinner!
Well, we already know that Japanese people are crazy, but them wacky Chinese people keep going for the title. Can't you see these online games are tearing this family apart!!!
Be careful what you wish for...you just might get it.
I think you're supposed to be surprised by the dog, but I'm mostly just annoyed by the people.
The lesson here, I suppose, is don't be french in Kansas. Still...lesbians...cool.
You know...Scientology is pretty bad, but I think it's still an easier life than being gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Scarlett Johansson is the greatest actress of her generation...I for one support her distaste of ugly bras.
This is the best news of the day! There's going to be a sequel to Road House! YES!!!
I guess this is movie week, because I ended up watching Fantastic Four last night. A new, fun game to play when you're at the movie theatre nowadays is Sequel, Remake, or New. Try and call out whether the movie is one of these three, but go easy on the new. The only preview we saw that wasn't a sequel was Sky High...in a time when they'll even make a sequel to the Transporter, you know Hollywood is short on ideas. Since I always hated the Fantastic Four comic book and had heard rather tepid reviews, I wasn't expecting a damn thing from it. In that way, I was pleasantly surprised. The movie seems to be aimed at a younger audience as it stays fairly light and never takes itself too seriously. Of course, any movie that casts Jessica Alba as a genius scientist isn't trying very hard. I think it was easier to believe a guy could fly around on fire than to believe Alba knew half the "science" explanations coming out of her mouth. It must be hard being an attractive woman trying to convince the world you're not just a pretty face, especially when you're as wooden and lost looking as she is.
The basic story is this; brilliant but mistake prone scientist Richard Reed and his buddy pilot Ben Grimm convince a wealthy industrialist and college friend, Von Doom(Yeah, right...I dunno where they get these names either), to study this cloud from his space station which may assist in understanding the human genome better. Reed's ex-girlfriend and current head scientist with Von Doom, Sue Storm(no really, that's her name)and her goofy pilot brother Johnny Storm accompany the three to the space station and they get exposed to the cloud, or bitten by a radioactive spider, or whatever. When they come back, they find out they now have various powers, much like the Incredibles. (Just kidding, the Incredibles stole most of their superhero powers from Marvel and especially Fantastic Four...they just happened to do it much better) Reed is trying to build a machine that will reverse the effects for poor Ben Grimm who has transformed into a big rock while Johnny Storm is running around trying to be a celebrity. In line with the new superhero movie cliche, Von Doom starts to lose power of his company through some impossible boardroom shennanigans(much like Batman Begins, Spiderman...you get the picture)and he decides to start killing people. As far as villians go, he's not particularly impressive, but he is made out of metal and can blast people with electricity or something. Anyways, you can guess what happens; lots of property damage gets done, many clever lines and taunting occurs and the 4 face off against this "Dr. Doom" fella. All in all, it was a pretty funny movie. In fact, I enjoyed it at least as much as the humorless Batman Begins, so I'll give it a 7/10.
"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."
--Will Rogers
I guess you don't have to be rich to have an indoor pool...just an idiot.
In case you needed evidence that CIA agents are complete dolts, here's yet another case.
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link...we have a fun street magician making Japanese people look even more confused than normal.
Every party has to have a pooper. This guy needs to be beaten by his friends.
I wonder who's pocket this fell out of? I usually have lots of change, pens and other junk in my sofa...certainly not explosives.
Damn that Godzilla...it's time he and Mothra went and got themselves a room instead of destroying the Japanese countryside.
Even the trailer trash in Los Angeles are millionaires. Property values have officially entered bizarro world.
If this is what needs to happen for a cleaner, environmentally safe world, count me out...and women think men are disgusting...
Oh my god...this is just sick and wrong. I know Dustin Hoffman played a woman, but I didn't realize he took to it so well. NSFW
Hey, buddy, I think you're riding that bike all wrong.
This is a pretty fun game keeping a paper airplane flying...although I've never had one break into pieces when it landed. Maybe it's a glass plane.
Here's a pretty interesting collection of minigames. Check out the bug one.
Alright! The Yeti and his little penguin friends are back...and they've brought a llama! Hehe...Tina you fat lard! Come get some dinner!
Well, we already know that Japanese people are crazy, but them wacky Chinese people keep going for the title. Can't you see these online games are tearing this family apart!!!
Be careful what you wish for...you just might get it.
I think you're supposed to be surprised by the dog, but I'm mostly just annoyed by the people.
The lesson here, I suppose, is don't be french in Kansas. Still...lesbians...cool.
You know...Scientology is pretty bad, but I think it's still an easier life than being gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Scarlett Johansson is the greatest actress of her generation...I for one support her distaste of ugly bras.
This is the best news of the day! There's going to be a sequel to Road House! YES!!!
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 108 7/12
I watched Man on Fire this weekend as I'm willing to watch any movie that involves lots of explosions and an angry looking Denzel Washington brooding about. I certainly wasn't disappointed; that basically sums up the film. Denzel is one of my favorite actors; sometimes he has an amazing performance like Training Day, but he usually just plays himself. He has one of those onscreen personas that can draw you in to whatever he's trying to do, even if it's something extremely lame like chasing a computer generated killer in Virtuosity. It can be said that he never just phones in a performance...but it can be said he should get a new agent. He's done some stinkers. But I digress; this movie is one of those "pretty good movies." It's very effective in it's execution but it's not particularly great at anything. The plot is a pretty basic revenge story. A former special forces killer turned suicidal alcoholic loser named Creasy takes a temp job as a bodyguard and is convinced by a cute little girl that there are things in life worth sticking around for...all in about 2 weeks, it seems. Well, the little girl, Dakota Fanning, is pretty damn cute so I guess she works fast. Either way, she gets kidnapped and killed while Creasy gets filled with a couple of holes. After he recovers from a collapsed lung and all types of other horrible internal injuries(also in about 2 weeks, it seems...must be that special forces training that makes him heal like Wolverine)he goes on a crazy killing spree dishing out revenge...which is best served cold as we all learned from Arnold the Governator in that fine film Batman and Robin(Or Batman For No Reason, as Moody affectionately refers to it). You can pretty much figure out the rest; lots of people get blown up, shot, cut into pieces, one guy even has an explosive shoved up where the sun don't shine. He's quite inventive, really. The main problems are the villain and the ending. The villain is never really shown and remains somewhat an enigma; I guess it worked for Dr. Claw on Inspector Gadget, but for a revenge movie, it's kind of hard to get revenge on a ghost. The ending is very disappointing in that after Creasy shows himself to be an unstoppable killing machine for most of the movie, he basically goes out like a b*itch in the end. Denzel deserves better, really. I'll give it a 6.5...it loses a point for the crappy ending and the fact that Marc "Mr. J-Lo" Anthony attempts to act in it. He should stick to his day job...whatever that happens to be.
"If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you."
--Don Marquis
I always heard that the Sims community was strange, but I never expected this. NSFW
Bwhahahaha! With this handy Evil Plan generator...you're all doomed! Doomed, I say!
Are you feeling lost in modern day conversation? Check out the online slang dictionary to catch up with all the annoying inside jokes you've been missing.
Herbert Hoover must have had abs of steel...he certainly could have kicked my butt. Still, this sounds like a cool sport; maybe not as good as Slamball, but it's close.
Hey! That black guy took my spot!
Damn, this chick is one hell of an escape artist. Pho-k the police...pho-k the police!
Wow, this guy is a total pussy. Still, I probably would have fainted dead away, too. Those needles are some scary sh*t!
In the "Japanese people are crazy" link, we have 'dem Japanese people imprinting information onto fingernails in order to not have to carry cards around. Apparently, Japanese fingernails never grow, or else this would be a total waste of time.
Well, here's a show that I would never EVER want to watch. In fact, it sounds like something North Korea would use in it's torture chambers.
ADIDAS catch phrase is Impossible is nothing...after watching this commercial, I'd tend to agree. They managed to make soccer seem exciting. (Hat tip: Uriel)
How well do you know your candybars? Take this test to find out...turns out, I know far too much about candybars. It's why I had to lose all that weight.
Heh...first Not safe for work from Slate I've ever seen. Regardless, it's an interesting history of the vibrator. The hand cranked ones? Sounds like some serious manual labor.
I know getting shot with a pellet gun hurts...but this was not this kid's finest moment. Talk about ruining your future politcal hopes.
The anti-smoking people have made some terrible, offensive commercials in their day, but this one has to take the cake.
Interesting. Spain is starting the cloning business to cure diseases. Maybe they should go full board since their population seems to be declining.
Well, I know I wanna go to the Awesomedome this Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!
I guess I missed out on the poorly pixelated sex scenes in Grand Theft Auto, but these parental groups didn't. I know kids like to try and see that stuff, but isn't it ultimately easier just to go online and get real porn?
Looks like I should be planning a trip to Indonesia pretty soon. You know, for research.
For the silly ebay auction of the day, if this works, Jack should give it a try with his crapbox. I know he's been looking into getting it painted.
Jeez, this neighborhood has less of a police safety presence than Newjen's. Still, who doesn't love fun with dynamite?
I watched Man on Fire this weekend as I'm willing to watch any movie that involves lots of explosions and an angry looking Denzel Washington brooding about. I certainly wasn't disappointed; that basically sums up the film. Denzel is one of my favorite actors; sometimes he has an amazing performance like Training Day, but he usually just plays himself. He has one of those onscreen personas that can draw you in to whatever he's trying to do, even if it's something extremely lame like chasing a computer generated killer in Virtuosity. It can be said that he never just phones in a performance...but it can be said he should get a new agent. He's done some stinkers. But I digress; this movie is one of those "pretty good movies." It's very effective in it's execution but it's not particularly great at anything. The plot is a pretty basic revenge story. A former special forces killer turned suicidal alcoholic loser named Creasy takes a temp job as a bodyguard and is convinced by a cute little girl that there are things in life worth sticking around for...all in about 2 weeks, it seems. Well, the little girl, Dakota Fanning, is pretty damn cute so I guess she works fast. Either way, she gets kidnapped and killed while Creasy gets filled with a couple of holes. After he recovers from a collapsed lung and all types of other horrible internal injuries(also in about 2 weeks, it seems...must be that special forces training that makes him heal like Wolverine)he goes on a crazy killing spree dishing out revenge...which is best served cold as we all learned from Arnold the Governator in that fine film Batman and Robin(Or Batman For No Reason, as Moody affectionately refers to it). You can pretty much figure out the rest; lots of people get blown up, shot, cut into pieces, one guy even has an explosive shoved up where the sun don't shine. He's quite inventive, really. The main problems are the villain and the ending. The villain is never really shown and remains somewhat an enigma; I guess it worked for Dr. Claw on Inspector Gadget, but for a revenge movie, it's kind of hard to get revenge on a ghost. The ending is very disappointing in that after Creasy shows himself to be an unstoppable killing machine for most of the movie, he basically goes out like a b*itch in the end. Denzel deserves better, really. I'll give it a 6.5...it loses a point for the crappy ending and the fact that Marc "Mr. J-Lo" Anthony attempts to act in it. He should stick to his day job...whatever that happens to be.
"If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you."
--Don Marquis
I always heard that the Sims community was strange, but I never expected this. NSFW
Bwhahahaha! With this handy Evil Plan generator...you're all doomed! Doomed, I say!
Are you feeling lost in modern day conversation? Check out the online slang dictionary to catch up with all the annoying inside jokes you've been missing.
Herbert Hoover must have had abs of steel...he certainly could have kicked my butt. Still, this sounds like a cool sport; maybe not as good as Slamball, but it's close.
Hey! That black guy took my spot!
Damn, this chick is one hell of an escape artist. Pho-k the police...pho-k the police!
Wow, this guy is a total pussy. Still, I probably would have fainted dead away, too. Those needles are some scary sh*t!
In the "Japanese people are crazy" link, we have 'dem Japanese people imprinting information onto fingernails in order to not have to carry cards around. Apparently, Japanese fingernails never grow, or else this would be a total waste of time.
Well, here's a show that I would never EVER want to watch. In fact, it sounds like something North Korea would use in it's torture chambers.
ADIDAS catch phrase is Impossible is nothing...after watching this commercial, I'd tend to agree. They managed to make soccer seem exciting. (Hat tip: Uriel)
How well do you know your candybars? Take this test to find out...turns out, I know far too much about candybars. It's why I had to lose all that weight.
Heh...first Not safe for work from Slate I've ever seen. Regardless, it's an interesting history of the vibrator. The hand cranked ones? Sounds like some serious manual labor.
I know getting shot with a pellet gun hurts...but this was not this kid's finest moment. Talk about ruining your future politcal hopes.
The anti-smoking people have made some terrible, offensive commercials in their day, but this one has to take the cake.
Interesting. Spain is starting the cloning business to cure diseases. Maybe they should go full board since their population seems to be declining.
Well, I know I wanna go to the Awesomedome this Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!
I guess I missed out on the poorly pixelated sex scenes in Grand Theft Auto, but these parental groups didn't. I know kids like to try and see that stuff, but isn't it ultimately easier just to go online and get real porn?
Looks like I should be planning a trip to Indonesia pretty soon. You know, for research.
For the silly ebay auction of the day, if this works, Jack should give it a try with his crapbox. I know he's been looking into getting it painted.
Jeez, this neighborhood has less of a police safety presence than Newjen's. Still, who doesn't love fun with dynamite?
Monday, July 11, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 107 7/11
Victory, thy name is Playground Legends. Our basketball team is now 6-0 with only one crappy, team full of loser chumps(Brian Morales' team)to go through and make it a perfect season. Sure, we're in a sorry league, but hey, a victory is a victory. Unfortunately, Newjen made some silly bets with Mickey, whose team we beat today. Well, for us it's good, because with our victory, Mickey has to buy the team bottles of gatorade. But he also foolishly bet that he'd outscore Mickey in the game as well...let me put it this way, all of you people reading this scored as many points as Newjen. I warned him not to waste all his ammo on Saturday when we had some practice games, but I'm not even sure that's the problem. Wayne Gretzky said it best,"You miss 100% of the shots you never take." Of course, if my dad had been present, he would have added his favorite quote,"You couldn't score in a Tijuana whorehouse with a fist full of 50 dollar bills!" That about sums it up...somehow, despite the fact that we won, Newjen found a way to be a loser. Still, one hell of a fireworks show, though. For those of you who missed it, I must remind you what a bunch of failures and losers you all are. Greatest...show...ever.
"I am certain there is too much certainy in the world."
--Michael Crichton
What better way to say I'm a big dork than with this belt.
Oh great...now that she's all pregnant and looking like trailer trash, this is when Britney decides to pose naked.
Holy smokes! Daisy Duke sure has come a long way, baby.
Uh oh...the Atlantic ocean is getting warmer. Must be all those damn SUVs, or even more sinister, the Earth going through a normal climate cycle that it's been doing for millions of years. On a lighter note, at least the beaches on the east coast will be nicer.
I have the feeling that I forgot to do something...it's really nagging me...
Because you demanded it, Uriel, here's a fun little video about the beauty of nature, so it obviously involves death and carnage. Survival of the fittest, foo! Darwin represent! (Hat tip: Uriel)
Uriel was on a mission from God this weekend; to find me links. Check out this magic trick; it involves a quarter being swallowed and a scalpel...I'm not going to ruin it for you. (Hat tip: Uriel)
Hehe...this guy needs to stop watching Japanese cartoons...or tv shows in general.
The world weeps at losing more potential offspring from this winner. I mean, hell, 72 beers in one day? That guy's my hero.
This is pretty neat; it shows you step by step on how to turn an ancient skull into a facial reconstruction of a cartoon character.
Gee Mr. Wizard, I think I'll save the hours of work and preparation and just buy a damn 3 dollar carton of ice cream.
This is pretty interesting; growing meat in a lab? Meals in a pill are just around the corner...although I still want to know where the hell my flying car is.
Hey Chih Hao, I have a new blog for you to read.
Hmmm...so the rumor is David Lee Roth taking over for Howard Stern on the radio. They are both ugly dudes with bad hair who talk about nothing but sex, so it might work.
Wow...who knew that old line about following like a sheep was factually based? Way to go, shepherds, by the way. Good looking out.
Jeez...and you thought your job sucked. His certainly did.
In the "Japanese people are crazy" link, well, this has to be Japan, right? With a name like the panty bandit, you KNOW it's not safe for work.
Whoops...that's why fire and alcohol don't mix...unless you're making a moltov cocktail, that is. Still, it brings back memories of Newjen's fireworks extravaganza.
For the silly ebay auction of the day, we have quite a doozy. Can't you imagine Golden Palace.com advertising in this?
I guess this guy doesn't like blogs...which he ironically writes about...on his blog.
Victory, thy name is Playground Legends. Our basketball team is now 6-0 with only one crappy, team full of loser chumps(Brian Morales' team)to go through and make it a perfect season. Sure, we're in a sorry league, but hey, a victory is a victory. Unfortunately, Newjen made some silly bets with Mickey, whose team we beat today. Well, for us it's good, because with our victory, Mickey has to buy the team bottles of gatorade. But he also foolishly bet that he'd outscore Mickey in the game as well...let me put it this way, all of you people reading this scored as many points as Newjen. I warned him not to waste all his ammo on Saturday when we had some practice games, but I'm not even sure that's the problem. Wayne Gretzky said it best,"You miss 100% of the shots you never take." Of course, if my dad had been present, he would have added his favorite quote,"You couldn't score in a Tijuana whorehouse with a fist full of 50 dollar bills!" That about sums it up...somehow, despite the fact that we won, Newjen found a way to be a loser. Still, one hell of a fireworks show, though. For those of you who missed it, I must remind you what a bunch of failures and losers you all are. Greatest...show...ever.
"I am certain there is too much certainy in the world."
--Michael Crichton
What better way to say I'm a big dork than with this belt.
Oh great...now that she's all pregnant and looking like trailer trash, this is when Britney decides to pose naked.
Holy smokes! Daisy Duke sure has come a long way, baby.
Uh oh...the Atlantic ocean is getting warmer. Must be all those damn SUVs, or even more sinister, the Earth going through a normal climate cycle that it's been doing for millions of years. On a lighter note, at least the beaches on the east coast will be nicer.
I have the feeling that I forgot to do something...it's really nagging me...
Because you demanded it, Uriel, here's a fun little video about the beauty of nature, so it obviously involves death and carnage. Survival of the fittest, foo! Darwin represent! (Hat tip: Uriel)
Uriel was on a mission from God this weekend; to find me links. Check out this magic trick; it involves a quarter being swallowed and a scalpel...I'm not going to ruin it for you. (Hat tip: Uriel)
Hehe...this guy needs to stop watching Japanese cartoons...or tv shows in general.
The world weeps at losing more potential offspring from this winner. I mean, hell, 72 beers in one day? That guy's my hero.
This is pretty neat; it shows you step by step on how to turn an ancient skull into a facial reconstruction of a cartoon character.
Gee Mr. Wizard, I think I'll save the hours of work and preparation and just buy a damn 3 dollar carton of ice cream.
This is pretty interesting; growing meat in a lab? Meals in a pill are just around the corner...although I still want to know where the hell my flying car is.
Hey Chih Hao, I have a new blog for you to read.
Hmmm...so the rumor is David Lee Roth taking over for Howard Stern on the radio. They are both ugly dudes with bad hair who talk about nothing but sex, so it might work.
Wow...who knew that old line about following like a sheep was factually based? Way to go, shepherds, by the way. Good looking out.
Jeez...and you thought your job sucked. His certainly did.
In the "Japanese people are crazy" link, well, this has to be Japan, right? With a name like the panty bandit, you KNOW it's not safe for work.
Whoops...that's why fire and alcohol don't mix...unless you're making a moltov cocktail, that is. Still, it brings back memories of Newjen's fireworks extravaganza.
For the silly ebay auction of the day, we have quite a doozy. Can't you imagine Golden Palace.com advertising in this?
I guess this guy doesn't like blogs...which he ironically writes about...on his blog.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 106 7/8
Thank goodness for Fridays. This has been the longest shortened week I've ever experienced. I hope you all have a nice weekend, most likely a little less exciting than the 4th. I just want out of this madhouse for the day. Here's an example of what strange people I work with. There's this woman, Melanie, who likes to play pranks on people such as scaring people coming out of the bathroom. She comes in here earlier to tell us this great idea she has for messing with her husband; it involves her getting this mannequin, lighting candles all throughout the bedroom and waiting until her husband comes home. Then she wants to roll around in bed with this dummy and act surprised when her husband walks in...Hahaha! Why does that sound like an episode of Cops waiting to happen? That, or Divorce Court.
"Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine."
--Sir Arthur Eddington
This chick MUST be crazy. I for one wouldn't piss off O.J. Simpson if he knew where I lived. You know, I wouldn't want to distract him from finding his wife's murderer or anything.
Here's a collection of old porn movie posters from the 60's and 70's. Women appeared to have worn less make up then.
Here's yet another useless list of some joker's opinion. This one involving the 13 most overrated songs. Being I haven't even heard of a couple of these, I'm going to have to disagree.
Wow...don't bring carbombs in to Moscow; they'll get medieval on yo ass.
Sure, not following a cop's orders can get you maced in the face, but it can also get you a 60,000 dollar judgment too. My favorite quote,"I ain't god yo mother pho-kin' money!"
You'd think I'd be getting tired of zombie games that involve lots of head shots and death...but you'd be wrong.
I never thought I'd hear some environmentalists agreeing with President Bush about...well, anything. Still, it's about time we went nuclear, or however he says it.
Now this is neat; a glass bridge over the Grand Canyon. You can pretend you're in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
No thanks buddy...sure, my leg's broken, but I think I'll walk.
Fly little birdie...fly!
It's nice to see we're having an effect on liberalizing the society there in China. USA! USA!
I guess this is a pretty cool way to propose to your girlfriend. If she turns you down, at least you can always impress a pretty onlooker with your stunt.
For those of you who just can't tear themselves from their computer...now you can! Please, do the world a favor and start with taking a shower.
This is a pretty lame game, but if you can't get outside and play with waterballoons, I suppose this will do.
For all 3 of you who have been missing all the Star Wars links lately, here's an interesting Jedi trainer game that sort of works like Asteroids.
Here's another one of those frustrating yet fun games involving angles and arrows.
This may be the greatest fighting game ever made. Then again, I'm drunk, so I say a lot of things I don't mean.
Something tells me this disguise would only make the dog more dangerous.
For the silly ebay auction of the day, we have a Barbie version of my grandmother. It's so dead on, it's frightening.
Thank goodness for Fridays. This has been the longest shortened week I've ever experienced. I hope you all have a nice weekend, most likely a little less exciting than the 4th. I just want out of this madhouse for the day. Here's an example of what strange people I work with. There's this woman, Melanie, who likes to play pranks on people such as scaring people coming out of the bathroom. She comes in here earlier to tell us this great idea she has for messing with her husband; it involves her getting this mannequin, lighting candles all throughout the bedroom and waiting until her husband comes home. Then she wants to roll around in bed with this dummy and act surprised when her husband walks in...Hahaha! Why does that sound like an episode of Cops waiting to happen? That, or Divorce Court.
"Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine."
--Sir Arthur Eddington
This chick MUST be crazy. I for one wouldn't piss off O.J. Simpson if he knew where I lived. You know, I wouldn't want to distract him from finding his wife's murderer or anything.
Here's a collection of old porn movie posters from the 60's and 70's. Women appeared to have worn less make up then.
Here's yet another useless list of some joker's opinion. This one involving the 13 most overrated songs. Being I haven't even heard of a couple of these, I'm going to have to disagree.
Wow...don't bring carbombs in to Moscow; they'll get medieval on yo ass.
Sure, not following a cop's orders can get you maced in the face, but it can also get you a 60,000 dollar judgment too. My favorite quote,"I ain't god yo mother pho-kin' money!"
You'd think I'd be getting tired of zombie games that involve lots of head shots and death...but you'd be wrong.
I never thought I'd hear some environmentalists agreeing with President Bush about...well, anything. Still, it's about time we went nuclear, or however he says it.
Now this is neat; a glass bridge over the Grand Canyon. You can pretend you're in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.
No thanks buddy...sure, my leg's broken, but I think I'll walk.
Fly little birdie...fly!
It's nice to see we're having an effect on liberalizing the society there in China. USA! USA!
I guess this is a pretty cool way to propose to your girlfriend. If she turns you down, at least you can always impress a pretty onlooker with your stunt.
For those of you who just can't tear themselves from their computer...now you can! Please, do the world a favor and start with taking a shower.
This is a pretty lame game, but if you can't get outside and play with waterballoons, I suppose this will do.
For all 3 of you who have been missing all the Star Wars links lately, here's an interesting Jedi trainer game that sort of works like Asteroids.
Here's another one of those frustrating yet fun games involving angles and arrows.
This may be the greatest fighting game ever made. Then again, I'm drunk, so I say a lot of things I don't mean.
Something tells me this disguise would only make the dog more dangerous.
For the silly ebay auction of the day, we have a Barbie version of my grandmother. It's so dead on, it's frightening.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 105 7/7
Well, Thursday is already here. Thank god for short weeks; especially ones with huge explosions at the start. I watched City of God this weekend, a Brazillian film which my friend Paul described as a cross between Goodfellas and Kids. That's not a bad analogy as the movie follows the rise and fall of a group of drugdealers and one evil, flawed man's quest to become the most powerful man in the city...except that nobody seems to be over 18 years old and many much younger. It's rather shocking to see 12 year olds running around with weapons shooting each other, but what's even more shocking is the fact that this movie is somewhat based on a true story. This is the type of movie that makes you glad you grew up in an American suburb. I was under the impression that this movie was going to be one of those heavy, artsy movies with deep meaning or some other b.s., but it actually turned out to be a fast paced, clever, dark comedy that immerses you into a foreign culture of death and violence. The director skillfully weaves various stories into one another which could have led to a very confusing movie. Shocking, horrifying, hilarious, depressing and uplifting all at once, I have to say I really enjoyed this one. I'll give it a 8.5/10.
"I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy."
--Richard Feynman
This is one crazy ass bunny.
Although I don't condone frog violence, this bastard had it coming.
I had no idea squirrels were this cool. These guys could totally take Chip and Dale any day.
Eat the bug...EAT IT!
An illiterate Chinese man passed himself off as a top government official in Beijing to swindle people...big deal, he could have pulled that act and got elected to the senate here.
It appears that Russia has it's own 4 thousand year old Stonehenge. Those space aliens sure got around, didn't they? I bet Tom Cruise would know.
Wow...new tallest man discovered in Mongolia at 7 feet 8.95 inches tall as the previous guy was 8.90 inches. I guess it's true; there always is someone a little taller and a little faster no matter how good you are...
Venus and Serena Williams are competing for a role in X-men 3 as a transvestite hooker...I'm sorry, I mean bisexual. Whoops...Freudian slip.
Residents of Kenai, Alaska are up in arms because a postal clerk is not allowed to wear colorful ties anymore and apparently trying very hard to prove they live in the most boring place on the face of the Earth.
I really wish I was a cellphone all of a sudden...
Speaking of...uh...cellphone holders, this chick pulled the ultimate dine and dash, or major surgery and dash, I suppose.
O.K., one more weird story about breasts, only because it involves a man in serious need of a manzeer, or was it a bro?
Not that I needed this sort of warning, but I am avoiding the soda if I'm ever in Bengali.
For those of you wondering what you missed at Newjen's big bang show on the 4th...it was like this, complete with injuries.
Should I be worried that I answered 9/10 on this quiz about Keanu Reeves career? Really, the only thing I can say about that is....whoa!
Very cool. I had no idea there were trogdolytes in Australia.
Here's a ranking of the best beers in the world by beer enthusiasts. Funny, I don't see Coors on here.
This car can be powered on less energy than a lightbulb...of course, it appears to have a weight limit of 90 pounds and could be passed up by an old lady in a walker, but hey, it's a start.
I don't really care about the story, but check out this pic. That is one fly panda. The Lakers should sign him.
For the silly ebay auction of the day...well, actually, this thing is just freakin' creepy and is going to give me nightmares. Enjoy.
Well, Thursday is already here. Thank god for short weeks; especially ones with huge explosions at the start. I watched City of God this weekend, a Brazillian film which my friend Paul described as a cross between Goodfellas and Kids. That's not a bad analogy as the movie follows the rise and fall of a group of drugdealers and one evil, flawed man's quest to become the most powerful man in the city...except that nobody seems to be over 18 years old and many much younger. It's rather shocking to see 12 year olds running around with weapons shooting each other, but what's even more shocking is the fact that this movie is somewhat based on a true story. This is the type of movie that makes you glad you grew up in an American suburb. I was under the impression that this movie was going to be one of those heavy, artsy movies with deep meaning or some other b.s., but it actually turned out to be a fast paced, clever, dark comedy that immerses you into a foreign culture of death and violence. The director skillfully weaves various stories into one another which could have led to a very confusing movie. Shocking, horrifying, hilarious, depressing and uplifting all at once, I have to say I really enjoyed this one. I'll give it a 8.5/10.
"I believe that a scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy."
--Richard Feynman
This is one crazy ass bunny.
Although I don't condone frog violence, this bastard had it coming.
I had no idea squirrels were this cool. These guys could totally take Chip and Dale any day.
Eat the bug...EAT IT!
An illiterate Chinese man passed himself off as a top government official in Beijing to swindle people...big deal, he could have pulled that act and got elected to the senate here.
It appears that Russia has it's own 4 thousand year old Stonehenge. Those space aliens sure got around, didn't they? I bet Tom Cruise would know.
Wow...new tallest man discovered in Mongolia at 7 feet 8.95 inches tall as the previous guy was 8.90 inches. I guess it's true; there always is someone a little taller and a little faster no matter how good you are...
Venus and Serena Williams are competing for a role in X-men 3 as a transvestite hooker...I'm sorry, I mean bisexual. Whoops...Freudian slip.
Residents of Kenai, Alaska are up in arms because a postal clerk is not allowed to wear colorful ties anymore and apparently trying very hard to prove they live in the most boring place on the face of the Earth.
I really wish I was a cellphone all of a sudden...
Speaking of...uh...cellphone holders, this chick pulled the ultimate dine and dash, or major surgery and dash, I suppose.
O.K., one more weird story about breasts, only because it involves a man in serious need of a manzeer, or was it a bro?
Not that I needed this sort of warning, but I am avoiding the soda if I'm ever in Bengali.
For those of you wondering what you missed at Newjen's big bang show on the 4th...it was like this, complete with injuries.
Should I be worried that I answered 9/10 on this quiz about Keanu Reeves career? Really, the only thing I can say about that is....whoa!
Very cool. I had no idea there were trogdolytes in Australia.
Here's a ranking of the best beers in the world by beer enthusiasts. Funny, I don't see Coors on here.
This car can be powered on less energy than a lightbulb...of course, it appears to have a weight limit of 90 pounds and could be passed up by an old lady in a walker, but hey, it's a start.
I don't really care about the story, but check out this pic. That is one fly panda. The Lakers should sign him.
For the silly ebay auction of the day...well, actually, this thing is just freakin' creepy and is going to give me nightmares. Enjoy.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 104 7/6
"Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought."
--Albert von Szent-Gyorgyi
This spoof doesn't quite work because the ipod shuffle does sound like the lamest piece of crap I've ever heard of. You can't see what you're playing or organize your songs...how much more ridiculous is this iflea?
Test your geek knowledge of Lord of the Rings with, "Who wants to be the Ring Bearer!" Is dat yer final answer?
The "Japanese people are crazy" link is really an old one, Kobayashi, the crazy hot dog eating champion of...well, eating has won his 5th title. I bet Shaq and Kobe are jealous.
You'd think I'd get tired of watching people wipe out on bicycles...but you'd be wrong. Ads on this page aren't safe for work.
Here's a fun video compilation of people getting knocked the pho-k out...although some of them fight like a bunch of girls. Oh wait, they are. Still, that's no excuse.
Here's some helpful hints on how to stalk the one you love.
Wow...that's just harsh. But really, REALLY damn funny. La migra! La migra!
O.K. This isn't safe for work...but, there are some really weird people out there. How is this something that warrants it's own paysite?
Jeez...first Drill Strong...now Beat It bracelets? That's not sexually suggestive, or anything.
Damn, this ruskie has some bad luck. Serves him right, wearing a mullet in this day and age.
This is just creepy, which is why it reminds me of the nurse on South Park.
Here's a story that should interest Alex who I know would love to be crowned king of the Otakus...and would take any excuse to go back to Japan and buy more toys.
Dwarves are cool...but compared to kung fu masters? Hell, sign me up! This is gonna be the best Disney movie since...huh...what was the last good Disney movie?
Does this article qualify as good journalism in India? If it does, I'm reading the wrong newspapers. The only good one in the states with stories on aliens are the Weekly World News.
How is a 70 year old woman walking around in a thong protesting torture? Sounds more like infliction of it to me. They should release the bulls during the protest, then their herd a little.
Pamela Anderson's mom wishes Pam was a lesbian because she doesn't like her taste in men. Hehe...I've had that wish...or is it fantasy?
I've never seen this commercial before; nothing like getting punked by a little kid.
Hmmm...never poke an angry leopard with a stick. It's funny because it's true.
This is a commercial you could never get away with making here in the states...I laughed for at least 10 minutes after this one.
This is pretty cool; I remember making flipbooks back in jr. high school. My flipbook got confiscated by teacher though...something about being inappropriate.
"Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought."
--Albert von Szent-Gyorgyi
This spoof doesn't quite work because the ipod shuffle does sound like the lamest piece of crap I've ever heard of. You can't see what you're playing or organize your songs...how much more ridiculous is this iflea?
Test your geek knowledge of Lord of the Rings with, "Who wants to be the Ring Bearer!" Is dat yer final answer?
The "Japanese people are crazy" link is really an old one, Kobayashi, the crazy hot dog eating champion of...well, eating has won his 5th title. I bet Shaq and Kobe are jealous.
You'd think I'd get tired of watching people wipe out on bicycles...but you'd be wrong. Ads on this page aren't safe for work.
Here's a fun video compilation of people getting knocked the pho-k out...although some of them fight like a bunch of girls. Oh wait, they are. Still, that's no excuse.
Here's some helpful hints on how to stalk the one you love.
Wow...that's just harsh. But really, REALLY damn funny. La migra! La migra!
O.K. This isn't safe for work...but, there are some really weird people out there. How is this something that warrants it's own paysite?
Jeez...first Drill Strong...now Beat It bracelets? That's not sexually suggestive, or anything.
Damn, this ruskie has some bad luck. Serves him right, wearing a mullet in this day and age.
This is just creepy, which is why it reminds me of the nurse on South Park.
Here's a story that should interest Alex who I know would love to be crowned king of the Otakus...and would take any excuse to go back to Japan and buy more toys.
Dwarves are cool...but compared to kung fu masters? Hell, sign me up! This is gonna be the best Disney movie since...huh...what was the last good Disney movie?
Does this article qualify as good journalism in India? If it does, I'm reading the wrong newspapers. The only good one in the states with stories on aliens are the Weekly World News.
How is a 70 year old woman walking around in a thong protesting torture? Sounds more like infliction of it to me. They should release the bulls during the protest, then their herd a little.
Pamela Anderson's mom wishes Pam was a lesbian because she doesn't like her taste in men. Hehe...I've had that wish...or is it fantasy?
I've never seen this commercial before; nothing like getting punked by a little kid.
Hmmm...never poke an angry leopard with a stick. It's funny because it's true.
This is a commercial you could never get away with making here in the states...I laughed for at least 10 minutes after this one.
This is pretty cool; I remember making flipbooks back in jr. high school. My flipbook got confiscated by teacher though...something about being inappropriate.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Farkin' Links Vol. 103 7/5
Howdy folks, I hope you all had a fairly safe but fun 4th of July. You know, no prison stories or anything. Newjen's big firework extravaganza was amazing this year; Moody stated at one point that he wasn't even impressed anymore...he was just in awe. Of course, he's been known to praise soccer, so it's hard to gauge when he's passed into embellishment. Either way, if you don't count the cops showing up or that girl getting horribly burned on her leg, it was one hell of a show. Those of you who didn't come are a bunch of losers and you'll regret for the rest of your lives. But hey, mabye next time. Oh wait, there won't be a next time...
"I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones."
--John Cage
Well, at least they didn't get stuck on the coaster upside down...their heads would have exploded.
Hehe...just like Winnie the Pooh.
The teacher/student sex ed. story brought to you from Essex today. I guess the Europeans are more wild; that, or all that socialism really does lead to overstaffing...pun not intended.
Man cannot live on bread alone...nor a woman simply on Crisps. I'm not sure what those are, but they sure sound tasty.
This is kinda cool, although I can hear Ben Wu scoffing at amateur science hour.
Speaking of amateur science hour...here's a guy who obviously spent far too much time watching MacGyver, but failed to learn the lesson that MacGyver was a peaceful dude...not to mention very stylish in his faded leather jacket.
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link, we have a camp brothel. I didn't even know there was anyplace TO camp in Japan...isn't it all skyscrapers and giant monsters?
I know you Laker haters are jealous of the new draftpick, Andrew Bynum. Check out his fresh myspace site. Word. (Hat tip: Jon)
That's one interesting hobby...maybe it's what originally inspired the etch a sketch. God, I hated that thing.
I really can't argue with Google's search engine...it's pretty much right on the money about Paris.
More proof that you have to be gay to actually attend a WNBA game...you know, except for Jon. He's like, totally straight.
Who would have thought hitting a flaming melon full of propane with a bat would be dangerous? Eh...still not as dangerous as a Tony Newjen fireworks spectacular.
Here's a listing of the top movies as ranked by female users on IMBD. How the hell is a prison movie featuring a man on man rape number 2? Actually, maybe I don't want to know.
For the silly ebay auction of the day, we have an anti-Bush bracelet like Lance Armstrong's...although, it sounds more like something Randy West or Peter North would be wearing.
Hehe...white people are funny.
Howdy folks, I hope you all had a fairly safe but fun 4th of July. You know, no prison stories or anything. Newjen's big firework extravaganza was amazing this year; Moody stated at one point that he wasn't even impressed anymore...he was just in awe. Of course, he's been known to praise soccer, so it's hard to gauge when he's passed into embellishment. Either way, if you don't count the cops showing up or that girl getting horribly burned on her leg, it was one hell of a show. Those of you who didn't come are a bunch of losers and you'll regret for the rest of your lives. But hey, mabye next time. Oh wait, there won't be a next time...
"I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones."
--John Cage
Well, at least they didn't get stuck on the coaster upside down...their heads would have exploded.
Hehe...just like Winnie the Pooh.
The teacher/student sex ed. story brought to you from Essex today. I guess the Europeans are more wild; that, or all that socialism really does lead to overstaffing...pun not intended.
Man cannot live on bread alone...nor a woman simply on Crisps. I'm not sure what those are, but they sure sound tasty.
This is kinda cool, although I can hear Ben Wu scoffing at amateur science hour.
Speaking of amateur science hour...here's a guy who obviously spent far too much time watching MacGyver, but failed to learn the lesson that MacGyver was a peaceful dude...not to mention very stylish in his faded leather jacket.
For the "Japanese people are crazy" link, we have a camp brothel. I didn't even know there was anyplace TO camp in Japan...isn't it all skyscrapers and giant monsters?
I know you Laker haters are jealous of the new draftpick, Andrew Bynum. Check out his fresh myspace site. Word. (Hat tip: Jon)
That's one interesting hobby...maybe it's what originally inspired the etch a sketch. God, I hated that thing.
I really can't argue with Google's search engine...it's pretty much right on the money about Paris.
More proof that you have to be gay to actually attend a WNBA game...you know, except for Jon. He's like, totally straight.
Who would have thought hitting a flaming melon full of propane with a bat would be dangerous? Eh...still not as dangerous as a Tony Newjen fireworks spectacular.
Here's a listing of the top movies as ranked by female users on IMBD. How the hell is a prison movie featuring a man on man rape number 2? Actually, maybe I don't want to know.
For the silly ebay auction of the day, we have an anti-Bush bracelet like Lance Armstrong's...although, it sounds more like something Randy West or Peter North would be wearing.
Hehe...white people are funny.
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