Farkin' Links Vol. 64 4/29

Another day, another bowl of pho. I better stop eating it all the time or I'm going to ruin it for my tastebuds like I did with Tequila that one night where...uhhh...nevermind. Still, I tried a new pho place that Newjen had found and it tasted...well, it tasted a whole lot like pho. Kim and Tony attempted to convince me that the broth was different, but I do believe they're talking out of their asses. They can fool themselves, but they can't fool me. We did come to the conclusion last night during a baseball videogame that any sort of glitch which screws one team over on a play is now officially called a "Dirt Newjinski." This named in dishonor of Tony's ability to take advantage of existing errors in code or to just plain play outside the spirit of fair play which he excels at. The funny part is that he's rather proud of being known to be a dirty player; if only he'd been bigger he would have made a great heel in wrestling. He could have given the Iron Sheik a run for his money.

"The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible."
--Jean Kerr


See, this is why I don't go to any Renaissance fairs...or is it faires?

Poor Bruce Willis...he was forced, FORCED to kiss Jessica Alba in Sin City. It sure is tough being a movie star.

So, if anybody is looking for a birthday present for me later in the year...DO NOT get me this.

One bonus of men getting married is that they're stopped from buying furniture like this.

Talk about slow! This guy took 7 years to get a joke...and then promptly killed the joker. I guess it wasn't very funny.

Wow...cell phones...what CAN'T they do!?

Not only is being a movie star tough, but I guess partying like a rock star is hazardous to your health.

The Governator really is the coolest guy. Seriously, folks, would you rather have Ahnold and his great quotes like this or that bland loser Gray Davis?

After you get used to the controls, this paintball game is pretty fun and it leaves less bruises than the real thing.

Didn't like that one? How about a parachuting Daffy Duck?

O.K., fine, that one sucked too. Everyone loves darts, though, right?

I'm not really a fan of the whole giant rubber band as a bracelet thing, but I think I might wear this one.

Whoops...I guess the Auschwitz model BMW should be just around the corner at this point.

Hulk Hogan IS the real American! I didn't know he could play the guitar!

I guess his wife just isn't that kinky.

I dunno what's wrong with these youngsters today; I'm definitely not bored of porn yet.

This headline is about as surprising as learning that water makes you wet.

Wow...this just isn't Vader's week, is it? First that terrible commercial, now getting hassled by the "man?"

This seems like a lot of work to keep your drink from getting spiked...you might as well hire a midget to taste it first.

Whoa...this is just like that Pina Colada song, only with prostitution.