Farkin' Links Vol. 62 4/27

I must have jinxed myself by saying how much I enjoy my side job as a notary, because last night's events were surreal and scary enough to be called kafkaesque(But only if you're an English major like Tristan or Carol.) The fact that I was driving around Compton at 9 p.m. was bad enough; I had to pull a Michael Bolton from Office Space and pump up some rap station so I wouldn't stick out like a white man in the hood. I was assisted by this rather eloquent homeless crackhead who knew his directions better than the useless speed freak at the Mobil station. Since everything I know comes from the movies, I'm assuming this guy was one of those magical black men that wanders the earth helping out white people, like in The Legend of Bagger Vance or Morpheus in the Matrix. I very glad I met one of them instead of one looking to shoot me and steal my shoes. Well, any adventure in Compton that I come out without having been mugged or stabbed is a successful one. Oh, the links. Enjoy...

"The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment."
--Dorothy Nevill

Just a follow up on that Natasha Lyonne is a crack head story...it seems her father isn't too happy about the charges.

The inspiration for one of the great Seinfeld episodes is back!

I found the Triumph the Dog skit at the Star Wars movie line. Not safe for work because you'll be laughing your ass off.

How the heck does a Swedish right's group get mad about an ice cream having a racist name towards blacks? Did the 1 black guy living there complain? I know how to solve the problem; change the name nogger to nogga. It seems to work for the rappers.

I'm not real fond of the whole pimp my ride thing, but even I have to admit; this is pretty cool.

Boy...becoming a police officer sure looks fun! I always wanted to taser a man just for the hell of it.

They say everyone is a whore, it's just a matter of the price. I'd accept far less than this chick, but, hell, good on ya!

This better not be the future of hybrid engines! If it is, I'm gonna have to replace my horn with a big whistle and add a cow catcher.

Look out, Fong! Robots are gunning for your job. Since it's built by Honda, it's probably far more efficient too...

Hehe...I saw this sign the other day while I was out and about. They still haven't gotten over that Mexican-American war, have they?

Damn...Robert Downey Jr. is my hero! Not just because of the whole drug addiction and prison time, either.

I haven't gone on about how much France sucks, lately, but this seems like a good story to illustrate it. Miss France is going to lose her title for licentious behavior, or posing in Playboy. I'm guessing it's not the nudity since you could see that at their beaches, it must be the fact it's an American company.

Jeez, a jurist pulled this a couple of weeks ago and got fined for being in contempt. I guess it's good to be the "Judge."

I guess not all newsreporters are complete lying bastards...they just get fired by their complete lying bastard bosses.

Hehe...this is probably the best history of Pac-Man I've ever seen. NSFW

Alright, the Yeti is back! Unfortunately, he's in a poor surfing game, but he's still walloping penguins.

This game is for those weird people who like European games...you know...basically Moody.

If you've ever wanted to know what those dorks who use leet speak are trying to say, here's a translation program.

Human sacrifices, dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!

Hmmm...I wonder if she's missing a finger? This could solve that weird Wendy's Chili story that's been going on around here.