Farkin' Links Vol. 61 4/26

Tuesday...the day after Monday. That's really all I can say about this day. It might actually be worse than Monday because it's not quite halfway into the work week like Hump Day nor is it close to the weekend like Thursday...it just sucks. Something that doesn't suck is my notary gig that I do after work; it's the perfect fit for my voyeuristic proclivities(Word of the day 4/5/02...only took me 3 years to apply it in a sentence). Just yesterday I signed loan docs with a lesbian couple(Which fit my stance on gay marriage to a tee; I support gay marriage only if both the chicks are hot) and a truck driver who competed in the Olympics in their powder shot shooting category. I didn't realize this was an Olympic event, but they let curling in. At least this one could theoretically kill someone. Even better, I did a signing last week with a family of carnies. I actually met them in their trailer right behind the carnival ring toss game. I considered pulling a Homer and asking if I could join the circus until I took a close look at the freak show of folks running it. They were the type of people who could seriously ask, "If I get a divorce from my wife, are we still brother and sister?" Hmmm...I got carried away with this into today. Anyways, enjoy.

"If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?"
--Art Hoppe
You know, he has a point.

I guess I can't fault a Canadian for not knowing the words to the Star Spangled Banner, but how did she fall down on the ice? Aren't those people ice skating at 2?

This pimpin' your ride thing has gone far enough. My pizza cutter doesn not need to be pimped.

This gum artist is still going strong. He has even more pictures of famous women...made out of used bubblegum. I'm not sure what's weirder, the fact that he uses used gum in his portraits, or that it's not his used gum.

Hmmm...somebody needs to have a talk with this guy about the difference between fantasy and reality. You are not a body builder!

This is interesting; a stripper was charged with an immoral act with a sex toy. I know there's that whole don't touch the stripper rule, who knew it applies to themselves as well?

This is one crazy freak accident. Jumping out of a plane isn't exactly safe, but you usually don't expect to lose body parts like an extra in Sin City.

These 100,000 dollar bottles of wine make me feel better about getting fleeced in Vietnam over a bottle of Johnny Walker blue.

These coloring books are fun and educational too!

Well, he's got a point. These kids suck at art.

This guy is collecting images of Jesus and putting a new one up for each day. Why? Because Jesus is cool, that's why.

That can't be right...this hot wheel car on ebay is selling for more than Jack's MR2. Yeah, it's in better shape and probably breaks down less, but still.

Damn...this table tennis game is just like playing a real one...I keep getting my ass handed to me.

Whoa...nobody needs to hear their mom tell them that. It's just sick and wrong.

Speaking of sick and wrong...this is wrong on so many levels. It's what you get when you combine the already insane people of Japan and MTV.

I need to get adopted by the Jenkins family. Other than their penchant for watching Attack of the Clones, this is the greatest hoem theater I have ever seen.

First the woman and the finger in her chili, now this? When did the world turn into Soylent Green? The most amazing part was that they were able to differentiate it from the usual crap they serve at Arby's.

These anti-religious people need to work on their substitute wording..."Under your belief system?"

I guess living with a multitude of cats isn't just for old female spinsters anymore.

Hehe...Pamela Anderson calls J. Lo and P. Diddy idiots, not for their silly nicknames, but because they wear fur. "They look really immature and unenlightened," she says, presumably in her tight leather pants.

I am not going to be wearing any slippers when I go to India after reading this article.