Farkin' Links Vol. 130 8/16

Gee, I got a complaint or two about having no links yesterday, and, well, I feel your pain. I totally apologize and you'll get a full refund. I watched the remake to Assault on Precinct 13 the other day which must have been made by a guy who really likes to play Counterstrike. There were more gunshots to the head than I've ever seen in a movie, even all of the Governator's flicks. Either way, the plot is pretty simple. A crimelord, the ever cool Laurence Fishburne, is arrested and ends up transfered to an aging police precinct that's being closed due to budget cuts with the last shift, led by a burned out cop, played by a badly aging Ethan Hawke. A huge storm has isolated the precinct, which is soon under assault by a group of commandos who look more like they've been playing too much Splinter Cell. At least it's a more modern game. It's a pretty basic, by the numbers action flick, a small group of rag tag underdogs fight off a heavily armed enemy while dealing with emotional and trust issues as well as being hopelessly outnumbered. It's a sharp looking flick and the actors are obviously having fun in their cardboard cut out characters. Especially hamming it up is Brian Dennehy, who I wasn't even aware was still alive. He plays an old cop who's about to retire; gee, I wonder if he survives this movie, huh? Ethan Hawke is really starting to grow on me. When he came into the movies, he was an angry pretty boy who thought he was the next coming of James Dean. Since he didn't manage to die young, he's starting to lose his looks and becoming more hard edged and cynical. Anyways, if you wanna see a fun, mindless action flick with lots of graphic violence, chock full of smart-ass, cynical dialogue, this is your movie. I'll give it a 7/10. Or in Tristan's grading system, a B-.

"The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one."
--Elbert Hubbard


I be this guy wishes his heart surgery hadn't been successful...of course, being married to three women at the same time is probably a good way to develop heart problems...

Hmmm...I don't think this guy likes Haley Joel Osment too much. I have to agree with his 3 expression theory, though.

See, this is why they don't let Asian folks onto Fear Factor.

This ain't safe for work...but it's pretty damn funny. Has your pops ever walked in on you doing something you weren't supposed to?

It seems they're going to try and remove the negative religious messages from the movie version of the Da Vinci Code...I guess it's going to be a 30 minute short, then.

Another not safe for work link, but this is the ultimate "Japanese people are crazy" link; they're just sick and wrong, really.

At least someone is putting a use to all these bums hanging around begging for change. "Bum-vertising" is pretty catchy; I'd rather see that than yet another homeless veteran sign.

All I have to say is...only one in four?

On the same subject...what the hell is up with Jennifer Connelly? Online shopping? I don't think even Jack would do that...well, o.k., maybe...

Saudi Arabia sounds like such a fun loving country, doesn't it? I guess this is why muslim countries aren't big on technology.

Yep...I would totally be in juvie if I was a kid nowadays. I remember once nailing a moving car from 50 feet away...

I didn't realize there was so much science going on in Kung Fu...it just seems like an experiment Ben Wu would do.

Wow! I think I'm moving to Virginia!

Just a word of advice to other bankrobbers out there; buying a multiple cars with cash is generally a tip off. Use your credit card.

A blank keyboard for 80 dollars? Good lord, I'll sell you clowns one for 25. How much does a can of spray paint cost, anyways?