Farkin' Links Vol. 134 8/22

I really was meaning to watch the two indy, artsy-crap movies I received from netflix this weekend. I really did...but I went and watched the 40 Year Old Virgin instead. I may have delayed the emotional rollercoaster and soul searching that only depressing, boring indy movies can bring, but at least I laughed my ass off. The 40 Year Old Virgin is the tale of a middle aged man, Andy, played by Steve Carrell, who has had bad luck with women, so he just decided to not deal with them anymore...at all. Living in a cocoon of nostalgia, he basically spends his days playing video games, painting minatures and collecting toys from long past TV shows. Strangely enough, this is exactly what my friend Alex does with his time now that he's married, so maybe it has nothing to do with our main character's virginity. Either way, he's finally outed at work and his newly discovered friends decide to make it their mission to get him laid. Unfortunately, they're ideas of relationships with women are almost as distorted as his...actually, it's not unfortunate at all...it's frickin' laugh-a-minute hilarious stuff. Every guy should be able to relate to many situations in this movie, especially some of the conversations that these fellas have about women. It's a very R rated movie much like Wedding Crashers, and about as funny. It doesn't have a home run hitter like Vince Vaughn, but the entire cast is solid and it doesn't get bogged down in romance, like Wedding Crashers. Comedies are hard to judge, since the humor can be heavily affected by the mood of crowd and your own feelings. I'm not quite sure if this is a comedy classic; I'll probably have to watch it a couple of times to see if it holds up, so for now it's getting a 8.5/10. Hey, any movie that can make a gay joke involving Coldplay is guaranteed a high mark. For the Tristan score, it definitely gets an A.

"If you would not step into the harlot's house, do not go by the harlot's door."
--Thomas Secker


Jeez, this woman dies of a flesh eating bacteria from the the St. John's river and officials are not warning anyone because it's just one isolated case. Next they'll be telling us it was a boating accident.

God Lord! I hope Ken dolls don't look this scary; I feel bad for little girls if that's the case. They're all going to be lesbians...not that there's anything wrong with that.

Here's one for the ladies. Did you ever want to see a guy do a pole dance? Me neither...but hey, if he wants to embarrass the hell out of himself, I'll help.

I don't care about these disgusting pictures, I'm still going to eat big macs.

Wow, someone needs to see his therapist. This guy has a disturbing fixation on Batman and Robin doing...well, it's not good.

Hehe...at least the flyboys in the military are having a good time. Maybe he should take that act on the road.

5 times a day? This guy's quite impressive...but why take this woman to court? It seems a bit excessive.

Drinking and driving don't mix...unless you have a gun. Then you can do whatever the pho-k you want.

This poor girl got killed while having a photo shoot with a Bengal tiger. I can understand the tiger though; they were probably trying to shoot his bad side.

Damn, my entertainment IQ is fading; I only got 5 out of 10...I need start watching more TV.

Sure, this is a pretty impressive tip, but the last time I left a full 25 percent tip! That's pretty impressive too.

This is an interesting test...spot the fake smile!

Wow...this bomb squad makes the Keystone Cops look like the SWAT team.

We all know women are terrible drivers, but this guy made a list of the world's worst female drivers. I love the champion...I don't know that she's a terrible driver, I think she's just trying to start a new trend.

Not only should you not bring your cell phone to a robbery...but if you lose, it's gone, man. Don't try to call it and hope a good samaritan will return it. Karma says you're screwed.