Farkin' Links Vol. 133 8/19

A group of us went to the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim game...still getting used to that silly name. It's almost as bad as the Mighty Ducks. The the Angels Angels were playing the evil Bostonian Red Sox, my father's favorite team. He used to rub in the fact that they were much better than the Angels and basically turned me into a Red Sox hater early; I'm sure it would have happened at some point had I met other Red Sox fans. You won't find more obnoxious, moody, self-centered bastards in all of sports.

The game was featuring fatboy Bartolo Colon pitching for the Angels(who, as Moody pointed out to me, freakishly looks like a Cabage Patch doll) and the robotic Wakefield for the Red Sox. At first, we thought we were in for a pitcher's duel as it was 1-0 going into the bottom of the 5th. This was about the time the Angels decided to make it more exciting for us. As Wakefield had managed to dodge a baseball to the head smacked by Darin Erstad, Casey Kotchman finally got a piece of him that inning by wacking a ball right into his ankle. He had the ducking down, just not the hopping...I suppose he needs to play more platform games. They had to take the poor guy out and replace him with the killer from Halloween, Michael Myers. Luckily for us, he's a better slasher than pitcher, and he promptly gave up a home run on his first pitch. At that point, the game started to get out of hand.

The Red Sox tried to make it interesting at the top of the 7th by loading the bases and actually scoring some runs. This caused all the Red Sox pukes to get all excited and start cheering...they started out louder than the Angel fans, but eventually, the Angel faithful decided to step up and began winning the cheering contest. At this point, some smart Bostonian decided to split the difference and started up a "Yankees Suck!" cheer, which everybody could agree on. That ended up being the loudest cheer of the night; even though they probably won't make the playoffs, the Yankees are still the most hated team in baseball. This was a game that featured everything; some good pitching, home runs, bad fielding(of course, when Manny Ramirez is involved, you'll see some funny sh*t. He gave the Angels a couple runs on his own by just being Manny),some serious scoring,and most importantly, the Angels beat the defending World Champs for the first game of the series. All in all, a good night at the ballpark. GO ANGELS!

"Discretion is not the better part of biography."
--Lytton Strachey

There goes China again, trying to be crazy like the Japanese. Sure, forcing employees to get divorced to get their jobs back is weird, but not quite up to Nippon standards.

They say no pain, no gain...well, this guy proves it. How many times are you willing to cause irreparable brain damage to do a bike stunt?

This is a nice little collage of women looking foolish. Way to go, America's Funniest Home Videos. I guess men aren't the only ones who make utter jackasses out of themselves.

I suppose this guy was also inspired by those great McDonald's commercials starring Michael Jordan and Larry Legend back in the day.

...and the future is now. Video playing tombstones, just like in all those science fiction movies. Now all we need is MY DAMN FLYING CAR!

I hope Moody isn't using his cell phone to take pictures like this clown.

Wow...this may be the best video I've seen since R. Kelly's operatic epic.

For our "Japanese people are crazy" link, we have a door that adjusts to your height and width...you basically look like Wil E. Coyote being flung through a wall. I wonder if you can get impaled if it malfunctions?

Oh boy; a wacky techno geek, probably a graduate of Cal Tech, shows you how to turn a nintendo controller into your remote control. Why? A Captain-N wanna be, I guess.

OUCH! This is something I'd expect out of that crazy wrestler Sabu; I guess he has his next generation of followers.

I know this works in movies all the time, but I didn't think you really could lay unmolested under a moving bus.

This is a pretty entertaining review of a very bizarre Miyazaki flick, Pon Poko. Yeah, I was wondering what was up with all the magical scrotums, myself.

It's been a while, but the old axiom is still true; old people will pho-k you up. Especially if you interrupt their feeding time...let's face it; it's probably the only pleasure besides using the bathroom they still get in life.

Wow, when it rains, it pours. Not only will old people pho-k you up, they'll pop a cap in yo ass, foo, then drive away very slowly in their Grand Marquis.

Damn, Timmy got thrown out of a movie theatre. That's just harsh, man. Timmay!