Farkin' Links Vol. 137 8/25

Scanning the tv last night, I noticed the media is still following that non-story about the missing girl in Aruba, which I guess isn't a surprise considering Cindy Sheehan took a break from her ditch in Crawford for the week, but does anybody actually care about this story? I don't want to sound cold hearted, but people go missing all the time without round the clock news coverage. I know it's slow in the summer, but come on, people! You're journalists! Can't you actually take a walk outside the studio and find something else to talk about? Surely there's a dog stuck up in a tree or something, right? Speaking of non-stories, I noticed that the French have "definitive proof" that Lance Armstrong was cheating by using banned substances. I'll lay off the old joke about finding deodorant and a tooth brush in his hotel room, but I will ask the following question; Who cares? It's a bunch of dudes in spandex riding bicycles...I'd rather watch the Magic: The Gathering tournaments on ESPN8. The only reason we paid any attention was the fact that an American was whoopin' some French ass, but really, how is that even unexpected? What have the French been good at lately, other than taking long vacations and surrendering? Frankly, I'm happy as hell Lance retired, because now I don't have to watch bike riding on my ESPN anymore. It joins the trash bin of history, along with women's soccer, and hopefully soon, the WNBA.

"Confusion is always the most honest response."
--Marty Indik


Here's some big news...Tara Reid has admitted that her breasts are fake. In other earth shattering news, the pope has admitted he's a catholic.

Here's a rather funny yet totally inaccurate list of famous virgins.

Oh...my...god...Scott Spiezio, what the hell happened to you? You were a World Series hero...

This link is a collection of people with really poor computer skills. I should probably submit some of the stories from the people working here.

Well, this site certainly gets to the point. I'll have roast beef on rye.

I'm always in favor of a spanking, so I don't see a problem with this pamphlet.

For the "Japanese people are crazy" link, we have visual proof. Remind me never to travel on the subway in Tokyo.

Looks like China is cracking down on their budding internet stars...does this really qualify as a hot chick in China? Now I'm actually feeling bad for the communists...

This is not cool. I've heard of a woman taking a man's balls before...but this is just sick and wrong.

I know gas prices have been pretty high, so I've included this link to an alternative to your gas guzzling car.

I guess there's really not much to do in the Ozarks; still, this looks pretty fun.

I've been neglecting Moody's soccer links...now now, don't all of you get upset. I know how much you love them as well. Anyways, here's some visual evidence of why there's no scoring in soccer.

This baby retouching service is just wrong...this isn't healthy for the grieving family members.

Here's a fun Counterstrike-like shooter for you guys to waste time with. Get 'dem terrorists!

I always knew those Power Rangers were shifty dudes...why else would they wear a mask?