Farkin' Links Vol. 132 8/18

So, this morning I did a signing for an actor. I'd tell you his name, but the last time I mentioned a band in here(one that shall remain nameless since they're obviously over-sensitive bitches who have far too much time on their hands googling their mentions in even tiny blogs that nobody reads), I ended up in a little hot water with one of my signing employers. Anyways, he's an old man and a bit part actor that you may have seen before. My company screwed up the location, so I ended up meeting with them late. They have this longtime family friend, a loud italian lady, who was helping them with understanding the details of the loan. She, of course, was confusing the hell out of the issue since she didn't know anything either, but she spoke with the complete, confident certainty that only the truly ignorant can project. The morning screw up combined with her obstinate and extremely loud nature put me in a mood that I rarely get in. I ended up in a sort of screaming match with her over this particularly minor document because she couldn't understand and kept talking over my explanation. She actually backed down first and left to call the loan officer to ask her silly question while I was able to finish up the signing...and wouldn't you know? I forgot to ask him for an autograph, media stalker that I am. I mean, how often do you meet a guy who was in Dreamscape AND Young Guns II?

"The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from."
--Andrew S. Tanenbaum


This may be the boldest advice column I've ever seen. We have golden showers, beastiality and gay massages in just three letters. In the immortal words of Keanu Reeves,"Whoa!"

A battery powered by urine? I appreciate the attempt to save money on batteries, but, do I really want to be handling a remote control I had to pee into to power it? Hmmm...maybe...

For the silly ebay auction link today, we have one of the creepiest dolls I've ever seen. But hey, at least they made it anatomically correct. Sorry Winston, it's a female.

Hot damn! This guy is just plain amazing with a pool cue! He might even be able to take on the Miz.

For the "Japanese people are crazy" link, we have electronic skin so robots can gain the sense of touch. Great, just what I always wanted; my carseat able to feel me up.

I hope this lady isn't hoping to market this artwork for children.

According to this scientific study, porn magazines last longer in garbage dumps than other types of print media. Well, at least this guy calls it a study. That was probably what he told his wife, anyways.

Hehe...this is some serious street justice. Read the story of the dog-poop-girl and fear the internet. Fear it!

Oh. My. God. This is just sick and wrong...and is going to give me nightmares about rattlesnakes for probably the rest of my life. Don't click on this link unless you're brave enough to see some seriously bad surgery from a snakebite.

...and I thought getting married in a drive-thru in Vegas was tacky. At least they don't ask you after you've kissed the bride if you want fries with that.

Damn! And I had just found the one person I would, without a doubt, vote for in the next presidential election! I feel like a little boy who's lost his first tooth, put it under his pillow, waiting for the tooth-fairy to come...

Hehe...I bet Moody wishes he were a Russian cow right about now...

I'd call these people a bunch of dorks, but really, I can understand their point of view. Legos are the best!

Here's yet another reason why I need to visit China. Looks like I need to do it in summer.

...and if you're feeling adventurous today...try a little Russian roulette.