Finally...Friday is here. Enjoy it while it lasts.

This reminds me of last weekend...at least I didn't have sushi.

Yet another foolish criminal that has yet to head my warning...Old people will fuck you up.

Just in case you were thinking of jumping onto the bandwagon of the next big movement...it seems it's nudism.

O.K., now that's pretty funny. If the Vatican is mad about it, that's a good sign.

Well, there you go. Left handers not only write funny, they're also more prone to homicidal tendencies. Probably due to using a right handed can opener all the time.

I think George Costanza tried this defense once to prove he wasn't gay...not that there's anything wrong with it...

Dude, I bet Winston would like this article.

Wow...you do this in Russia and you get arrested. You do this on MTV and they give you a television show.

Man attacks clerk with a burger. Hmmm...with what those creepy faux hamburgers are made out of in AM/PM, I wonder if they can charge him with assault with a deadly weapon.

This guy thinks he's found Atlantis in Tampa, Florida. Disney soon to buy up island and start a new theme park.

Somehow this story about fertilizer didn't come out of CBS.

Well, my last fortune said,"Do not dwell on differences with a loved one-try a compromise." I like these ones better.

Something tells me Santa is putting this kid on his naughty list for next year. Threatening to cut off people's heads usually isn't very nice.

If this is her idea of a column, she's too stupid to go to college.

Hmmm...could this be why ODB died? Usually, when you swallow a big bag of cocaine, bad things happen.

It must be Christmas time...because everyone is trying to piss off the Vatican. Hey, let's make fun of the immaculate conception!

Jeez...what is this guy driving? The Batmobile? How do you not notice a guy on the hood of your car?

Finally, a politican doing something useful. Actually, I think theatres should do this on their own, but if they're too useless, then let's start handing out some fines!

Hehe...I guess back in the 13th century, penises really did grow on trees...

It's nice to know Phoenix has such intelligent officials. I think he was inspired by Teen Wolf and attempted to surf on the top of his car...in other words...Evolution in Action.