Farkin' Links Vol. 111 7/15

Friday is finally here. I haven't had any strange signing stories lately because I've been doing so many that they're all sort of running together at this point. One thing I can say is that older black couples are usually really damn entertaining. Last night I did a signing with this guy who is a metalsmith; about 6'2", arms like Paul Bunyan and hands that could probably tear a phone book in half; you wouldn't even think he was 65 years old. His loan company seemed to be trying to take advantage of him, he knew it, but didn't much care. That didn't stop him from calling up his loan officer and cursing him out threatening to not sign all the while smiling at his officer's reactions. He really didn't get exactly want he wanted, but at least he made that guy's day a little more stressful and gave me a free show.

"Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without asking a clear question."
--Albert Camus


Man...these monks are weak. They're supposed to be showing their mad kung fu skillz, not stabbing themselves. Still, they don't look half as bad as the keystone cops trying to arrest them.

Oh no! Toxic baby avengers! Yet another scare tactic study that is looking to enrich scientists...so they can conduct more studies.

Damn, I wish my coke tasted like this. Why does it only happen to people who can't appreciate it? Well, if I go to Germany, I supposed I can buy it.

Great, let's open Al Capone's vault in Egypt! They're going to send the robot back into the great pyramid after the last failure and hope that drilling through a recently discovered door will reveal treasure I suppose. If only they could get Geraldo to host it.

For the "Japanese people are crazy" link of the day, we have a television that shows two different channels at the same time if you look at it at different angles. All this television watching might be why they have the lowest birthrates in the world. I'm scared...they might die out and I'd have no Japanese links anymore.

It seems the new pope isn't going to be purchasing a pre-sale of the new Harry Potter book. Maybe he'll go with another copy of Mein Kampf.

Here's another case of political correctness run amok. Amok, I say! That's a fun work, amok. Amok amok amok! Sorry, got distracted...If they wanna be dykes and ride around on bikes, who's to stop them?

Awww...Juwana Mann actually got jail time for masquerading as a woman. I demand tests on that Michelle Wie chick...or is she?

That's interesting; this marriage got annulled because this 95 year old man didn't understand what he was doing. I agree; this chick was 58...obviously he could do much younger and hotter with all his millions.

Look for the bare necessities, the simple bare necessities...I better not have any children. It seems this is the result of alcoholism.

Wow...I guess owning that stupid Chocolate Factory does some strange things to you. A handle bar mustache? At least he doesn't look as bad as Johnny Depp.

Yes, these are our brave fighting men over there in Iraq. Maybe they're preparing to appear in an episode of Fear Factor. Uriel, don't get any ideas.

I've heard tales of this crazy kung fu movie...now that I've seen the clip, I can tell it's disgusting, tasteless and completely horrible. I have GOT TO SEE IT!

People in Germany have no taste...of course, they like to crap on each other in porno videos too, so I'm not too surprised by this headline.

Oh yeah, this is going to piss off some parental groups something awful. It pisses me off too, but only because it resembles a useless videogame device in the vein of the power glove and that crappy robot that came with the Nintendo.

I think I may have posted this before...but hell, it's so good I'll post it again.

See, online games will ruin your life. Of course, murdering and kidnapping people will usually do that anyways.

Normally Japanese people are crazy, but I'm down with the Tokyo governor. France sucks.

The lesson here is to not answer any dating emails from crazy Russians who want to take you out for a Night at the Roxbury's. This guy's picture is worth the link alone. I'm still laughing...

Sure, you could learn how to paint or play a musical instrument...but this...this is true talent.