Farkin' Links Vol. 109 7/13

I guess this is movie week, because I ended up watching Fantastic Four last night. A new, fun game to play when you're at the movie theatre nowadays is Sequel, Remake, or New. Try and call out whether the movie is one of these three, but go easy on the new. The only preview we saw that wasn't a sequel was Sky High...in a time when they'll even make a sequel to the Transporter, you know Hollywood is short on ideas. Since I always hated the Fantastic Four comic book and had heard rather tepid reviews, I wasn't expecting a damn thing from it. In that way, I was pleasantly surprised. The movie seems to be aimed at a younger audience as it stays fairly light and never takes itself too seriously. Of course, any movie that casts Jessica Alba as a genius scientist isn't trying very hard. I think it was easier to believe a guy could fly around on fire than to believe Alba knew half the "science" explanations coming out of her mouth. It must be hard being an attractive woman trying to convince the world you're not just a pretty face, especially when you're as wooden and lost looking as she is.

The basic story is this; brilliant but mistake prone scientist Richard Reed and his buddy pilot Ben Grimm convince a wealthy industrialist and college friend, Von Doom(Yeah, right...I dunno where they get these names either), to study this cloud from his space station which may assist in understanding the human genome better. Reed's ex-girlfriend and current head scientist with Von Doom, Sue Storm(no really, that's her name)and her goofy pilot brother Johnny Storm accompany the three to the space station and they get exposed to the cloud, or bitten by a radioactive spider, or whatever. When they come back, they find out they now have various powers, much like the Incredibles. (Just kidding, the Incredibles stole most of their superhero powers from Marvel and especially Fantastic Four...they just happened to do it much better) Reed is trying to build a machine that will reverse the effects for poor Ben Grimm who has transformed into a big rock while Johnny Storm is running around trying to be a celebrity. In line with the new superhero movie cliche, Von Doom starts to lose power of his company through some impossible boardroom shennanigans(much like Batman Begins, Spiderman...you get the picture)and he decides to start killing people. As far as villians go, he's not particularly impressive, but he is made out of metal and can blast people with electricity or something. Anyways, you can guess what happens; lots of property damage gets done, many clever lines and taunting occurs and the 4 face off against this "Dr. Doom" fella. All in all, it was a pretty funny movie. In fact, I enjoyed it at least as much as the humorless Batman Begins, so I'll give it a 7/10.

"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."
--Will Rogers


I guess you don't have to be rich to have an indoor pool...just an idiot.

In case you needed evidence that CIA agents are complete dolts, here's yet another case.

For the "Japanese people are crazy" link...we have a fun street magician making Japanese people look even more confused than normal.

Every party has to have a pooper. This guy needs to be beaten by his friends.

I wonder who's pocket this fell out of? I usually have lots of change, pens and other junk in my sofa...certainly not explosives.

Damn that Godzilla...it's time he and Mothra went and got themselves a room instead of destroying the Japanese countryside.

Even the trailer trash in Los Angeles are millionaires. Property values have officially entered bizarro world.

If this is what needs to happen for a cleaner, environmentally safe world, count me out...and women think men are disgusting...

Oh my god...this is just sick and wrong. I know Dustin Hoffman played a woman, but I didn't realize he took to it so well. NSFW

Hey, buddy, I think you're riding that bike all wrong.

This is a pretty fun game keeping a paper airplane flying...although I've never had one break into pieces when it landed. Maybe it's a glass plane.

Here's a pretty interesting collection of minigames. Check out the bug one.

Alright! The Yeti and his little penguin friends are back...and they've brought a llama! Hehe...Tina you fat lard! Come get some dinner!

Well, we already know that Japanese people are crazy, but them wacky Chinese people keep going for the title. Can't you see these online games are tearing this family apart!!!

Be careful what you wish for...you just might get it.

I think you're supposed to be surprised by the dog, but I'm mostly just annoyed by the people.

The lesson here, I suppose, is don't be french in Kansas. Still...lesbians...cool.

You know...Scientology is pretty bad, but I think it's still an easier life than being gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Scarlett Johansson is the greatest actress of her generation...I for one support her distaste of ugly bras.

This is the best news of the day! There's going to be a sequel to Road House! YES!!!