As if actual student drivers weren't dangerous enough...

I think I've found the perfect gift for Marlon this year for his birthday. Maybe I should buy the package and give it for Christmas as well.

Hehe...to go along with the "lazy" gene, they've now found the slut gene. It's really true; science is going to eventually prove that we have no free will if we give them another year or so.

I guess Jews really do have a more healthy appreciation of sex than Christians...but they have much goofier names. Shmuley Boteach? Is it a name or a disease?

I guess this is more proof of the Sports Guy's eternal life lesson,"Women ruin everything."

That crazy Paris Hilton...she needs her own television reality show...preferably on the Spice Channel.

Oh yeah, this sounds like the worst drink ever concocted...unless you're trying to keep the vampires away.

For the almost ultimate rush...I guess you have to go to Estonia.

Yet more proof that criminals crawled out of the stupid gene pool. Well, at least he helped the cops remove him from his predicament.

So, what's the prize here, exactly? A shortened prison sentence?

Oh yeah...that's really tasteful, Tatu. Can't you girls go back to kissing each other instead?

Next time you feel the need to critize someone, make sure they don't have a knife in their hands.

I'm sure Carmen knows what speaks on this subject, at least. I'll stick to the drink instead.

Man...compared to these guys, our gang members are a bunch of pussies. Then again, this is the country that has the most baby rapes, so I suppose this is mild for them.

Just like the saying, those who can, do. Those who can't, teach. Unless you're in Japan.

This is an interesting story about a structure similar to Stonehenge. Not surprising, as the aliens helped build it. They probably checked out Russia too.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...of course, you probably shouldn't store hundreds of vials of cocaine at your house when you call the cops.

Well, now I know EXACTLY what to get Moody this Christmas!

Ummm...I'm really glad Alyssa Milano can entertain herself, but is that something we really need to know?

Wow...those are some caring bosses...the only question I have is, are they hiring?