First off...here's a man who knows real evil and what to do about it. Memorize his brilliant advice.

This crazy guy just won't stay out of the headlines...he's an actor or something, right? Someone tell me why he's famous again.

Well there you go...go buy your woman some chocolate.

This seems to be a theme on the internet. Probably because they're anonymous.

This sounds rather...painful.

Injury? What did the couple do? Sing a duet?

This "extreme" sport could only have been invented by a bunch of drunk Aussies. I'd be happy to let them practice with a real iron at my place anytime, though.

Wow...those chinese will gamble on ANYTHING! Poor Jiminy Cricket. Well, at least they get to fight for their lives instead of getting eaten...which seems to be the other Chinese pastime.

I think they should have let them into the country just on creativity points.

Wow...the legacy of Spinal Tap lives on!

That's a new answer to that age old question, "Your money or your life!" I'll write a check.

Hey Vicky...if this guy calls you, don't listen to him! He's not a real cop!

Damn those border agents! They've let a chupacabra illegally cross over into Colorado.

This is almost too silly to be true. I'd award her a million dollars, tell her it's at the bottom of the Pacific ocean and forget to tell her that water makes people drown.

See...why can't the government spend money on cool stuff like this instead of studies about ape testicles?

Damn...I'm sorry I missed out on this game as a kid.

Holy crap! This chick is fertile!

Speaking of crap...I always knew Dave Matthews was pretty shitty...but this...

What a bozo. He should have used the camel clutch and then finished him off with a pile driver.

Wow...that's creepy...maybe he was watching the Ring!

This isn't exactly safe for work...but what the hell. You can just say you're shopping for dog toys.

I dunno...maybe he's on to something. I would have loved to see the principal get beat everytime I screwed up in school. I wonder how long before Mel Gibson gets blamed for this.

This is what happens when elephants don't have a loving home...they turn to a live of drinking and crime.