It's certainly tragic, but hey, at least they were in the right company. How much do you want to bet alcohol was involved somehow?

Hehe...69...well, I guess I can understand where they're coming from. It sure sounds like a fun place, though.

As Homer Simpson once said,"In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"

Now THAT'S an exciting soccer match!

I dunno what's with the disrespect to the Doc, but 50 cent apparently isn't all talk.

Maybe she'll write a book about how to survive prison now.

Cool! I've always loved golden arches. Would you like fries with that shake...oh, forget that last one.

I'm not really surprised...but the last line says it all. "Well, these documents do explain one thing," said Kowshik. "I always wondered how AOL managed to maintain a customer satisfaction rate of 40%. Now we know exactly which 40% of their client base that is."

What is it with women wanting to get into men's locker rooms, but we're not allowed into theirs?

How much do you wanna be alcohol factors into this survey?

Jeez...Dr. Nick from the Simpsons strikes again. "Stab marks? I thought they were wrinkles!"

I was only a matter of time before phone ads ventured into porn.

With employees like that, I bet that office building has never gotten robbed.

Darn...this story turned out to be a hoax. Unlike Dan Rather and the C-BS news, I make corrections. Still...69...hehe...

I don't know how the hell I missed this...but that line about it being impossible to understimate the intelligence of people seems to be proven true here. One thing I did learn from this seller, though, is that Mary is apparently the patron saint of Gambling.

Gee...and I would have thought she'd be easily accepted into Harvard.

Man...this guy must collect a fortune in loose change! That's why he's diving into fountains, right?

Holy crap! I may have to take up bowling again! If anybody is looking for a Christmas gift for me...

Chih Hao...you need to stop falling asleep at the wheel!

There's a lot of facial shots today...I wonder what's going on?

Wow...now that's adventure! I dunno about the selling your possessions and walking the earth like Kane, but I guess you gotta do what ya gotta do.

I dunno...this didn't seem to do much for my friend Uriel...

Somebody forward this to Jack. I think I found a way for him to make money that doesn't involve him doing any actual work.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure Medieval Times got it wrong with serving Coca Cola, but this is grounds for an entire article? Slow news day.