Farkin' Links Vol. 68 5/5

I had another signing last night in the hood; about a mile outside of Inglewood in a neighborhood that could have been the set for Friday. There were a bunch of kids fighting out front of the house so I sort of had to shoo them away without getting knifed or shot. When I got to the door, I was met by a little black kid who was in the process of putting his shoes onto the wrong feet. After I gave him some pointers about the right shoe going onto the right foot, he called for his dad. For the first time in my life at a signing, I was speechless. This guy, who is a spittin' image of Karl Malone came out in a wife beater, a pair of boxers and a flower patterned shower cap. "Give me a minute while I get some clothes on," he said. Thank goodness he didn't try to do the signing looking like that...although he did keep the shower cap on. I really do meet some of the strangest people on my side job.

"Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted."
--Aldous Huxley


Testaclese sounds like a most powerful and exhilarating mascot. I'm all in favor of P-day...why should the women have all the fun talking about their genitalia?

Must have been a slow day at a current affair to devote a whole segment to...fainting goats. Yep, you read that right. Fainting goats.

This little game is really simple, but damn addicting. Look out for that wall!

Star Trek is dead. Long live...Smallville? Yeah, I can't say I agree with that.

J-Lo wants to be president, huh? Well, she's about as good an actor as Ronald Reagan. Maybe she should run for Governor of California first.

It seems that finger food is becoming the new hotness, to go along with freeway shootings and high school teachers seducing students.

I think I've discovered the reason obesity is on the rise in the U.S.; no it isn't marriage.

To get an idea of how sheltered and idiotic researchers can be, they are warning that the rich in 3rd world countries are at a greater risk of heart disease. Hmmm...heart disease or starvation? Yeah, that's a tough choice.

I haven't done you justice in keeping up with the local celebrity news lately, so here's a new one. Hillary Duff's mom really likes her new 25 year old recovering alcoholic boyfriend. I can understand her logic; they'll be able to go to rehab together in a couple of years.

If you can't wait to watch Paris Hilton get murdered and displayed in that new movie "House of Wax", you can beat her ass instead with this flash game.

This is a strange calendar/clock...it actually makes watching the time go by somewhat interesting.

I think I found the perfect gift for Marlon's birthday.

For the silly ebay auction of the day, you can be the biggest geek on your block in preparation for the new Star Wars movie...for only 80,000 credits!

Come worship at the altar of the church of Pac-Man! I'd consider it, if I wasn't already an upstanding member of the church of What's Happening Now!

Since I'm still stuck on the geek links, here's a pictoral of the ladies starring on the original Star Trek, which should be named all the chicks that Captain James T. Kirk banged on his 3 year mission.

I suppose this is supposed to be for personal protection, but I'd probably accidentally use it on myself...at least once a week.

If you're too cheap to buy a tivo but have a lot of time on your hands and your personal hero is MacGyver, here's a good project for you.

I bet this kid is a big Barbra Streisand fan.

Hehe...only in San Francisco. Still, this is good training in case they move to Amsterdam or something.

This site saves you the trouble of pretending to read that ridiculously long and tedious book by James Joyce. Ulysses for Dummies.