Farkin' Links Vol. 73 6/3

I signed up for Netflix this week because it fits well with my lazy nature; forget trying to find a movie at Blockbuster then paying the 20 dollar late fee because I forgot to take it back. My first movie on the list was one I had heard so many things about it, Shaolin Soccer. For those of you unaware of foreign movies, this is a Chinese movie made by the famous( in China, I suppose)Stephen Chow and, at one time, the biggest grossing movie in Hong Kong history. The story is basically any sports underdog movie you have ever seen with some kung fu and cartoon style mayhem thrown in for the hell of it. Chow, a former Shaolin monk down on his luck, links up with a has-been soccer star and his former monk friends to enter a soccer tournament and earn some respect. Just in case you were confused on who to root for, the villian soccer team is actually named "Team Evil." Who the hell would sponsor a team like that? You know, besides Starbucks. Well, it is in China, so maybe it's a government team, like Ivan Drago. It's rather timely too, as Team Evil is using American drugs to make themselves into super athletes; who knew BALCO had clients in the Far East? I half expected to see Barry Bonds and Jason Giambi on the sidelines...but then, Giambi already has a contract with the American Team Evil, the New York Yankees. There's even a feeble attempt at a romance between Chow's character and a sweet bun making kung fu master, but it seems she's the only one interested. This is the second movie I've seen in which Stephen Chow comes off as though he's just not "into" women...not that there's anything wrong with that. The story was ridiculous, confusing and meandering. But it's not the type of movie you watch for those things; you're there to laugh at all the nonsense and cartoon violence, so for that, I give it an 8/10. I laughed my ass off.

"Life is like arriving late for a movie, having to figure out what was going on without bothering everybody with a lot of questions, and then being unexpectedly called away before you find out how it ends."
--Joseph Campbell


Wow. This is just...wow.

Ben Wu and his weird Cal Tech cult strike again. Learn to pick a lock with parts from you harddrive. I hope that 20 dollar item inside the lock was worth the 100 dollar harddrive you had to destroy.

I shouldn't laugh at people who live in trailer parks since an Aunt and Uncle of mine were doing that at one time...then they got evicted. Now that, that requires some serious mocking.

I'm pretty sure Mr. Wizard is turning in his grave after this experiment with tampons. I mean, that dude has to be dead at this point, right? He looked a hundred years old 20 years ago.

Well, hell, I guess not. Mr. Wizard not only is still alive, but he has a freakin' web site! Damn, the guy flew 56 bombing missions over Italy during WWII. He really IS an American Hero!

Hehe, can't let this story go. Why did the chicken cross the road? To fight "the man", that's why!

For the silly ebay auction of the day, Congreve's famous lines fit well,"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned." Still, what a total bitch...

Damn...that's one mean prank, involving the biggest water balloon I've ever seen and a girl in a port a potty.

This girl should cut down on the cheeseburgers if she's gonna be pole vaulting.

This guy must be really bored in the army; I'll have to ask Uriel what he thinks of these rules.

It's usually a good idea not to hit cops...even if you're a girl.

This isn't safe for work, but I only need two words to sell this link. Midget Wrestlers!

This game is sick and wrong...but surprisingly fun. As a bonus, you get to fight the Governator as one of the level bosses.

This is just bad reporting; stories like this require pictures. Many, many pictures.

For the "Japanese people are crazy" link today, we have a very sordid affair. It seems their reality t.v. is kicking things up to the next level. Bam!

This is a MUCH better air hockey game than the last one I sent you. Plus, you get to crush the losers from other countries as your opponents. Take that, Canada, you bunch of hosers!

Certain men can be aroused with the suggestion of alcohol. I know men become less discriminating with alcohol, but I was unaware about this...

Wow, those Chinese keep trying to wrest the "crazy" title from the Japanese in wacky stories. If they keep up with stuff like this, I may have to declare them the champions.

Who are these people to play God! Why should they keept these glaciers from melting by using destructive technology like this?

Hehe...In the words of Homer J. Simpson, "wrong again, liberal media!"