Farkin' Links Vol. 86 6/2

I had a strange experience last night at Carl's Jr., of all places. Jack, Kim and I went to get a bite to eat in the middle of yet another NBA Live marathon involving the usual suspects as well as Uriel. When we pulled up, I asked for a Western Bacon Cheeseburger...suddenly, the disembodied voice puts his two cents in,"Yes...a Western Bacon Cheeseburger...good choice, good choice...I highly recommend it." Turns out our counter man considered himself not only a comedian but a rapper as well. I don't think I've ever encountered a happier fast food employee in my life. Looks like he works late night on Thursdays, so I know where I can go for dinner and show for cheap.

For those of you who missed out on Dim Sum and the most bizarre conversation involving Winston's naked boy lamp which he apparently "plays" with, he's been nice enough to explain himself with a charming photo essay on his blog. We keep telling him when he's in a hole to stop digging, but well, have a look and be sure to drop him a line about it.

"I am not young enough to know everything."
--Oscar Wilde


Good news for those of you worried about that lawbreaking, jaywalking chicken. It looks like he beat the rap...justice is served!

In other animal news, I should feel bad for this poor squirrel, but I just can't stop laughing about how ridiculous this situation turned out to be.

Now that's what I'm talking about! Truth in advertising.

If this isn't proof nobody looks at a damn thing when they go to museums, I don't know what is. Then again, it could be that people are so stupid now that they might think Walmart has been around this long.

This is great...a brothel museum in Butte, Montana was penetrated through the back door by bandits who made off with antique sex toys. Sometimes these things just write themselves.

I don't know how I missed this, but I about squirted soda out of my nose when I heard it. You need sound and a knowledge of the new Star Wars movie.

Oh boy...just when you think government can't get any more intrusive or stupid, something like this pops up. Remember, when kitchen knives are banned, only the criminals will...oh hell, forget it.

Is there any way we can send Paris Hilton to live in Vietnam? It sounds like a great women's prison movie in the making.

For the "Japanese people are crazy" link, I'm guessing this is one of their crazy game shows where people humiliate and seriously injure themselves for prizes. Hey, it beats the hell out of buying a vowel. (Hat tip: Tristan)

Hehe...not a good time to lose one's head, I suppose.

Jeez...as if the purses weren't ugly and expensive enough. This looks like it would be really easy to accidentally drop.

While I don't entirely agree with this guy's assessment of Star Wars, he makes some very good points.

If you're planning an abduction or just a really funny prank, this page on how to create cholorform should come in handy...or you can just ask Ben Wu to mix you up some and save some time.

That's it Britney; you've finally jumped the shark. I was willing to put up with the retarded trailer trash you chose as a husband but...soccer? WTF!

Okay...that was just disturbing.

I'm just a squirrel trying to get a nut...

So now g-strings are hazardous to your health. Well ladies, I guess that means you should just stop wearing underwear completely. We just want you to be healthy.

This is something that could only have come from Asia. I can see this being used in the wrong way...much like Winston's little naked boy lamp.
Go ahead, ask him about it.

Science is going to kill us all...but at least our drinks will be cold.

These guys are on to something...I knew that Simpson's episode wasn't just a Halloween fantasy! Get your pho-cking flippers off me, you damn dirty dolphin!