Farkin' Links Vol. 75 5/16

I hope you all had a good weekend, I know I did. Even if it did involve lots of family members. Actually, my cousin graduated from USC (You can't spell suck without USC!) so there was a cool family get together involving lots of pina coladas, games of horse shoes and a giant tortoise. A good time was had by all...as was a very good meal. No, we did not eat the tortoise, we're not Vietnamese, thank you very much. Congratulations to Bunghole...er, I mean Winston on surviving for 26 years, especially with the amount of drinks he had Saturday night. After clubbing for the night for Winston's birthday, we continued onto Denny's for the usual nonsensical conversations you have at 3 in the morning, involving Nazis, investment properties and Andy's cholesterol. Man, we must be getting old...if we start talking about golf and my prostate, I'm going to know it's all over. Oh, my basketball team even had a victory for it's first game of the season which I played a small part in; our opponents managed to self destruct and even managed to get one of their players tossed out after cursing out the ref. It's a damn rec league, people! You're playing for a plastic trophy and a t-shirt...let's keep things in perspective, shall we?

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
--Henry Youngman

Alright! More stick figure kung fu madness...with beer! All it's missing is scantily clad women!

Hmmm...so according to this Swedish study, we should just lock up all crazy people before they kill. Works for me. Of course, that would put all women behind bars...

This guy was playing to the wrong audience. Had he done this in England, he would have gotten a TV deal.

If you thought you had a bad week, watching this clip will make you very happy you're not at this guy's job. (Hat tip: Uriel)

Stick figure man isn't done with his beer, apparently.

Hehe...that guy's gay.

After being banned from wearing skimpy clothing, students in Modesto are complaining they now have nothing to wear. How about a t-shirt and some pants? I hear they still sell those.

Here's a guy with even more time on his hands than I do. My only question is, what could he possibly have to say that often?

This is a strangely addicting game involving Gilligan, a slingshot and a monkey.

This is a novel use for a bra. It's also an embarrassing way to die.

Here's a man that really must love his job...what a lucky bastard.

I think this guy might be trying to overcompensate for something...still, that's a unique guitar.

How is Screech still a celebrity?

I have just one question...when is Ill Mitch coming to town so I can go to a concert?

This guy ain't too funny...but these pictures of former first ladies speak for themselves.

This should put the fear of God, or more specifically, castration, into every rapist out there.

Do you think this silly ebay auction of the day comes with a certificate of authentication? Me neither.

Wow...talk about pushing your luck. He should play the lottery...oh...nevermind.

This may be the coolest prank of all time...I suspect Ben and his crazy group of Cal Tech pranksters.

This is my kind of school spirit! I would have voted for her.